Friday, May 1, 2009

Supplemental - Read More:

So why the lack of posts?
-mikey and kimby

Where'd you go?


can you just write something so i can read it?
-i can haz blog post?

Ummmm.... MBP? Where are you?

I'm kind of hoping this blog has finally bit them in the ass.

Seriously now! Update!

I am dying here.

What a liar-face. Yeah, I just said it. Liar-Face.

-Candace remind me of the kid in that one book "diary of a wimpy kid" ... it's about this selfish, wimpy loser...

ConverSATING nor converSATE is a word. It's converSE or converSING

Your scripted conversations are super gay.

... the more wives you have in the CK, the better off you will be.

I love how mormons pretend they are nice, excepting people, when this post proves the exact opposite. This is the first and only post I will ever read.

(someone who's probably revisited our blog 20 times)

I hate to say it because I usually think disliking people is bad for my health, but I hope you're miserable for a while.


You should remove Mormon from the title of this blog. Respect women and respect yourself.
-bad dog

Calvin is the kind of man who will ... get divorced 2 or 3 times, probably for issues with infidelity. I don't feel sorry for you ... it's what people like you deserve.
-Waiting on a Sister Missionary

I don't know why you even bother dating ... probably because you really have nothing to offer in a relationship... except narrow mindedness and a douche attitude!

I hope you never marry so you don't get to be an abusive husband who tries to control his wife.


Maybe you should quit this stupid blog and focus on actually finding an eternal companion.

it makes me want to punch you in the face just so you'll talk like a regular person again.
-Tacey, Mormon Skank?

This blog is spinning down hill so fast. What happened to the "Mormon" part of the blog. You are making a mockery of everything sacred every chance you get.

i feel sorry for your future wife. especially on your wedding night if all you care about is satisfying yourself.
-i get it

you should marry her and then you can have a bunch of ugly hideous children together because you cursed yourself for making fun of people.


It's extremely socially incorrect (not to mention not very Christlike) to taunt or harass people because of their sexual orientation...even grade schoolers know this now.
-Pierrot Lunaire

Judge not lest ye be judged...

even if the word "conversate" were found in merriam webster's hard copy dictionary, I'd still think calvin sounded like a moron for saying it :)

Give up. You're guys' 15 minutes of fame has long passed its time.
-Another Hater a few hundred years everyone will think Jake and Calvin were literary geniuses.
-Your English Teacher

I'm glad you aren't my neighbor.


i just threw up in my mouth a little...friggen foul joke.

if you're going to quote prophets, maybe you should start acting like them and stop belittling people.
-my 2 cents

You're the worst example ever of anything important. How would you expect anyone to take you seriously???

Don't judge or generalize the LDS people and faith based off of this stupid blog.

You're like my friend Amanda, a 14 year old. You'll do and say anything to get a reaction and attention.

It's clear that you don't respect or listen to her viewpoints on anything. Why would any girl want to be with a guy who scoffs at her opinions? I certainly wouldn't.

-Pierrot Lunaire

You are just a coward and lazy. Too lazy to make things last with any other girl, too cowardly to reveal how you feel and too lazy to work at having a relationship with Claire, or anyone else for an extended period of time.
-Jake's Brokeback

It is Tuesday and the code still doesn't work. You guys are a sham.
-You're not Fooling Anyone

I would rather fork over $66 plus shipping and just buy the dress than to go through the embarrassment of letting anyone know that I read your blog.
-remaining anonymous

Also, who is your objective to entertain? Your readers? Or do you seek to entertain yourselves with other blogs and inciting inflammatory comments? You two have no shame at all.
-Masked Mad Woman

Your xiphoid process is a piece of area on your scapula (back shoulder bone) idiot! Get it right.

-Doctor PhD

you need to quit pining like a little girl and step up your game. Make a move or move on.

But I'm done reading. I am creeped out.... to say the freaking least.

Holy cow, I hope Clair drops your high school arse!

"I'm going to do this really funny bathroom joke then everyone will laugh and Shelly will start making out with me."

Where's Hondorus? Ohhh, you mean HONDURAS?? Buy yourself an Atlas, Jake...


So redheads are ugly is basically what you're saying?

You two bone heads would do well to back out of the mortgage arrangement and pay all the necessary fees.

