Thursday, September 10, 2009

Gossip Guys

When I started this blog several months ago, I knew we would get some mixed reactions. Initially, I wanted this blog to be an honest look into the minds and the attitudes of Mormon guys in their early 20's, who are trying to figure out who they are and what they want. I didn't know (and still don't know) how the blog was going to evolve. What will this blog be like a month from now? A year from now? I have no idea.

A couple of things surprised me. As I look at our 82 Followers, I can't help but notice that 67 of them are women. Five of them are guys... and the other 10 could go either way. If Jake and I didn't insist on remaining anonymous, this blog would be a great way to meet chicks.

I don't know why our female following surprised me. In retrospect, it makes sense that our blog would be more appealing to women, right? I mean, women want to know what guys are thinking and this blog helps them to figure that out. I'm glad. I'm also thrilled that we have a few male followers who can support us (through their comments) when we need it, but can also provide advice with a "been there, done that" attitude. It's been very insightful, to say the least.

The other thing that has surprised me is how seemingly jealous and protective certain guys get about the things we're revealing. I can almost hear them screaming, "NO CALVIN! DON'T LET THEM SEE THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!" One of those guys has dedicated an entire paragraph on his own blog to mocking us. I'm pretty sure his name is Josh and his belittling comments can be found by clicking these four words.

Josh has taken it upon himself to define what a "man" is. Although I agree with most of his definition, I (of course) have a problem with the "stoic" part. Sure, Josh, men are supposed to appear stronger and emotionless. But what type of woman does that kind of "man" attract? Probably a stripper. No offense if your wife was a stripper. "Hey everyone! Look at me! I'm a real man because I can watch the Michael Keaton movie, My Life without crying. Also, when I smash my thumb with a hammer, I swear instead of cry cause I have a penis and that's what real men do!"

And real men aren't supposed to gossip? C'mon, Josh. Seriously? Do you kiss and tell? I thought so. So do we. The difference is, nobody knows who we're kissing and telling about. When YOU were single and "kissed" and "told", all your guy friends took the same girl out hoping to score with her cause you told them she was easy. I think we're actually more manly than you used to be, Josh. We're trying harder to protect the women we interact with. Sure, we gossip. We tell stories. We brag, at times. But it ends with us. We don't pass the girls off to our friends, like you used to do.

And as for stealing the "slobbering diary of a gay teen still in the closet", Aaron took personal offense at that statement. He's in his room right now crying into his pillow.

Calvin

51 comments:

f1trey said...

well...i guess i am the minority male...... keep up the good work.... im doing my part on my end.....giving a little insight into love and dating... Preciate the candidness you guys bring....

Jon said...

Tell Aaron there's a whole world of gay mormon bloggers waiting to welcome him with open arms.

CarrieBradshaw* said...

I personally (and could probably speak for most girls) love a man who isn't afraid to show his vulnerable side. It shows humility, which is "becoming as a child" as the scriptures teach, right? The whole "tough guy" act doesn't fool anyone. And especially with relationships, if a guy shows emotion it brings so much relief for us knowing we aren't the only one who cares about the relationship. This doesn't mean, on the other hand, that he needs to be telling me every second how he is feeling. It can definitely be overdone, but doesn't that same rule apply for women? There is a happy medium in everything. But I don't think a guy needs to "act" like anything. Just be yourself. And I just have to throw this out there. I couldn't even get through Josh's blog post. He's an ignorant a**hole. (edited for your viewers discretion :))

That Chick said...

wow. that guy... douchebag much.

i don''t find anything wrong with the way you write. And having dated both guys like that one, who consider themselves "real men," and super sissy ones as well, i prefer something more in between.

i am always amused by guys like that who consider themselves experts though. most of the time they're just a**holes.

(B) said...

I personally love your blog. I find it incredibly refreshing and if I was Mormon and possibly a few years younger I would probably consider dating both of you. Plus, I have no qualms with your horizontal make-outs. I wish all guys would expect things to stop at the making out. Alas, I'm not Mormon and my blog is most likely offensive to you.

