Saturday, August 22, 2009

PG rated porn

Instead of going out tonight, Andrea and I stayed at my place and decided to watch the first season of Heroes together. All the roommates were out doing something. Aaron finally went out with my friend Tiffany. Calvin and Nick decided to test out a new Girl House in the Stake, and Lance - I think he's clubbing at Studio 600 (at least that's the only place he could have been going with that shiney button up shirt.)

Anyway, we didn't even make it through the first episode before we started making out. As anyone who regularly reads this blog knows, Andrea mentioned early in our relationship that she was uncomfortable with tongue kissing. She also drew the lines of approved "caress zones" far more restrictive then I ever imagined necessary. Up until recently I have chosen to respect her feelings on the matter. To respect her "comfort zone". Alas, I am getting bored with our standard, kiss-sitting-up-no-tongue-only-rubbing-arms-neck-and-back routine. So I have decided I am going to try to move things more towards MY comfort zone, and see how that works.

I have been nervous about taking things a little further, but truthfully I feel that morally, everything that I am comfortable doing is within the bounds that the Lord has set for appropriate pre-marriage intimacy. Obviously, whether I'm right or not doesn't really matter if Andrea's not comfortable since ,as they say, it takes two to tango. So, I have decided that I need to tread carefully to ensure that Andrea continues to tango while still moving our make out sessions into new territory.

I decided to start with the hands. About the time Hayden Panettiere throws herself off a building, I moved my hand from the back of Andreas neck to her collar bone. Andrea pauses for a moment but doesn't pull away. I counted this as a success. I then moved my other hand up under her shirt onto the bare skin of her lower back. Keep in mind that for Andrea this was some pretty risqué stuff. For me, well the touch of Andrea's, thus far, "forbidden" flesh was more enjoyable then the touch of any other feminine skin I had experienced. It was more exciting because I had to wait for it, and awesome that she didn't protest.

Heroes ran through about 3 episodes thanks to the "play all" feature, and I had successfully overcome all of her "no hand" zones. I mean, I still steered clear of the privates and the high inner thigh, but it was definitely a vigorous... no, a passionate make-out. We chilled out for a bit and talked.

I decided I wasn't going to bring up the advancements we had made, and she didn't either. Instead we talked about school and how we were both starting it next week. We watched Heroes, for a minute, but started laughing when we realized we had no idea what was going on. We decided to get some Beto's, before I took her home for the night.

There is a little playground about a stones throw away from Andreas house. We had spent several nights here talking, and our first kiss happened on the swings so it was a familiar spot. Perfect, I thought, for the next phase of my plan. After eating, talking some more, and chewing some gum, I helped Andrea up from the ground and pulled her towards me to kiss her. Now that my hands were free to roam, I was able to induce in her a little more excitement for act then previously possible.

I waited until it seemed like she was as turned on as she possibly could have been, and then, I slipped her the tongue. I was careful not to cram it down her throat or anything, but I wanted to make sure she knew it was there. She pulled back this time, and looked at me. I waited. She pulled my face to hers, and this time, she was the one slipping tongue. It was awesome. Granted, it was obvious that Andrea had never tongue kissed a boy before, and her technique was a little rough. However, I really like this girl, we have been dating for nearly a month and our intimacy up to this point has been rigid. It made this kiss so super duper!

For the final move into my comfort zone, I picked Andrea up, while still kissing and carefully moved to the slide. I set her down on the edge of the slide and slowly leaned over her. I didn't hesitate, but was observant to see how she was reacting. Andrea's a smart girl, and I think she knew what was coming. She laid back and there we were. Kissing, with tongue, horizontally.

It didn't feel dirty, it didn't get out of hand. It was magnificent. We kissed for about 20 more minutes like that, and then I walked her home. On the doorstep, she said, "You got a little naughty tonight." I probably made some stupid face and said, "Naughty?" really thinking that word was a poor choice. She simply replied with, "That was fun." Then she swung her arms around my neck and kissed me. Without tongue.

