Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Ratings


Several people have told us that they don't see a way that this whole rating thing could ever work out in our favor. Some have even theorized that our public ratings could backfire and result in suicides, natural disasters, and even dry ice bombs on our porch. But the bottom line is, we told everyone we'd honestly rate any girl who requested it. We've had 18 people request to be rated... publicly.

The ratings may seem harsh at first, but remember to refer to the LOS often. A girl should be flattered if she receives a rating of "LOS 6"... unless, of course, she's been under the misguided impression that she's a 9. (Note: You might be a 9 on someone else's scale, but we are bound by the criteria outlined on our own LOS and you will be rated accordingly.)

Also for all of you who did not request a public rating or any rating at all please note that the following message was sent to each girl: (-Each of us will choose a picture from your pictures available on facebook that we feel best portrays our rating of you.
-We may be extra critical or complimentary for this post. Our rating will be accurate and honest. Our comments about your appearance may come across mean, rude, heartless, shallow, superficial, or insensitive. If this is going to be a serious problem for you, cause you unnecessary stress, low self esteem, or drama, please cancel your request to be rated.) All of these girls are very cool for allowing this rating for YOUR entertainment. Clearly they do not take themselves too seriously and we suspect they all score major points on the OS. Thank you ladies, it has been a pleasure.

So without further delay, our ratings in the order the requests were received.

KATIE
age: 19 height: 5'6"
Las Vegas, NV
Single
JAKE: 6.5
Definitely above average. As I scrolled through your photos, I noticed that there weren't very many pictures where it looks like you're trying to look cute. But in the few photos where you look like you tried, you were quite attractive. You're like Rachel Leigh Cook in She's All That. I also thought you were more attractive in the pictures where you were laughing. Laugh more... for me.


CALVIN: 5
Even though I like the librarian look with your glasses, you should lose the flannel in all your pics. Delete all of of the photo's where you're wearing long sleeve, flannel shirts. I love your skin. That is all.

Percentage of accuracy: 80%









CALLIE
age: 22 height: 5'9"
Ogden, UT
Single
JAKE: 6
I like freckles. I like your whole face, and you are the perfect height. It's not that I don't like short hair, but I don't like the way your short hair frames your face. I think you're cute, but your short hair distracts me from the rest of you.


CALVIN: 7
Um... hello! This is a pretty rockin' body. It might be the angle, though. For all I know, you could be "hippy", but based on this photo and several others found on Facebook, I think you're pretty good looking. You also have several "party" pictures, which for some reason adds to your attractiveness for me. Even though it shouldn't, cause I'm Mormon and everything. But Jake is right. You should do something about that hair. Grow it out or cut it off or something.

Percentage of accuracy: 80%







ASH
age: 20 height: 5'3"
Pleasant Grove, UT
Single
CALVIN: 7
I'm not sure if "curvy" is offensive to you, but I have to say that most of your photos make you look "curvy". That's bad for some guys, but not to me. I prefer girls that won't blow away if they adjust their standing room fan to 'medium'. You might be pissed that I'm describing you as "curvy", but you shouldn't be. Don't tell your dad I said that. If we ever meet at Lagoon-a-Beach or something, I'd buy you a tube so we could ride the OutRigger together. It wouldn't be a double tube, though, cause I'd still want to tip you over.


JAKE: 5
To be honest, I started lower... just from the first few pictures. But you have a lot of pictures and the more I saw, the cuter you got. Definitely a really nice smile, but I would probably rate you higher if you were a little thinner. Your rating went up after watching your videos. Seeing you in motion was much better than the photos.

Percentage of Accuracy: 91%







Brooke
age: 18 height: 5'8"
Provo, UT
Single
JAKE: 5.5
I really like your eyes and smile and chin. I think if you lost 30 lbs it would bump you up a lot. That 30 lbs wouldn’t keep me from wanting to roll around with you, though, as you have a bit of a Kristen Stewart look to you with similar bucked teeth that I think is really cute. Generally, I’m a sucker for the brown skinned but you pull off pasty really well.


CALVIN: 5
I'm just not feeling it, Brooke. For some reason, I think that you'd be pretty awesome to get all horizontal with... probably because you have some pretty killer dance moves on the video's on Facebook. You'd be a NCMO for me... and probably one of my funner ones. Even though after my rating, I'm pretty sure I've lost any chance at a horizontal NCMO with you anyway.

Percentage of Accuracy: 91%









Shelby
age: 19 height: 5'7"
Las Vegas, NV
Single
JAKE: 7
I imagine the first time we meet you would say, “Uh Jake, my eyes are up here.” Because you would notice me staring at your neck and collar bone with fantasies of wetting them with kisses running through my head. You have a great body, please never get a boob job. If you already have one, nice job on proportions. I don’t dig the boy haircut but I barely notice it because I’m still staring at your neck. I want to rate you higher because I know you like Calvin better… but that would make me a tool. Which I am not.


CALVIN: 8
You are the one, single exception to my "curvy" preference. I've chatted with you a couple of times so I had to try really hard to separate the OS from the LOS. I think my rating is pretty honest. I like the short hair and I have no doubts that we would get along regardless of whether we're vertical or horizontal. I admit, though, that I'd probably take you to breakfast, lunch, and dinner at places that serve very fattening foods... with hopes of beefing you up a bit.

Percentage of Accuracy: 84%





Kayla
age: 19 height: 5'6"
Moses Lake, WA
Single
JAKE: 9
Kayla… will you marry me. Unless you are completely stuck on your pretty self, are fairly stupid, or have false teeth I could be very happy with you. You smoke. Nice bum… (sigh) and other stuff.


CALVIN: 8.5
Crap. I tried to rate you lower, but my fingers wouldn't let me. I really hope you're stupid or shallow or something... cause if you're cool and funny and don't have a wiener, then I think you may have it all. Except me. I'll bet you suck in the sack. At least, that's what I'm telling myself. If you were eating a Rootbeer Dum-Dum and got kinda sick of it, I'd probably finish eating it without rinsing it off or anything.

Percentage of Accuracy: 88%










Arianna
age: 19 height: 5'9"
Pearl City, HI
Single
CALVIN: 7
I like your tan skin. I like your hair. I like your bikini photos. I like your Facebook videos. You might be an 8 if you weren't waiting for a missionary. Just knowing that makes me hurt inside. If we were on a camping trip or something and you forgot your toothbrush, I would not hesitate to let you borrow mine. I'd even let you brush your teeth first.


JAKE: 7
I like your lips, and it’s true… I want to kiss them. There is nothing really unattractive about you but nothing has me just hoping you’ll take your clothes off either. Love the lips, lets kiss sometime.


Percentage of Accuracy: 90%









Britney
age: 22 height: 5'7"
Ogden, UT
Single
JAKE: 7
The first thing I said to Calvin was, “Whoa, chicks got a huge mouth!” Not a bad thing, and when you're smiling, it’s very sincere. Your hair is the perfect shade of red for me. I think redheads shy away from showing too much skin because 'white' is not cool, but you’ve got a great body. Show it. Show it to me (in a way that wont get either of us in the bishops office.)


