Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The rest of the story

previously on:
Confessions From A Mormon Bachelor Pad

I realized she was pretty much laying across me. One of my hands was on her side and the other on her thigh. She had a hand on my shoulder and on my stomach. Her face was about an inch away from mine, and her eyes were saying exactly what she was about to do.

Harper leaned in, but I glanced past her at the game, and she stopped. The Angels (who I'm only rooting for because I hate the Yankees) had just gotten their 3rd out. There Harper was, ready to give me that kiss that I should have just taken on her doorstep that first night. And I was ingoring her briefly for a baseball game, poor girl. Then once that 3rd out in the 6th inning happened I figured the game was already over, the chances of the Angels coming back were slim to none.

My attention drifted back to Harper. She was staring at my mouth her face still incredibly close to mine. I remembered coming to the decision earlier that I was NOT going to kiss her. I started to remind myself why, and Harper interupted with, "Is there a problem?" I don't know where on Earth my answer came from but I immediately said, "I have a beautiful girl lying in my lap an inch away from my face... I don't see how there could be a problem?" She grinned a little. I was a bit shocked at how silly that sounded, but she ate it up.

I smiled back, and she went for my neck. I love it when a girl kisses my neck. It was a huge turn on, and for the first time that night I became aroused. I thought, why did I decide not to kiss her again? For a while my brain just didn't work. I tried to think of reasons, but the only thing that ended up happening was me thinking about thinking. The neck kissing was the last straw.

I grabbed Harper by the back of the neck, ( here, in the span of a nano second I remembered Andrea. I remembered Harper's craziness and likelyhood of becoming a stalker. The thought actually ran through my head that this girl was throwing herself at me right now and how unfair to her it would be to deny her. Then I thought, there's no pros and cons to be weighed here. There is a girl in my lap, a pretty one at that, who was freckling my neck with kisses despite the stubble. A girl who I wanted to kiss. Andrea and I were no more. I owed her nothing. I pulled Harper to me and kissed her. As we kissed my brain shut down from all thoughts besides kissing technique.

We made out during the last three innings of the game. Until about half an hour after when my roommates started arriving home. Harper was not as good a kisser as I was hoping. Her fun flirty disposition didn't transfer to her snog.

I walked her to her car and said goodbye. While I waited for her to drive off I felt bad. Not for kissing another girl besides Andrea. Not becuase Andrea worked with said girl and might find out. And not because we were horizontal on the couch and floor and couch and chair-and-a-half for the better part of an hour. No, I felt bad for Harper. I knew she liked me, and I also knew that now that we had kissed, that there was no longer ANY interest in her whatsoever.

Jake

44 comments:

KatOfDiamonds said...

Ouch. Poor Harper.

Claire Marie said...

aw. Sucks for her, but it's her fault. She invited herself over and threw herself at you. you watched the game instead- she should have taken the hint.

That Chick said...

eh. can't say i feel bad for her. she still is an oddball in my book.

well. at least you will get a good story out of it with the antics that ensue. Because I'm willing to bet she's got a few up her sleeve.

Amber Tidd Murphy said...

Isn't that the worst, when you kiss someone and find out that it just isn't there? I mean, coming from a female point of view, I think it sucks. I have definitely pulled my lips away on more than once occasion, giggling, saying "I just can't do this..." and then continued to make out with a guy while knowing that he wasn't for me.

I mean, back in my single days. Sigh. I am living vicariously through you boys.

C$ said...

I don't feel bad for Harper. What man wants to buy the whole ice cream truck when the popsicles are getting handed out for free? But really, she should have gotten the hint when you kept watching the TV instead of immediately kissing the crap out of her when she crawled into your lap.

Scott said...

Careful Jake, you might have just opened a whole can of crazy.

Not that you don't deserve it. You knew her crazy potential before you kissed her. Just sayin'.

Shannon said...

hahahaha! I saw that coming from a mile away, and now that you've kissed her, she is gonna be thinking you are into her, and BAM stalker on your hands. can't wait to see how you deal with this one!

~MamaBowers

Ryan Hadlock said...

Witness protection program anyone? I hope you like Topeka Jake. We'll miss you. :-D

20 Something said...

Why feel bad for Harper? She threw herself on you and you didn't show much interest until she was undressing you with her eyes. BUT I cant wait to hear how this turns out.

Julie said...

