Some shocking news... well not sure if shocking is the right word for it, but... as I mentioned before, Aaron "dates" (that is, he makes-out with on the occasional evening, when he doesn't have a make-out or actual date scheduled with someone else) Andrea's cousin, Carla aka Freckles. Today, Aaron called me from work and said, "Guess what Carla just told me?" I knew it was about Andrea, and I figured if Aaron was calling me from work he had probably heard it at lunch today and couldn't wait to get home to tell me. I braced myself for bad news. "What?" I said. Aaron replied, "Andrea is getting married." My heart sank at the news.
Over the past few months Andrea has become my 'the girl that got away' story. I have compared every girl since to my relationship with her. Right now even, I continue to draw parallels to Claire that I recognize are influencing my decision.
I'm not sure how to think or what to do about it. Or of I should do anything at all. The whole idea seems bittersweet. Sweet, because if she does get married, that would give me a feeling of closure and I could actually think that leaving her was the right thing to do. Bitter, because as of now, looking back I made a terrible choice. What (if any) growth I have experienced over the past six months has taught me that leaving someone because I perceive them as being better than me is an awful idea. When I go back and read her letter, the things that she said about me, and the way she felt about me... makes me worry that no one will ever feel that way about me again.
I had been silent on the phone for about as long as it took to read what I just wrote. Aaron finally said, "Yeah, it's that fireman guy, too." I imagined him on the other end of the phone doodling in the margins of some note pad with a grin. I wanted to punch him in the face. He seemed to relish delivering this message too much. I said, "Thought so." Aaron said, "Sorry, man. Carla said that Andrea was telling her that she felt like she needed to call you." I replied, "Hmm, well that'll be weird."