However, I still thoroughly enjoy your perspective on dating. It's fascinating.

Amy said...

I'm with everything Carrie said. If a man thinks he's too tough and can't express his feelings or show emotion to a woman, then how will she TRULY know if she is loved by him? Huh?

Whoever that guy is that wrote about you--- I feel like kickin him in his man parts, so he can go hide in a dark hole and cry where no one can see him. That way, he can still be seen as a 'real man'. Hahaha. Was that a little too much? Probably not. That guy can suck it.

But ya, on a more positive and warm-fuzzy note, your blog is great, and obviously your blog wouldn't attract so many women if we didn't like men sharing their emotion. Like DUH.
:]

Steven said...

I'm a dude... and I find your blog interesting. It takes me back to the days of dating and it makes me laugh.
I also know what it's like to come back from a mission and get into the dating, working, school, ect.
I don't think you should waste your time on a post like Josh. Afterall he IS sensitive enough to BLOG right.

Kristin Lee said...

I agree with Carrie and Amy. It's definitely a turn on when a guy can open up and be vulnerable.

Alexis! said...

I would imagine more women blog than men, for one, which could affect your follower ratio. To be honest as well, if two Mormon women were doing this, I'd follow them too. Just the concept is crazy to me, and why I follow; not because you're guys.

20 Something said...

I love your blog, I think it is because your open and honest and real men that you have so many followers, readers and people who comment. Josh's blog was demeaning and made me want to puke.

Good on you for standing up for your blog, and yourself's and not just sitting back and taking crap.

Let's be honest, you probably want a girl who is open and honest to. You guys being open and honest and vulnerable is going to attract the same kind of girl.

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
(B) said...

Ummm... wow. I guess the person above doesn't give people credit for evolving over time.

I'm no prude, and 99.99% of men are complete pervs, but still, there are guys who are LEGITIMATELY sincere with their feelings without being a pansy. I was engaged to one, and he was as far from a pansy as it gets.

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

Dang. Everyone has their right to share their opinion. But that was a little intense. You must've had a bad experience in life if you feel that strongly about it Nikki.
Just saying. That's fine if you don't like men sharing their emotion, but when they do, it doesn't make them GAY. That's the stupidest thing I've heard.

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

Nikki, of course some of us take it seriously. I think the majority of readers who reply to your comments in disagreement don't find sarcasm in them. I can't speak for everyone though. You're just extremely blunt when you write, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's actually quite entertaining!(no sarcasm) :]

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Girl Meets Gun said...

I'll guarantee a part of all the female followers has something to do with the fact that rarely do you find men sitting at a computer, reading a blog about another person's life. My own boyfriend doesn't even read my blog, and he sits next to me when I write! Doesn't even GLANCE at it.

But it is interesting to read. :) Fuck that other dude (excuse my French). REAL men cry.

H.K. said...

I read an article that says that 90% of bloggers are women, so that will explain why you get more female followers.

Real men aren't afraid to cry and wear a facial mask right after an playing an intense h.s. football game! It helps my son to relax right before he goes to sleep and he has great complexion.

Love your blog, find it very entertaining!

Kelly said...

Nikki-Wow.

That's all....

Rachel said...

Wow. Josh should thank you for sending all the traffic his way. His readership for that entry probably increased 2,000%. He sounds kinda like one of those guys who means well, but he lets outrageous, extreme right-wing talk radio do his thinking for him. I'd bet five bucks he has a "Less Government, More Freedom" or "Charlton Heston is My President" bumper sticker on his truck (no offense to card-carrying members of the NRA... go 2nd Ammendment).
Anyway, here's some tempered validation:
Your blog is funny. It's entertaining. Jake's makeouts read like the steamy scenes of "Twilight." Nice Mormon girls like me are attracted to good boys who have some potential to be bad, but keep it under control.
Anyway, it's a fun blog. Go you. I will admit, there are times when it takes a lot of self control for me to not go all RSP in the comment section here and say, "Jake, make Andrea your legit gf already. She's got a good head on her shoulders, and she'll give in where she can, but she'll keep you in check as well. She's good for you, and it sounds like you're good for her too." Or, "Calvin! Stop staying the night! I know I sound puritanical, "brainwashed" from my years following BYU's Honor Code, and I know you think it's ok that your line is a few steps beyond mine, but be careful. Better safe than sorry!" But I guess no one is looking for another mother, and I already have a hundred singles to mother in my branch.
Regardless, stay good. Stay true to yourselves. Keep making out with the girls and telling us about it, but just be a little careful. Your faithful readers aren't judging, but rooting for you. But thanks for letting us judge poor Josh. Rush Limbaugh loves his blog, I'm sure.