CALVIN: 4.5
Too skinny for me. Gain about 20 or 30 pounds and then let's get together and go bowling or something. I'll even give you $10 in quarters to play that claw game that is usually so weak it won't even pick up a cottonball. You can win me a stuffed animal and then I'll show you my calves and maybe you'll be impressed enough to want to roll around for a while.

Percentage of Accuracy: 68%






Anastasia
age: 19 height: 5'6"
Layton, UT
Single
CALVIN: 7
I got dibs. You're definitely the hottest in your group of friends. Your arms are like twigs, though, and you're butt-less. C'mon. Go on a mission or something so you can gain some weight.

JAKE: 6
You are cute, and I would very much add you to my dating pool based off looks alone. Your hair is middle curly, not as cute as really curly and not as cute as wavy. You have a square face, nothing wrong with that, it just doesn’t force me to think about us spending the morning under the covers and having the opportunity to lovingly give you a “covered wagon”. I still want to, though.

Percentage of Accuracy: 88%











Stacey
age: 26 height: 5'5"
American Fork, UT
Single
JAKE: 7.5
When we make out I will definitely creepily keep my eyes open just on the off chance you occasionally open yours, because your eyes are amazing. Your face as a whole is awesome, awesome. You’re cute, buuut... would it be bad for me to ask you to hook me up with your friend Michelle Ortega? She's pretty fly!

CALVIN: 7
I probably would have rated you higher, except I stumbled across your blog post when you didn't have any make-up on. Normally, I'm a fan of the natural look, but that was not a flattering photo. It was so unflattering, I refuse to post it on our blog. If we ever get together for any length of time, I'll pay for you to get your makeup tattooed on. That said... you're still out of my league... even first thing in the morning.

Percentage of Accuracy: 72%









Letitia
age: 22 height: 5''5"
McMinnville, TN
Single
JAKE: 6
Cute cute cute, every picture I saw, I found myself thinking you are cute. You are so wholesomely average that it actually makes you extraordinary. I would happily walking around with you on my arm… or with my arms wrapped around you… or with your legs wrapped around me.


CALVIN: 6.5
I couldn't find any photo's where you're exposing more than 10% flesh. You seem to have a very attractive body shape and adorable face, but without videos of you building sandcastles in a bathing suit or something there's not really much for me to go on. I wouldn't describe you as "hot". You know what, though? If you drew a mole on your top lip somewhere, that would make you pretty hot. Mmmmmm. I'm thinking about that and I like it. A lot.

Percentage of Accuracy: 76%








Christina
age: 20 height: 5'7"
Jacksonville, FL
Married
JAKE: 4
The fact that I can find more pictures of you in a swimsuit than most girls, coupled with your asking to be rated publicly means you are confident and probably really cool. That’s not really what this rating is about though, is it? You clearly have a cute face and killer cleavage but it’s overshadowed by your weight. I know the BBW industry exists because there is demand, but I find anyone who weighs more than I do unattractive. I am a shallow shell of a human being.

CALVIN: 4
I agree with, Jake... except the part about a girl being unattractive because she weighs more than me. If that were true, 90% of women would be disqualified. I actually prefer women who I don't have to worry about snapping bones if I get kinda rough... horizontally. However, even I have my weight limit preference and you are beyond it.

Percentage of Accuracy: 50%






Samantha
age: 21 height: 5'10"
South Ogden, UT
Single
CALVIN: 7
Judging by your Facebook photos, you're quite a partier. I'm not sure why, exactly, but I always think "party" type of people are sluttier than non-partiers. So the fact that I think you're "easy" makes you a lot more attractive... and when I say "easy" I mean it in a Mormon approved, fully-clothed kind of way. I could be wrong, though. You might actually be a challenge. If so, you'd be less attractive to me cause I'm too lazy to work for it. Deep down, though, I wish you'd have been the girl to break me in right after my mission.


JAKE: 8
You have a very unique look, which is a big deal for me. Looking like every other hottie is so... dull. Your facial features are a little small, scrunched, no biggie though. I’m sure our noses will still bump when I go in for the kill. Nice stems by the way, and when I say stems, I mean legs!

Percentage of Accuracy: 80%






Kaela
age: 20 height: 5'11"
Boise, ID
Single
JAKE: 9
Tall brunettes with freckles drive me crazy - in a completely lustful and inappropriate way. Please make me a true Aggie Kayla, please? I will ride my bicycle up to Logan if I have to. The song, “It’s great to be in love” has never been sexier and I have never wanted to snog to it so badly.


CALVIN: 7.5
You're hot in a Sports Illustrated model kinda way. If I ever met you in real life, I'd think, "Wow she's hot, but way too tall." I'm comfortable dating girls who weigh more than me, but there's something about dating a girl who's taller than me that I can't seem to get past. I'm sure Freud would have something clever to say about that. It would probably have something to do with wanting to spoon with my mom... which I can't deny.

Percentage of Accuracy: 88%








Brooke
age: 24 height: 5'4"
Australia (?)
Divorced
JAKE: 9
You are beautiful and you know it. Mommy's are so sexy! I would love to walk two steps behind you somewhere very public so I could catch every guy who walks by checking you out. You might have over done it a little on the boob job. Boobs can be like jalapenos on a hamburger – sure, jalapenos are awesome, but you can’t taste all the other good stuff i.e. tomatoes, lettuce, mayo. You have so many nice features it’s a shame your boobies steal the show. Best skydiving cleavage I’ve ever seen tough.

CALVIN: 9
When someone as hot as you requests to be rated (publicly) I have to assume you know you're hot and you want everyone else to see how hot you are. The fact that you have a couple of kids makes you significantly hotter, as well. Cougarlicious. It's a little bit of a turnoff that you feel you have to rub in how hot you are via our blog, but since we're rating based strictly on the LOS your score will not change.

Percentage of Accuracy: 90%






Amanda
age: 20 height: 5'6"
Logan, UT
Single
CALVIN: 7
I like the roundness of your face. It doesn't work for a lot of people, but it does for you. Your eyes are beautiful, as well. You need more candid photos uploaded and maybe some video. My rating would be more accurate if that was the case. You seem like a feminist. Good for you, but you should at least try to pretend to let the guys wear the pants... even if they don't. Oh... and your skin looks super smooth. You probably moisturize four times daily. That's a good thing.


JAKE: 5
Amanda, you have great style, and from the very few pictures you have where you are smiling you have a great smile too. Most all your pictures are posed “modeling” pics though. You look soft (I guess we could call it dainty). I like you with the platinum hair best and a bit of a tan.


Percentage of Accuracy: 68%





Claire
age: 19 height: 5'7"
Las Vegas, NV
Single
JAKE: 7
Your eyes and smile are hard to ignore and I really like the shape of your face. I probably wouldn’t ever use the word “hot” unless I thought it would help me score a sweet snog on our doorstep scene, but you are attractive.



CALVIN: 6

I'd love to date you if we lived on a houseboat and you never ever changed out of your swimming suit. You probably always smell good, too.


