Ratings and Wedding Gifts

There might be a handful of you wondering if there are any updates in my dating life. No, not really. I have not spoken to or seen Andrea since our phone call. I also haven't seen or heard from Harper since our little episode the other day. I did get a job though. Selling satellite TV door-to-door. After my first two days... it's kind of like being on the mish I need a vast knowledge of TV programming instead of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Honoring the request of one of our readers in our last post has lead to numerous people requesting to be rated by me and Calvin. This comes with a great deal of pressure. We've always said that "6" is average... but that means for every "9", there has to be a "3". Who am I to tell a girl she is a 3? She would never recover from that whether I'm anonymous or not, and I would probably have a fairly uncomfortable conversation at the Judgment Seat about ruining her life.

In reality no one should care what we rate them. We are, after all, just two men who are very willing to admit we are only 6's ourselves. Truth be told though... people will care. People will be upset and people will be disappointed that we would stoop so low and be so shallow. That's kind of what this blog is all about, so, we will rate anyone who asks. We will be completely honest, and we will only do it publicly if they request it. Before we do that, we decided that the Mormon Bachelor Pad should be very specific in describing exactly how we rate women. See here.

Last night Calvin and I went to our old roommate Bryson's wedding reception. It was a pretty surreal experience. I mean the guy was living in our house, pretending to sleepwalk and eat Calvin's cookies in the middle of the night just a couple months ago. Now he is married, and let's be honest... he's going to be having sex tonight, if he hasn't already. All shock aside... Bryson is actually going to lose his virginity before me. I am happy for the guy.

Calvin and I didn't know what to get them for their wedding. We were at Wal-Mart buying eggnog (yep they started selling it the day after Halloween!) and I had an epiphany. No one ever buys anything for the guy. It's always, like, kitchen stuff and chick junk. So Calvin and I went over to the Hardware section and bought a shovel and a rake. At $8 a piece that fit into our limited budget perfectly.

We added a little bow around the handle of each garden tool and took it to the reception. It was just in a Ward house Cultural center. A nice modest little shin dig. There were no hot girls there. Bummer. So we grabbed a paper cup of chalky mints and bailed. Bryson looked happy... I wonder when it'll be my day and I wonder who will be taking the bow-tied shovel to who first, me or Calvin.

Jake