I walked back to my car and thought, "She used the word 'naughty' and then finished with a no tongue kiss... is she trying to tell me that was a one time deal?"

Nahhhhh!

Jake

31 comments:

That Chick said...

if she didnt protest, she enjoyed it. if she didn't want it to happen again, she would have said something about it, not "that was fun." you're fine. she'll probably do it again.

f1trey said...

one with the tongue! hehehe two for the show...three to get ready now go cat go......just dont step on her .....well never mind.....

Anonymous said...

I like you better than Calvin Jake. yeah. Don't know you personally. I've only been reading this blog for a couple of days now..but, at least you think more about the kind of PERSON Andrea is instead of just sex/making out ALL OF THE TIME.

Calvin kinda makes me sick. I kinda lost hope after finding this blog and reading HIS posts. But, at least you have some respect for women. GO YOU!

ps..I do have to agree with the commentors that say it's not right to have the LDS website link on this blog..it's kinda wrong to give non-members the idea that this is how the church is...
Just sayin.

All in all though,
I am entertained when reading YOUR posts. :)

Nikki said...
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Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

It's ok, Nikki. I have a feeling that "Anonymous 11:01" is actually Jake.

Nice try, dude. I know it's you.

-Calvin

Anonymous said...

it wasnt jake.

Anonymous said...

I agree in part with Anonymous 11:01 and Nikki.

I like Jake better than Calvin too. Even though I wouldn't be surprised if this blog is written by a girl, the way Jake talks sometime. However, Calvin doesn't make me sick. The last girl he actually liked picked his dorky roommate over him. I think he's a little hurt and taking it out on the opposite sex. I think we can all relate to that.

I don't think there is any problem with this blog linking to the church. Just because they don't tie each post into some spiritual disertation doesn't mean they aren't good examples. Do we actaully think non-members would read this and think "if these guys are Mormons, then Mormons are terrible people"? No, I think the opposite. I think they will read this and think "these guys are NORMAL not like those weird Mormon neighbors I had that had 27 filthy kids who always wore clothes from the 70's... but I digress...

This blog is an outstanding look into our culture. One peopke either pretend doesn't exist or are to ashamed to talk about, but from my experience it is very true to form. Though I am convinced it's written by one person, and is probably a retelling of old life experiences had by the author years ago.

Oh, and Nikki, chill out! Poor anonymous 11:01 is probably in tears tight now. Reprove betimes with sharpness and then build up with love, right? Her telling them not to link to the Church, and you telling her not to tell them not to link to link to the Church is sort of the same thing.

I hope to hear more opinions on this.

Oh, and on the slide Jake? Really?

-Blazzer

ps: How do I get a profile so my comments aren't anonymous like the guy "Hobbes" did?

Nikki said...
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Steven said...

Nikki

You sound like a crazy! Just calm yourself down and recognize people will have difference of opinion.
I'm of the OPINION that Jake (assuming this is legit) will be engaged before the end of the year. Andrea has good moral fiber, but at the end of the day she really does want what everybody else does. Good to know she's willing to bend, but hopefully not break.

Anonymous said...

Not a Mormon. Love this blog. Ha ha ha. Seducing a girl to "Kissing, horizontally. With tongue." Just as this Mormon boy executed his "plan" to tongue kiss his girl, lots and lots of other boys execute similar plans to fuck their girls. Glad to see you're not all bearded weirdos in the mountains. Impressed that this Mormon boy believes enough to be chaste. Ha ha ha. Love this blog. "don't link to the church website"????? WTF? it's the fucking Internet people, there are no secrets. I'll stop being anonymous when they do. Neener neener neener. Love this blog!

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

I tried to warn Calvin when he asked me to do this blog with him that you all would love me more! Thank you for your adoration.

Calvin, can be a tool sometimes.

Hey, Anonymous 2:13, appreciate the acclaim and hope you keep reading. Do me a solid though and don't swear in comments in the future. For the sake of the children and the Mormons. Not cool.

Thanks

Jake

Maggie May said...

