Thursday, October 29, 2009

First Date Foreplay

Tori was adequately receptive to the Tropicana Twister and the card. When I say "adequately" I mean her reaction was perfect. It wasn't over the top, like sneaking to my house and taping construction paper hearts and lips all over my car... even though that would have been cool. She sent me a text that said, "You're so sweet, Calvin. I can't wait to meet you." That's how she typed it, as well. It wasn't, "Ur so sweet, Cal. I cnt wait 2 meet U." Thank goodness she spells out her texts like I do.

When I called my dad on Monday afternoon, she answered of course and our conversation went very well... again. She's so energetic and bubbly. I can't tell if she's excited cause she's talking to me or if she's excited to talk to everybody. ("Hello, Tori, this is Bonneville Collections. You're check to Pizza Hut bounced." "OH. MY. GOODNESS! [giggles] Are you serious? [giggling] The pizza was TOTALLY worth the $50 fee.") I'm not sure I wanna know, though. I'm content in just assuming she's only that way with me cause I'm so amazing at casual, flirtatious conversation.

I'll be honest, though. Every time I need to call my dad, I mentally and physically prepare for our conversation. I think about what sort of witty and (seemingly) spontaneous small talk I'm going to have with her. Our conversations are short and I don't want to waste them by talking about Judge Joe Brown or something equally unfunny. Trust me. I've tried to come up with funny stuff about Judge Joe Brown and it's impossible. I also moved one of my office chairs in front of my door in the hopes that it'll be harder for me to unconsciously wander out of my office building like last time.

What I've decided to do... and it's working very well... is to give Tori small insights into what I have in store for our date this Friday. For example, on Tuesday I told her that I needed to go buy a scented tree in preparation for our date. She said, "But it's only Tuesday." Then I said that if I bought it too close to our date, like on Friday morning, then the pleasant odor in my vehicle would be too overpowering and could possibly distract her from my first-date awesomeness. She loved that one.

Then yesterday when I called my dad, Tori asked what flavor of scented tree I purchased. This was a question I wasn't ready for, but I answered quickly so it seemed like I was prepared: Cinna-Berry. I knew what her next question was going to be so I started thinking of what I was gonna answer before she even asked the question. "Why not Pine or Vanilla-roma?" My answer was, "I've tried those, but none of them mix well with my cologne." I love her laugh.

Oh, by the way, my dad took three photo's of her with his camera phone and emailed them to me. She's pretty hot. And I don't mean "hot" as a degrading term. I mean she's hot, like, smokin'. Tori wasn't ready for the first photo so it was completely candid of her sitting at her desk and staring at her computer screen (probably fantasizing about me). The next photo was her smiling at my dad's camera and the third one was of her standing up and trying to cover her face. The standing up one was nice. You never know what to expect when you see photo's of girls from the neck up... or even the waist up, sometimes.

I'm getting ready to call my dad later this afternoon and I think I know what first date foreplay move I want to use. I'll be giving Tori another behind-the-scenes look at the upcoming bitchin'ness of our first date.

Calvin

59 comments:

TeresaD said...

Woah. First?

Lauren said...

I love Tori already. She sounds charming :)

Reasons why Tori is the best girl featured on MBP, to date:

1. She texts like an educated adult. Praise be!

2. She is happy. I like happy people.

Git er dunnn, Cal.

Alexandria said...

Okay first off...please tell me you have never walked out to your car covered in hearts and lips...because that is not cool, it's slightly stalker and way creepy!

Very well played! The poor girl won't know what hit her! Please tell me you will post Saturday and tell us all how it went and not be mean ane make us wait until Monday!

Good luck! Don't be nervous she is so into you already!

M and C said...

Cal, You better post right after your date, Im excited to hear how it goes.

Lauren said...

Calvin, I hope you don't post on Saturday. I hope you make out instead.

TeresaD said...

Seriously, I'm loving these posts about Tori. She sounds awesome, you have lots of fun conversations with her, and she can text! GASP!

Bailey said...

I hope it's as good as you're anticipating!

Bekah said...

this is so exciting. I will have my popcorn ready for when I read a recap of your date.

Can you guys sell Diet Coke when you bring in the t-shirts? I really need to be drinking that while chewing popcorn..

