Monday, August 24, 2009

Brittany's Baggage

I've been getting several emails a day from LDSmingle.com for the last couple of weeks. For a while, I didn't like the idea of finding a date over the internet, but it's so much easier than finding someone in person.

This girl, Brittany, and I have been exchanging emails daily. She's, by far, the coolest girl I've met online. She's got a little baggage, though. I guess everyone has baggage, but hers comes in the form of two children. Not that big of a deal, really, but they both have different dads, which means her baggage also includes two other guys. If both of the kids had the same father and the father was dead, then the only baggage would be the kids. Not the case with Brittany. The dads have partial custody so she's always coordinating visits and pickups and drop offs and crap.

Well, on Saturday our emails were getting pretty detailed. And they were happening in rapid succession. I'd send an email and about an hour later I'd have one back. Then I'd send my reply and then I'd get a reply. It pretty much sucked up my whole Saturday morning and afternoon. All of my roommates were coming and going, doing different things, but I was more interested in staying close to our computer.

At about seven o'clock Saturday night, Brittany and I began chatting since we figured it would be easier to communicate that way. It was pretty great. She was typing "lol" a lot. (Hopefully that means that I was really making her laugh.)

Then at about 10pm, she typed her phone number and told me to call her. I got really nervous... really fast. I was feeling like I was in my groove with the whole chat thing. I stalled for awhile... pretending I hadn't noticed. I changed the subject and made a few more jokes. Brittany kept telling me to call her. Finally, I told her that I was too scared to call her... which was true. She asked why and I told her the truth. What if she had been envisioning my voice as a few octaves deeper than it really was? What if I talked slower than she pictured and she thought I was retarded?

But I was also scared for another reason. What if she sounded like a man, or had a lisp, or couldn't say her R's very well? I didn't want to be put off, either. She seemed so awesome through emails and chats, but what if something was wrong with her voice?

It took her about 30 minutes to convince me to call her, but by about 11, I had made the call. She sounded beautiful. Her voice was perfect. She spoke at the right speed, no speech impediments, and she sounded like a woman... thankfully. Her laugh was perfect, as well. She lol-ed on the phone as often as she typed it, which made me think that she really was laughing every time she typed "lol".

I'm a pretty fast typer, but it was nice to be able to talk without the burden of typing and overlapping conversations and stuff.

Then, at about 1am, Brittany says, "You should just come over." "Nope. No way." was my reply. Brittany explained that her kids had been in bed for a while and her roommate (female) was watching TV in the front room and wouldn't care. "Sorry, Brittany. Not gonna happen." I told her that it was too late at night, I didn't know where she lived, and I was way too scared. I also explained that I'd never done anything similar to what she was proposing. Going to a girls house I'd never met at 1 in the morning? I also suggested that I might actually be a serial killer looking for my next single-mother victim. None of those things put her off. She insisted on giving me her address and asked me to write down directions, just in case I changed my mind.

I got a pen and paper and wrote down her address. While she was giving me directions, I watched my right hand shaking as I wrote them down. After I finished, I looked at the squiggly letters and numbers I'd written down while my hand was quivering. Even though I figured I wasn't going over to her house that night, I was still terrified at the possibility. Brittany actually noticed my voice shaking as I read everything back to her. She told me that I didn't have to stay very long at her house, but she just wanted to see me in person. That made me even more nervous. It sounded like the main reason she wanted to see me was to judge my appearance. Yikes!

It took Brittany about an hour to convince me to come over. I kept changing the subject to the topic of her kids, but she caught on quickly and kept on switching it back. She was begging. Literally, begging. Please, Calvin. Please. What's the big deal? We're going to meet eventually. Now's a perfect time. My kids are in bed. We're both awake. We obviously want to see each other.

All of those things were true. (My stomach hurts right now, just reliving it.) Finally, I swallowed my pride and nervousness and said, "Fine, Brittany. I'll come over. Just let me brush my teeth, put on some cologne and take a runny poo." I didn't say the "runny poo" part, but it was something I needed to do before I left.

I had a hard time breathing the whole time I was driving to Brittany's house. When I got there, she opened the door before I even got to her front porch. She was taller than I thought she'd be. Not, circus-freak tall. She was only about an inch or two shorter than me. But she was gorgeous. Extremely.

Her roommate was asleep on the couch so Brittany led me into her room. We sat on her bed and talked for about three hours. My nervousness faded quickly and our conversation never got boring. She turned off the main light and we talked with only her bedside lamp on. At about 4am, we were both laying down on her bed... still talking. I thought to myself, "I could probably kiss her right now. After all, she invited me over... we're in her room... on her bed... laying down..."

So I did. And she did. (I would go into more detail here, but Jake has enough details for the both of us in his last post) I went home at about 8am. It's times like these I actually wonder if I'm maybe an 8 or 9 or something... instead of a 6.5 like I've always thought.

Calvin

31 comments:

Andee said...

really don't know why I'm commenting..

I noticed you were following my blog so I started reading..

but It just shocks me how many girls you kiss and how interesting the stories are everytime.

you think THIS relationship will finally last? lol just curious..

Dani said...

Calvin...are you insane!? Get a grip, man! Slowwwww dooowwwwwnnnnnnnn. You're setting yourself up for alot a hurt.

Anonymous said...

In Calvins defense, he has only kissed 4 girls since June. Sure, 3 of those were this month. I don't think that's unreasonable or exhorbant. The bachelor pad I was in pre-marriage in Provo had guys in it who did way worse/better then that.

-Blazzer

CaLLie.ANN said...

