Supplimental - Monetize?

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I heard the word "monetize." I didn't quickly reach for my [your dictionaries name and link here] to figure out what it meant. I just kind of assumed... in fact come to think of it I still haven't looked it up, so I'll really be embarrassed if this post has nothing to do with it's definition.

We have received a barrage of emails suggesting and offering to help us monetize our blog. This idea is of course exciting to Calvin and I because occasionally Aaron or Nick (who both work full time) will ask if I want to go to [your restaurants name here] and I have to sullenly look at the ground and say, "No, I'm broke." So, if the question is, "Do you guys want to make money off of your blog?" the answer is of course, "Yes."

However, our intention in starting this blog is still the same and we do not want to sacrifice it's purpose for the sake of making a little dosh. What is the purpose of our blog you may ask? Why, a honest focus on the modern Mormon male and his trek through the real world of course. More specifically documenting our life experiences, thoughts on dating, and life in general, and how all of those things are influenced by our testimonies in the Gospel of Jesus Christ as taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And, in addition to doing all that, doing it in an entertaining way.

We definitely don't want to dedicate entire posts to giveaways, or to have to alter or change something in one of our stories to plug some random company that we clearly would have no business talking about. That would totally suck, but, Ma-a-a-a-an I gotta tell you guys that I totally love my Cricut personal cutting machine, it has changed my life and will change yours too if you simply go here and buy it... in fact buy 7 or 8 in case armageddon or something like that happens you could always use a Cricut personal cutting machine in your food storage so you can document the carnage of the end of the world - for others to read during the 1000 year millennium.

So, Calvin and I decided we would tread carefully in our endeavors to try and get something from what we are giving. The idea of t-shirts has been mentioned, and trust me we have heard you. We expect to be releasing them in the next week or so. However, we have heard from others that this usually isn't a very lucrative endeavor. We don't care though, in reality the first time I show up to an indoor soccer game at [your indoor soccer arena's name here] and some girl is wearing one of my shirts or I go to pick a girl up for a date and she is wearing one will very possibly be the best day of my entire life. If I had the money, I would pay people to wear MBP shirts just to have one of the aforementioned experiences. But, I digress.

I have talked to a lot of people and a lot of companies and have discovered that this monetizing is harder than it sounds or should be. First of all nobody wants to do anything for nothing and one of the things we haven't changed for the sake of anonymity is that we are broke. We have tried the whole, "We'll pay you a percentage of what you help us make." reasoning and have for the most part been laughed at by all professionals.

I overheard a rich guy I know talk about this Marketing company called XO Marketing. So I called them. They have been awesome and extremely helpful in spite of our poverty. More importantly they are willing to work with "Jake from the Mormon Bachelor Pad" without fussing over my actual identity. They did a pretty cool focus group on our blog that I will have to post another time... it's pretty funny though to hear what strangers thought of us.

XO referred us to a internet marketing company called Dream Systems Media. Unfortunately, this particular company made a huge deal about our anonymity. They would not work with us. In order to get them to talk to us we had to find an attorney who could start a business for us, and would act on our behalf and communicate in our place to keep us anonymous, but to still allow us to sign like non-disclosure contracts and have a bank account and crap.

It took a few days of phone calls before I found an Attorney. Apparently, the BAR requires all attorneys to do a certain amount of "pro bono" work every year. So this Attorney, who's son loves our blog, and who was pretty amused by our overly optimistic outlook agreed to represent us on the percentage of future profits idea. When we fail, he will just consider it part of his pro bono work. Lucky? Perhaps, but lucky for who? We get legal counsel, but he is one of the five people on earth who know our real identities.

It was pretty cool sitting in our Attorneys office calling Dream Systems Media for the first time, because it made me feel like I had actually made something of myself - until later I caught myself trying to sell [your satellite or cable TV company here] to our Attorney... Anyway, Dream Systems Media is still being kind of babies and admitted that though our snowballing hits are impressive, we, and I quote, "...are a very low priority." Which I would totally complain about, except that we are trying to do something on some sort of trade with them, too, which means we don't pay them right away... so what can we expect?

All Calvin and I know for sure is that the fun of writing this blog far far far outweigh the money we could make doing it. From what I can tell, blogs that make money, make like $40-100 a month or something, which would be so amazing! Just think of how many times we can hit up [your fast food restaurants name here] dollar menu with that kind of cash. However, missing out on it wouldn't keep us from having cable or anything so it's really no big deal.

Jake