Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Beauty and the Ball-less

I'm not the ballsiest person in the world. In fact, I'm pretty much the complete opposite of ballsy. I think I've asked a girl for her phone number twice in my whole entire life... and I can't really remember the first one. Maybe it was too traumatic or something.

If girls come to my house, I'm more confident. I have a reason to walk up to them and introduce myself. I can say, "Hey, I'm Calvin. I'm one of the guys who lives here. Are you in our ward? Who are you here with?" or something of that nature. I never walk up to girls in ANY other situation and introduce myself like that. Never. I don't dare. I honestly fear rejection that much. The only thing I fear more is confrontation... of the feminine kind.

So all of the roommates went to see Zombieland on Monday night. We'd been talking about seeing it for a while, and finally decided to skip FHE and go see it as a big group of manly men. We got to the theatre about 45 minutes early because Jake was sure he knew when it started, but he was way off. They were cleaning the theatre when we got there, but we were able to get in and get our seats about 35 minutes before the movie started.

After sitting there for about 5 minutes, I decided I was going to get a really gay-sounding and gay-looking Movie Meal. You know... those kids sized boxes with a two-swallow drink, a handful of popcorn and a bite-sized Airhead for $5? Well, as I'm walking out of the theatre I pass a group of girls who are on their way in to see Zombieland. They're all pretty cute, but I notice one girl with dark hair (Brunette) who appears to really be checking me out. To be honest, her friends might have been cuter, but I didn't notice any of them because it was THIS girl who appeared to be interested. After I passed her, I decided to do one last over-the-shoulder glance just to check out her butt as best I could in a dimly lit theatre. Instead of checking out her butt, I totally catch her looking over her shoulder at me. Busted.

While I'm out in the lobby buying my cozy little personal snack, I start to get nervous. I realize I'm going to be walking back into the theatre and will probably see Brunette again. Will I pretend I'm not looking for her? Should I obviously look for her and then smile when I finally see her... assuming she's also looking for me? I don't know. But what I DID know is that I suddenly didn't want my Movie Meal anymore.

When I got into the theatre I noticed that Brunette was sitting with her friends two rows in front of my roommates. She and I make eye contact again and then she looks at her friends. As I approach my roommates, I notice them all looking down at the girls and then back up at me. As I sit down and rest my morsels of deliciousness on my lap, I hear the girls busting up laughing and trying to sneakily peek over their shoulders at us. My ego deflates slightly as I realized Brunette was probably more interested in Lance or Aaron or Nick or something. Then Jake leaned over and whispered "While you were gone, that brunette was telling her roommates how sexy you were."

Brunette had no idea that she was sitting in front of my friends. She must have thought I was there with a date or another group of friends sitting elsewhere in the theatre. I wish I could tell you that I was excited. I'm sure there WAS excitement mixed in there somewhere in the middle of my dominant emotion... which was petrifiedness.

The whole movie, Brunette kept turning around to look at me. Without fail, as soon as she looked back at the screen, either Jake on my left or Lance on my right would tell me that I absolutely must get her phone number after the movie. I wasn't really able to pay much attention to the movie. It really kind of blew cause it looked like everyone else was enjoying it.

After the movie ended and credits started to roll, the pressure started to build. All of my roommates were telling me to just go down and talk to her. I was stalling on purpose, but I sincerely wanted to experiment a little bit outside my comfort zone.

Just then, all of the girls stood up and started to walk out. Jake pretty much yanked me out of my chair. I shook him off and said something like, "I need to do this on my own guys. " I took three deep breaths as I watched them round the corner and start walking down that ramp toward the theatre exit.