I am not Mormon, and I think this blog is an amazing glimpse. Also, most young guys think about sex all. the. time. That is biologically an imperative, and nothing wrong with it, it's amazing, the spice of life!

Nikki said...
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Nikki said...
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Anonymous said...

Freak! That's how I talk Jake. Since you asked nice, I guess so. Sorry. By the way I'm going to make my xbox gamer tag Anonymous 2:13. Awesome. Sorry again.

Tiffy J. said...

ummm...I like Jake better too. Sorry Calvin.

Anonymous said...

yeah Nikki. WOW..am I not allowed to state my opinion?? I can state my opinion. YOU can relax. I would appreciate it if your refrained from name calling. You don't know me and you don't know the things I've experienced. I would never say things that to someone I don't even know. Just sayin..again.
(I'm anonymous 11:01 btw.) and NO Calvin, I'm not Jake. It's not that I HATE you, but the way you use girls doesn't really rub me the right way. ;) Sorry but I don't know very many guys that actually look for what the girl is like on the inside. Maybe you should start doing that :) I never said I didn't like your blog though...and thanks for agreeing that you like Jake better Tiffy! I'm really not trying to be mean..!!

Brittany said...

i just happened across this site, and i got to say that it is hilarious. i like how several guys are posting on the same blog. it's pretty insightful with all the different perspectives. um...just since i read the comments, and i've got hair on my peaches, i'm saying flat out that nikki, i admire the way you say what's on your mind, and i know you are relaxed and happy, but dude! that comment made me laugh so hard! you mentioned that there are different types of members of the LDS church and how you hate members who tell other members what to do. HA HA! i think you are a little busy telling members what to do yourself, just in a different way. i don't think anonymous person 11:01 meant anything like that by it. but really, keep the drama going. this is a great comment list.

Nikki said...
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Brittany said...

lol. see, that's what's cool about you. you're completely honest and not afraid to admit crap. granted, that's also what makes people freak out, but hey! that's life, right?

Nikki said...
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Anonymous said...

Nikki, Your comments dont add to this blog. You attack everyone. Its like your trying to justify being a bad person yourself. You are reading a blog written and read by young adults and your close to 50. I don't think you get us.

Jake, Congrats. I think you and Andrea are on to something!!!

--Liz

Anonymous said...

Nikki, Your comments dont add to this blog. You attack everyone. Its like your trying to justify being a bad person yourself. You are reading a blog written and read by young adults and your close to 50. I don't think you get us.

Jake, Congrats. I think you and Andrea are on to something!!!

--Liz

Nikki said...
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That Chick said...

hahahaha drama drama drama

dont be pissers. enjoy the blog. thats what its for.

Anonymous said...

Nikki,
I can't believe how old you are. you don't act like it. Your maturity level is a little LOW...I think you're REALLY obsessed with this blog because you reply SO fast. That's a sad story.

But yeah..you seem like a very sweet person. I personally think you should get a life. OH and you SAID (two comments ago) to speak up and to make sure it's the harsh truth. So that's what I'm doing. :) now go and do something besides stalk a young, horny, college student blog.
Thanks.

Cassee said...

Horizontal make-outs with tongue?!

Ohhh, Jake. You naughty boy, you...

I wanted to hate this blog, but my face is like melting off each time I read it, because it's so awkward and hilarioussss. You guys are such horn dogs!

Nikki said...
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S. Hope said...

I keep reading this because I keep thinking this isn't legit... ok and its funny but not even gonna lie, I still don't think its legit. I'd have to agree with the person up top, I think this is a one man show. Calvin and Jake is a split personality of a, I'll give it to you, hilarious guy. But these are past experiences not the present. Your writing is much to similar to be different people.

Anonymous said...

Nikki- I agree with anonymous 12:40, you obviously have no life. If this is all you have, stay here. If it keeps you happy and makes your life feel worth it, keep attacking people. You DONT get us, when you were a young adult things were much different then they are now. I highly doubt you were like any of the people reading or writing this blog. You are odd, not really the type I would hang around. But whatever you really have nothing better to do.

Bishop Liz

Nikki said...
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