I am getting a little bored with the blog. (gasp) Bored isn't even the right word for it, but I am definitely having a harder time posting. I am going to pretend like you care, even though if someone wrote this post that wasn't me I would tell them. "Fine, if you don't want to write it... then don't, you big baby."My best friend and I's last 20 conversations have chiefly been about this blog. Aside from the occasional marriage discussion, it has overwhelmed our friendship.
When Calvin proposed the idea, it sounded great. I mean I love to entertain others, that definitely makes me happier than most anything else. This blog has given me the opportunity to do that, but I am finding it to be more of a chore, lately.
I know, I know, what do I have better to do? Seeing as I don't have a job and I'm currently not attending school. Maybe I don't have anything better to do, but there are plenty of things I would rather do... even things as menial as sitting around watching the cooking channel with average looking chicks and talking about that big fat Hawaiian guy who sings that "over the rainbow/wonderful world" song. Yeah. I would rather do that than write my blog posts.
It's not that I don't have plenty of things to write about. In fact, more often than not there are topics and stories that get left behind simply because we would have to post daily to tell them all.
I could write about how I am having second thoughts about my talk with Sanders when I told her that I loved her. How based off of, (and I am quoting myself here) "if I don’t even know what [love] is then how can I not mean it? I decided that because my feelings for her are as strong as I have ever had for a girl, that until I had a feelings stronger or more powerful to replace it, that this must be love." What is that? That's bull crap is what it is. I recklessly told her I loved her and will no doubt suffer for it. I can just imagine Sanders reading that and saying, "Oh gee, thanks, Jake."
I could possibly write a trilogy of posts about why I think that all of you who think that I need to "get my crap together" before entertaining marriage to another person are jaded, glass is half empty, nervous twits. At what point exactly would my "crap" be together? Do I have to have a degree of some kind? Perhaps I shouldn't get married until I finish school. Or better yet, until my student loans are paid off and I have a 20% down payment for a house... actually, if, as many allude I need to be "ready" to support a family before I propose, then the smartest thing to do would be to wait until I claim at least 6 figures on my 1040. Yeah, then I'll be ready. Then you'll want your sister to date me. Fact is, the "crap" in life is easier to achieve than people let on. How hard is it to make money? How hard is it to keep a job? Just because I haven't done it doesn't mean I can't. I think once motivated by a family and loving someone more than I love myself that I will accomplish even greater heights than I probably would otherwise.
Also, I have been debating writing a post about how Sanders thinks that dry-humping is a perfectly legit part of courtship, and how I have serious issue with that... beyond the fact that grinding my most sensitive of bits against anything with a zipper or button-fly is a 'raspberry' waiting to happen.
There is also the post I have been planning to write where I would somehow convey in a way that wouldn't make everyone mad, that even though we said we'd do it, that I really don't want to rate all the girls who requested to be rated privately. It takes forever... there are so many of you, and there's cooking channel to watch and Assassins Creed II to play.
Sure, there are a lot of posts to write. Aaron's getting played and it's fun to watch. Nick wants to date my sister who is 5 inches taller than him. Lance and I had a little heart-to-heart about him thinking about going on a mission. So, having something to write is not the problem.
The last few days, Calvin, who should be asking me if I want to go catch a matinee with him, instead has been asking me if I have done my post. I say, "Not yet." Calvin, "Will you have time to do it?" Jake, "Yeah, I'll do it." Then I don't, and I get texts like, "No post yet?" Then I feel bad, and promise him I'll get it done... again. Then, I don't do it... again. "I haven't had time." I say, and I realize that he knows, as do I, that I do have time. It sucks.
So... well... here is my post. For putting it off, and not wanting to do it, it ended up longer than I thought.