Percentage of Accuracy: 75%











Megan
age: 19 height: 5'2"
Mesa, AZ
Single
CALVIN: 7.5
I'm always a sucker for women in pajamas and those full body footie PJ's sucked me in pretty well. Maybe you can put on those PJ's over the top of a t-shirt and levi's... just so I can have the opportunity to slowly unzip them with my teeth without the risk of losing my Temple Recommend. Wait... you're 18, right?


Jake: 6
Megan you are really cute and I seriously want to appropriately explore your midriff. Your smile makes me smile. You look cute in every picture and it looks like that’s without lots of make-up. You may have some FP but I can't really tell because you are young and it looks like you may need to grow into your body… still, let’s you and I “watch a movie” some night.


Percentage of Accuracy: 65%







MERRY CHRISTMAS!

-Calvin and Jake

ps.
For the sake of ease of reference, the following is an excerpt from the LOS supplemental post:

Ratings
10:
Extremely rare, almost flawless. Even Super models, centerfolds, and movie stars on their best days struggle to achieve this rating.
9: In a large group of women, she's almost always best in show. Includes: Models, Actresses, Pop stars and girls toted as "Hottest girl in..."
8: Extremely attractive. Most guys are lucky to date one or two 8's in their lifetime.
7: Very attractive. These are the hot girls most common in a guys regular environment
6: Attractive. Slightly above average. It should be noted that the majority of the worlds population is within the 5-6 range.
5: Starting to be attractive or unattractive.
4: Unattractive.
3: Ugly
2: Induces a gag reflex.
1: Not sure if these exist I've never seen one, but they would be seriously deformed, probably leprous, or some sort of half human half animal thing.

138 comments:

Busy Bee Lauren said...

Ted and I feel sad for those that were rated harshly.

But, I don't know why anyone would want to be publicly rated.

Merry Christmas, dudes!

Shelby Lou said...

bahahahahahaha i'm dying! Jake, you're hilar.. I want to know what my true scale is, for reals... can I have that emailed to me by Calvin???? (or I guess Jake wouldn't mind either... hahaha)

Umm oh yeah and there are some harsh ones on here, BUT I do want to say, that they were honest, and loving, and very nice about them all. This was funny, and hilarious... and I think I might read it 5 times just to laugh.. kthanksbyeee

whyimstillsingle said...

So entertaining. Thank you!

Alexandra said...

You're two brave (or stupid) men for bringing up weight...

It's interesting to see where I agree or disagree, from a girl's point of view. Since I'm not into girls and stuff.

Lyss said...

this was awesome! haha I found it very amusing.
Thanks!
Merry Christmas!!

Anonymous said...

You guys are pretty inappropriate. Good to know what you guys look for and how sexually driven you are so my opinion of you can become even worse. Get a life.

Kristin Lee said...

I can't believe that there were so many...and that I knew some of them haha.

But it was fun to read. Good job guys.

Julie said...

I have to say...I think you guys were completely honest. No one can fault you for that. These girls have no reason to be upset whatsoever.

Merry Christmas and thank you for the great Christmas Card.

Alexandria said...

You guys are so harsh! But I suppose that is why we all love your blog. I mean the ladies asked for it by wanting to be rated publicly! But still...

Yay! That was fun. Now you two go off and enjoy your Christmas!!

Anonymous said...

Not that you'll publish this comment now that you're moderating but I wannted to tell you how I felt.

There is a special place in he'll for you two.

What a way to commemorate the birth of Christ by insulting his children!

Ashley said...

You two have weird taste in women. I disagree with a lot of your ratings.

Matt said...

Gentlemen. You have gone where no man I know has ever gone before! You are men among men. I take back everything I have ever said about Calvin being a girl.

Great honesty, I agree with Calvins ratings a little bit more. But taste is very individual.

I am posting this on my facebook for all my guy friends to see.

Anonymous said...

I don't think you were harsh at all. In fact I think you were being kind.

Sorry girls.

Anonymous said...

I hate you.

I hate you because I hate you and I can't stop reading this retarded blog.

Tara said...

O M G ! OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, O M G!

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. All of you girls are amazing! And you're right boys, they would excel on the OS.

Christina I want to be bff's you are my hero.

Love MBP. Mwah Christmas!

Julie said...

Anonymous 9:13

A special place in "HE WiLL"? I don't think the Mormon boys are worried.

Stace said...

I thought you were very generous overall. and BTW, michelle ortega is very much off the market...sorry to disappoint, but I'll be the first (second) to admit she's a hot little number.

Katie said...

Haha... wow... im actually shocked at my rating... I was predicting much much lower!!

Thanks guys for the laugh :) I loved it!!!

Anastasia said...

haha seriously guys?! of all my 400 something pictures you used that one?! I found your comments amusing though!! And you rated me pretty much exactly what I was expecting.

Have a merry christmas boys!

Katie said...

Anonymous 9:13, there's also a special place in "he'll" for those that can't say things correctly.

Love this. I think you guys were honest, and the girls were asking for that when they asked for ratings. Though I do think you were a bit generous with some people...but props for the girls who wanted to be rated. I'm pretty sure I would cry myself to sleep if I did this. Calvin's ratings were my favorite, my cyber crush on him grew just a little more

Merry Christmas, guys!

Katie said...

Anonymous 9:13, there's also a special place in "he'll" for those that can't say things correctly.

Love this. I think you guys were honest, and the girls were asking for that when they asked for ratings. Good job not sparing any feelings. Though I do think you were a bit generous with some people...but props for the girls who wanted to be rated. I'm pretty sure I would cry myself to sleep if I got myself rated. Calvin's ratings were my favorite, my cyber crush on him grew just a little more

Merry Christmas, guys!

Little Miss Paige said...

Amen on Brooke. She is beautiful!

Little Miss Paige said...

Haha "There is a special place in hell for you two" haha I want to laugh really hard right now.

Pretty sure Mr. Get a Life Annonymous up there is my exy-poo. He should probably get a life.

Ash Att said...

this was AWESOME!!! oh my i totally loved it.

Blush said...

hahahaha I am more than jalapenos :) Im RADtastic once you get to know me. If being in a pool makeup less, wet hair and In a one piece means I am a self absorbed.... then we can say you are entitled to your own opinion :) Thanks for the laughs boys and I still plan to do a blog post about you two clowns!

Anonymous said...

Despite the fact that I wanted to punch you on behalf of these brave women after reading this post--I am glad that you at least somewhat cushioned your critique with kind words too.

I sincerely hope there is one guy out there who is more passive when it comes to hair texture, hip dimensions, and eye placement. Seriously, your thorough assessment of women is astounding. I truly feel sorry for your future trophy wife. At least your wit and humor will make the eternal journey with you more bearable.

Megan said...

How did you guys do this exactly? Because it reads like Jake rated them and the Calvin just tried to one up him by saying funny things.

No matter. You and you Christmas subjects are awesome!

Megan said...

Jake, my boyfriend says you and he have the same taste! He also verified that you guys were pretty honest.

Rissy said...

I think you guys did a great job of explaining your ratings, and honestly I think you were generous. Merry Christmas!

