Finding, Dating, and Marriage Pools

The last few days since ending things with Andrea have been rough. I'm not going to complain anymore than the previous sentence though, because I do realize I brought this all on myself and am getting what I deserve.

In the form of a teeny update, Andrea has tried to call me twice and sent me a text or two everyday until today. Today she didn't send me anything. I have not responded mostly because I just don't know what to say and partly because I'm afraid if I do that I'll just end up crawling back to her. Her basic message thus far seems to be that we need to talk, and that she thinks I have made a mistake. I have decided to try to move on even though my motivation is pretty low right now. I do miss Andrea and wish it had been different.

In the interest of moving on, I have decided to enlist some of the training that I got on my mission and apply it to my dating cause. When on a mission there are three major pools that you work your investigators through. The first is the finding pool (in my post mission application I will still call this the "finding pool"), then the teaching pool ("dating pool"), and then finally the baptism pool ("marriage pool").

The finding pool is the largest pool in the group. It covers people that you haven't even met yet. In Ireland, on days where we decided to work our finding pool we would go to the town center and stop people on the street, or we would go tracting door to door, or visit less-active members. Pretty much anyone we talked to that day about the gospel was then added to our finding pool. We would make sporadic contact with them until they were ready to be moved into the teaching pool.

Since I was semi-serious with Andrea over the last three months, I have just been throwing every girl I meet into my finding pool. Including, but not limited to, the "chesty" chorister in my ward that I'm certain makes eyes at me during hymns. The blond that sits across from me in Macro Economics that always seems to find an excuse to ask me a question. The receptionist at my Grandma's nursing home that has twice taken the liberty of revealing far too much about her ex-boyfriend to be a coincidence. Along with a myriad of other girls that may or may not make it into the next pool.

The teaching pool very obviously comprises all the people we were teaching the discussions to. From those receiving the first lesson to those being interviewed for baptism. The teaching pool is the one a missionary spends most his time focusing on. A good missionary does not neglect his finding pool because he'll need to keep feeding his teaching pool, but probably 80% of his time is spent on teaching.

Again, because of my pseudo commitment to Andrea, my dating pool is pretty bleak at the moment. I pretty much have Harper, who I've told you about. Holly, the girl in our ward who has shamelessly informed me that she has a giant crush on me. And, Renee, a sister from my mission that I have a little bit of history with.

However, Harper is a bit of a loon. Holly has braces and shorter hair than me, which by themselves aren't unattractive, but combined with her overall average looks makes her altogether unattractive. And, Renee, she lives in friggin Cedar City, that's a little far to go to see someone on a regular basis.

With prospects like these three girls, it's similar to when a missionary moves into a new city and the teaching pool is kind of stagnant and has just some of the same old people in it. Just like I would have done on my mission, I am going to relegate these girls from my dating pool into my finding pool for now and see what happens later on.

(side note: I only put a link to the definition of "relegate" because Calvin was certain with his vast understanding of the English language that if he didn't know its definition, that you, our readers wouldn't know it. He tried to get me to change it, so I appeased him by putting in a link that would not only help some people learn a new word, but would also allow me to mock him for his maternal spelling and grammar nagging.)

So, what was once known as the "baptism pool" is now called my "marriage pool". Unlike the mission, in a romantic relationship there can be only one that moves into the marriage pool, because, as you probably all know, Polygamy was done away with a few years ago. Unless you follow Warren Jeffs, or take the HBO series "Big Love" a little too seriously.

I sat down today and decided that there were a few girls I already know I want to move from my Finding Pool into my Dating Pool. I recognize that I am pretty much basing my excitement over any given girl in my Finding Pool off of her attractiveness for the most part. Shallow? Perhaps.

I guess I could take the time to deeply and thoroughly get to know all of the girls while still in my Finding Pool, and then, based off of their personality and finer qualities, pick one of them to date and move them into my Dating Pool. This would probably result in the dreaded "hang-out and make-out" friendships that I hear so many girls complaining about. However, I actually like dating, and going on dates. So, it seems to me a more prudent idea is to date a couple of them at a time while getting to know them.

So yesterday, I sent a mass text out to each girl in my Finding Pool (seven of them) that said, "What you doing?" to try and strike up a conversation and kind of "feel out" where I stood with each one. They all responded, and I had fairly decent flirty textersations with each of them.

Textersation of the day was with Becca. Becca is roommates with a girl that Lance makes out with every couple of weeks without ever taking her out. Becca has more respect for herself, she's cuter than her roommate (I think), and she's funny. Here's how it went:

J: What you doing?
B: Not much, just sitting in class. What are you doing?

J: Just got a Jamba, heading home. How's class? Exciting?

B: Ha ha...? Always!!

B: Ok there wasn't supposed to be a question mark. :)
J: Oh, phew! I was sitting here thinking you didn't think I was funny.

B: No, I just don't pay attention to what I write until after I send it for some reason. :)

J: Who do you think is sexier? Bruce Wayne or Peter Parker.

B: Ha ha ha... That is an easy one!! Bruce!!

J: Really?

B: Heck yes!! Way Hotter, and Richer! And he would probably know more tricks in bed. ;)
J: Ah, I see what's important. Compared to Peter though he's kind of a player, gets around, is afraid of commitment... no problems there?

B: As long as I didn't get killed by someone trying to get to him, or get herpes we're good.

J: Ha ha ha! You're bomb.

B: Ha ha ha... Thanks!
J: Have fun in class, catch you later.

I decided to stop there, and wait until later to ask her out, but I think Becca will definitely be one I'll try and get comfy with in my Dating Pool. Furthermore, in the interest of continuing to apply my mission training to dating I have decided to set goals. My goal now will be, I hope to have at least three girls in my actual Dating Pool before Thanksgiving.

Jake