Wednesday, August 19, 2009

DTR?

I'm starting to wonder if I should be concerned that Andrea hasn't tried to define the relationship (DTR) yet. My roommates seem to think this is a big problem. I mean I don't really want anything exclusive... heck we haven't even really french kissed yet, (that's right, still no tongue - but I am planning on breaching that soon) but from their experiences (having been off their missions a little longer than me) It seems to be pretty common that the girl initiates a DTR within the first couple of months. I probably wouldn't even give it a second thought if Calvin and Lance weren't so adamant that she's got some other guy on the side. Whether she does or not, I am not really concerned, I am just wondering if I should be concerned. It's not like I wouldn't have options if I wanted them...

On Monday we went to this big stake FHE that's in one of the wards we are favoring. There were nearly 400 people there, I would guess. They did this huge slip-n-slide thing, and it was pretty fun. There were a lot of older girls there, but there were also a few hotties. Lance met two houses worth, and invited them to hang out this week. Lance definitely gave Aaron a run for his money.

So last night some of us decided to watch the entire Die Hard Trilogy at our house because Aaron had never seen it. Six hours of straight action may not seem prudent to most, but we deemed it worthy of our precious time. We invited every girl we knew to come. One of these new houses of girls that lives pretty close to us showed up. Our living room is set up with two large couches and a love seat all are DI quality, though we got them from various parents and siblings. I ended up on the love seat.

This girl Jenny sat next to me. It was dark and we were all having a good time. Before Bruce Willis even takes his shoes off Jenny starts snuggling up to me. She makes a few comments to see if it's okay, and I of course am fine with it. She is laying on her side with her head on my chest, and I am sitting slouched. So her left arm ends up draped across my chest. She immediately starts tickling my arm and gently rubbing my chest and abs. This is fairly basic snuggling behavior, but to start so early and I didn't even know her last name.

She kept rolling over and looking at me to ask me questions unrelated to the movie. She kept making comments about my arms. I don't have exceptional arms, but I was flattered. I watched Lance repeatedly looking over at us with a grin. I noticed none of the other girls were in cuddle mode yet. We finished the first Die hard and I was sitting there thinking, I could make-out with this girl tonight.

Halfway through the second Die Hard another group of girls came over. We have known these girls for a while - we hang with them all of the time. One of them, also named Jen, knew Jenny who I was on the love seat with. They hugged and started quietly chatting as the other two girls found places to sit. Jen joined us on the love seat, and I was sandwiched between the two Jen's. The snuggling from before was obviously quelled, and they talked for a bit and then we all snuggly finished watching Die Hard 2.

The new girls all decided to leave after the second movie. Leaving the girls we already knew to finish out the third film. So here I was, still on the love seat with Jen, and we ended up sitting in exactly the same way Jenny and I had before. Jen and I had been friends for a while, and there had never really been anything between us. Her hand started doing the same tickling and rubbing that Jenny had done previously. As before, I reciprocated with appropriate snuggle hand movements too. However, things started getting a little more, um, vigorous. She started rubbing my thigh. My inner thigh. After a few minutes of this. She rolled so that she could look at me. She laid there with the back of her head on my stomach for a few seconds and just looked. I again thought, I could make-out with this girl tonight. She turned over, but repeated this process a couple of times.

It ended up, I pretty much had to decide not to make-out with Jen. Because when Die Hard 3 was over. Jens two friends left. Calvin and Nick had fallen asleep. Lance went to bed, and Aaron started the fourth Die Hard, but fell asleep about 10 minutes in. Just Jen and I sitting on the love seat, with three of my roommates fast asleep. The movie was rolling, and the cuddling was intensifying.

I was thinking, what (if any) guilt I would feel towards Andrea if I kissed Jen right there. I didn't think I would feel any... after all we weren't exclusive. I also thought about what might happen to Jen and I's friendship if we kissed. It would probably be ruined. Did I care?

I wasn't finished thinking about the consequences when she started one of her turns again. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended I was asleep. Once I did that, I realized it was 3:00 in the morning, and regardless of the consequences I was not interested in getting into a late night, lying down, in the dark make-out session. She stared at me for two full minutes before she looked back at the TV. After a few more minutes I pretended to wake up and mumbled, "I have to go to bed." I asked her, "Do you want me to walk you to your car or just stay here tonight?" She said she would stay. I got up handed her a pillow and a blanket. She looked at me, and I swear I could hear her thoughts saying, "Really, you're going to leave me in your living room?"