I'm just writing what I am thinking because, though we all thought I was gonna get married and fade out of this blog anyway... marriage, may or may not happen... but my desire to continue with this blog is fading anyway. Entertaining 1000 strangers is pretty fun, I just don't know if it's worth monopolizing my relationship with my best friend, and the Carpel Tunnel Syndrome I think I'm developing as a result of writing it.
Jake
94 comments:
Wow. You should probably grow up.
I have never commented and am seriously embarrassed that a married woman reads this blog. However I think that you guys are hilarious and it is very refreshing to read the "real" thoughts in males heads.
I wanted to comment on your saying "I love you" and now doubting it. While reading your post on when you both talked about love it was like reading my journal entry for when my husband and I said the same things. Except he said it first. I had very serious doubts that I was even capable of feeling that let alone telling someone that I loved them. But I took a leap of faith. What is love? It is absolutely different for every person. Find out what your definition is and then go from there. After 10 years of marriage and 3 children I am still figuring out what love is and I promise you the love you have for that person on your wedding day is minuscule to what you will feel after working and growing together and sustaining each other in your individual lives.
Ok, I am really sorry this is so long. Also this post is supposed to be fun. It is not a grade so just relax if you don't want to post for awhile, don't. Your supportive readers will still be hear. And God will still love you.
Hope you have a great day.
Ooooh. You know what you could do instead of posting entries that take a lot of time? Maybe when you want to take a day off, just post a picture slightly alluding to your identity (of course not enough to actually figure it out). The girls will go nuts, I promise. Then everyone is happy :)
I really do feel bad for being so harsh after reading this. Sorry Jake but really, could you blame me? Life does entail a lot of "crap" but having a job and an education should be at the top of the list. Nobody has everything put together before getting married. I just caution your future wife and yourself before settling down. You don't need a degree at all just a job and maybe be a bit more responsable. And love is different for everyone. I was just putting myself in Sanders shoes. If I knew that's how you felt I would feel horrible. How do you know what love is. I knew from the feeling in my chest. I couldn't breathe and I got butterflies everytime I saw him. Is that enough? Well, for me it was. Don't let us scare you away from what might be the love of your life. I am intrigued by this blog and may be a tad embarrassed by it. I may have even responded to the last three posts. Do what you feel is best for you.
I don't know about everyone else.... but I would like to hear more about this awkward dry humping.
Finally. You have learned proper grammar.
Anonymous 8:48...
There's nothing awkward about it for me.
-c
Well, since the line about dating my sister came from me, here is my attempt to answer for whatever it is worth.
Personally, I made a choice that I didn't want to be a married college student, and for me I think it was the best plan. I'm not about to insist that everyone should be like that, but I do personally think it strange when kids who are fresh out of high school get married their first or second semesters at the Y or wherever.
I also happened to have the down payment for an affordable house before I got married, and it is nice to have somewhere I can call my own with my wife by my side.
As for the six figures...well, hopefully I will get there.
But the point is not what I did (even though I think it was a great plan for me). The point is what are you doing?
You asked how hard it is to keep a job and make money. I ask you, how hard is it to respect your boss and show up to work on time? How hard is it to put down the video game controller and go to bed so you can get up on time? How hard is it to respect the authority figures in your life? When you have never held onto a job and admit to deserving to be fired 80% of the time, that should tell you something more than "it's hard to keep a job."
How hard is it to take advantage of the opportunity you were given for a university education? You got in with a crummy GPA on the basis of your ACT scores and were told that a condition of your acceptance was that you would need to take certain classes. Seems to me that staying in school would be pretty easy - if they tell you that you need to take certain classes, you take them.
Personally, I think you can accomplish all of these things and more - you just don't. I'm unclear why you choose to brand yourself a consistent underachiever.
OK, enough soapbox.
- Nate
I think everyone that does a blog gets burnt out. Take a break if you need to. It helps. Then in a week or two you will Want to post again, not be forced to. Also I agree with what has been said about love. When you get married you obviously love the person, but the love 3 years later or 10 years later is so much greater. I sure didn't know what love really was when I married by husband. But I do know. Don't worry too much about titles and words. Just spend time with her.