Broken said...

I didn't think it was possible, but I think even less of you now than I did.

And bad predictive text aside, anon 9:13 is right. There is a special place in hell reserved for you guys.

I'm done.

John said...

You guys are my new favorite. All men should take a cue from you. I am.

Scrooge-ette said...

Is it a total coincidence that if you add all of Jakes ratings it's 120.5 and if you add of all Calvins ratings it's 120.5?

Yeah I'm having a lonely Christmas morning...

Shannon said...

You girls are such an inspiration!

Calvin you are cute and funny.

Jake you are hilarious and I am in love with you.

Autumn said...

That was priceless! I loved it. I'm a tad bit worried now though. Some of my facebook pictures suck... Crap. Oh well, at least mine is privately. You guys are so honest, but have a weird taste in girls. Some of the higher ratings I thought were ugly. Some of the lower, I thought deserved higher. Jake, you're a lot different then I thought. I just might like YOU and Calvin. Yes!

Anonymous said...

SO great guys seriously, perfect laugh & so entertaining. U were completely honest yet still sweet about ur "insults" i guess u could say lol, they asked for it & they got it. Thanks for being awesome guys!! u rock ;)

Blush said...

And you are blogged :) i still love you even though you think i am stuck up

Allison said...

EEK! Ratings always freak me out- whether they're good or not. Good ones freak me out because I know I'm not that good looking, and bad ones freak me out because I feel bad... and also wonder if I would get such a low rating!

I'm gonna give a hand to these girls for allowing themselves to be rated publicly, and of course a hand for the two "hell driven" boys who were BRAVE enough to do this.

Merry Christmas! (and be GLAD that you're anonymous! :D)

JawnZ said...

A pretty amusing post. I'd just like to point out to anyone who doesn't know the obvious:

Guys taste in LOS varies. greatly. Jake and Calvin did a pretty good job of stating their own rating, and their reasons why, but (simply by the 2 pictures I've seen of a few of these girls) I would disagree.

My 3 best friends and I all never see eye to eye on LOS. We can agree "oh she's good looking", and we have a color scale that works better than numbers (because it's more broad).

Anyways, Merry Christmas. This post has almost inspired me to open up my own ratings similar to this, but I don't have the gift of being Anonymous!

Cheers,
Tedd JawnZ

Christina said...

Lol this was entertaining! I pretty much expected my rating to be a 3-4 after I saw u rated bbl a 7 :) thanks for the rating guys

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Wow. I gotta say, Christina... you continue to move up on the OS everyday. No lie.

-c

Lachele said...

haha.... I expected you boys to be a little more harsh... Maybe I will take part next time.. I think it went pretty well, so will there be a next time? haha

Mikaela said...

Man, you guys are lame. Are you rating them on looks or just plain lust? The women you gave higher ratings to were the ones you would like to "roll around" with, "get horizontal" with, or have an "NCMO" with. Um... gross. You guys were cool at first, but as your posts get dirtier my opinion of you sinks lower and lower.

CaLLie.ANN said...

---Eeek-- That was nerve-wracking and thrilling and embarrassing all at the same time. Yet, I still loved it. Ü

Nikki said...

Listen ladies...I know you all like to make fun of me because I am old and immature for reading this blog. Fair enough, but let me just tell you a secret before you all get all butt hurt by a couple of dudes who could be as ugly as elephant man rating some pretty self-absorbed chicks a bit harshly. When you get to be my age you realize men are more scared of you than your need for them to like you. It's like running into a deer when you are on a godforsaken hike. Get over your little daddy complexes and start flaunting your womanly gifts. Most women now days don't just need one man to love them, they need many men to lust after them, like a lot of the girls who frequent this blog. This gives them their self worth. I have friends who are MILF's whose sons friends in High School want to take mom to the prom and it makes mom feel good to be the object of every mans lust. In the end a man just wants a woman who makes them feel good and feeling good comes from appreciation and ego building. A little ass and crotch grab will land any man. Trust me regardless of your looks. But be careful to not turn into a fat and ugly EASY girl. Once you find the man number, it's easy to land a sorry sack of hormones even when you are a 4 or less.
And don't forget, when you are my age, it's all about me and my needs and there isn't anything a premature ejaculator can do for this old hag...HA!
But I did enjoy the post and the comments are fresh as usual...:)N

Samantha Kay said...

Utter shock.
Is what I felt when I saw my ratings.
I don't care about the other girls' although I did later read their ratings and the comments you made on them.
I only compared myself to Callie at first.
I'm pretty sure she was shocked too.
Love it though.
Thanks for having the courage guys. We've always wondered and never had anyone we thought honest enough to tell us.

Amanda said...

hahaha I'm a feminist? that made me laugh.

Arianna N. McMillan said...

Haha thanks for the rating!! Glad you like my lips :) Also, you guys were pretty nice in my rating. The only hit I took was Calvin's dislike for me waiting for a missionary. That's alright though. You guys are hilarious! Merry Christmas!

Jessica said...

All of those ladies are brave, and I hope none of them had their feelings hurt by their rating (or those who were privately rated).

You know why? WHO CARES what Mormon Bachelor Pad boys think your rating is! Do we know who these guys are? NO!

All that matters is how you feel about yourself ladies- and I sincerely hope everyone just got a good laugh out of all of this and did not take it too much to heart.

I thought every one of those girls was beautiful- but then again, I don't judge people as harshly as others. That's just me.

Merry Christmas!

Samantha Kay said...

Jessica - obviously WE care what MBP thinks because WE ASKED them to rate us.

Lorelei said...

Harsh? You guys were WAY nicer than I was expecting...and not nearly as critical about girls as I am about guys. Wow. Eyeopener.

xoxo Lorelei

Brittany said...

Where are the private ratings? I'm waiting LOL

Some Skater Dude said...

Blogging for guys has suddenly become un-homosexual. Props.

We have different taste though.

Claire- 9
Megan- 9
Stacey- 9

you're three 9's are like 7's. Just saying.

Elle said...

This post is my introduction to your blog... and I am appalled.

Change the name of this blog please. Having "Mormon" in the title is atrocious.

Alexis! said...

This was hilarious, good for you guys being honest!

Anonymous said...

You cant rate anyone until you post your own picture. Like most computer geeks your probably 4'2" and 350lbs. So lets see what you look like. (No photoshop)

Anonymous said...

Who would do this? Who would ask to have it done?

This whole thing speaks volumes for the low self esteems of everyone involved.

Anonymous said...

If your real men you wouldnt be rating girls online you would be dating them!! losers!!

Speedjacer said...

Hi, I'm Jason from Mesa, AZ. First time reader, first time commenter. Super job guys. Have you considered setting up your readers with each other? I know you're anonymous and all, but no reason the rest of us can't benefit. I would love to apply, hook me up with Megan or any other hottys from AZ.

You could do it for valentines or something. Just an idea.

Anonymous said...

Um... What's with the comment moderation? Because you are letting everything through it seems like.

Brittney said...

I want to believe that your pathitic gross losers like that gross guy on the movie "Gamer" just writing this blog from some dark room.

