Nick Has

One of MBP's "regulars" not-so-subtly suggested that if Jake or I didn't have a story to share, maybe we should opt to dedicate a post to Nick (since he's relatively unknown) instead of waxing philosophical about our opinions on sexual definitions. (Thanks, Blazzer... you dork face.) Point taken, my friend.

Nick plays a very big part in the MBP dynamic. He's relatively soft-spoken, but the chicks really dig him. I haven't really been able to figure out why. He's short, but pretty buff. Proportionately, he's the most muscular guy in the house. I'm trying to think of someone to compare him to. Ok, if you ever watch World Extreme Cagefighting, then you know who Urijah Faber is. Well, Nick is like Urijah except not quite as buff and without a butt-chin. Also, Nicks hair is shorter... like military short. Nick also laughs a lot. He's not the funniest guy in the world, but you know he has a great sense of humor because he laughs at all of the best jokes. He has a high-pitched laugh, as well, so that might also increase his female magnetism.

For a while, I thought that girls just looked at him like he was a lovable teddy bear or maybe a really cute cousin that they were allowed to kind of flirt with, but that's it. No kissing or necking allowed. Recently, I found out that Nick gets more action than I do. For some reason, if Nick and I do something equally offensive, I get dirty looks and groans, but Nick gets eyes batted at him followed by a late night smooch session.

I'm sure most of you have played the game "I Never", but I'll sum up the objective. Chairs and sofas are arranged in a circle so there are only enough seats for everyone, minus one. Kind of like a musical chairs scenario. The person standing in the middle of the room says something like, "I've never seen any television on DVD." Then, everyone who HAS seen TV on DVD must jump up and quickly sit in a different place. The person in the middle will also try to get a seat, leaving another individual standing in the middle of the room.

We play that game pretty often in our house, but we've discovered recently that it's also a good opportunity to reveal secrets about other people. If you've played this game, I'm sure you do the same thing. It gets pretty funny. For example, last night we were playing this game and I ended up in the middle. I looked around the room and noticed that three girls were present who had all made out with Aaron at different times over the last few months. So I said, "I've never made out with Aaron." I watched as these three girls slowly stood up while staring at each other and meandered to new seats. Everyone thought it was funny... except those three girls, of course.

Well, eventually, Jake gets into the middle and says, "I've never ran naked to the mailbox and back in the middle of the night on a dare." Then he immediately looks at Nick. Nick starts to blush and walks to the middle of the room while Jake moseys over to his vacant seat. I watched everyone laughing and then I observed at least two, but I'm pretty sure there were three, different girls looking at Nick from head to toe as he walked to the middle of the room. I noticed their gazes pausing for longer than necessary in the region between his naval and his knees. I thought, "Those girls are totally picturing his junk."

Nick stood in the middle of the room for about 20 seconds just "hmmm"ing like he couldn't think of what he was going to say. All the while, these hot girls are checking him out and totally light petting him in their minds. Then Nick thinks of something and it was exactly what I was hoping for.

"I've never climbed our peach tree naked in the middle of the night on a dare..." it was me... we had both taken similar dares a few days ago in the middle of the night. It was my turn to walk to the middle and let the girls check me out. Except then Nick finished his sentence, "... and then scraped my wiener on a branch as I climbed down." He started walking toward me even though I had decided I didn't want to get up anymore. All of the girls were looking at me in disgust... like the mental image Nick had given them was the most obscene and vile thing they had ever heard.

I got up slowly and went to the middle of the room, but the game stopped being fun for me after that. Nick and I took similar dares on Thursday night. Mine resulted in an injury that I didn't ever want to talk about... so I didn't. Nick did. Nick was the one who brought it up. Not me. For the first time in a long time, I was considerate of our mixed gender guests and chose to keep it to myself. So why was Nick the one who got to make out last night with one of the hottest girls in our singles ward?

Calvin