I felt like total crap all day yesterday. I'm pretty sure I figured out why. We had a pretty sweet gathering late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. There were a lot of people over. When that happens, we usually bust out a cooler filled with ice and then dump in a few sixers so people can choose what they want to drink. (I know "sixer" is a term used to describe a six-pack of beer, but when I say it, I mean Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, and if we're really living on the edge, Mountain Dew Voltage with a blast of raspberry.)
When I woke up yesterday morning, I started walking around the house and I noticed cans of soda all over the place. Next to the couch, on top of the upstairs TV, on the counter, by the sink, etc. I hate to see half consumed cans of my favorite beverages, so I did what Jake and I usually do... only this time, Jake wasn't around so it was all up to me. As I lounged around the house all day, I would randomly grab one of the abandoned sodas and finish it off. Well, it took me most of the day, but I drank them all. Every last one. I decided that somebody must have been sick or something, cause I felt like crap all day Tuesday and a little dodgy this morning. The only other thing I can think of, is maybe an apostate dropped by when nobody was paying attention and used one of the cans of soda to spit his tobacco chew into. I guzzled a few of them pretty quickly so it's entirely possible I drank someones tobacco spit without realizing it. If I did... I hope it was a hot cowgirls chew spit. It's still gross and everything, but for some reason, it's slightly less gross if I think of it being a hot cowgirls slimy mouth juice. And I think I'd also be able to add her to my list of girls I've snogged. (Clam up. I'd count it.)
I fought through my nauseousness and called Marie last night. I figured out a way to hopefully win back her affection without embarrassing myself too badly. I thought about texting her to reconnect, but every time Jake and I ran through possible back-and-forth text scenarios, I was never happy with where it ended up. It could have just been Jake trying to be difficult, but I feel like I do so much better "in person"... and by "in person", I mean over the phone... like, actual voice conversation. Not "face to face", necessarily.
This is how our conversation went (it's hard to convincingly type 'stuttering' so try to imagine me stuttering a little bit throughout the conversation. I've found in situations like this, it's best to come across as nervous and slightly unsure):
Calvin: Hi, this is Calvin Lynn Marler. Does your name start with M, A?
M: Yes, it does. (short pause) Who is this again?
C: Calvin Lynn Marler. I'm sorry, M-A. I feel kind of stupid. I was deleting a bunch of phone numbers out of my phone last night and I saw your phone number saved under the name "Really Hot Movie Theatre Girl Ma-" and then it cut off. I think my phone only holds a certain number of characters or something so I only was able to get the first two letters of your name. I didn't realize it until now.
M: And it was my phone number?
C: Yeah. I almost deleted it, but it does say, "really hot" and I couldn't bring myself to delete it without calling first just to see if you were married, or had a boyfriend, or pregnant or something.
M: Is this the guy who asked me for my phone number, like, two months ago in the movie theatre?
C: Yes it is. And if you decide to give me another chance, can you also remind me of your first name cause all I've got is M-A?
I was worried that she wasn't laughing at all through this conversation. But then, after that last line, she started laughing pretty hard and I realized she had taken my bait. Hook, line and sinker. She pretended to remember my name from two months ago and I didn't argue with her... but I DID say my own name twice at the beginning of our conversation. I think she's already trying to play games. Amateur.
I told her I'd call her on Friday to confirm the details for our Saturday date. She told me she still lives at home. What the crap? I'm almost 22 and I still have to meet the parents of girls I date? I seriously need to meet some Cougars who have careers and can support me and my lavish lifestyle of Mt. Dew, Arby's Market Fresh sandwiches and Entertainment Weekly subscriptions.