Then I read your posts about your dating adventures and think 'there's no way these guys are total losers because the stories they write could never be writen by someone who hasn't been with or spent major time with women'

it drives me nuts. I wish you'd get caught so I knew who you were --- but at the same time I hope you stay anonymous so I can keep being entertained.

Anonymous said...

Nikki--

What if the elephant man was good in the sack?

Just sayin. Keep an open mind, y'know.

That Chick said...

Whats her bucket's right. You guys do talk about sex a lot. In terms of rolling around and getting horizontal and whatnot.
But really, who's surprised by that? I mean, we're talking about sexually repressed 20-something mormons. Who ISN'T thinking about sex.

Personally, I like giving myself the benefit of the doubt and not asking for a rating. But thats just me.

Happy Christmas, dudes!

Sunny Tuesday said...

1. I completely forgot you guys were doing this. It's like Christmas! Except that it IS Christmas! Merry Christmas!

2. With all your warnings, I thought for sure we wouldn't see hardly any 7s or 8s, much less 9s! So...wow.

STEPHANIE said...

Very entertaining... loved the different things you pointed out. Overall great job!

*kayla* said...

Too bad Jake, I leave for Mexico in 11 days to go teach English for the semester. But thanks, glad to know my bum is appreciated ha ha.

♥,
Kayla

JessicaB said...

Question:

What does "FP" stand for in Megan's rating?

My opinion is that deep down everyone has a general idea of what their rating is... so this is just a form of validation (not that there's anything wrong with that). To me it's the same thing as a girl asking her boyfriend "does this make my butt look fat?" You already know the answer, so don't be mad when you get it.

Happy Holidays everyone :)

Nikki said...

Anonymous 5:45...If elephant man was good in the sack then yes I am open to his manly elephantness. They probably don't call him elephant man for nothing. Just sayin. I'm just saying that even your hottest 20 something year old man is overly excitable and I am not interested in that so much....oh yea, and I am married. Small detail. :)N

Bellser said...

Ha ha this post was great! Way to go girls you are all very brave and I admire the confidence you have in yourselves. Jake and Calvin I enjoy your honesty. I look forward to receiving my ratings!

Samantha Kay said...

Anon 5:11.
Pretty sure these guys probably do look a little funny. However; they've repeatedly stated this (in their own words and terms) throughout their blog.
Maybe alot of you should read their blog from the beginning...
I mean it's not like they're bragging to the world that they're the sexiest and wholiest men on earth. They're just two guys having fun... and we are the girls that are participating.
So join in or sit back and enjoy...
or just leave it be and go on with your own merry life.

stephie said...

Loved this post!! I wish everyone would realize that us girls are constantly criticizing guys yet they cant do the same? So glad you did this!!

Jessica said...

Wow "Samantha Kay" - no need to get so defensive. I wasn't insulting anyone, and in fact, if you read my comment, I said that each and every one of those girls was beautiful, even if they weren't rated very high by the MBP boys.

I was simply saying people shouldn't take what they say to heart, because it really doesn't matter in the long run.

Good grief people.

Shelby Lou said...

dear anonymous that said these girls asking for rating must have really low self esteem.

I DO NOT have low self esteem. Like everyone, I have days when I feel ugly and ridiculous but honey, I can do what I want. I am confident and brave and courageous. I don't have a problem with myself, and neither do any of the other girls (that I can see.) who asked to be publicly rated. You are ridiculous putting collective assumptions on things. Also, I think you are creepy because you are anonymous. Maybe you should stop hiding and come out of the shadows, enough about being down on yourself, you need to not be a coward.

I got so upset just now. It's CHRISTMAS! uggghh this post is HILARIOUS. SRSLY.

I'm laughing and fuming at the same time. ooo if I had a plate I would smash in on the ground in anger then yell mazeltaf (or however you spell that) to counteract the anger.

BYE. hahaha

Tiffy J. said...

dang. I really wish I had requested it right now. You guys were really nice, and I'm more curious than ever now!!

Tiffy J. said...

P.S. You rated BBL a 7? jk, I don't want to be rated. If she's a 7, I'm like a 2.

Kayla said...

Dear MBP guys, thus fair i have been a huge fan of this blog. Duh, its hilarious. Also its freakin rad to see a dude's point of view..and totally needed a lot of the time.
Props to the girls for being confident enough to be rated..and props to you guys for off setting the negative with some positive. Everyone knew you would be honest.
BUT it is Christmas..and I just have to say what has moved me to comment. I really do believe that you need to remove the name "mormon" from your blog title..just because..as President Hinkley has said..we dont wear crosses because WE as people are the symbols among our religion (among other things), but I believe this blog is not a very good thing for non member to come across..yes a lot of lds people "roll around" but it's not what we teach ya know? im just sayin...
you guys seem cool..and obvi i've read this blog..but I'm done..just something for you guys to think about

JenN said...

Um I been ready this blog since the beginning and following them on Twitter, and as I remember it Calvin rated BBL a 9 and Jake rated her an 8... BBL can you confirm? Why weren't you rated publically?

Bridger said...

Okay I've never commented a blog before. I just gave a gmail so hopefully this works.

I just want to thank you guys for this blog. A girl in my ward told me about it nearly 3 months ago. I am due to go on a mission here soon, and thought it would be interesting. Turns out its funny and awesome.

I haven't wanted to go on a mission and it's going to sound weird but this blog has helped me decide to go. I'm can't even explain how but I think it's stengtgened my testimony too.

Everyone talks about their missions and living the gospel and they're like robots. I hate it and it make me resent my church sometimes and makes me think they just want to get me to go so they can feel good about themselves. I just graduated high school this year and honestly I decided 6 months ago I wasn't going on a mission.

While following you guys along it makes me think I can be normal and love the lord. I don't have to be some robotic general authority clone. I can be myself and people will love me for it. That's what MBP teaches me. I don't have to be perfect to follow the lord, I need yo do my best. Anyone who can't see that needs to stop dwelling on the bad and read this blog with all the good in it. If Jake and Calvin can do it, so can I!

I know no one will believe me but I don't care. I have actually grown more in the spirit by reading this blog. It was the final boost I needed and now I'm going on a mission, I turned my papers in last week.

Thanks guys. I think you are awesome. I think you should keep Mormon in your name and ignore the three people who don't like you. Your great examples and I hope one day we'll be friends.

I'm not gay, I promise... but what's the harm in a little bromance. Jake I never had an older brother, but I imagine he'd be like you if I did. Calvin you are the funniest guy ever. Keep up the good work.

Nyssa said...

I didn't realize guys were so judgmental, or so lustful. Or it might just be you two, who knows. I'm just glad I didn't get publicly rated

Buggsby said...