Cait said...

I adore your blog!
This Josh character is an ignorant ogre with outdated ideas about gender roles. I feel very sorry for his wife.
There is no such thing as a "real man" anyway. It's all made-up silly pretension. Everyone ought to simply be who they are, regardless of whether or not that fits into some old-fashioned cookie-cutter defination of masculinity or femininity.
Rock on Calvin and Jake!

Mormon Bachelorette Pad said...

Real men don't cry? Are you kidding me? I definitely agree with what you said, Calvin.

As for the "female following", the reason behind that probably has more to do with the huge population of female bloggers. I only know a few guys who blog, and they aren't even that consistent. I guess for the most part it is something girls have adopted. I'm not sure why it is that way, but I'm glad there are more guys picking it up!

Mormon Bachelorette Pad said...

Also, I agree wholeheartedly with what Rachel said... amen, girl!

♥-Kaylee

Steven said...

People need to learn that Nikki is a major bucket of anal lube! It's really best to ignore her comments completely and then maybe she'll get bored and go away. Arguing with her only brings on more dumb statements, and complimenting her is even worse!

Anonymous said...

I read this blog because mormons are ridiculous and fun to laugh at. But this is the first post where you don't sound like a total idiot and said a few things that make sense. Good post.

Nikki said...
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Calvin said...

Wait a second, Anonymous 5:06pm... are you saying that you make fun of Mormons? Gasp. Good thing you're anonymous or else I may have to come toilet paper your house and then help you clean it up in the morning.

Amy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Calvin....such a Mormon joke. :]

Anonymous said...

Oh please oh please somebody say nikki's name again so she can fly off the handle and impose upon us her amazing wisdom and superior knowledge of life and the real world. I am so ignorant and hilarious that I would love for her to say "No offense girlies" again and then purposely go out of her way to offend as many people as possible.

Oh, please someone anyone... say her name. I miss her genius.

Too bad so sad that I am posting anonymously, because the great nikki would never ever attack an anonymous commenter for being cowardly or anything cliche like that.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Generally speaking, negative comments are better ignored, unless someone's trying to make a legitimate (and reasonably polite) point.

Great blog concept. . . I expect references to kegs of root beer and toga parties made of old garments.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 8:50 you hit it on the dot.

Bishop Liz

Calvin- This post was Epic, I loved it!!

Kalina said...

I often keep coming back to read the comments. They're often more entertaining than the blog itself!

I think every one should just leave Nikki alone or any other comments that you don't agree with. I have never read a comment in which she attacks someone's comments unless they attacked hers.

Nikki is not an "anal lube" and it's not nice to say that Steven has a porn addiction.

I end this comment from a well known phrase from Rodney King, "Can we all just get along?"

Joshua C said...
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Joshua C said...

ROCK ON NIKKI! I LOVE IT! (this is Josh's wife by the way-thanks for calling me a stripper, they have smokin' bodies)

Nikki said...

Calvin, could you please do something horizontal with Bishop Liz before she starts stalking you like an unpaid whore...oops she already does, my bad. But you should know the fact that she has no pic, is under an alias means she is fugly or a dude. So be careful. Sincerely, lubed up and ready to go!

Steven said...

Did you guys hear something?? It sounded like the spawn of satan. Guess it was nothing!

Calvin said...

