Thursday, September 3, 2009

Aaron

All Calvin and I ever do is talk about ourselves on this blog. While our roommates have some pretty great stuff going on. Since my story with Andrea is getting to be what I call "relationship boring" I decided to write about a little experience I had with Aaron.

Last night Aaron and I went rollerskating with a huge group of LDS singles. There was this really cute girl there named Nicole. I was not with Andrea (in spite of the fact that we are not exclusive I'd still feel guilty if I sought out any other female attention). That doesn't mean I wouldn't like some said attention.

So, I was skating with Aaron and Nicole came up behind us never having met us, and smacked him on the butt. Aaron chased after her and left me in the dust. Aaron is a terrible wing man, I didn't know anyone so I just kind of skated around, grabbed some pizza and ended up stuck talking to these two really nice (overweight and pock-marked) girls.

The night wore on and I wanted to leave. Aaron was holding hands with this girl around the rink though, and I didn't want to ruin his game. I got lost texting Andrea for a bit, next thing I know they disappeared. I looked everywhere. They were nowhere to be found. Then I went to see if the car was still there. It was, and all the windows were fogged.

What was I supposed to do? My patience was a little thin, so I tapped on the window. I heard muffled talking and giggling. Then Aaron opened the door. His 5:00 shadow had left a red circle around Nicole's face. She smiled embarrassingly. Aaron said, "Dude, ready to go home?" I nodded. Nicole climbed into the front seat and fastened her seat-belt. I realized she must be coming with us. We started driving home, and we were talking about... whatever, and I called Aaron by name. She looked at him and said "Your name is Aaron?" She put her hand over her mouth as Aaron got this stunned look on his face. She started laughing and said, " Oh my gosh it was so loud in there I thought you said your name was Brian? I even called you Brian a few times." Aaron sort of laughed, but he was bugged. I could see it on his face.

We got home I went to the TV room and "Brian" and Nicole went into his room. I sat watching Family Guy marveling jealously at Aaron's skills. He met a girl and no less then two hours later, made out with her without her even knowing his name. I know that that will never, ever happen to me. There's no way.

This morning Nicole joined us for breakfast and told me that she was going to school to be a mortician. So, sure she's a little weird, but I still sorta wished that morning that I had Aaron's good looks. Damn the pretty people.

Jake

22 comments:

Billy Reano said...

Sometimes that might be cool to know you have the power to woo any girl, but specifically in this situation, I would like to know that the girl that's kissing back knows who I am.

I ain't no boy toy, girl, so quit tryin' to turn me on.

f1trey said...

no worries dude.....more bagging just means .....more baggage! LOL...seriously.....sex disguised as love is a common hollow theme.....let Brian enjoy.....you should be concerned with getting a pair of jeans that says "smack here" on your butt and work on those rollerblading skills......

Kelly said...

Good times, noodle salad.

Andee said...

SO...random question. Do any of the people that comment on this blog know who any of you are?

Angie said...

There are a ton of opposite sex sleepovers going on with this "typical Mormon bachelor pad". Maybe I'm totally naive, but does that really happen that often?! Do these kids know that is totally against the rules? I don't care whether you have sex or not, sleeping over with a member of the opposite sex is totally not okay by the church's standards. Right?

(Hoping people don't savagely attack me for saying this...)

Billy Reano said...

Pardon my blunt perspective, but I guess these guys justify "sleeping over" as "Hey, we're not having sex, so anything before getting nakey is okay."

Morgan Green said...

Is this the new equivalent of mormon one-night-stands?!?!?! Whatta Skank. haha

Anyway, I love that you guys are always ranking girls (and yourselves), so I have a nifty blog post idea for you...

Post pics of all the roomates, you don't have to put your names under them or anything. And then create a survey at polldaddy.com

You guys should havey your readers rank you.

I think that could be fun, don't you?

Lyss said...

I agree with Angie. No more opposite sex sleepovers! Even if there is no sex going on.

Kristin Lee said...

A mortician? creepy. also, I didn't expect to be reading a one night stand on this blog (if that's what it was)...I'll be honest...I laughed...BUT THAT'S BAD. Haha.

Anonymous said...

I think we're getting what the writers have coined "the unattractive truth" here folks.

I've always felt like a pretty typical Mormon, and 10 years ago I was a bachelor living in Provo. We had 8 guys living in our house. Over the 4 years I lived in that house with the probably 25 guys who lived there during that time I would say more then half of them were comfortable with sleepovers. Yes, against BYU rules, but church rules??? I don't know.

Another example was when I went on my first single adult ward camp out... I thought there would be boys sides and girls sides, like at youth conference, but no. People just slept where they wanted, coed tents and everything.

Sleeping in a bed with a member of the opposite sex, and kissing them I would say is NOT against the law of chastity. However, the guys who were comfortable with coed sleepovers were also the ones more often missing the sacrament and getting married civilly.

I don't think it is a WISE practice, but surely it isn't a CONDEMNED one.

-Blazzer

That Chick said...

Have to agree with Blazzer. Sounds like its something that some people can handle better than others. You'd just have to be super careful with it. Personally, I don't see a problem with it if there are plenty of other people around, such as a camp out or something, but when you start getting into the closed bedroom door kind of stuff, Ehh, Not so sure about that. Its a little iffy.

Amy said...

NICOLE= SLUT

That's all there is to it. What a hoebag.

Dawn said...

Oh my. She's crazy. Or perhaps "Brian" is. Goodness. However, I couldn't help but picture my "significant other" while reading this, as his name is Aaron. We are exclusive, but I'm sure he would like some attention now and then to..you know, a little boost of confidence (and ego). I think you guys would get along. You could sit and talk about how all the other guys get semi-psycho girls who can't keep track of human nomenclature.

Girl Meets Gun said...

Damn the pretty people, indeed, my friend.

Good to know some dudes have restraint. I certainly have no restraint for myself, and I haven't met a guy yet that has any either.

So decent guys do exist. :)

Elise said...

Hello, you have the most fabulously wonderful site here and I had to leave this comment for you ! Your posts are beautifully written, creative and original too, and you have interesting pictures.

It's all perfect !

Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes.... 'Happy September'....

Elise said...

Hello, you have the most fabulously wonderful site here and I had to leave this comment for you ! Your posts are beautifully written, creative and original too, and you have interesting pictures.

It's all perfect !

Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes.... 'Happy September'....

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Hey everybody! Elise likes our blog and thinks our posts are "beautifully written". She even thinks our pictures are interesting.

Either Elise is retarded, or she just pastes the same comment into as many blogs as she possibly can.

Thanks Elise!

Rachel said...

YOU SLUT!!! Whatever happened to "respecting women, girls, and children"? Or were you both too stupid to memorize The Young Mens Theme?

Anonymous said...

woot! rachel you are officially jmy favorite! in all truthfulness doesn't sound like the girl was respecting herself much either.

~chloe

Sara said...

I think that, from now on, you have one more regular reader!

Thank you for following my blog :)

Mormon Bachelorette Pad said...

AMEN Rachel and Chloe!!!! Nicole sounds slimy, but she sure isn't the only one. Nasty.

Anonymous said...

I bet you're more handsome than you give yourself credit. Hello, "6 days of facial hair growth."

And, aren't you mack-daddying girls in every one of your posts? Mmmhmmm.