I stumbled back to my room without saying a word while rubbing my eyes, like I was totally out of it. I laid down in my bed, realizing I probably wouldn't ever get another chance with Jen. I didn't really care, I was more consumed with wondering if I would have felt guilty after, and what affect it would have on my relationship with Andrea. I fell asleep and when I woke up this morning Calvin, Nick, and Aaron were still asleep in the living room, but Jen was gone.

Jake

20 comments:

f1trey said...

all i can say is "Im buying all 4 movies this weekend" wish me luck....

Anonymous said...

Glad to read you finally did the right thing.
Ru

jaime said...

You must have it bad for this Andrea girl if you wont even make out with a good looking girl lying in your lap. I feel a DTR coming on...initiated by you!

Nikki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gaylene said...

I want to know who you are and how did you get my blogsite?

Lyss said...

umm yeah you did the right thing. I think that if you had made out with either of the Jen's you would have felt some sort of guilt...

Ash Att said...

wow, that is way cool Jake that you didnt make out with her. props to you! Its good to see there are good guys out there!
Ash

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

psshhht. "Abs"? C'mon, Jake. If we're trying so hard to be honest in this blog, you should have said "rolls".

-c

Dani said...

Hey, I definitely think that was the right thing to do. What you SHOULD've done though was send one of the Jens over to Calvin...looks like he's a little sore over that one ;)

As far as DTRs go, it's probably like the whole kissing thing with Andrea. I don't think she likes to make the first move. My bet is she's waiting for you to bring it up.

That Chick said...

hmm. an interesting predicament. i look forward to hear updates on what may occur in the future.

PS. it totally made this post when i read what calvin commented.

HAHA

Anonymous said...

Jake You Rock! I think those "Jen's" were double playing you to see if you were a player. You won the game! Congrats!

The DTR thing, Don't over analyze I don't think she is playing you. Just being careful. Good Luck

**Kenz

Anonymous said...

I think that your readers are missing the point here. You said:

"I was thinking, what (if any) guilt I would feel towards Andrea if I kissed Jen right there. I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD FEEL ANY... after all we weren't exclusive. I also thought about what might happen to Jen and I's friendship if we kissed. It would probably be ruined. Did I care?"

That thought process was interrupted, and as a result you panicked and pretended to be asleep. Thereby realizing you couldn't be bothered. Had you had a chance to complete those thoughts, you may very well have decided to make-out with Jen. You're no saint Jake. I think you know that. I just don't think anyone else gets it.

I'm not smarter than anyone else, I just call it how I see it, you probably would've felt guilty and the problem here is that when one is faced with a choice like this, once guilt hits, it's already too late.

Be very careful mate.

-Blazzer

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I'm with Jake. Fat soft abs with rollie pollies on em are still called "abs"!

-Blazzer

Anonymous said...

Dude, if you don't want to be exclusive with Andrea after this amount of time you must not be that into her. Bottom line.

brie said...

well, you definitely need to make out with someone. are you getting blue?

shortmama said...

To be in a guys head....scary.

Kaycee said...

"I was thinking, what (if any) guilt I would feel towards Andrea if I kissed Jen right there. I DIDN'T THINK I WOULD FEEL ANY... after all we weren't exclusive."

This statement tells me that you shouldn't be too worried about the DTR ultimatum with Andrea as it sounds like maybe you're not ready. Love your blog by the way, very entertaining =)

Megs said...

was that gaylene comment serious? how did you find her blog?? blogs are on the internet... where people can read them. end of story.

anyways, if i had been jen i woulda been pissed. haha, not going to say i'm an easy girl but i did like making out and i made out with a few guy friends and it didn't ruin anything. sometimes you just want to kiss ya know!? haha

Jody Lynn said...

you did the right thing. congrats, jake! but you and andrea have gotta dtr it soon. you're pressing it with the timing there.

Anonymous said...

sometimes you just have to hold back. I'm an Australian, and have visited the US on a number of occasions, loved the attention but chose to actively refute other female's advances. A trip, a mission and another trip later, it was the best make-out (on the temple grounds i might add) with any girl. Kudos to you american girls