Shelby Lou said...

All I'm going to say is that I completely agree with Lauren. Everything she says. EVER.

:D Have fun flirting!

Emily said...

YAY for your 1st date! can't wait for the recap!

CarrieBradshaw* said...

"I haven't even met you and I'm a little jealous." ;) haha have fun on the date. I say don't make out with her 'cause she sounds like a keeper.

Amy said...

Oh my gosh dude! SHE'S MY FAVORITE.

Can't wait to read about your bitchin date with her Calvin. Seriously, I'm already waiting to hear more. Try to take this one slow. No make-out sessions yet, okay dude?

Kimkidoni said...

I'm glad that you care about using correct grammar in texts... even if you sometimes use the wrong your.

Julie said...

I seriously heard the bat connect with the ball as you knocked it out of the park. Well, at least in regards to to the Predate ForePlay.

I agree with Amy...Hold off on the make-out sessions...keep her wanting more.

Lauren said...

She gets major props for spelling out texts! I can't wait to hear how the date goes!!

Now you have seen a picture of her, has she seen any pictures of you??

Anonymous said...

Hooray! I hope you find a real winner in Tori. Can't wait to hear about your conversations in-person. If they're anything like the phone/texts, you might be looking at the best first date of your life. Can't wait to hear how it goes!

- JT

~kiMbeRLy~ said...

Ok. I'm new here. I have some catching up to do. So far...I love it!! You guys speak the truth!! Keep it up!

lilnelablack said...

I am Team Tori!
Can't wait to hear how the first date goes!!

Mauri said...

I am also glad she can write a text like an adult. That's good you saw a picture of her first. I was set up on a horrible blind date once. Worst date in the history of my dates. Have a good time with Tori!

Anonymous said...

Not only could this be the best first day of your life, but this could also be the last first date of your life. She sounds like awesome wife material.

Alexandria said...

Okay I agree with Lauren! Don't post on Saturday...you should be making out instead!!

Ryan Hadlock said...

I hope that you have a LOT of material dude because you are working this girl. She is putty in your hands. NICE job. My only recommendation is to not spend it all in one place. Even being witty and funny CAN get old if it's your only schtick. For SURE don't make out with this girl on the first date. I'd even say like 3-4 dates, because it sound like she WANTS you and if you make her wait a bit, you will be GOLD. Good luck!!!

Caroline said...

CUTE!!! Although I have to disagree with somewhat with ryan.... he would have bonus points, but cute ideas can be out weighed by other factors. Just make sure you keep her laughing. She sounds like the type that loves to laugh...

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Hopefully I won't be able to post on Saturday cause my lips are too sore... and maybe cause my arms are tired.

-c

Anonymous said...

Tori sounds great! But unlike some of these people are posting I think you should go out and have fun. They are crazy talking about marriage. You are young and haven't even had your first date with her yet. Talk about pressure. So ingore that and enjoy your self. By the way the calls are great. She is one lucky lady.

Tara said...

Bitchin'ness? Oh, Utahard grammar! It gets me everytime!

Have a great date! Can't wait to hear how it goes!

Alexandra said...

She texts real words! I like her already.

I think it's funny you like to say "bitchin'" because my mom says it, too.

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

How old is your mom? Is she single?

kelleidoscope said...

I like this girl, she sounds great! Types her words out, has a sense of humor, pretty... Don't screw it up ;)

kelleidoscope said...

And I finally added your guys' button to my page.. though I'm pretty sure anyone who reads my blog already reads yours.

Melissa said...

I think its hilarious your dad is also helping you work it. Handing out the resume. Taking photos to make sure she meets your looks standard. Great dad you've got there. Hilarious in fact.

Nicole said...

So funny Calvin! I find it hilarious that your dad is at work taking pictures of his secretary. Way to work your magic! Hopefully Tori is as awesome as she sounds! Good luck! enjoy your date & keep on smooth talking! Love it.

KatOfDiamonds said...

Am I the only one who is also UBER excited that he had now started with safety precautions before calling her so he doesn't flirt his way into death? just saying.
I am proud of you on many levels Calvin!

Zabes-Yap said...

