Friday, May 15, 2009

Supplemental - Tori

10/18/09

Then, out of nowhere [my dad] says, "Oh, hey... I've got something for you, Son." He goes into the dining room and grabs his brief case. He pulls out two pieces of paper stapled together and hands them to me.

I asked, "What's this?" to which he replied, "It's the resume of the new receptionist I was telling you about."

[...]

I told my dad something like, "Well, she looks good on paper. We'll have to see how she performs under pressure."

[...]

"So when are you going to come in here so I can meet you?" I almost soiled myself right then and there.

[...]

What if I date Tori for awhile and then things don't go well and I decide to stop dating her? It's gonna be hard to avoid and ignore her if she's answering the phone every time I call my dad.

10/22/2009

C: Hello Tori. This is Calvin Lynn Marler. How are you today?
T: Well, I'm doing just great Calvin Lynn Marler. (giggling) Is that really your middle name?

[...]

C: My grandpa used to call me Leaky Lynn when I was six or seven cause I still wet the bed. It's possible that I've just been in a constant state of embarrassment for the last 15 years and so I've avoided saying it aloud. I'm getting better though.

[...]

C: That depends on if you're done flirting with me.
T: What? I wasn't flirting.
C: Tori... I think we both know that you were about to ask me out for the weekend, but you decided against it cause it's Thursday and you didn't want me to know that you didn't already have plans.

10/26/2009

Well, my dad called me from work on Friday and told me that Tori had called in sick with "flu-like symptoms".

[...]

So anyway, I went up to my dad's house last night with a bottle of Tropicana Twister and a small card. I told him to leave them on Tori's desk so she'd get it this morning when she got to work.

[...]

This is what I really wrote:

"You canceled cause of the Swine Flu? How cliche. I expect to see a dr.'s note when we finally go on our date. Don't worry though. I had a great time at the Haunted House with your friends. I think your short blonde friend likes me... like... more than a friend."

October 29, 2009

She sent me a text that said, "You're so sweet, Calvin. I can't wait to meet you." That's how she typed it, as well. It wasn't, "Ur so sweet, Cal. I cnt wait 2 meet U." Thank goodness she spells out her texts like I do.

[...]

"Why not Pine or Vanilla-roma?" My answer was, "I've tried those, but none of them mix well with my cologne." I love her laugh.



Oh, by the way, my dad took three photo's of her with his camera phone and emailed them to me. She's pretty hot. And I don't mean "hot" as a degrading term. I mean she's hot, like, smokin'.

November 2, 2009

"What's the problem?" My reply: "Yeah. When I open your door, I'm going to have to let go of your hand. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that yet."

[...]

When we got to her house, we ended up just sitting in the driveway talking. Tori lives with her parents and siblings so we didn't really have anywhere else to go.

[...]

She hesitated for a few seconds and then asked, "Will you come inside with me and play with my hair while I fall asleep?"

[...]

She smelled like toothpaste. I don't think I'll ever forget that. She kept telling me how much fun she had on our date. She told me that I'm better than my dad had said. She told me that I'm hilarious. She told me that she can't wait to see me again.

November 6, 2009

So it was, (looking at Tori) "If you don't have to get back to work, Calvin, you should take Tori to lunch" (not bad so far, but then he switched his gaze to me) "She likes Greek food, don't you Tori?" Tori started laughing like crazy.

[...]

"Did you tell your dad to say that?" I was like, "I have no idea what you're talking about." She started laughing and asked, "What are you gonna do if your dad isn't around? How are you ever gonna make any moves?"

[...]

Tori said, "Go ahead then. Make a move, Calvin." It was short and it tasted like Greek food and Sprite, but it was pretty awesome.

[...]

She had already committed to a farewell party for one of her guy friends and she said she'd forgotten about it because of my amazing womanizing and kissing technique.

[...]

November 9, 2009

She was apologizing profusely for canceling our date(s) last weekend. She asked if I'd come over after church and hang out... maybe play some games with her family.

[...]

Then I thought, "Uh oh. What if they're one of those families who wear their church clothes all day long so they don't forget to keep the Sabbath Day holy?"

[...]

Tori and I engaged in some small talk for a little while during her stretching. It was pretty arousing to just sit there and watch her stretch. Tori said, "Can you help me with this one?". I said "sure" a little too loudly and fervently, cause her dad looked over to see what was going on.

[...]

As I stood there pushing her legs from side to side, I noticed her Track Bottoms were sliding down her legs, exposing her bare calves. After six or seven pushes, I was actually grabbing onto her bare legs with my hands... and I'm pretty sure my hands were cold and clammy. Blast.

[...]

What I DO know is that her dad kept glancing over as I was light petting his daughters legs below the knee.

[...]

She told me to bend my knees a little bit in order to get my legs up higher. Once my legs were as high as I could get them, Tori nudges my legs to the right and I totally flipped over. Not only did my legs hit the carpet... I couldn't even get them off the ground to the original position. Her mom and sister started laughing and then I heard her dad say, "What's so funny?" and I heard his freakin' Lay-Z-Boy chair fold up.

