Surprisingly, things haven't been weird at work since the whole Harper date. In fact they have just been business as usual. Her flirting is just the same as before. We didn't ever speak about the awkward doorstep scene and I'm fine with that. I also resolved to be far more serious with Andrea, and though we haven't got around to having a DTR, in my mind, I am as exclusive as I have ever been.So I was surprised yesterday when I got home from work, and there was this little box on the front porch. It had my name on it and a little bow, and a little teeny thank you card. Inside the box was a bag of Sour Patch Kids, which anyone who knows me well knows this is my most very favorite candy. Written inside the thank you card was "Thank you so much for not kissing me! I know that was odd. Seriously thank you tho. You are an awesome guy. XoXoX Harper"
I showed the box to my roommates and we mused over the strangeness of this chick. At work today I told her thank you for the candy and the card. She again, didn't act any differently.
Today when I got home from work, there was another little box on my porch. Same bow and thank you card. Inside was a can of Mountain Dew, also my favorite. This time the card said, "Thank you so much for not kissing me. I think you deserve another chance. XXXXoXXXX Harper"
Again the roommates and I discussed Harpers weirdness. Calvin suggested I cut all ties from her and start ignoring her, even at work. Aaron & Lance Think I should make out with her. Nick thinks I should just keep her at arms length and see how things go with Andrea. I thinks she is nuts, and want nothing to do with her. I do appreciate the goodies though, maybe I should just try and milk this till the food stops coming... I don't know, too much work?
Speaking of Andrea, she told me about her date with the fireman. She said he was a nice guy, but he was "no Jake." This brought me some comfort, but I was never terribly threatened to begin with. I asked her about him though. She described him and it all sounded very righteous. He started their date with a prayer and their discussions were chiefly religious. The thought, "She deserves a better man than me" hasn't left my mind since we wrote that talk together... (despite the many comments here about me needing to man up and quit being a pansy) as she described fireman, he sounded like a pretty cool guy. Pretty cool, and... "a better man than me."
It is safe to say I am confused.
Jake
20 comments:
ditch harper. concentrate on andrea. dont let feeling of inadequacy deter you from the possibility of a great relationship. she is smart and operates with the spirit-you have to know she is aware of your faults, but likes(maybe loves)you despite them. just like jack nicholson in "as good as it gets" does she make you want to be a better man?
what kind of weirdo starts a date with a prayer? if i went out with a guy who insisted on that, I can promise you there would be no second date. But thats just me. Maybe I'm not as... mormon... as others. Ha ha.
have to say no no to harper. she sounds like a freakish squeaker who gives off weird signals and can't make up her mind.
"Thank you so much for not kissing me. I think you deserve another chance. XXXXoXXXX Harper"
Ummm who does she think she is? Saying that you deserve another chance. Does she think YOU blew the first one? Seriously. Don't fall for Harper. I don't want to bash Harper- I'm sure she is a great girl. I can't judge her. But go for a girl who likes you for you and doesn't have to act like a slut to get your attention. For example: ANDREA! Just my little opinion :]
Two things -- this whole Harper thing is freakishly bizarre. She sounds like a nice girl, but thats kinda weird to the extreme.
Second -- seriously? If some guy I went with started the date with a prayer, I would be weirded out. Big Time. Like the guy who takes me out to dinner at a nice restaurant (or any restaurant for that matter) and wants to say a prayer to bless the food. Its just awkward and weird. She said to you that he isn't anything like you -- thats a good thing dude!! She obvi likes you more than freaky fireguy, so I'd be pretty happy about that.
Jake, I say this with kindness, but wow, you're a bit of a head case. What are you confused about? What to do about Harper?
You said: "I thinks she is nuts, and want nothing to do with her." If you want nothing to do with her, you have your answer. I can only think of a couple reasons you'd "milk this", and they don't include Sour Patch Kids!
-Are you just worried about how to extricate yourself from Harper's interest without her blabbing about your date to Andrea? You can thwart that by telling Andrea yourself.
-Are you worried about hurting Harper's feelings? Letting her think you still have interest if you don't will hurt her more.
-Are you just trying to keep all your options open -- hanging onto Andrea while stringing Harper along? If that's the case (I think/hope not), I have no advice, because I doubt you're going to be honest with them (or at least with both of them) about each other.