I agree with Anastasia… those are not the pictures I would have chosen of myself ;o) but I that is why I friended you and allowed you to rate me publicly.
As far as exposing flesh goes… most of my pictures are from church activities, I don’t usually have a camera on me in more casual settings ;o) though I could have sworn there were swimsuit pics of me on facebook… hmmm…. I’ll try and remember to get a few of those once the weather warms up again ;o)

To the snotty anonymous’…. Seriously???? If we wanted to be rated publicly that is our business, if it bothers you STOP READING THE BLOG!!!! If you think your pathetic outcries are doing any good think again. We all know you think “calvin” and “jake” are going to hell, thanks, and now shut up.

I can’t speak for the other girls, but I really couldn’t have cared less what these guys rated me. I have absolutely no self confidence issues, I did this for kicks. Props to all the others who were rated publicly, I think you’re all cool just for sticking your necks out there!

Merry Christmas to everyone, ;o) and thanks again guys for doing this.

Haley said...

hahahahaha wow this was really entertaining! and very interesting to see where your taste in girls differed.
and I really appreciated, the weight comments. way to go there- on both ends of the spectrum. whether it was too twiggy or too curvy. you were being honest. thanks.

Kellie said...

I'm glad you guys rated honestly.. even if it meant hurting some of them.
And Kayla.. I'm not LDS and all I think it does is show that y'all aren't perfect like what tends to come across. You know how intimidating it is to speak to the missionaries about all the things you are and aren't supposed to do..then think of how many of those 'aren't' things that I've already done?
It's just nice to know that you guys are human too. Seriously.

Amanda said...

I did this to see what some shallow guys' perception of me might be, quite hilarious actually. For one thing, I am glad I wasn't objectified like most of the other girls (and slightly surprised too) another thing, the fact that I seem like a feminist just shows how insecure you guys really are.

On another note, I agree with the people who think "Mormon" should be taken out of the title, it's kind of like the guy who made a calendar of shirtless missionaries. You guys don't represent the church accurately, in fact, you make it look bad and disgrace all of the standards making it seem like a trivial matter and that the consequences are little to none.

KatOfDiamonds said...

Dear anon who said these girls have low self esteem,
Get over yourself. I think they are brave for putting themselves out there like they did.

I didn't ask to be rated, at all. I know about where I'd fall on the LOS scale and I know where I'd fall on the LOS scale without 10-30 of weight (depending on if you are Calvin or Jake, heh)... But to go out and rag on SOMEONE ELSE'S PERSONAL DECISION. Shame. On. You.


Jake and Calvin,
You still smell good. *takes a big whiff of Xmas card* Rock on sir(s).

Hope your Xmas was Merry!

Declarations of a Drama Diva said...

Publically rated? Wooo...you girls all have guts. Kudos to you all!

Don't let what they said get you down... and for other girls... don't get stuck on yourself.

There are many things that make people unattractive... but being stuck on your self or smelling bad (breath... body odor).... THESE ARE AMONG THE WORST.

ha ha.

I can't believe you Calvin and Jake.....

Amy said...

ROFL at this post!!!<----my hubs and I. He says according to your scale I'm a 7.5. I MAY have encouraged him to bump it up that last half a percentage. ;) Your self-deprecation is endearing. Love you guys!

Busy Bee Lauren said...

To the person requesting my confirmation...

Their rating of me wasn't public. They sent it to me. I would have been so so so embarrassed if my picture was up here and scrutinized.

But all of those girls are beautiful, and braver than I.

Anonymous said...

You guys are assholes. That's all.

Ashley Lois said...

spooning with your mom... *shudder*

Anonymous said...

All the girls that love this blog are obviously utah mormons. this is the reason so many people hate you utah, and think mormons are weird.

what a guy really notices whether hair is a little curly, or wavy curly. i mean seriously...

by the way, it is not cute or funny in any way, to say something sex related,then comment on what it would do to your temple recommend or what your bishop would say.

basically my point is, is that this isn't the general idea of boys every where. and if you think it is funny then you are obviously an efy/ysa loving mormon.

if you want a better idea of what guys think then read something like this
http://menexplained.com/the-list/

oh and i know, i shouldn't even post this, because it is excatly what you guys want. but whatever, love it, i don't care either way.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe this nonsense. To be honest you guys are jerks! Who cares if a women has some curves, that does not make them ugly. It's pigs like you who lower womens self esteem. Just because you don't find them beautiful doesn't mean they aren't. I knew I disliked Mormon freaks for a reason. Grow some balls and post your pics up for readers to rate pussies.

Little Miss Paige said...

Kayla, you are from Moses Lake?! I am from Wenatchee!!

XOX

Anonymous said...

You guys have weird taste in girls..Now I kinda want to be rated, not publicly though. Let me know what you can do.
-B

Buggsby said...

anon @ 12:44 I am in no way a UTAH mormon, never lived there, and, no offense to utah, don't ever particularly want to, I like the south just fine. So that kinda blows your theory doesn't it?

and while I am not a guy, and thus cannot speak fully to what they do/do not notice, I have 4 brothers, and lots of guy friends (mormon and non) and I can say that most if not all guys that I have heard talking about girls notice hair, to the extreme at times.

colleenroselle said...

awesome.




Honestly I don't know why the haters even post a comment, obviously they love reading otherwise they wouldn't be wasting their time.

Anonymous said...

You make me sick. I hope you die. I can't believe you guys call yourselves Mormon. You are EVERYTHING I hate about Utah Mormon boys that just "date," horizontally or vertically. Get some standards and show your bishop this blog and then we'll see if you still have your temple recommend. I would never want to have my picture rated only because I would be so embarrassed to have ANYONE read the dirty crap you'd say. I feel bad for the girls you walk past in the store, not knowing that you are judging their body in the most derogatory way. It's despicable, you are itemizing one of God's greatest creations. I bet your mother would be ashamed of you. Especially if you're trying to spoon her.




PS. Are you really Joel Shepherd from BYU? If not, you guys should be friends.

Jenny Cawley said...

wow...some girls gotta caaaaalm...dooooowwwn. I found it entertaining. i also found that you publicly rated a few girls i went to HS with and some i know from college...small world i guess. funny stuff guys, and i agree... you were maybe overly kind in(some of)your ratings. also... girls, you gotta realize. this IS boys. this is just how boys are. most of my friends are boys, and i have only brothers (most mormon). sorry girls even MORMON *gasp* boys are just a little horny and shallow (even if it's locked deep deep down) but honestly, aren't we all? you guys are too funny. keep it up! ;)

Fish Nat!on said...

This is embarrassing. I can not fathom what sort of a moronic girls would subject themselves to be "judged" by 2 anonymous dudes on a public scale. Have some dignity for goodness sakes.

And it really is shit like this that makes Mormons look like idiots. This blog is everything that I hate in a kitschy mormon blog. Although, perhaps this is completely ironic, and you guys aren't the supreme douches that are personified anonymously here. In that case, I suppose it is sort of funny, because A. you are pissing off a lot of idiots, and 2. you are simply highlighting everything that is wrong with douche bags (whether feigned or real) like you, and the moronic girls who date them, i.e. the sort of imbecile that would want to be numerically judged.

In that case, cool irony guys. But I am thinking my first perception was probably more accurate. As this is my first stumble across this blog, it is hard to know.

Kimkidoni said...