Psh, screw those other comments. Kiss as many people as you can, as much as you can. That's what being single and "dating" is about. Of course, don't be a slut bag but if you dig the girl and she digs you, kiss her! :)

Steven said...

Finding people on the internet seemed weird to me too. Then I ended up going to a girl's house late at night (similar to your story) and 6 months later... we were married!!! Been married for 3.3333333333333 (you get the point) years. Just don't be one of those dudes on "To Catch a Predator" and you'll be fine.

Lyss said...

that is a little scary going over to someones house that you've never met before. umm id be careful if i was you...

Nikki said...
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Haley said...

Woooooooooooooooooooow. I loved this post probably more than I should. Maybe I just didn't know that stuff like that actually HAPPENS in real life. Freakin' awesome story.

Anonymous said...

Nikki- They have asked you not to swear on this blog. It just shows how trashy you are.

Congrats Calvin !! I am so Proud! Baggage is always something that can be worked with. I think its awesome, she sounds pretty cool. Good luck.


Bishop Liz

Nikki said...
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Angie said...

Jesus wouldn't swear either.......

Haha, thought this story was awesome. I'm still not sure if this blog is real but it's definitely entertaining. Keep it up!

That Chick said...

Umm, think about this for a second. a girl you've never met, with two kids from two different dads, you go over to her house in the wee hours of the night, and then you stay at her house IN HER BED, doing.. i dont wanna know what, til 8 am.

THIS DOES NOT SOUND GOOD.

I have been a calvin advocate for a long time, but i'm feeling a little doubt here, buddy. be careful, tread lightly.

PS: Nikki, i dont think swearing qualifies as kind words.

Nikki said...
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Nikki said...
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Anonymous said...

I think Jesus would leave Jesus out of this conversation... But Nikki, you go girl, whats life without a little colorful language?

As for Britney... man if you want 2 kids go for it.

Justin said...

Calvin Your a trusting guy, good luck with brittany

As for Annoying Nikki, I say we all boycott her comments, they are useless to the MBP boys and anyone who reads this. no one can stand her anyways. Eventually she will get tired of talking to herself.

Bethany said...

A couple of people think that this blog is written by only one person pretending to be two people...

One of my pet peeves is when people use "then" instead of "than". Just so everyone knows... Jake does this quite often and Calvin never has.

Did one author do this on purpose? I doubt it.

Anonymous said...

Wow good for you if you can handle all the responsibilities of a new relationship and two little kids, being a new mom myself I think it's very difficult and you grow up very fast.

I wish you all the best of luck in dating because whomever you choose will be lucky, you seem to be a nice guy:)

Niamh said...

As much as it goes against my feminist instincts, I can see why you both want to live it up a little bit before getting married before what will ostensibly be the rest of your lives.

I'm trying not to judge, because I can see that dating must be completely through the lens of your religion. And I think it's awesome that you're both so honest about how you really feel- just think about the girls every once in a while (...Calvin) because chances are they could be feeling the same way.

C Bonzo said...

I'm with Justin, I am ignoring Nikki from now on. The comments are supposed to be about Calvin and his story not about Nikki hating on everyone and everything.

Calvin! Did you not think when you found out she had two kids by different Dad's, and then she is just inviting a man (you) into her bedroom the first night she met him. This girl is dangerous. Maybe she is Mormon and maybe nothing happened that night, but seriously I predict some serious transgressions if you continue.

I also agree with Bethany. I teach High School English, and Calvin's grammar is far better than Jake's. They do talk similar, but they're friends, so that's to be expected. I definitely think the blog has two authors. Whether or not it's actually legit? I don't know. I hope so!

Asher said...

What does the issue of the possibility that this new girl being Mormon equates to her not being sexually forward?

I know a considerable amount of Active Mormons who have or had sex outside of marriage.

Most religious people try to follow their own religious teaching and practice abstinence, it's not just a Mormon virtue.

Jody Lynn said...

that's a little creepy calvin...going over to someone's house late at night and you don't even really know them! be careful!

Nikki said...
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Nikki said...
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JenX said...

I think a girl who begs a guy she's never met to come over to her house at one o'clock in the morning and then makes out with him in her bed while her kids are sleeping in the next room has some really, really poor judgment. There are red flags all over the place here, dude.

Anonymous said...

Red flags.

C Bonzo said...

Yes! Serious serious red flags! Calvin will be in the Bishops office in no time if he isn't extra careful.

Curious said...

OK, this is a stereotypical comment given my blog...but WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????
Making out on someone's bed from 1 am to 8 am is risky enough anyway, but honestly, psychologically, once someone has done something-like cuddling, kissing, or having sex-the pleasure centers in their brains crave it. Obviously Brittany has had sex...and since she has 2 kids, I'd say she enjoyed it. So I'm betting that her body naturally craves it. I know everyone's does, but hers would crave it more. BE CAREFUL!

anna said...

not that you know me or care...but this girl has the kind of baggage that makes her kind of easy. according to your post here, she acts easy. and she won't mind adding to her baggage (if you get my drift). i know becaues i lived in salt lake and i had friends like this girl. and these friends have now had anywhere from 1-2 husbands and 1-3 baby daddys. dude. don't be stupid. beautiful women sometimes are so insecure they think having a child with someone is easier than CTR and getting a real husband and family. if you hang out with her you will have sex with her. and you will screw up your life.

Steven said...

Sex doesn't screw up your life per se! Having a kid does! So keep the Calvin hog on a leash. It's not worth the risk!

Heather B said...

ok wait. did i miss something...did he? or didnt he??