I walked quickly behind them, but as I got closer I realized how embarrassing it was going to be to initiate a conversation with Brunette while all of her friends were standing there listening. I wasn't able to catch them until we were out in the hall across from the restrooms. I cleared my throat when I was about 8 feet or so behind them. One of the blond girls turned around and saw me. I smiled. She tapped Brunette on the shoulder who then turned and saw me smiling. Then, just like in the movies, the other girls kept walking while Brunette stopped to wait for me. It was like poetry. This is what I said, as closely as I can remember, "I've never done this before and I'm sure that sounds lame, but my friends could tell I was checking you out and it appeared to them that maybe you were looking at me as well. Well, really I decided that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you walk out of here without me talking to you and maybe getting your phone number or something so we can hang out or go on a date sometime." Brunette smiled and said, "Of course." She reached into her bag and got a pen and wrote her number on her movie stub. I said, "Thank you so much. This is awesome. Sorry it took me so long." I started to turn but then she said, "Who are you going to ask for?" I said, "What?" Then she said again, "When you call that number, who are you going to ask for?" I realized that I hadn't even asked her name or told her my own. "I'm so sorry. I'm Calvin." I stuck out my hand like a freakin' missionary. "I'm Marie. Talk to you soon." Then she turned and walked away.

I heard someone say, "Nice!". I turned around and saw all of my roommates standing just outside the theatre door like a bunch of idiots. But I got her number.

Calvin

41 comments:

Scott said...

Well done Calvin! Way to conquer those fears, get out of your comfort zone, etc. Cant wait to hear how this turns out.



(No comment on the rating of the movie. Even though I am totally judging you all in my head right now.)

Busy Bee Lauren said...

Calvin...YOU RULE!

I have never had anyone ask for my number before. I thought it was like urban legend or something...

Kait said...

Wow, that's kind of adorable. Congratulations!

kelleidoscope said...

Aw :) it's a step in the right direction!

Stevi said...

Nice work!! That would be a difficult thing to do. Good thing I am a girl and not the kind that asks guys for their number, then I don't have to worry about this.

Bekah said...

i love this story! i can't wait to hear about your first date and the probable making out you will perform

Alexandra said...

Hahaha, that's awesome! I bet you made her night. And even if nothing comes of it, you both have something to look back on and laugh/smile about.

Chloe said...

way to go Calvin! i am so proud of you!

Nalvy07 said...

Good Job there Calvin.

oh and btw Zombieland is pretty much amazing!

Anonymous said...

Way to go Calvin! Girls love it when the guy takes initiative. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story. Maybe some more Mormon guys will take the same chance!

Autumn said...

Atta kid! I'm proud of you!

That Chick said...

definitely attractive when a guy takes initiative. bien hecho, good job.

lifechick said...

So what if you don't get suave points this time around? You accomplished the objective - you got the digits! Nicely done.

Nichola said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nichola said...

Well Done Calvin! :)

Amy said...

Ooooooo....smooth... VERY smooth. That was very ballsy of you Calvin. I'm so proud of you *teardrop*. Haha. Ok wow, teardrop thing was kinda extreme, but I would like to give you a high five for this one! :)

jaime said...

"The movie kinda blew"?!?!?! That movie was legendary!! Your gay.

Calvin said...

You misquoted me, Jaime. Let me help you:

"I wasn't really able to pay much attention to the movie. It really kind of blew cause it looked like everyone else was enjoying it."

Translation: The movie didn't blow. The fact that I couldn't concentrate on the awesomeness of the movie BLEW.

Blazzer said...

Calvin,

I love this post. I'm certain that me and many other men have been where you were. I most notably related when you talked about losing your appetite and not being able to watch a movie that everyone else was clearly enjoying. It gets easier after this one matey.

I wouldn't have pegged you for the fearful type, had I had to guess I'd have figured Jake to be more of a nervous nelly when talking to girls than you.

Guess I don't know you guys as well as you thought.

-Blazzer

PS - ignore Jaime, she obiously doesn't know how to read, or she doesn't understand context, Zombieland was terrific you should go see it again when you can pay attention to it.

Ryan Hadlock said...

The best part of this post, hopefully, is that you learned something pretty valuable here. There is ZERO need to be afraid of girls, EVER (unless they're wielding a knife or other life-taking weapon, or know Kung Fu).

Confidence is the sexiest attribute in a guy for A LOT of women (if not all, though I hear some like a strong testimony or something...) So, confidently asking a girl for her number, but not being an arrogant ass (fine line by the way) will get you that number a LOT of the time. Keep it up!