Ummmmm.... isn't it weird that you guys are making grown men share rooms and sleep in bunk beds? Who wants to have a living situation like that in your 20's?

instead of making that stupid map of your house you should have spent that time coming up with a lease agreement or some sort of contract for your renters.
-way to go jenius

I find it interesting that even after that you find a way to completely justify your actions.


you should change your name to the Mormon Predator Pad.

maybe you forgot about her, it is pretty hard to keep up with your own fake girls that you are pretending to make out with.
-Tangled Web

It is unfortunate if girls settle for guys like this.


pretty sure this post confirmed my reasons for not wanting to read this blog anymore.

I would suggest dating 18 year olds...they're your best bet for marriage- too stupid to figure out that you won't be able to support them.
-Brit O'Connor

someone has chubby fingers.
-Miss Meaghan

Will you do an entire post about me if I send you a package proving how much I hate you?

if ... you dump her again, I will punch you in the face.

-Little Debi

I am surprised you know what adjectives/verbs are.

Jake...and Calvin are first-class derelicts for buying a house together.

This is quite disgusting to me. I'm pretty sure there is no reason someone's hand should be in another's mouth for 50 minutes.

[The name 'Gaye'] was popular in a different generation so that tells me either you are really old and just rewriting things from your youth or you are a complete liar.

Are you and Calvin lovers?


I knew you and Calvin were gay. It's why neither of you stay in relationships with Girls very long.

I should have changed the station.
-Grand Pooba

I thought blogging was for us whiny housewives only. This is... retarded...
-Kristin Coppee

I would totally poo in a pringles can.


You guys sure you are out of high school?

What you did was very childish and not far from different from supermodel... posts like this prove you're not as smart as you think you are.

This post is way stupid. Both of you are pathetic (both Calvin and Jonathan). I'm done with your blog. Peace.

oh no, you wouldn't want anyone to think you have any respect for women. that would be a bad thing!

I hope someone will break your heart someday so you know how it feels and that will make you change.

I love when truly stupid people blog. Free entertainment via the internet is highly underrated.

I have never been disgusted by this blog until now. I too wish you didn't call yourself a "Mormon". There is a lot of backwards mixed up doctrine mixed in with gross sexism.

Obviously from #4 you're a conceited bastard who cries like a little girl when he isn't the best or richest or whatever...
-Urban Legend

I'm so annoyed that a friend referred me here... whatev.

I hope you become permanently disabled so you can't get another loser job...
-Screwed Up Texan

I love the Boob Nazi. I love her anger. I love all hypocrisy.


Hahaha - you guys sound so bitter and defensive!!
-Elizabeth Downie

You deserve to be fired from that conference!

You are good, misguided boys.
-Thomas S. Monson

So unbelievably sick and disrespectful.

wellllll, no it's more of a place for [you] to brag and boost [your] egos.
-Little Black Rain Cloud

I am horrified, HORRIFIED by this post... that's the kind of story I would prefer you kept to yourself!

I don't think I will ever see depth and wisdom from this blog...

-The Lady Girl

Now, think of the wet dream you likely had with this go-go dancer in it.

Even from a non LDS stand point it sounds pretty skanky.

I vomited in my mouth a little when i read this blog.

The way you talk and think about women is so not ok.

This blog disgusts me and I won't bother to read it anymore.
-Katie BQ

This post was kinda, gay.

-sarahnichole87 much as i enjoy reading the blog, it's gonna be a little painful and sickening from now on.

I am married guys. Sorry.
-Leelou Blogs

you are both less than manly, despite what you'd like to think.

You make me sick to my stomach. You are a terrible example of our Church.

you are not ready to be an adult.

Whoa, you got a job already? That's impressive for a lazy ass.

Take a shower. Get a job. Be a MAN.

If you need someone to punch you in the face to make you feel better about your bullying, I am happy to oblige.
-Tripp Hazard

I think Lisa will be dodging a huge bullet if things don't work out between you two.

This post gave me very strange feelings. Sort of like a part of me died?

This blog made me not like you very much.


You are scum and make me sick.

either you are gay or half girl...
-just sayin'

You are so damn shallow.

You are the typical guy that I can't stand... You need to get your head out of your ass...

I don't really like you anymore...

...don't be such a prick!
-The Lady Girl

I would eat you for lunch and spit out the waste.

I wish I never would have gotten involved in the twisted, sordid minds of these testicular-driven JERKS.
-Amanda Martinez

What a douche.


aaron is a retard.

You got what you deserved...

oh my, so much man drama.

Calvin get over yourself!

I like to actually drool in a girls mouth when I'm making out on top!


You really sound like an insecure woman!

