Last night (actually early this morning) all of the roommates were sitting in the front room talking about girls... you know... Brittany, Andrea, Harper, Emily, Joey, Becky and Nicole. Out of nowhere, Lance says, "Well, I better go to bed. I have to get drunk tomorrow."
Turns out Lance's cousin is in the police academy and tomorrow is the Field Sobriety Test day or something. Apparently the instructor asked the recruits to round up 6 or 7 guinea pigs to come in at 9 am, get drunk on free, government supplied alcohol (probably confiscated from minors), and then let the whole Academy class practice all of the field sobriety tests on them.
We asked Lance if he was serious and he said he was completely serious. He said, "I don't even think I'll feel guilty. I mean, it's for the greater good, right? I'm going to help train police officers so they can catch bad guys who are breaking the law. I think Heavenly Father might even be proud of me for doing this for His children." We all kind of laughed nervously and then Lance left to go to bed... but we kept talking about it for a while after he left. Is that actually a Word of Wisdom loophole?
Nick started to agree with Lance, but then I said, "There are plenty of people who don't consider 'drinking alcohol' to be a sin. Shouldn't they be the ones doing this whole training thing?" Then Jake said, "So instead of having an LDS person drinking, they should be trying to get other people to do it? Either way, they're encouraging other people to sin." Nick's argument was probably the best, though. He said, "The whole reason alcohol is against the Word of Wisdom is because it lowers our inhibitions and it makes us more likely to commit OTHER sins that we wouldn't have committed otherwise. Alcohol, by itself, isn't a big deal. It's the poor choices that often are made while under the influence that really get people into trouble."
Then someone else said that they'd heard you don't even have to confess Word of Wisdom stuff to your bishop. I'd never realized that... mostly because I've never had any issues with the Word of Wisdom. I'm not even sure if that's true. But if it IS true, does that mean that people who smoke and drink don't have to tell the bishop as part of the repentance process? That doesn't sound right. Especially because 'harmful drugs' are also included in there and it seems like shooting heroin into your veins is something you should probably talk to your bishop about... but maybe I'm wrong.
I know they ask you specifically in the Temple Recommend interview so I know it matters that much, at least.
It seems like in my last Temple Recommend interview, the bishop asked, "Do you try to obey the Word of Wisdom?" If I went with Lance this morning, drank a shot and a half of whiskey, got totally plastered, and then went in for my interview this Sunday, I could honestly answer 'yes' to that question. "Yes. I do try to obey the Word of Wisdom."
I might even be able to rationalize my way out of feeling guilty by convincing myself that the reason I got drunk was so that no other innocent soul had to.