Brittany is getting pretty pushy. I'm trying to decide if she's naive or manipulative. Her two children would lead me to believe she's not a naive person. But then again, maybe it's her naivety that has gotten her into a situation where she has two children with two different guys.
I should clarify briefly (and I'm not really sure if this even matters) that Brittany had her son out of wedlock when she was 17. Then she got married when she was 19 to a different guy, had her daughter, and then got divorced. So even though there are two dads, her actions weren't completely off-the-deep-end slutty or anything... I don't think. But I can't really trust my opinion of her since I'm directly involved in my relationship with her.
She really likes me to sleep over. A couple of readers have alluded to, and even said straight out, that Brittany needs someone in order to be happy. She's had a man in her life pretty much non-stop since she was 17 years old and I just happen to be the guy that's in her life now. I don't mind being that guy. But I don't like the insinuation that Brittany is using me. I guess it's possible, but there are guys out there much hotter than me who could be spooning Brittany every night instead of me, but they aren't. I am.
I've been able to remain in control up to this point in our relationship. I admitted in a previous post that the line I've drawn for myself is probably a couple notches further than the line you've drawn for yourself. It has become abundantly clear to me over the last week that Brittany's line is a couple of notches past my own line. Remember that scale I used a couple of weeks ago? Then one where "holding hands" is a 1 and "full blown intercourse" is a 10? Well, I'm pretty comfortable in the 4 to 5 range. If I've been dating a girl for a little while and I'm really into her (actually... that doesn't really matter) then I've been known to delve into the 6's. I've hit an 7 twice in my life, but Brittany seems to be pushing for an 8 or an 8.5. That's pretty far out of my comfort zone. It's definitely in my "I wish like crazy I didn't have a Testimony" zone, but not in my comfort zone.
I'm always the one who stops the heated horizontal progression. Never her. She's even seemed irritated a couple of times that I stop things at a 5 instead of waiting till we hit a 6 or a 6.5. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Actually, maybe I do know what I'm trying to say.
I've dated a lot of girls in my life and I've always felt safe with them because I know they share my value system. I know they won't let me go too far and I won't let them go too far. Brittany is only the second girl in my life who I know for a fact wouldn't stop me if I decided to go all the way. That puts a lot of pressure on me. It means that it's only my self control that is keeping me safe. Nobody else's but my own. I don't know how long I can hold out.