Sounds like you are feeling a bit off. But you've got a good head on top of your neck and so I know you will be okay and everything will turn out. Now about that dry humping.....well you didn't ask for advice so I just deleted all that I had written. So I will refer you to what I said in my second sentence which is where I should have stopped. good day.<---have one!
At what point exactly would my "crap" be together? Do I have to have a degree of some kind?
Yes.
Also, I have been debating writing a post about how Sanders thinks that dry-humping is a perfectly legit part of courtship, and how I have serious issue with that.
This is Bishop confession worthy.
Good job for going this long. I just love how long your other post was. I'll be honest I just read about every other month because I like the blogs to add up.
Calvin is being a stinker for forcing you to write. Blogging is to be non stressful.
Take a break and in the mean time write me instead- hahah
I just wanted to comment that life RARELY turns out the way you planned it.
I think that as long as you have the drive and determination to get 'your crap together' it will work out.
That's the thing... everyone likes to give advice because it is what they learned for THEIR OWN situation. Sure it's good to learn from others' experiences, but in the end you do what is best for you.
I'm sure you didn't even really take anyones' advice to heart anyway.
Well, if you are getting to the end of the blog.. just want to say thanks for entertaining me on my breaks at work. I didn't agree with probably MOST that you posted, but it was entertaining.
I love the blog but don't let it overwhelm you. Shorter posts are fine, don't rate all the girls. Focus on Sanders cause she is way more important than 1000 of us crazies who spend too much time online. If possible to keep balanced then keep writing because I love reading what you have to say!
Hmmmm...Why is it so wrong to take a break from the blog???
Who says you have to have 20% down payment for a house and 6 figures in your 401K?? And what does it look like to have ALL of your crap together? You're in your early 20's, if you accomplish all of this before you get married you will be 40. And by then you will have a whole different kind of "crap" that you will need to get together.
If you don't love Saunders, tell her. If you think "Dry Humping" is wrong, say so.
Nothing else in your life is a "must" aside from loving the Lord with your heart, soul and mind. The rest is just fluff. If there is no joy in it...set it aside.
THE END!
you just need an ergonomic keyboard
I'm going to avoid giving you my unneeded opinion on most of that post (I have class in 40 minutes, after all), but I will say this- you do write REALLY long blog posts. I'd get bored of that quickly, and I'm a freaking English major- all of my homework is reading and writing.
So cut back, and see if that makes this more enjoyable and your best friendship better because you're less worried about the blog.
It's not like you really owe any of us anything to post your blog; although obviously lots of people enjoy reading it.
i love dry humping.
I love Calvin's comment about dry humping. Win!
Jake, if you don't enjoy it don't write anymore. It shouldn't become a chore!
It's your attitude that needs to be adjusted before you get married not your life. If you had the attitude that you could respect authority with a job, I wouldn't suggest you get your life in order. However, since you couldn't even stop yourself from getting kicked out of school, it doesn't seem like you have the discipline you need.
That's just my opinion.
And are you my ex-bf? It sounds like it.
Also, I hate when people tell you certain things are bishop confession worthy. Only YOU can decide if that's bishop confession worthy.
Lots of successful people never get college degree's.
Sorry, not rating us after promising to is uncool.
Your cool, just take a break, figure out whats up with Sanders and tell us about it later... and then rate us.
Dude, you are so right. Marry when it feels right regardless of where you are at in your life with the "crap", Regardless of your age. If your prayers are answered... God'll help you figure it out.
i was just talking to my friend about what being "ready" to get married....i think it's total crap to say you're "ready." NO ONE is ready to get married when they do...it's just a matter if being willing to commit to one another. so many guys i have gone out with either bore me or annoy me...and until i find one that doesn't, i'm not "ready." i think it's the person you find...not a state of being. you'll be "ready" together if it's right.