You are horrible and most certainly ugly. you are stupid and everybody who reads your blog is stupid.

You don't appear to be the type that would be overly muscular...

What a way to commemorate the birth of Christ by insulting his children!

I think even less of you now than I did.

I feel sorry for all the girls you use.


Did you and Jake spoon?
-Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM

...a Mormon Bachelor is talking about marriage.

When I get behind and have to read about mice and spit soda and farts all in one sitting it's more than my stomach can handle.

Im done...just cant follow anymore.


I hate commenting on your blog...

I almost peed.

-Molly shouldn't date.
-Busy Bee Lauren

It's interesting to see the way your mind dips right into the gutter when you get defensive. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
-Blythe Sudweeks

I hope that one day you're walking along the street, just trying to live your life the best way you know how, and a huge anvil suddenly falls from the sky to crush your little head.
-Blythe Sudweeks

Mouse murderer!


your hand is hairy.

Karma is a bitch. I hope you get yours one day.
-Anonymous (initials are probably B.S.)

I have a feeling this will blog will be coming to a close pretty dang soon...

That was kinda lame geeky Calvin!
-Lola annoy me.
-Amanda're just an average geeky guy...

...this post sucked.

-Ryan Hadlock

This blog really is like watching a horrifying train wreck...

Something is wrong with you. Maybe it's because you are from Utah.


I don't know why I keep torturing myself by coming back to this blog.

-Val Hunter

I'd like to thank this blog for singlehandedly istilling deep-seated trust issues in me, and for causing me to despair of the entire male sex.

You are a complete idiot and disgust me. How could you be so disrespectful of girls?!

Calvin... um, I'm not thinking it's cool that you wanted to make-out and then break up. That is douchey.

Wow, a Mormon Orgy. I'm fascinated and slightly disturbed.

I actually thought I was starting to like you, then I read the "ugly" part at the end and changed my mind.

I do find it interesting how you explain in detail why you shouldn't be judgmental of a person based on their skin color, but then [Jake] and Calvin sound VERY judgmental when [they] think a girl is "ugly".

Ha ha take that asshats! I got your facebook account deleted.


Calvin has demonstrated the same social awkwardness as many physics students I have met...


Intelligence is the power of God. And he just gave you a mighty boosh, ya ass hats.

The first step to be[ing] legit is to get off of blogspot.


The point is this... you hurt a friend of mine, and I will hurt you ten fold.

You're a blog about a handful of horny guys. [...] get over yourself.


I find both of your professed attitudes towards women to be deeply deeply disturbing.

I think you're a bit out of line on this one.

I'd sure as hell say no to two anonymous, uncooperative dudes with no money, too.
-Ashley Lin

"Wow. Gay."
-Nick Harward

"I'm 99.9% sure I've never gone on a date with anybody named Calvin, Jake, Aaron, Nick or Lance..."
-Mary Cook

I'm officially 'weirded-out' by your fan base.

"I found the remark about Shelly to be incredibly offensive."

-Anonymous 3:05

"Jake, you know I don't like you..."

"She is fat. Very fat."

"Hate the white on black too."

"I don't know which one of you homos commented on BBL- but that was seriously perverted!"
-Anonymous 8:49

"[Hey] Anonymous 8:49. That was me."

"I can't believe that people waste their lives reading about how you suck at yours."
-Anonymous 10:10

"Jake- sorry that no one is talking about shallow pig!"

"I really just want to meet your dad!"

"I'll send you a pregnancy test..."

"This is so lame on so many levels. I am[…] a drug addict[…]. Stop it now. […]a picnic in the park[…] will be […] barf already. […] ok I can […] start getting real."

-Nikki (edited for length and clarity)

“…you are retarded and you will never get girls by being desperate and creating stupid online blogs about your pathetic dating life.”
-Adrienne Henderson

“I HATE young 20-something Mormons like you all. You are all superficial, shallow, and INANE. […] quit acting like you live in some dumb-a$$ dinsneyland fairytale.”

"you're a cheesy spaz."

"Tell Jake he is a Douche..."

"my guess is that she wanted you to play with a lot more than just her hair..."

"I can't believe some of the comments and how people think this was a good first date... you guys are all weirdos!!!"
- Anonymous

"...i can not stand [Calvin] in anyway shape or form."

"I am trying to ... take care of this greasy dinner gas!"

"SO LAME!!! ... HUGE TOOL!!! ... soo weird! ... sounds like a good first date!!"