Hey Josh. Take off your "Real-Man" goggles and read my post again. I never called anybody anything.

Do real men get offended as easily as you?

What did you think would happen when you called us out like you did? Let me quote your blog, in case you forgot: "And if somehow one of [you] girly little toads read this, sorry to brake it to you this way but its true."


ps Nice job posting the disclaimer on the sidebar of your blog. You're bound to get a few sympathy votes for that.

Amy said...

Honestly, once a person posts a comment on this blog, they're really sayin, "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!" *ding-ding-ding*

This has all become so dramatic. I think everyone should just shut up about this now...including me.
I'm gonna shut up. :]

Amy said...

It's like a WWF smackdown up in here. No joke.

A Woman Made of Dust said...

Although new to your blog, the few posts I read have been wonderful and I look forward to reading more of your thoughts and experiences.


WMD

Anonymous said...

bahaha. your blog does remind me of twilight. in the sense that some mormon girls love reading about the hot makeout sessions, etc. and while you might not like being related to twilight, consider it a compliment. because now i am going to read this much more often :] and really, despite everything that has been said, i think you do seem like you could be good guys and you are not girly or gay at all.

i say its like twilight ONLY because i think one of the main things that attracts people to the twilight series is the steamy romances. we all like reading that, and thats what you have here.

Anonymous said...

Dear Nikki the fact that I don't have a picture doesn't say I am fugly or a man, Just says I dont care enough to put one on here. Nikki you have a picture but you are still fugly and You look more manly then any woman I know.
I thought you were done talking to me, or you were going to attack me or something? Oh wait I still don't care

Bishop Liz

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joshua C said...

Calvin:
Email me
justicejoshuac@gmail.com

i i eee said...

Women are into blogging more than the dudes. We love any medium that lets us get away unscathed with our passive-aggressive behavior. That and girls can talk about this type of shiz for hours. And hours. AND HOURS. AND OMG SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY. Also, some of them really want a date. Just one date. Yeah, I remember what it was like to be 23. And bitter. I'm quite fond of the bad poetry I wrote during that period in my life.

I'm too lazy to read all the other comments, or to even bother clicking over to read what this Josh person wrote. But crying doesn't prove anything one way or another. Your mom cries.

Also, when it comes to men, female strippers don't have much of a preference. DON'T BRING THEM INTO THIS. It's all about the Benjamins, people. Or if you've got some real good dope, yo.

To argue back and forth that tears or gossip or whatever holds the definition of a real man, well, pointless, but just keep on kicking each other back and forth in the balls, y'all. *yawn* The hits get the clicks.

Taren said...

wow, i haven't read a comment thread this intense and idiotic since I watched Glen Beck talk about Mormons on youtube.

The most entertaining part of this blog is Nikki! Keep her around!

anna said...

um, no offense because i like you guys and everything. but i'm married to a true-blue-through-and-through guys' guy and he thinks blogging is for girls. that's all. and i think that's why i read your stuff.
thanks for being here.

The Singlutionary said...

I think that there are just more women online and women are more likely to follow and comment. Those are activities which create a sense of community which has typically been seen as a female thing.

Plus, there aren't a lot of good guy blogs out there.

And humor is not gender specific.

Ryan Hadlock said...

If you want some really good insight into relationships (and I fully realize you guys are very young and shouldn't be worried about marriage yet anyway) this translates really well for dating too, though there are some obvious differences that he points out, follow this facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/MakingHerHappy

or go to his blog - you can find it on his FB page. I promise this stuff is right. It does not take into consideration any religious views some of us following this blog might share, so you have to take that into consideration, but it's good stuff. And the guy is a total stud, so he doesn't come off like an a-hole like Josh. What the hell does a guy in Vernal know about relationships anyway? Hahahaha!

kel(LOVE)lie said...

Just consider me a "liberated female" because that guy is a total douche. Maybe, instead of dating a "real man", I should just date a brick. It would save me the time and effort of going through the "Stepford" routine. Seriously though, I would spend my entire life celibate before I would look twice at that blockhead. Keep on blogging!