Ok Jake, I don't even know if you are reading your comments this time (because it's probably a chore) but I haven't commented in awhile and this post warranted one. I am a stranger after all but what I think I have learned about you is that you get bored really easy. You get bored with your jobs, girls and now this blog. When you finally find a girl and a job that keeps you interested you will know for sure. Maybe Sanders is that girl and maybe she is not. I used to get bored too and then I met my husband who keeps me laughing everyday.
Hey Jakers.
Um.
Maybe this was my favorite post of yours ever?
I like that you got all raw and pissy. It's good to know there's more to you than girls and boners - which of course I knew, all along.
As someone who has a lot of readers herself, I understand about the pressure you feel sometimes to write and entertain. But bottom line is that it's your life, your damn blog - do what you want with it. Take a break. Tell us to eff off. Whatever.
I don't think you need all those things to get married or have a serious relationship. My husband went from about 9 years old to, oh, 18ish when we got married. ;) He's 27 now, and allllmooost 25. It's a work in progress. But that's okay!
(And you don't have to rate me. I promise I won't feel bad.)
Give Cal a kiss for me, eh? ;)
xoxo
Brie
The attitude you have described and are now defending is consistent with the biographies of some major historical succeedors while in their youth like Albert Einstein, Benjamin Franklin, and Theodore Roosevelt.
I suggest you look at getting a law degree and using it as a entrepreneur, starting your own business or running for office. Outside the box thinkers don't learn the same way as the rest of us, so we shouldn't force them to try.
-Blazzer
By "getting all of your crap together" I'm going to assume that your readers meant it might be time to grow up- get a real job and get something going for yourself. Receptionists make more than $9 an hour. Checkers at Walmart make more than $9 an hour. Put in some work and become a man. It's a good thing you've found a girl who doesn't have high standards in that area, because I sure as heck would have never married (or even thought about marrying) someone who couldn't even handle making it to work on time for a $9 an hour job.
No, you don't need a degree to be a great guy, husband, father, etc but having some real responsibility is probably a good thing to get started on before you take on a wife and get started on that large family of yours.
Marriage is hard as it is. Having no drive to accomplish anything will just make it MUCH harder.
Jake my boy, screw the ratings. If they didn't do it publically they ain't worth it.
You are hitting on a very important point here too.
Girls want romance and love. However only if it's delivered on a platter of certainty and security.
Bitches man. The kind of guys who wait for marriage till they have all their ducks in a row can have those superficial broads.
Bob Marley had it right - "I wanna love you and treat you right, We'll share the shelter of my single bed, - for Jah(God) provide the bread."
You'll treat the girl you marry right, shouldn't matter where you at now.
I want to tell you how lame this post is... but then I read the title and realize you already know - HAHA. You're a stud.
"Fine, if you don't want to write it... then don't, you big baby."
I like Calvin's posts better anyway.
Awe, you miss your friend... how cute.
JAKE,
DON'T FEEL OBLIGATED.
I'll admit I'll be slightly sad but don't worry about entertaining... this is your life... not all your "followers" you can do or NOT do what you want.
...that is all....
Dear MBP Followers,
I never address you... just Jake and Calvin but it pisses me off...
Those of who are judging... honestly saying, "this is bishop worthy" GROW UP.
Dont' tell someone what to or not to do... you're a freakin follower... you have no right.
YEs... I'll proably piss some of you off.... So I appologize but honestly these guys are expressign their souls... THEY DON'T DESERVE TO BE JUDGED... even if YOU don't agree with what they are doing.
I agree with Julie.
Does anyone ever really have their "crap" together? I don't care if you do have a degree, make 6 figues, or own your house outright. No one has their "crap" together 100%, because no one is perfect. No one will ever be perfect. We all have struggles. People need to get off their high horses, and admit, even they might not have their crap together.
Go with your gut. If you want to keep blogging, then do it. If you feel like you need a break, then take it.