[...]

After I had been sufficiently mortified, Tori tells me that we're going for a jog and that's why she'd told me to wear comfortable shoes.

[...]

Before we even got out of her subdivision (and I'm not exaggerating), we passed three different guys who carried on 5 minute conversations with her while I was standing there... not being introduced.

November 16, 2009

I didn't really object to the spelunking idea. I've never made out in a cave before and it sounded kind of fun. Something about the dark and moist atmosphere makes me think it must be fairly conducive to making out.

[...]

Her circle of friends consists of two other girls and about 15 guys. When all the guys started rolling up in their cars, I start looking around and counting all the dudes on my fingers which were strategically placed in my pockets.

[...]

Then some dweeb with huge pecs and a tight shirt started making carpool assignments. He had assigned Tori and I to different vehicles. I can't even tell you how tempted I was to just get in my truck and drive home.

[...]

I don't get claustrophobic so I was fine with the close quarters, but I don't think I even saw Tori in that damn cave. I was squeezing past all of these dudes trying to find Tori to score a bitchin' cave smooch. I think my clothed genitalia brushed up against at least 75% of the guys in that stupid cave... but never with Tori.

November 18, 2009

She texted me pretty late last night and asked if I'd come over and "put [her] to sleep". I guess that means "play with my hair while you sit in an uncomfortable position by my bed and I fall asleep to your gentle yet amazingly masculine touch".

[...]

Tori's lamp was still on, but she looked at me just as she was drifting off and said, "So, what do you think of my friends." I answered, "They all seem pretty awesome." Then Tori's eyes get really wide and she sits up in bed. "So then why did you look to the right?" I was, like, "What do you mean?"

[...]

I decided I didn't want to have a serious conversation that late at night so I said, "Really? I didn't realize it was that easy to tell that someone is lying. By the way, I think you're ugly." Then I looked to the right.

November 30, 2009

Tori invited me over on Friday night to watch ELF. I was pretty excited because I really dig Zooey and I figured I could probably roll around with Tori one final time before I ended things... either formally or abstractly.

[...]

I was looking forward to our last make out. I was actually looking forward to it more because she would have no idea that it was our last make out... but I would. I was going to be able to enjoy it on a totally different level.

[...]

In the center of the room were about 6 beanbags, dozens of pillows and blankets, 8 guys and 5 girls in the most absurd and ridiculous looking group cuddle session in the history of the world.

[...]

I sat down by myself on the love seat and watched this cuddle group for about 15 minutes. It was honestly the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.

[...]

She apologized profusely, claiming she didn't even know I had arrived and wasn't aware of my presence until she saw me get up to leave.

[...]

I told her exactly how stupid and immature she was around her friends.

[...]

Tori told me how she's flirty by nature, but promised me that she only kisses "one guy at a time". She said that I was the only guy she kisses... currently. She promised me that all of the other guys are only her friends.

[...]

She started crying at one point... so I got in my truck and drove away. So much for the much anticipated final make out. Blast!

January 2, 2010

Tori called me on Wednesday. She said she was going to a New Year's party on Thursday night and thought my roommate, Nick, might get along with her friend, Jennifer.

[...]

I kept seeing Tori staring at me in my above-average and finely tuned peripheral vision.

[...]

I also knew if I started talking to her then I'd miss any other opportunity to snog anyone else at midnight. After about an hour, Tori got the hint and started focusing on Aaron... which kind of pissed me off.

[...]

Then [Tori] wrapped her arms around his neck and started making out with him right in front of everyone. Seriously... it was disgusting. Everyone was screaming and laughing like it was the greatest thing in the world, but it was really just gross.

[...]

When we were driving home the next morning, Aaron told me that he and Tori had made out for most of the night. Awesome, Aaron. Thanks for telling me that.

9 comments:

Lauren said...

I will say it again.

I like Tori. She wins at life.

Bekah said...

oops. forgot to click on "tori"
but now i did

Here I am, giving you props

kelleidoscope said...

Tori seems great. You found a catch.

Melissa said...

I am liking the supplementals. Good work team.

Amy said...

I agree with Lauren.

Tori completely wins at life. You better make that date amazing.

Allison said...

Um.. Tori? Will you please be my best friend?

Alexandra said...

I agree, these supplementals are good stuff.
And I like this current color scheme, at 5:40 PM. Just in case you change it and later wonder which color scheme I'm talking about.

YMA said...

Yes, I am liking the supplements as well. And really!? this Tori thing started back in May? Wow, either I have missed a whole heck of a lot or that is a painfully long time just to get things started. Geesh, I'm hoping I missed a lot cause that means more reading while I wait for the update on the date with Tori :)

Natalie said...

tropicana=the way to a females heart.

unless her name's natalie.

then sprinkles cupcakes, ftw.