Shannon is so right. At this point I completely believe that Harper deserves what's coming to her. You know what they says, "Wave a tuna in a cat's face and the cat is gonna bite." Really, guys can't help themselves. I don't blame you Jake, it's in your make-up.

Thanks for keeping things "honest" and real. Most of your followers are gals and truth be told, we like information and in great detail. We may not like what we hear or see but we still want all the information.

The Boob Nazi said...

pssh, kissing necks with stubble is all right right with me.
I can't wait to hear more about things with Harper.

ChloƩ said...

first off, i just have to say, you are an incredible writer. i felt like i was reading a romance novel. i hope you will take that as a compliment. i'm not trying to say you are gay or anything like that. clearly you are not.

i think that kissing harper was the right thing. you just had to find out if something was there. clearly it was not. that happens. i have had it happen to me before too. harper may be hurt after all this, but she was throwing herself at you and you can't just make someone like you by kissing them.

on a sidenote? neck stubble: awesome.

robynxx said...

Drama is fuuuuuun. That is all.

:)

Oh, and good luck. I have the feeling you're going to need it, hah.

Teri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andee said...

Don't feel bad. The only time you should feel bad is if you don't like the girl and YOU initiate the kiss.
She literally THREW herself onto you. It's her fault and she totally deserves whatever she gets.
haha good luck getting rid of her now though...maybe she is the same person that left that note on your motorcycle...

Julia said...

She asked for it, kiss away my friend, there is nothing wrong with a little NCMO. PS can you explain who Becca is? Also, to all the people that were "jake haters" clearly you are all as addicted to this blog as the rest of us are, so I don't believe you are true haters, I think you love him just like the rest of us.

kelleidoscope said...

Haha you really go through girls, don't you?
As long as you don't lead harper on, you shouldn't feel bad. And if you lost interest in her just because she's a bad kisser, I'm not sure you guys would have had a very deep relationship :)

Mauri said...

I don't really feel bad for. She threw herself at you. She can't expect to do that & then be offended if you're not interested. Guys like physical contact. period. She's setting herself up for disappointment. My strategy was always flirt a little, then let the guys come to me if they're interested. I don't throw myself at guys. Guys know what they want, & if they really want it, they'll get it.

Lauren said...

I echo Chloe...you rock at writing my friend.

Anyway...sigh...Harper was the kind of girl that annoyed me in high school, so I couldn't care less about her.

What I am excited about is the drama that will ensue. Will the packages on the doorstep continue? Dun Dun duuuun.

Cyd said...

Like everyone else I am so excited to see where this one goes.

Great story, I am glad you finished telling us all, but you know what the bad thing about it is? That is totally going to be me the next time I kiss a guy! not the creepy stalker part, but the bad kisser part! I just have a feeling I am doomed on that level...

Melissa said...

FYI Becca is a girl Jake is moving from the finding pool to the dating pool. She's the one who had a wicked funny text response. Its in the "finding, dating and marriage pools" in case you need to refresh your memories...

Alexandria said...

I think you just bought yourself a grade A stalker Jake!! I am hoping you didn't but all signs point to ensuing crazy...

Can I just say how much I love this blog? Ya..okay I love it..you fellas are hilar.

Anonymous said...

As I predicted...

You kissed her. I don't fell bad for a at all. She has many issues...I can tell and I don't even know her. She is a loser and totally on your level.

You continue to be a douche. Unless there is something lower I can call you.

Have you ever heard that story about the train of life and how it's in constant motion and that if you don't hold on to it when it comes your way...you most likely will never get it again? Well, that thing is Andrea.

I am sure you will marry some Harper in life. But, she will never really make you step up to the plate and make you want to be better....

Bekah said...

I feel like this is Mormon Fanfiction. I'm bringing my popcorn next time I read!

Amazing

Anonymous said...

Like we didn't see this one coming... Not just the snog, but your tell all, too. If a girl comes onto a guy and she is even a little bit cute, the guy ALWAYS accepts the offerings. Harper is totally going to be your stalker in a matter of days, and will eventually being crying and asking, "What did I do wrong?! I thought you LIKED me!" because that's what stalkers do... I think you are in for some sneaking out of your house, screening all calls, looking over your shoulder, all to avoid her. Was the hour worth it?

Didn't think so.

marcie said...

I now have myself, my friend and my sister hooked on this blog :) That girl is crazy and prob deserves whats comin for her since she's so willing to throw herself at you! haha can NOT wait to hear the drama comin your way :)

Teri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scott said...