"You should do a poll on your blog to see how many of your readers are 14. You surprisingly found everyone on the internet lamer than you."


Anonymous said...

I can't believe my comment made the page.

Jake is a douche.

Team Calvin!


Nate said...

Is it wrong that I would love to see one of my comments on this messed up sidebar? ;-)

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Actually, Nate... lately it seems like you've been trying really hard to get there.

Nate said...

Just calling it like I see it - the same as you guys every post. I'm on your sides more often than I'm not though...

Alexis Voltaire said...

"I can't believe that people waste their lives reading about how you suck at yours."
-Anonymous 10:10

hysterical, lol.

Anonymous said...

For all the people who comment negatively on this blog, why even read it if it's so terrible?

You guys do an awesome job and you are super funny to read =]

Anonymous said...

Well, I've been critical of a few of your choices, but the more I read, the more I realize that you guys are legit. Seriously, this is how I (and most Mormon guys I know) actually think and feel at some point or another.

All the haters out there, I would like to thank you for your source of amusement.

Tedd JawnZ

Miss Fergie said...

You guys are such nerds, but flippin hilarious at the same time. You need a counter on your blog to keep track of how many hits you get a day. I got mine from
Someday yours wives will roll their eyes when they read how shallow you were. Hopefully that becomes "were" and doesn't stay are. But your blogs is very entertaining for a stay at home mormon mom who's been married for ten years.

Amanda said...

Yay my comments made it on the list!!!

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is most the girls who are posting about how they hate guys like this are most likely the girls who also fall for guys like this...


Anonymous said...

Let's face it peeps...this blog is hilarious on SO many levels. Not only does it show the male species for what they are (human and superficial, aren't we all at times?), it also shows the immaturity level of most males at this age, and for that matter, also shows the sad fact that young mormons are sometimes blinded by the ideal that marrying young is considered the ultimate goal by making them think marriage and relationships are that of fairy tales . These boys are great, they bring a refreshing look into what dating is really like, as douche bag as they are at times. They aren't perfect and don't claim to be perfect and I think it's important for young mormon girls everywhere to realize, they aren't always thinking "pure" thoughts...or so says the completely and utterly NON-mormon leaving this comment. And the girls who have chosen to be "rated," seriously??? You only have yourself to blame, because really, why does the MBP opinion matter when they won't show their own faces? Moving on...

MacKenzie said...

Can I just say that I freaking LOVE all the attention this blog is getting? Girls that are "so offended" by this blog need to let it go. But then again, the more they comment, the funnier it is. It's not like most guys haven't thought your exact thought process. They just don't tell us women. Then when we figure it out on our own, it's pretty hilarious. My favorite comment thus far is definitely the train wreck comment. I literally cringe sometimes when I read different posts. Too funny guys, keep it up! I'm praying you don't get found out because this blog is thoroughly enjoyable. Even though I am extremely curious as to who Jake is because we both went to Brighton... assuming that he really DID go to Brighton.

- MacKenzie

Anonymous said...

I love the ones that you quoted out of context.

A lot.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steven said...

I think Blythe is just bitter that her name is Blythe!! Worst name I've ever heard. Sounds like something my dog does in the back yard every morning!
Go outside and take a giant Blythe!! Good boy!

Maybe she wishes an anvil will fall out of the sky and crush HER head. You know... because her name is Blythe!

MissCianaRae said...

Ha ha ha ha. The very last one. Hate to burst your bubble but guys, I'm 14.

Steph said...

why is my comment not on this page.


yours in the gospel,


Jules AF said...

Stephanie is such a whiner.

kellie.holcomb said...

You boys cause quite the controversy. For all the negativity, you'd think people would just stop reading. I particularly love the comment, "I can't believe that people waste their lives reading about how you suck at yours." Didn't he just include himself in that statement??

The Denham Family said...

Oh my gosh. I think this blog is the best thing since string cheese and hot cheetohs and THAT is one heck of a great accomplishment! All those haters just make it so much funnier! I'm in love. . . will you all marry me? Backwards polygamy. It's worth it. :)

Annie Citrine said...

hahahaha! These crack me up! I read your whole blog in about a week and I actually really liked it. You guys are boys... and yeah, pretty much all guys are the same. But I don't really have a problem with it. You're male. So what? Everyone's horny. And if people don't think they're horny it's because they've probably never made out.. good for them. They'll get a gold star. And hey! I know the Verity from the comment above me. Holy Hannah, hi! Anywho. Keep up the good work. Get some.