Under Pressure

I go over to my parents house every other Sunday for dinner. All of my siblings are invited, but I'm the only one who consistently attends. It's usually a good time. We all sit around and catch up. Who's doing what... and who is Calvin dating, nowadays? You know. Stuff like that. My dad is my friend on Facebook so he's actually asking me about girls by name. That's kinda weird, by itself. My mom's scared of Facebook for some reason so she relies on my dad to fill her in on who's writing on my wall and what they're saying.

Last Sunday, I got to my parents house for dinner and I was the first one there. My dad and I were sitting in the front room talking about where I should go to get the back window of my totally bitchin' Chevy S-10 replaced. Then, out of nowhere he says, "Oh, hey... I've got something for you, Son." He goes into the dining room and grabs his brief case. He pulls out two pieces of paper stapled together and hands them to me.

I asked, "What's this?" to which he replied, "It's the resume of the new receptionist I was telling you about."

My dad had mentioned about a week before that he'd hired a new receptionist who he thought might be a good match for me. He'd brought it up a couple of times in casual conversation, but I didn't realize how serious he was about setting me up with her. I'm not sure what the policies are in his office, but I'm pretty sure that it's not ok to give out copies of the new hires' resumes. I figured he knew what he was doing so I looked it over. The first thing I noticed was that there was no photo attached. Blast! More employers should require an attached photo, I think.

Her name is Tori and her first job was at 15 years old. She worked at a Snow Shack. I thought it was a weird coincidence... I also worked at a Snowie when I was 15. I figured that we'd have at least ONE thing in common. She worked at a tanning salon from age 16 to 17. That was a good sign. I've been tanning a few times in my life and I've yet to see an ugly tanning salon employee. Then I noticed she had quit the tanning place and had come to work at my dads office. Then I looked at her birthday. She had barely turned 18. I realize I'm only 21, but 18 seems really young to me. I don't know why.

I told my dad something like, "Well, she looks good on paper. We'll have to see how she performs under pressure." I'm not really sure what I meant, but my dad thought it was pretty funny... and I always feel good when I'm able to make my dad laugh.

I called my dad on Friday and Tori answered (cell phone reception is very poor in my dads part of the building). I asked if Russ was available. Tori said, "May I tell him who's calling, please?" I didn't have a chance to think of anything witty. "It's Calvin. His son. It's his son, Calvin." "Oh, my goodness... this is the famous 'Calvin' I've been hearing so much about?" I reply, "No, actually. Probably not. This is Russ's son, Calvin. I'm not sure who you're thinking about."

"Oh, it's you, Calvin. It's definitely you." At this point, I started to blush. Literally, I was sitting in my truck, by myself, and all of the blood in my whole body was rushing to my face for absolutely no reason. I tried to be smooth. "Oh really? Well then..." I wasn't at my smoothness peak.

"So when are you going to come in here so I can meet you?" I almost soiled myself right then and there. "I'm not sure, Tori. (I find that using a girls name a few times in conversation early in a relationship can quickly move things to a more friendly yet intimate place) I guess it depends on the best time that I may accidentally run into you. Maybe you should give me the phone number to a couple of your friends so I can call them to find out when you work. Then all I have to do is think of a good excuse to come see my dad." I thought it was a pretty good line for improv. "Or you could just ask your dad when I work, right?" Foiled again. "Oh yeah. Right. Good call, Tori. Sometimes I get flustered when girls start asking me questions. In fact, I think I may have just blacked out." She giggled. She has an adorable laugh. That's pretty high up on my list of marriage criteria.

"Let me put you through to your dad, Calvin. Great to talk to you." Sigh. "You too, Tori. I'm sure we'll talk again soon." Duh. She answers the phone at my dad's work. I'd probably talk to her again in, like, 45 minutes. By the time I got through to my dad, I'd forgotten why I'd called.

Note to Readers: I normally write a few things out before I call a girl for the first time. Not, like, word-for-word stuff. Just a few topics of discussion, in case the conversation doesn't flow as well as I'd like. I felt like my first conversation with Tori went pretty well for absolutely no pre-planning.

I thought of something tonight, though. What if I date Tori for awhile and then things don't go well and I decide to stop dating her? It's gonna be hard to avoid and ignore her if she's answering the phone every time I call my dad.

Calvin