It's funny how easy it is to talk to girls when they're at my house and how extremely hard it is to talk to girls on the phone. Actually, it's not funny at all. It's kind of sad and depressing.
I'm a "pacer", as well. Like, I can't just sit in the recliner in our front room and call a girl. I've tried to do that, but my legs are bouncing... I'm constantly rearranging my position in the chair or on the couch... I'll get distracted by something that's going on in the kitchen. I just can't do it. The easiest way for me to have a telephone conversation with a girl I'm interested in, is to pace.
Ideally, I'll call a girl in the evening while I'm home. I don't like my roommates to hear me stuttering through awkward conversations, so I'll usually go outside and pace up and down the street in front of my house. It's so much more relaxing to me than trying to hold still.
Well, I wanted an excuse to talk to Tori this morning so I decided to call my dad. Pacing is hard when I'm calling a girl from my office, I learned. Unfortunately, I didn't think about it before I initiated my phone call. Luckily, I had chosen to call from my cell phone instead of the phone in my office, so I wasn't restricted by a telephone cord. When Tori answered, "How may I direct your call?" I realized that my office wasn't big enough to get a healthy "pace" going on. I identified myself by using my first, middle and last name, which works amazingly well as a conversation starter in situations like that.
C: Is this Tori?
T: Yes. How may I help you?
C: Hello Tori. This is Calvin Lynn Marler. How are you today?
T: Well, I'm doing just great Calvin Lynn Marler. (giggling) Is that really your middle name?
(it worked, conversation was underway)
C: Yes, it is. I didn't tell anyone about it for a while cause I didn't like it, but I've decided recently that I should try harder to really OWN it, you know?
T: ( still giggling) I think it's adorable. What didn't you like about it?
C: My grandpa used to call me Leaky Lynn when I was six or seven cause I still wet the bed. It's possible that I've just been in a constant state of embarrassment for the last 15 years and so I've avoided saying it aloud. I'm getting better though.
T: You don't still wet the bed, do you?
C: Yeah, right, Tori? Do you really think I'm gonna answer that? I'm not gonna make THAT mistake again.
T: (laughing) Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson. (more laughing, which I'm really digging) Your dad didn't tell me how funny you were.
C: He didn't? That's strange cause I don't have that many good qualities. What DID he tell you?
T: He just told me about your abs. I didn't hear anything he said after that. I just kept picturing old ladies washing their dirty laundry on your washboard abs.
(Normally this would have freaked me out, but I don't have visible abs so I knew she was joking. I'm sure I HAVE abs... somewhere under my well-groomed and recently trimmed chest and belly hair)
C: Oh. Well, good. I'm glad my dad is so open with his son's muscle tone.
T: (giggle again) Do you need to talk to him, by the way?
C: That depends on if you're done flirting with me.
T: What? I wasn't flirting.
C: Tori... I think we both know that you were about to ask me out for the weekend, but you decided against it cause it's Thursday and you didn't want me to know that you didn't already have plans.
T: (laughing harder) Oh really? Is that what was about to happen?
C: I'm pretty sure it was, Tori. I'm pretty perceptive that way.
T: Well, actually, I was going to go to a Haunted House with some of my girlfriends, but it would be great if we had at least ONE guy there to keep us safe.
C: That sounds like it would be really fun. I DO get kind of scared in those things though... but I'll do my best.
We talked for a little while longer and eventually exchanged phone numbers and she told me that she'd let me know when everyone was meeting on Saturday.
When she asked again if I wanted to talk to my dad, I told her that I didn't need to talk to him, after all. She giggled again and said, "Well, ok then." I'm pretty sure she knows that I only called to talk with her.
So even though I didn't actually ask her out, technically, I still feel pretty good. I was able to steer the conversation to where it needed to go without really putting myself on the line. I was able to get a date without actually risking rejection. It was harder than I thought it would be, but maybe it'll be easier next time.
ps When I hung up the phone about 45 minutes ago, I realized I was in the park across the street from my building. Apparently, I had left my office, walked down the hall, rode the elevator down, left through the front doors, crossed the busy street and ended up in the park. I don't remember doing any of that.