Here I am dating a beautiful, funny, amazing girl, and my mind is racing with dilemma's over silly little things. Let me elaborate.
Have you ever dated somebody perfect? I have the feeling that's what I am doing right now. Could Andrea be one of the Three Nephites? Unless that is contained in the sealed portion of the gold plates I think that's impossible.
I am usually able to find as many weaknesses in my significant others as I, myself, have. This makes me feel comfortable, it makes me feel justified.
Andrea, has very few weaknesses. She amazes me on a regular basis. For example I watch "R" rated movies. I do not feel guilty for this, and welcome arguments about it. (If you remember my conversation with her Dad) Andrea has never once condemned me, chastised me, or attempted to make me feel guilty for this.
Usually I can count on running into this problem with the girls I date. In every other case the girl has been fairly self-righteous on the issue of watching "R's". Like she is better than me because she'll watch "Yes Man" (PG-13) and not "Role Models" (R) even though both movies pretty much have equal parts inappropriate content in them if you ask me. I have always been able to take solace in the "judging" versus "R rated movies" conundrum.
I feel like I have a pretty strong testimony. I stay for all 3 hours of church on Sunday, even though priesthood is sooo boring. I'm a stalwart tithe payer. I am pretty avid sabbath day keeper. I have never tried alcohol or drugs. I have a temple recommend. All of that, and I am dating this girl and feeling guilty. For what? For every stupid little thing. Things I never used to pay a second thought too. Things like the fact that I swear here and there. I have a tendency to be crude for the sake of humor. I often forget to do my home teaching. I skip Sunday school to fraternize in the hallways. I don't go to the Temple. I commit adultery/fornication in my mind every seven minutes. I'm like 90% righteous, which I think is normal.
What about Andrea? Well, in contrast she seems to be 100% righteous. Seriously, she is not high minded and judgmental, she is accepting of everyone, and leads quietly by example. Even that little argument we had about kissing, she handled like a champ.
So whats the problem? Nothing really... I love spending time with her, I love laughing and talking to her. I just, I mean, talk about pressure. How could I live with somebody who's perfect, and if she is perfect why would she be interested in me?
Am I just eating the fruit of the tree and thinking that there's something better for me in the great and spacious building here, or do I actually have a point? I don't know.