You are trying your best and I think that's why Sanders said what she did. She knows you, unlike the rest of us. She is not worried, so why is every one else?
We love you, and we're all rooting for you. Whatever happens.
I have total confidence that you will do what's best for you. Things will work out. Keep your head up, and keep the Lord #1.
You shouldn't do it if it's that big of a deal. Just sayin'.
I speak truth.
No lies.
Luv.
Shelby Lou
Yeah, I'm pretty much going to tell you if you dont want to do it dont do it. The end.
We would miss you but you have to do what makes you happy and if this isn't it....*shrugs*
Hilary, Stace... you girls are awesome. Thanks for the comments.
Calvin, I DON'T think you are a girl, but I DO think you have either 1) a pornography problem, and/or 2) a serious attachment disorder. See a therapist
Jake, do what YOU need to do. Also, thanks for not being okay with dry humping. Too many people justify it, and it is wrong. It's a relief to know that there are still guys out there with standards. I found this Conference talk when I was having similar issues, and I think readers of this blog could benefit:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=074d3ff73058b010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
(if you can't look it up, it's called "Making the Right Choices," Elder Richard G. Scott)
Hmmm since you don't have a job...I said long ago in a comment that you shouldn't try making money off of your blog at The Churches expense, but I take that back. Monetize! Get some adds up, you have plenty of traffic to make some kind of earnings now. Maybe that will make the blog worth it. Sucks that you see it as a chore now...but you also see everything as a chore. I agree with who ever said you get bored easily. But you cant stop now that you have almost 500 readers! well I guess you could but what were you expecting? Good luck with what ever you decide.
1) Ignore the hater comments. They are ignorant morons.
2)I think anyone who has written a blog has felt this way. I have.
3)If you feel like the blog is jeopardizing your friendship with Calvin, talk to him about it. Maybe even take a few weeks off from the blog. Let Calvin take over for a week or two.
4)I'd hate to see you leave! I love your posts!
5)This is about the longest comment...ever.
Dry-Humping? Seriously? Nice way to test the waters with your readers. I'm sure an unnecessarily detailed gross post is on it's way... please don't!
Geez, your are such a bad version of a Mormon. It is so pathetic that I can't stop reading this garbage.
I think you should ask your Bishop what his opinion of this blog is.
When I married my husband, he almost literally didn't have a penny to his name. He had recently returned from a mission, and was a college student. I, on the other hand, had graduated from college a year before, and "had my crap together" a little more than my husband did. (In the terms above dealing with money, etc. In all reality, I think he's always got his crap together more than I do.)
BUT...
Is he a good man?
YES.
Is he a good father to our little guy?
OH YES.
Is he working on being the family-supporting man he wants to be?
YEP.
Honestly, I don't think it matters so much whether or not you've got all kinds of accolades and toys when you get married. I have plenty of friends who married men who "had their crap together" who ended up being selfish, abusive husbands. And now they're divorced.
You sound like a good guy. Sanders loves you and doesn't care about your lack of job, etc. You make her happy. Pray about it, then... go and do.
Jake,
This is prob the most personal comment I have ever left here but I am hoping it will be legit.
I DON'T have my crap together and so all of 2009 I refrained from dating. I had one semi-date last January and immediately following was him pressuring for sex. So I said adios to him and all other unfamiliar guys.
I had one friend I had horizontal & vertical make-outs with 3 times throughout the year and when I finally "cowboy'd up" to look past the crush, nothing was there.
I am lonely and longing for the fun of dating without the "future" pressing down. I want to change and just take it day by day, make good choices daily, both in my romantic life as will as the life-life crap.
I know you have Sanders, but past that we seem to be in a similar life-life situation. So I guess I am recommending you take it day by day with me. Make good choices for YOU and the rest will follow suit.
xoxo Kat
I know how you feel about the L bomb thing. It's scary. See how you might feel if you went a while without her in your life? Figure out if you really love her or if you love her company as someone to replace Andrea....