As for Andrea, I think you're afraid, not confused. 1. Do you want her in your life -- yes or no? 2. Are you willing to open up to her about the things about yourself you think make you not good enough for her -- yes or no?
I'm guessing you'll answer Yes to #1, and No to #2. Until you can answer Yes to #2, you won't ever feel deserving of Andrea. If continue like this, you'll always feel unworthy. Like others have said, it will eventually destroy your relationship with Andrea.
Sorry for the long post (again), but the bottom line is, you are never going to navigate this situation to your own satisfaction while you keep acting (or not) out of fear. That said, good luck with it all! I really hope for the best for you -- despite what you think, I believe you *do* deserve it! :)
I say just be kind......Harper has some past issues and when your young your social skllls are growing. Harpers skills are just not the social convention. let her down easy...just like you would want to be let down.
PS its fireman not firepussy.....tell Andrea he is sliding down too many poles at the firehouse.
My thoughts:
1) Ditch/Ignore Crazy.
2) Have the freakin' DTR. This will give you some sort of mental fortitude to not get pulled around by any other girl. It sounds like you are justifying a ton of crap because you haven't D'd the R.
3) Work on your spiritual self so you can become the type of person Andrea deserves. If you aren't planning on becoming a better person, let her go. She sounds like she deserves someone much better than the 'you' portrayed on this blog. She may be able to put up with it now, but in the long run it will catch up to you and cause some issues for both of you.
Don't worry, I am still pulling for you and Andrea. She sounds great.
hmmm...I think if I say what I really mean I will definitely get flamed...so I'll just keep it to myself...
I'm not sure who commented on my blog but thanks for the comment. It really made me laugh! ;) xo
Seriously if you think Andrea deserves a better man, and you love her then you would step it up.
Everyone deserves to be with someone who makes them there best.
maybe Andrea pushes you religiously, and maybe you make her a more calm fun person.
Sounds like you two have alot of differences that make one great team.
My husband and I are complete opposites, but thats what makes our relationship more interesting and fun.
Good Luck!
Agree with Scott up there. Sounds about perfect...and stay far away from Harper...you can still be nice but like someone said up there at least arms length away. Andrea seems to be a great person.
dude, Harper is freaken CRAZY! stay away. Then again, i would get a good laugh with another date story. just say-in.
If a guy started a date with a prayer, I would run for the hills. Yikes. How did Andrea feel about that? And if they left me gifts on the door step, I would be freaked out. I still think you need to find someone more your type...
Seriously, starting a date with a prayer? That dude is psycho. I'm not mormon, but I used to be when was when I was in college and dating mormon dudes and if any guy started a date with a prayer, I would have run away. And I was totally Molly guys. Molly!
Harper? The whole thank you notes thing is seriously weird, stick with Andrea because that Fireman has got to go!
Yeah...Harper's behavior sounds a little odd.
I was wondering, have you ever eaten Sour Patch Kids with a can of Mountain Dew before? Because it sounds like it'd be sort of fun, in a quick rush followed by a crash sort of way.
Harper sounds kind of um... crazy?
Leave her in the dust, focus on Andrea. Remember that it doesn't matter what Andrea deserves.. it matters what she wants. Give yourself more credit.
Why all this anti-prayer speech from the sisters, what happen to the commandment "pray without ceasing" have never prayed before a date but always with every meal even with a date. Never scared anyone off for 6months at least. So you so-called molly Mormons that think praying is weird are all for show and hypocrites. Jake drop Harper like a hot potato, get the DTR over with and pick-up another sister that is as beautiful as Andrea and not as perfect if you can find her. You deserve someone you can be yourself with. If you don't measure up now you will never measure up and she can never change you. Only you can change your situation.
PS: Inform Andre about the date with Harper if you value the relation- do this b/4 the DTR.
umm she sounds like a creeper. id stay away from that girl. -E
she's a freaky girl. they crazy type. she's so insecure she's dropping off gifts to get your attention.
thanks for not kissing me=please please kiss me (and take my clothes off while you're at it)
If a guy had started a date with me with a prayer I would have just left in the middle of it...LAME!
This blog is hilarious. Seriously. You are officially added to my "list"...lucky you.
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