Just remember the difference between having a good time and being a total douchebag is commitment.

i.e. If you are not giving off any signs of wanting commitment and you make it clear you are not looking to commit to her, then kiss away.

But still be very careful of Crazy. You might want to do a cost/benefit analysis of this NCMO.

Kathleen said...

Agreeing with those who complimented your writing style! Very nice!

Anyway, I'm not sure at this point whether or not to feel bad for Harper. Part of me kind of does, but the other part just... doesn't. That was well said... ahem.

G Sauce said...

Just make sure you are honest to her and if she can't handle it then stop it before it turns to crazytown. Oh and don't pretend that is seriously annoying.

Have Fun!

T. L. C. said...

I knew it!!! Poor Harper...Do I feel bad for her? Maybe. But only in the since that I know she asked for it and now look what that got her?

Why is it we SO keep on making out with a guy/girl even though it's just not there? Your Harper is like my poor Kyle...We made out days leading up to me dumping him.
- Tierra

Alexandra said...

The plot thickens!
It'll be interesting to see how this turns out.

goodmorning, call me lyse said...

Poor Harper, but really? Its sort of her fault. She did throw herself at you. Its understandable.

Zabes-Yap said...

The only problem with that... the NCMO situation... is that she may or may not have viewed it in that light. That's the problem with dating you never know how interested someone is in you....

The Blog Stalkers said...

Why are you such a girl?! We love it!

Allison said...

Harper SLIGHTLY bothered me... but ouch. Poor Harper.

Nice story, though! I liked the buildup, and the cliffhanger, and the end. :D

lifechick said...

Ok, so, it's likely that Harper's probably somewhat nuts, what with the leaving-stuff-on-the-doorstep antics and such. Still, the level of animosity towards her here is a mystery to me. Why is it if a woman makes the advances and is completely open about what she wants, it's supposedly a bad thing?

Maybe I've got it wrong, but it seems like some are judging Harper against their own standard of conduct. And it's fine if you're not the kinda girl that would want to make the moves Harper does. But why does it bother any of you that she goes after what she wants?

Amy said...

Now I am complete, because I know the rest of the story. Dang the first post was like not getting to watch the end of a favorite TV show. Poor Harper, but whatever. I bet she flirts with lots of guys the same way she flirted with you. Not to hate on her or anything. And not to make you feel not special, but she just seems like that kinda girl. Maybe I'm just being really judgemental of her- I feel bad. It's obvious she really liked you.
But just move on. :)

Shelby Lou said...

score! you kissed her. SUCKY that she wasn't that great. I hate it when that happens. I really liked this guy.. then we kissed and it was a SEEYALATER right then and there. Just no spark.

I love the couch, floor, half of a chair.. hahahahahaha i laughed so hard during this post.

Anonymous said...

From Anonymous #1 to TERI:

Go ahead, find me and try to kick me.

You are a trekkie for starters, probably fat, homely, and frumpy.

People like you make the world laugh!

staceface said...

Wow, I agree with everyone else. You are an awesome writer and I don't feel bad for Harper. She can expect nothing else when she was the one making all the moves and never stopping to see if you were responding! This is going to be greatly amusing to see how it turns out.

To Anonymous #1's response to Teri:
That response right there proves that you yourself are a "douche bag" as you put it and just as bad as you "claim" these guys are. Difference is, they are honest and you are a hypocrite. You can dish it but not take it. You can't put someone down for having a different opinion than you. There is a reason God made us all different! =D

Autumn said...

Your readers annoy me. Well most of them anyways. Get over it! He's a guy. Hell, any guy, except maybe a complete Peter Priesthood guy, would take the opportunity if a girl threw herself at them like that. She asked for it, and if you're not interested, she cant expect you to be interested. She needs to learn the reality, guys may seem interested, but unless they continue to fight for your attention, they might not be, but if you throw yourself at them like that, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak!

Great story, yet again! I'm sorry you have readers that think that you're a fag. My advice to them, if you think that way, please stop stalking them. Their fans may jump you :]

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Eek. That's the best way of describing my feelings here.
Loving this blog - mine has a similar vibe. Check it out:
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

Estrelladerock said...

Okay.. that's one fo the worst things. I am not a kissing hooch, but you GOTTA KNOW. You can't get in a relationship with someone and find out they are a terrible kisser. Then it's no fun! You kiss and see what the outcome is. Relationships are like M&M's ... they should melt in your mouth.. not in your hands!!!