And don't stop the posts. Ignore the anonymous readers who say mean things.
<3 April.
Amen to Diva's comments. Pretty sure if you're offended by this blog you might wanna stop reading it.
Jakey I'll be super sad if you stop blogging...but do what ya gotta do.
<3
I certainly don't have as many followers as you, but I still only post when I feel like it.
So you may have said you loved Sanders but weren't really sure if you do because you don't know what love is... if you enjoy spending time with her and want to see where your future could go with her don't let something like that get in the way. I'd recommend talking with Sanders about how you feel that way you won't have this hanging over your head and hurt your relationship with her. Dating is a learning process. You'll find what works for you through experience.
Now quit your cryin' and man up!!! :)
haha ask your bishop about the blog. haha good one. if you dont want to blog dont. just give us a fun little update every once in a while cause we will miss you!
i've only been reading your blog for a couple weeks and i love it! at first i was a little iffy, but then i decided that...hey this is a look into what a guy actually thinks. i actually liked your post because it showed the real you and i really like the fact that you don't agree with dry humping while courting. meh, who am i, but i say do whatever you want. keep blogging or don't, but i LoVE reading this blog :)
Thank you for posting the way you did, just dumping it all out. Write for you, not for us. It's you I want to hear about, not what you think we want to hear. It's why I started reading your blog and why I follow it. It's why I blog... for me. There are always time when there are things to talk about but we don't feel like saying anything. None of us ever really are ready for anything in life. All that really matters is having the maturity to deal with it when we get there. Thank you, again. You made my evening.
You probably won't have time to read this because of the food network but i thought i would just tell you that it is okay to take a break from blogging.
you should stop for awhile and when you feel like writing again you can come back.
I know you feel like you have to entertain your followers, but didn't you start this blog as a form of release not necessarily for anyone to read?
I think you shouldn't write if you don't want to. Go do something else you feel is worth more of your time. {such as playin videogames or whatnot}
and i might sound like an idiot but what the heck is a 'raspberry'? I was a tad confused.
If you decide to stop writing just know, We love you :)
Take a break. Might miss it, might not, regardless you'll never know if you miss it enough to come back unless you leave. Instead of dragging out your detachment, make a clean break ASAP if it seems to be the best, most beneficial decision to whatever makes you happiest.
just post when you want, don't be obligated.
I have to agree with most of what has been said here. Love is personal and different for everyone, if you are having doubts that is normal because most people are scared of marriage. I would suggest trying to figure out if you are scared of the idea of marriage (which everyone is) or of marrying Sanders. There is a big difference and deciding which you are nervous about will help you know what to do. I also have met a lot of guys who seem to have their "crap" together only to find out that they have HUGE commitment issues. I think that I would rather have someone who has great potential than someone with their ducks in a row who is scared of moving forward. I love your posts, and admire your honesty and am cheering for you. I also like the idea of making money off your blog. It is definitely worthy of that. Good luck with everything!
Jake. Jake. Jake. This is my son's name so I will pretend I am addressing him in this comment, therefore...it is straight up what I would tell him.
People who say just get married and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest are full of a lot of shiz. Nothing could be further from the truth and saying that is false doctrine. If this little theory were true then the brethren would not tell us to get an education and to prepare for lifes disasters, I think it's called being self-sufficient. Do we as Mormons sit around thinking God will provide for us if a disaster hits, or did he command us to have a 3 month or 1 year supply? The commandment isn't pray hard and have faith alone...faith without works is dead, remember?
I am not bagging on faith, prayer and marriage, I am just reminding the slothful servants that prayer and work go hand in hand. It's like jumping into a lake without knowing how to swim and thinking that God will be your life jacket. Maybe he will, but isn't it smarter to wear one before you jump?