I just want to be the hundredth comment. I thought this was funny. Still slightly sad though.

amy j. said...

Ohhhh geez, some of these people need to just pop a pill & calm themselves down. I find it humorous that Anon 6:39 just wished you would die & then went on to say why you're such bad Mormons. Uhhh, if I had to guestimate, I'd say wishing someone's death is worse than judging someone's appearance. I mean I'm not the prophet so don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure it's in the bible somewhere.

I think one of the worst things
about the church is that everyone takes themselves so freakin seriously. You guys give me hope. I used to think RMs were afraid of girls & totally boring but now I realize that there's a wild side in (hopefully) all of them. I just hope that what you say is true & that most Mormon guys ARE like you.

p.s. to all of you naive girls: THIS IS THE WAY GUYS THINK. Just because this is the first time you're hearing it doesn't mean they're the only ones. Soooo, ya. That is all.

Anonymous said...

No this isn't how most boys think, this is a certain category of boys. If you asked two guys bachelors living in Manhattan their opinion, then you would get a completely different blog. Or some black guys. Not to mention, for all the girls that say boys do think this way, first how do you know. And second pick up an issue of cosmopolitan magazine and read the section from a guys point of view. I also find it funny that they are always referred to as boys, yeah they do think like 12 yr olds.

Amber said...

This is hilarious...do you rate married women?

Ben said...

The people who hate you must note read the rest of your blog. Love you bretheren:

DISCLAIMER: Please read all warnings and instructions before use. Confessions from a Mormon Bachelor Pad (MBP) can not be held liable for any misuse or misunderstanding of the instructions on this rating system. Must be 18 years of age or older to be rated by MBP. MBP is held harmless if you provide fraudulent evidence that you are older than 17. Regardless of your rating you will probably be unhappy with it and feel self-conscious. MBP further makes no warranties that using this system will make you better looking or raise your self esteem. Using this system will in no way make you thinner, curvier, have tighter skin, a clearer complexion, fuller hair, bigger lips, more defined abs, or fill out your bra. MBP cannot be held responsible for years of psychiatric treatment that may be required after using this rating system or being rated by this rating system. It is recommended that readers not operate a motor vehicle or heavy machinery for an hour after being rated by MBP. Nursing mothers, women who are pregnant or may become pregnant are warned that being rated by MBP may result in fetal injury, premature birth and low birth weight even though Jake finds pregnant women extremely attractive and it may boost an individuals rating. MBP expressly disclaims all liability for treatment, diagnosis, decisions and actions taken or not taken in reliance upon information contained in this Website. If you take any rating given by us seriously, you are an idiot.

Blazzer said...

It's too bad that the majority of your readers are women... women can be so dumb and catty and judgmental based off of the smallest detail.

I love this blog and it frustrates me that these guys never defend themselves, however if you read their blog they pretty much explain everything they are being attacked for. I have copied some of these from their rating posts, you should take note of before you continue to make a fool of yourselves.

“Remember, this was NOT our idea, it was YOURS. However, we feel capable of giving our honest opinion, so we are willing to accommodate you, our readers requests.”

"MBP places far more weight on the OS than they do on the LOS. Hence the reason courtship is so important. The LOS is simply a starting point."

"Each individual judge can simply create their own rules when rating someone. What one person rates a 9, his very best friend can rate a 3."

"The opinion of what is or is not attractive is unique to each individual."

Long Live the Mormon Bachelor Pad!

-Blazzer

Blazzer said...

Also, I wonder if those Mormon's who call others "Utah Mormons" in a condescending way realize how utterly identical and hypocritical that is to what they are condemning.

These guys are great examples of Mormon's, and I believe that they should keep the title in their blog. I think people who hate them purposely ignore their testimonies, their uplifting posts and when they talk about following the Lord despite their desires. The comment by Bridger is evidence of that.

Finally, all men do think like this. Black men, and men from Manhattan would perhaps point out different likes and dislikes, but they still rate women, we do it here in England too. We are instinctively driven by appearance. As MBP pointed out themselves, attractiveness is individual. Even these two best friends had great differences of opinion.

Jake stopped dating an 8 to date a 6, and is now contemplating marriage with that 6. Obviously he understands that looks are not the only thing that is important. At least I think it's obvious...

Get over your sanctimonious platitudes. Stop doing the very thing you are condemning, by judging the entire blog based off this one post. A post which is admittedly jovial and fun.

-Blazzer

Maggles said...

What is FP in Megan's rating? Anyone? Please?

whyimstillsingle said...

FP = Fat Potential

Hailey said...

First of all you don't allow other women to "rate" you so there is already an unequal balance. I can understand that some women would want to be rated because they are curious and they hope to boost their self confidence or just find out what someone is really thinking but might not say to their face.

The problem isn't that you are being honest; it's that you are acting shallow, judgmental and vapid. You want us women to cut you slack and understand that you are "just men" and you can't help it. I don't buy that and these other women shouldn't either. You are not excused from using tact and common decency.

Come on, be fair. Let us women "rate" you and then we will see how great of an idea this really is. We'll see if you can take the honesty.

Hailey said...

Another thing, Mormons claim to be Christians. I do believe that is true but in your particular instance I don't believe you men (boys) exemplify this. I have recently read a great book and it completely goes against your church's view of women.

Here is a synopsis:
"God has always loved women. Then, Jesus showed it. He chose to reveal the most profound information only to women as we read in the Gospels. He chose only women to be the first witnesses to His Resurrection. You will be surprised to find out how extremely valuable Mary Magdalene was. Jesus was a feminist who did more for women than we have been taught."

Tell me, do you exemplify that? If this is something Mormons believe then you boys are 'Jack Mormons' at the very best. Any self-respecting woman would not date/marry a man who objectifies her.

Ryan Hadlock said...

The best part of this blog is the comments. People have nothing better to do with their lives than lambast these guys for a BLOG that is entertainment! If you don't like it, don't read it.

NOTHING these guys do on the blog would cause them to get their temple recommends pulled - to insinuate otherwise is ridiculous.

They are also not objectifying women! #1) The girls that were rated ASKED to be rated. Get your panties out of their bunch and realize they WANTED to be rated. #2) HOW do you detracting ladies/gentlemen suppose attraction happens? It is VERY much physical at first, and then people with brains look for the other more important things. #3) what exactly is wrong with 22-year old guys (and girls) dating around? They're just supposed to marry the first person that comes along? How much higher would the divorce rate in the church be if everyone did that? Pull the stick out of your butt and enjoy the entertainment value of the blog or move along to your quilting blog and get your entertainment there, it's ALL good!!!

Calvin and Jake, I think you were kind with the ratings, and I think they were appropriate. Nice work.

artsyesque said...

I just left this big ol' comment and then lost it. Grr... Snaps to you, Calvin and Jake!! Super fun post!! I am a big chicken-butt so I am one of the ones who asked to be rated privately. I know that being pregnant for like 3 years (My 3rd baby is due in March and the others are 1 & 2 yrs old.)has resulted in about 75% of my pictures being of the fat, haggard me, but this was fun. :) Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, boys!!!