I'm hoping there is something wrong with her *wink*.... It would be boring if she wasn't crazy in some form or another. And trust me... we all are crazy. *grin*

Bethany said...

Tori sounds normal! Yay for you! Also I spell out my texts too, it's kind of annoying when people abbreviate everything! And you are so charming....where can I find more guys like you! haha

Autumn said...

You better post like ASAP after your date. She seems really sweet and I think that you'll have a lot of fun with her. Just don't be a douche, and treat her the way she deserves Calvin. Don't hurt her. :] Good luck!

Allison said...

AK. I may have a girl crush on her. She's perfect! :D

And the punctuation pretty texts really do tell all. I approve.

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog today. Read it all this afternoon :) It reads like a book! Now I'm sad I have to wait in real time to see what happens!! Maybe you should sell your blog one day and make it into a book or movie. That could be pretty awesome...
Hope the date is great!

Anonymous said...

Just found your blog today. Read it all this afternoon :) It reads like a book! Now I'm sad I have to wait in real time to see what happens!! Maybe you should sell your blog one day and make it into a book or movie. That could be pretty awesome...
Hope the date is great!

(Sorry for the repost, just want to sign my post)

-J

TechieGirl said...

Good luck man! Give her a good time and I bet she'll be putty in your hands. All mormon girls are that way. Give them a good time, flatter them, make them laugh, and you can pretty much get away with murder. =) I should know, I am one. =)

Rachel Dear said...

I have a girl crush on Tori.

She's cool.

Anonymous said...

Try the pumpkin spice tree, it's nice. Just sayin'.

Have fun!

Anonymous said...

cute post :]

Kristin Lee said...

Seriously, can I date Tori?

Have a fantastic time, you've got this.

Molly said...

I must say, I like Tori quite a lot. More than any other girl featured on mbp. Because she wins at life. And texts like an educated person. ( I went back and read that, and I was srsly like "Said the thirteen year old nerd" )

Jen said...

I LOVE that you wander when you talk on the phone! My six-year-old can't form a coherent thought without moving those legs - I can totally see him ending up in the park across the street while on the phone with a girl someday! Way to protect yourself! Did the chair work?

Karina said...

She spells out her texts! :D You are awesome. Have fun with your bitchin'ness of that date. ;).

Andee said...

You have an office? wow, you must be a big deal...ha.

OneiLin said...

You are too cute! I love reading your posts. Tori seems like a sweet girl. Have fun :)

Jody Lynn said...

oh boy...i can't wait for the next post! have fun. ;)

Montierth Madness said...

Calvin, you spend a lot of time preparing for your phone conversations with Tori. When you are on a date, you'll be freeballing it... how do you plan to keep up the persona she's already gotten to know a little bit? I think you're asking for it. Kinda like Obama with the teleprompters: when they're there he's eloquent. When they're not, he's bumbling for words.

Good luck though.

Jade said...

Calvin your awesome! Now have an awesome date with Tori, and GIVE US ANOTHER POST!

Grand Pooba said...

I had to give you guys a shout out on my blog. I love you THAT much. (Side bar under "reading")

lifechick said...

Calvin, hope your date's fun. I kinda agree with Ryan in that you shouldn't overdo the schtick. You don't want to appear like you're trying too hard. We girls like effort, but not desperation.

Not that I'm saying you're desperate - you just don't want to accidentally make *her* think you are. If a girl feels sure she can land you, she might lose interest. Let her wonder a little. ;)

Miranda Henstrom said...

Oh my gosh. My friends weren't kidding. They told me about your blog last night and that it was the best blog they'd ever seen, that these guys were funny and completely honest. I didn't believe them but boy, was I wrong. I just finished reading all of them (because why on earth would I want to skip anything??) Anyway I just wanted to say that you guys rock and keep writing. Also I'm praying that your identity stays a secret, for your sakes and for some of these girls (though not all...) Good Luck
-Miranda

Miranda Henstrom said...

Also Calvin,
good luck on your date! I really like Tori so far, she seems really fun and fun is always good.

summer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Summer said...

oh wow, I just found your blog and I am addicted! serioulsy, its great, I love it!! And Calvin, I'm happy you found such a nice girl!:)

Rachael said...

can't wait to hear about the tori date!