I have been married for 18 years and am by no means an expert, but I know more than you and yea looking back there is a hell of a lot me and my husband would do differently and that is not to say I have a crappy marriage, I just know better now. No two marriages are the same just like no two people are the same, but that doesn't mean that generally speaking, certain things about all marriages are the same.
You know when you are at a missionary homecoming and the missionary is only telling the good parts of a mission and you are sitting there thinking about the hellish parts? No one ever tells you that after the cosmic farewell of Janice Kapp Perry songs and food that missions are hell. Then you get out there and hello, you have a psycho companion who masturbates and crazy sisters with monthly priesthood blessing menstruation requests. A lot of aspects of a mission suck big time. Marriage is the same. After the hoopla, the infatuation, the reception, the sex and lots of trials you think, why the hell didn't they tell me about this shit in church? No it's get married in the Temple and it's all good...well maybe it is, but more than likely, it isn't. This is not to say that marriage isn't good even through the trials, it can be, but it is wise to find out who you are before you rely on someone else defining that for you and then finding out how flawed they and you really are.
If I sound cynical about marriage, fair enough, I don't care, I don't lie. Truth is truth and just because Mormons like to paint the perfect picture doesn't mean I have to smoke the perfect image crack and lie like everyone else.
Just be prepared, like our leaders have told us to be. :)N
Jake, just do what feels right. Take a break from the blog if you need/want to. We'll all survive. As for Sanders and the Love stuff, just take it one day at a time, just because you said I love you to her doesn't mean that by the end of February you have to put a ring on her finger, just take things at your own pace, one day at a time. You don't need to have all your crap together to get married either. If you can see yourself being happy with Sanders for Eternity, then just jump in with both feet and go for it, have the faith, and put in the prayer and fasting and you won't go wrong with it, just don't make yourself feel rushed with things, take it all at your own pace and do it as things feel right to you.
Just one day and thing at a time Jake, just one day at a time....
I have never once commented, but I just have to say I wouldn't miss you at all Jake. I still read your posts but only because I hope you'll talk about Calvin.
Bring on Calvin's Corner, that would be the best blog ever!
At least take some time off and let Calvin write all the posts for a bit.
Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts Jake.
Every post you prove a little bit more that you are a selfish ass.
member that secret blog i've alluded to? ask me more about it sometime...
i'd also like to hear more about this dry humping convo. i have great dry humping stories i could share as well (but i won't...)
I'm going to say exactly what you said people would.
"If you don't want to do it, don't."
Personally, I'm getting sick of READING your posts. In fact, I skimmed this one. I've decided that in reality, you guys are selfish players that need to get a life. I don't know if I consider myself a "fan" anymore. So yeah, if you stop doing the blog, I'll survive.
Just take a break. Problem solved. as for "Love" thing. Prayer and fasting...have you done that?! Do it! You know it will help! : )
Getting burnt out on blogging, and don't know what to say. take a break! as for the "LOVE" thing. Prayer and Fasting. You know it works. Have you tired it? Do it? You know it will help you!
By getting your "crap together" I think most of us, or at least me, meant that you need to man up and be responsible. From your posts it seems as though you are perfectly fine to have others do everything for you while you laze around watching the food network. To me, getting your crap together means that you be an adult and take on some responsibility. You think most people like taking orders from their boss? Hell no. But we do it because we're grown ups and that's we do.
Now that that's over...
If you need to take a break then do it. You have no obligation to us to post. It is your blog. You can do whatever you want with it, even if that's nothing. I just suggest that with your spare time you may want to try getting another job...
NO NO NO Please stay! I have no drama in my life; I need yours. Also, I told my mom about you... soooo
umm ps after reading all the comments I think you are fine if you want to take a break, but I for one, will miss you. :[
You could have a PhD, a six figure salary, own your home and still not be completely stable. When people say you need to get your act together before getting married they mean figure out what you want out of life. You don't seem to enjoy anything. You've said that yourself.