Anonymous said...

the whole point about utah mormons, does not have anything to do with how good or bad they are. It has to do with the fact that they are dorks, nerds, etc etc whatever you want to call it. They think they are funny, but they just arent at all. It is not that they even rate girls, hearing boys rating girls is definitely not a new thing. It is just the dorkiness of it.

Fish Nat!on said...

ugh, here we go with the "utah mormons are all dorks" garbage. Mormons everywhere are dorks. Mormons everywhere are hip and cool. Mormons everywhere are pretentious, self righteous assholes. Mormons everywhere are amazing, christ-like people. Mormons are multifaceted here, just like they are everywhere else. There just happens to be a higher concentration of them, so it is easier to pick out the obnoxious qualities en masse. The fact is, I know plenty of cool people from utah, and plenty of tools. Take a look at a collar popping california pooka shell bro mormon, and tell me that guy isn't a tool. Being from another state doesn't immediately disqualify one from being a massive idiot. Sure, some mormons from out of state might be more likely to, say, be tolerant of homosexuals. But for heaven sakes I'm a home grown utah morm, and I don't think gay marriage is going to prematurely cause the rapture and destroy my hypothetical future marriage in a great ball of burning gay fury.
My point, i suppose, is lay off the "utah mormons suck" rag. It gets just as old as all of the crap for which we are accused. Let's just face it. Most mormons are dorks, and you are probably living in denial if you think you aren't.

And i most CERTAINLY have nothing better to do right now.

Carmen San Diego said...

Sneaky, sneaky boys! You're moderating your comments now so this one probably won't make it through...

I just wanted you to know that I'm coming for you.

Vickie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vickie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vickie said...

sorry i keep deleting my comment! i keep noticing errors

JawnZ I want to know more about your color scale! Sounds interesting!

Ok to the people that keep saying things like "you're so lustful" "i didn't know guys were so judgemental" blahblahblah... Do you not have guy friends? Haven't you ever heard the expression "boys only want one thing..." They boys in magazines just want to look good in front of the millions of girls that read the magazine. And if you think THEY are lustful and judgemental, you are in for a rude awakening. And WHY are people freaking out about them having mormon in the blog name, atleast the lustful day dreams they have all include the girls fully clothed! Jake and Calvin are mormon guys, they aren't DEAD! You crazy people act as if these feelings among mormons aren't allowed. News flash, they are. Atleast they aren't talking about actually fornicating with them. I've heard worse.

Joni and Rico Adams said...

I have a great idea for the next segment on your blog... how about you guys actually show photos of yourself and let all of your readers rate you! Come on, if it's all in good fun then you have nothing to lose right?

Rissy said...

are you guys going to do this again?? I bet you'd get a lot more girls willing to be publicly rated.

brie said...

I'm late, I'm late, but will you publicly rate me? Search me on Facebook - I'm the only Brie Breivik on it. :)

Come on, Cal. You know me. You like me. So what if I'm a titch late? It's been a rough month!

Anonymous said...

I didn't know imagining doing things with them was part of the rating

It would be nice if you actually acted Mormon
-N

Adam said...

I'd love to buy you two lunch. e-mail me if you are interested. crate.o.paper.3113@gmail.com

Anonymous said...

People just need to relax. I had no idea that all guys really do think this way until I was married. Trust me, they do. I do not think that what jake and calvin are saying is inappropriate. It's funny. I also see nothing wrong with having "mormon" in the title. I have always been a strong active member of the church. Both my husband and I served a mission and were married in the temple. We have served in major callings in the church (including as a counselor in the bishopric). The reality is that this is the way guys think, and jake and calvin are cool mormon guys and totally normal.

Cindy said...

I LOVED this post. You weren't mean at all... it was just... HONEST. This made me want to be rated just for the shear laughter it would bring to my day! THANKS guys!!!!

Lachele said...

Ok, lets get one thing straight... I'm pretty sure that the Church is TRUE, and the members might not always LIVE up to the way they should.(pretty sure everyone who commented has done something or another to "disgrace" the LDS title--those commenters who said mormon should be taken outta the title-- they just don't air their dirty laundry or get caught. HA!

This is the way guys are... most don't like fat girls. That's life. Get over it. Or lose weight. WOW that was rude! Some guys actually like the "sweet spirits" but those guys are few and far betweeen.

I'm pretty sure it's the same "anon"/crazies that comment on EVERY post...and say things like they think MBP are tools, yet their still reading. What does that really say about them? hmmmm

Anonymous said...

"It would probably have something to do with wanting to spoon with my mom... which I can't deny"

enough said.

Anonymous said...

^^and don't mistake that as a compliment.

kelzone said...

you guys need to change the title of your blog...you're giving the rest of us (mormons) a really bad name.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I just read this together. It was our first experience with this blog. We plead with you to take the "Mormon" out of the title of the blog. You could do some real damage with this. WWJB? Probably not this.

Natalie said...

I want to be rated. :) haha. and I think you're guys way of rating is pretty good. I didn't agree with everything but most of it, I think, was pretty accurate. But I do agree with some in maybe changing the title of your blog....? just sayin. :)
I do love reading you're blog though, its the perfect distraction from my homework.

Amanda said...

yeah I will tell you how I really feel, going along with what the girl said above me, I don't really agree with all the ratings. I'm not conceited, but I know I am at least an 8 on the LOS (losers who objectify sweethearts)

Hayley Jo Reese said...

Jake has a REALLY weird taste in girls! I am surprised.

Bailey said...

I felt bad for these girls but I think it's cool that you were honest about it.
I mean, heck, I would probably be willing to be publicly rated, but I think I can deduce what I will get: A big ole "hippy" 4.
It's cool because I totally and whole heartedly accept that 4.

~aMy~ said...

Dude! i wanna be ranked! how do i go about that? i dont even care if its public...

abby said...

I thought you rated those girls terribly. Almost everyone of them was unattractive but 2 who you got right but really? that was too nice. I think you guys should be rated though because i highly doubt you would get anything above a 4

Lady Libertine said...

abby, I don't know who you are but really? I want to know how attractive you are, you have no right calling me ugly when I bet you are ugly.

Anonymous said...

So I just started reading your blog this morning, stumbled upon it and read almost all of it. I can't decide what I think of you guys, considering I probably know a few of you.
BUT.
Props. I think you're studs for being honest with these girls. Truthfully, I thought at the beginning of this that I'd be rated on the low end of the scale, if I'd been brave enough or reading this at Christmas time. But. At the end, I think maybe I would have been a little higher than originally thought. Because, you guys take into consideration, things that actually kinda matter to guys. NOT on the OS of course. After that's taken into account, the LOS means less, like you explained, and I think all the girls who say your hoebags for rating girls on looks are naive and stupid. Guys are created to care about the physical first. Once the personality comes in, then things change, but seriously?!
Okay. End of rant.
And thanks for the last final kick in the butt for me to lose 10 pounds. Not only because I want the average joe to find me attractive. But because I'm doing it for myself.... right?! ;)

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Haylee said...

This blog keeps me entertained during Sunday School. ha you guys are great.