Monday, May 3, 2010

Updates

You know how some people have those links to their favorite blogs on their sidebar? I've noticed several of them are the fancy kind that have the title of the most recent blog post as well as a photo (if available) from the blog post. I think about that kind of stuff when I'm typing the title of my blog posts. I think to myself, "I want to catch people's attention when they see MBP has a new post up." I've thought about going so far as to title our posts with the most extreme subjects I can fathom just to draw people to our blog that maybe wouldn't have visited otherwise. I mean, if you saw someone's blog roll and you noticed "The Smith Family Robinson" had recently posted and the title was "Blessing Day", would you click on it? Of course not. That's the most boring topic I can possibly imagine. However, what if you saw a blog called "Mormon Bachelor Pad" had a new post called "My Mom Caught Me!" or "Emotional Enema" or "She Threw Up All Over My Laptop". Would you click on that? So would I. Those posts sound frickin' awesome.

But then I thought people would be pissed if they clicked on the blog and noticed the post had absolutely nothing to do with my mom catching me d0ing anything... then they'd be pissed and refuse to read our blog ever again. So I decided not to do that.

So here we are. You're reading a blog post called "Updates". There are no illusions about what this post will be about, I hope. I'm going to talk about a couple of different things just to tie up any blog loose ends that you might be stepping on.

My Aforementioned Discomfort: It's getting better. Kristen has called me four times over the last five days. I've tried my best to think of excuses why I can't hang out with her, but it's getting more difficult. Maybe I shouldn't assume the only reason she wants to get together is to roll around, but I'm pretty sure that's what's going on. We had way too much fun last Tuesday/Wednesday and I'm still suffering the side effects. Honestly, I've suffered from this type of ailment two other times in my life and it's never... ever... ever been this bad. Kristen and I are close enough, I could probably tell her what's going on. She'd laugh and apologize, most likely, but it's too embarrassing. I can't imagine what she's thinking since I've started avoiding her. It's not because I don't like her or anything. It's simply self-preservation. I'm sure she'll be fine. (I like to compare it to breaking my pinky toe and then someone challenges me to a foot race. It's wussy to say, "I can't. My pinky toe hurts", no matter how true it is. It's much better to say, "Sorry, I'm too busy fixing some manly mechanical problems on my classic vehicle that's been parked in my driveway for two years." Then, when the toe gets better, you call them up and say, "Let's rock, yo!" That's what I'm doing.)

Nick's Silent Treatment: I came home on Friday afternoon and noticed three separate personal checks pinned to our cork board in the kitchen. I wasn't sure if I was important enough for the Silent Treatment to ever actually work on anybody... but it did. Nick wrote Aaron, Jake and I checks for the money he owed each of us. There was a note with them apologizing for taking so long to pay us back. I took my check off the board, ripped it up and threw it away. I was happy that Nick had paid us, but the money wasn't important to me. It was the principle, you know? I found out Saturday night that Jake and Aaron cashed their checks and spent the money. What a couple of morons. I always thought I was cooler and now I know for sure. Then Nick came over after Ward Prayer last night. As soon as he walked in, I said, "Hey, Nick! Good to see ya, buddy!" He walked right over to me and gave me hug. Nobody knew why except for him and me. It's good to have him back.

Brigham's Extended Family: I went out to check and see if mice had begun spilling out over the top of the 10-gallon tank. It was empty. I started freaking out a little bit. I'm not really sure why. It's not like I thought anything too crazy had happened. I knew there was a perfectly logical explanation. I called Jake to see if he knew what happened to them. He did. He told me he had carefully carried the tank into the front yard and used his foot to tip the tank onto it's side. Then he went inside, watched Can't Hardly Wait, and then returned to the yard to retrieve the empty tank.

So I guess we'll be catching those 125 mice in our glue traps for the next several years.

Calvin

18 comments:

Krys said...

Boring blog title, a very nice blog post. Good luck with the mice. >_<

Jade said...

Nice post Calvin, but the part about the mice being let out in your own yard is kinda creepy, just think you could be sharing your bed with Brigham..... Oh and don't avoid Kristen for to long, remember your trying not to blow it with her, so don't just leave her hanging to long.

Crystal said...

I agree, lame title. Great post.

And yeah...don't avoid Kristen for too much longer. She might take it the wrong way and that would be bad.

Good for Nick.

I did that when I had a tank full of fancy mice. I just couldn't handle them squeezing through the bars and getting loose in my house because they were so tiny. I can't tell you how many times my cat brought me one in her mouth, totally unharmed but dripping in saliva. My cat is awesome.

So yeah...free the mice.

bd said...

Seriously, what kind of discomfort are you suffering from? Obviously its not from blue balls like everyone assumed from your last post. Blue balls only last more than 12 hours if you're a 70 year old man with serious health issues (I wouldn't be surprised if you are). I think you actually sanded you junk on her leg. Congratulations asshat!

Anonymous said...

Girls just don't understand. The discomfort of blue balls can last for days and it feels like you just got kicked there. If you know that it's just going to happen again next time you roll around with her, you tend to avoid that pain until you're 100% sure it has gone away. The natural man can be brutal but must be contained.

Waiting On A Sister Missionary said...

I've never had "blue balls" but I guarantee it's not as painful as i kick to the junk. That is a pain so bad that your diaphragm is sore for a week from all the spasms while trying to cope.

Are you sure you're not the soccer player? Because you're a pro at milking a slight discomfort...

Anonymous said...

Ouch!

Anonymous said...

That's awesome what you did for Nick.

But you need to hurry the eff up and hang out with Kristen OR tell her the truth. You've already avoided her for too longr. She's going to start thinking that you guys have messed up your friendship.

Heather Guymon said...

Just tell her. Laugh about it. Get over the hump.

Haha. Hump. See what I just did there?

anna said...

ew. those mice are going to be everywhere inside your house in no time at all. good thing you actually bought the house. now it's really your problem and not the landlord. haha.

also, kristen is awesome.

Anonymous said...

all of this
sounds so fake.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to think that Jake might be the dumbest person I've heard of. Really he just let them all go in your own lawn?

Kayde said...

Dear Calvin,
you should date my best friend..that is all

Anonymous said...

really? ... grow up, you flaming pansy

hater said...

no matter what you call this post it is still boring.

Angela said...

I actually loved this post..... until I read about the mice. I HATE mice, I would have preferred he set them on fire then let them go. I think you'll both regret that decision when they start running across your faces in the middle of the night. Just saying.

Jade said...

Finally someone who agreed with my setting the mice on fire idea!

Rachael said...

Jake, what are we going to do with you? I mean really?

Oh and good luck with your manly issue Calvin.