Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bowling Shoes Girl

I wasn't very popular in high school. I wasn't exactly UNpopular... I just kind of hovered in the middle somewhere. The jocks and cheerleaders didn't find me annoying... mostly because they didn't know I even attended the same school that they did. In my math class with Mr. Robson, there was a pretty hot Asian girl named Lacey. We were similar in high school social standing, but I still never talked to her. I remember one day, she came to class wearing bowling shoes. I eavesdropped as another guy, slightly more cool than me, asked her where she got her shoes. She laughed (sweetly) and said that she'd sluffed the previous period and had gone bowling, and had also decided to walk out with those shoes on. I instantly wanted to be her boyfriend. But of course I didn't say anything to her. Ever.

Until last night. Nick was going on a date with Raquel. Apparently, they were going to the university, pitching a tent and sleeping over so they could buy mega sweet parking passes this morning. Well, Raquel had another friend coming and Nick wanted me to sleep over with them so she didn't feel like a third wheel. He told me her name was Lacey. I didn't think much of it since there has to be at least 3 or 4 Laceys in Utah that are around my same age.

Nick and I went to pick up Raquel and when we got to her neighborhood, I started putting the pieces of the puzzle together in my brain. Raquel looked familiar when she got to the car and I remembered where I knew her from. She was a year older than me in high school . I also remembered seeing Raquel and "bowling shoes" Lacey together several times in the school hallways. I immediately got a knot in my stomach and thought I was gonna have diarrhea. (This is not an uncommon occurrence when I get nervous.) I was about to begin a date that I thought was a blind date, but was really with a girl I had a crush on in junior high and high school.

I walked up to Lacey's door, rang the bell, and prepared for the worst. However, to my surprise, Lacey answered the door and yelled, "Calvin!" and gave me a big hug... almost like she knew me from high school or something. Turns out she did.

We get to the university and Nick pulls out two tents. A boy tent and a girl tent. We throw all of our stuff into our respective tents and then we all congregate in the girls tent and start talking and eating Twizzlers and those nasty-ass Circus Peanuts. I'm being funny, of course, and Lacey is laughing like I'm the funniest person she's ever been around in her entire life. My confidence level is rising and my gurgling stomach is subsiding. Then Nick and Raquel stand up and say that they're going on a walk. However, after they leave the tent I distinctly hear OUR tent unzipping and then zipping up. I realize at that point that I'm probably gonna be in the girl tent all night. Lacey and I joked about that for a little while but neither one of us seemed that bothered. We talked for a couple of hours... me making jokes and Lacey laughing at them whether she thought they were funny or not.

At some point in our conversation I laid down on my side and held my head up with my hand. Lacey was laying next to me on her back. She kept readjusting her position by reaching for her water or grabbing some more licorice until her face was six inches from my own. Pretty clear Green Light, right? I thought so. I went in for a kiss and she grabbed my head and body fairly violently and pulled me on top of her. It was like I was her meatball sub at 6pm on a Fast Sunday. It happened so fast that I almost didn't even realize what was happening. Within the first 90 seconds, she had both of her hands on my butt cheeks. I didn't fight her off, mind you.

We made out for a while. Like... hours. On a scale from 1 to 10... 1 being holding hands and 10 being full-blown intercourse... Lacey and I hit a 6. Right as we started moving into the 7 range, Lacey paused, pushed me away from her face slightly and said, "I was hoping you'd choose me." Then she pulled me in again.

All you ladies who are reading this blog, take note. Everything Lacey did up until those six words was awesome. But please don't ever make the same mistake. My interest in Lacey dropped about a dozen notches. "Choose me"? Over who? Raquel? Do I have any other options here? How long was she "hoping" this? Since high school? Jr. High? Since 5 hours ago?

I got "sleepy" shortly thereafter and fell asleep. I kept my cool this morning, but I got out of there as soon as I could. It's kinda weird how that works. My image of "bowling shoes" girl peaked... and then was shattered in one brief encounter.

Calvin

14 comments:

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jaime said...

Ha! I stole bowling shoes in high school too! Random. I also had a similar experience with this guy in one of my wards. In the middle of our making out he pulled away and asked "So whats going here??" I said "We're making out" his reply was "That's it?"...needless to say I got out of his house and longboarded home as fast as I could & I didn't hang out with him again.

Ash Att said...

So..what your saying is "while making out, dont speak a word"? because if thats the case, i think my last nights make out session just hit the fan.well, i didnt say anything stupid or freaken wierd. but i did speak a word...woops?

Megs said...

first, i don't get what she meant by this. second, i don't get why it was a turn off. please explain....

That Chick said...

ohh, buddy. if she's been hoping for this, you may hear from her pretty soon. take care, regardless of how ferociously making out you were, she may come a knocking at your door again and hound you. watch out.

PS. i hope all the licorice didn't give you diarrhea.

Kelly said...

I am also very confused. Isn't it nice to hear something reassuring like she found you attractive and wanted to end up with you instead of the other guy? I think you're reading too much into her comment if you think she was going back to Jr High and btw you were the one who liked her right? You guys are so confusing...

Anonymous said...

all I get from this blog is that boys are confusing and are make out whores. I would like the boy I end up with to not have made out with every girl out there, thank you.

susana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Clearly Calvin is a man. One who is afraid of commitment, like every other man. For this girl to say something so binding, I'll be honest it would have freaked me out too.

Also, I don't think it's fair to call the MBP boys "make-out whores" I'm mean, in this instance she threw herself at him. I doubt there is an of age male with 10 miles of where I'm at right now that wouldn't have done what Calvin did under these circumstances.

Was he in it only for action? We don't know he didn't give us that info, however had she not presented herself as a bit crazy with her comment - yes lady's a comment like that, is a total turn off. Then Calvin may have persued a more serious relationship with her like we see Jake doing with Andrea..

One other note. Don't listen to Nikki guys. Though I do enjoy her comments and even her blog, your blog is not the forum to tackle "shock-value" topics for the sake of it all. At the end of the day your current strategy, telling a story and making commentary on relationships and religious issues works terrifically.

-Blazzer

Rebekah said...

Agreed. It's weird.

Anonymous said...

Soundtrack to your life -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i19DrZUr7u0
Ru

Chloe said...

I think this goes both ways.. I have had a guy say a similar thing to me, and it was like a switch went off. I instantly felt like the chase was over. I think we are all like that in some way. We want what we cant have, when we get it, we aren't quite sure what to do, and once the other person is more invested or says a comment like that..then its like.. oh .. interest gone. I am not saying that happens in EVERY situation. But I think when that does happen, you know its best to just end it there. When the right person comes along, and if they do say something like that, you won't even care.

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steven said...

I hot make out session with sooner than 90 second butt grabbing sounds like a smashing good time to me.
I would assume her reaction at the doorstep implied she WAS into you in Jr. High or High School.

Me being a guy I can understand why her "choose me" statement killed the mood. If she was going to say something it should have been:
1- Damn you're a great kisser.
2- Your gun is digging into my hip!
3- ...................... (nothing)

Any talk that requires any evaluation afterward is unwarranted!