Oh, and here's a little known fact (maybe not, but it took me forever to believe it), MOST really cute girls don't get asked for their number because guys are scared to ask! How retarded is that?!?!?!?!

Busy Bee Lauren said...

Ryan's comment made me feel hopeful. I was bugged all last night thinking about how I never got asked for my number...

Srsly, I was so annoyed.

Anonymous said...

one of my favorites :]

CarrieBradshaw* said...

I'm proud of you Calvin :) And I hope you don't think that I assume you're ugly. haha I wish this wasn't so "anonymous" so you guys could post pics. Thanks for your comment btw. If this wedding's got good food you should totally be my date. ;)

Stevi said...

Also..

I've nominated you for a blogging award, you can go to my blog to check it out!

www.lifeofstevi.blogspot.com

Even though it is a guilty pleasure of mine to read this blog, I am still not ashamed. Therefore, you get an award. :) Keep up the good blogging boys.

Anonymous said...

I noticed your link from Lauren's recent post about the hotness scale. I nominate you guys to host a service to all those out there who truly want to know their hotness level. They can send a picture and you can rate their hotness- honestly.
What do you think, would anyone go for it?

Calvin said...

Anonymous 6:43...

I'd be happy to oblige. However, how many of us single folk have seen one or two photos of a guy or girl on Facebook or a blog and thought, "Wow. That person is smokin'!" only to meet them in person and realize that they're really NOT cute? I mean, really, who WOULDN'T put their most flattering photo on FB for all to see.

So, the only way this could work is if the person sent us 10 (ten) photo's of themselves from different angles as well as a 30 second to 2 minute video of them interacting with children on a beach. That should give us the broadest spectrum of material for our attractiveness assessment.

Busy Bee Lauren said...

I think Anonymous is a genius. I will go record a video of myself talking to a toddler on the beach and get it to you soon!

Shannon said...

nice!

caitlin said...

Can I get rid of my red-eye before I submit my photos, or is that not allowed? Also, can I play with a puppy instead of children?

Melissa said...

So I just stalked your life. And let me say it was awesome. Scando? A bit. But I kinda adore honesty.

Ash Att said...

Calvin!! good for you!!! i love this blog haha

The daisy said...

Discovered your blog through a link on busy bee lauren. That was an incredibly sweet post, honest, when you said you were "petrified" by the girl's obvious interest in you, that was... (sigh) Confidence IS sexy its true, but shyness is...(longer sigh)

Ivy said...

I too found you through Lauren... hmmmmm. I am older than you guys and from experience, I don't remember it going that way. This blog is fun to read and it is giving me a new perspective on how tough it must be to be a boy....
Now, when are you going to make a tv show about all of this?
Cheers

Emily Sue said...

so, i found your blog through busy bee lauren, and i must say, this was very entertaining. I think it is extremely attractive when guys ask girls for thier numbers. But, i do realize girls travel in packsa and sometimes it's hard for guys to ask them for their number. However, seeing that you got the "bals" to do it says a lot about you. I like this blog. I like it a lot.
thanks for the entertaining read.

M&C said...

I just spent 4 hours reading through your guys blog. Love it. Everyone that judges or whatever can just stop reading. Everything you guys write is the truth. Who does not think these things? You guys just have the balls to write it all out.

Heather Kawski said...

That's adorable! Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Jake is a douche... Calvin sounds adorable. (No offense to Jake...his future wife will straighten him out. That's assuming he'll ever get married.)

Anonymous said...

You win sir :D

Kevin and Natali McKee said...

You HAVE to call her! Grats on actually talking to her! That is the first step. My husband did that with me in the Singles ward and I was his first he came up to introduce himself to....happily married for 6 years now :)

Estrelladerock said...

Wow... I will admit I totally want to see that movie. Im not judging. But, I do have to give you major props. Takes balls!! I would grow some to help my own cause.. but I am a girl and that would be awkward!

Katie said...

That's actually a really cute story! Way to go, Calvin!