I don't mean to diagnose or judge you without knowing you but you seem like you genuinely want feedback so I will offer it. I think you would benefit from seeing a therapist or a counselor to help improve your mood and sort through your concerns. If you are honest with yourself I think you will see that marriage is not the best choice for you right now when you are so uncertain about life.
I have to agree with Niki that there is a lot more to marriage than meets the eye. It takes a lot of work to have a great marriage. Even if you do everything in your power to make it perfect, sometimes it still doesn't work out. You need to know that going in to it. It can be very enjoyable and fulfilling too, if you marry someone who compliments you and the two of you are ready for the commitment. It doesn't sound like you are ready for that kind of commitment.
Wow, Nikki...I don't know what to say. Love and marriage is different for everyone. It is personal and for some, it is mostly good. I married my best friend. We dated exclusively for 2 years before we married. We were young and honest and friends. We have been married for 20 years and have 4 beautiful children. We had nothing (and I mean NOTHING!) when we started and have built a life together. It doesn't have to be harsh to be honest. Jake, what I am trying to say is respect her, be honest with her and love her, who ever she will be. She should be strong and kind with a big heart. She should be your friend as well as your wife. Sure, there will be rough times, but if you are friends, it will be easier going through it together. Think about who you want to tell when something funny happens or when something great happens...is it Sanders? Does she make you smile? I dig your blog - it reminds me of a time long past. Do what feels right for you. Keep communication open. Nikki - the truth you tell is your truth just as what I say is my truth. When I think about the past 20 years, I think of all the good, not the bad. I choose half full. We are all flawed but I choose to see the good, and after 20 years, the bad is really not so bad. Just like Sanders see the good in you, Jake. Jobs, money and material things will come and go during your life...but love can last forever. Good luck, Jake in whatever you choose.
Sounds like you're feeling guilty DramaDiva.
Jake,
Tell Calvin you are taking a month break and thats that.
Calvin,
I think it's time to include another MB into the circle of trust. Let someone else blog with you. I always wish for like, two more people on here. Another idea have different dudes tell stories about there dating lives through email to you.
okay, i reallllly hate posting comments because really, then you just feel judged, and i get judged, and other people judge, even if i wasn't judging (ha ha) ANYWAYS;
1. take a break from everything, seriously. go out and camp or something, go with calvin and get away from life, think about yourself and the things you want. you sound overwhelmed and that is not a fun place to be
2. so your doubting if you love sanders or not, well i have to say doubt is not of the Lord it is of the devil. (food for thought)
3. get your act together. no really, i know everyone says oh if you love her and get married in the temple follow the commandments blah blah blah.. WELL just because you follow the commandments and have love DOESNT mean you'll be okay. personal example; my parents have been married over 20 years. this last year, my mom lost her job, my dad lost his job. They moved to a family in our wards house and lived in a childs bedroom on air mattresses. They have love, they always pay their tithing, attend the temple regularly, prayers, etc. they ARE faithful members of this church. you can't just go on and do whatever the heck you want, you need a plan and you need to have that self sacrificing mentality. my dad got a job he HATED, he sprayed houses for bugs, a teenage boy was his boss. but you know what, he still has that job because he needs it and he needs to provide for our family. (granted i don't live at home anymore, im on my own) everything has slowly worked out and they have a house, my mom has a job la la la BUT don't just jump into something your not ready for. so your never ready for marriage because there's no way to prepare for that, but be ready to support someone else, to be relied on, and to possible go through total and complete HELL. The more you prepare for a marriage or anything in life the better off you'll be. you can't get married with a penny in your bank, what about groceries? housing? insurance? etc. really, think about it. please don't be one of the LDS people who just get married because they feel good about it, sure it works out, but it can be better than just working out, it can be i made it work because i was ready.
3. this turned out longer than i expected. sorry. i don't mean to lecture but i just don't want to see someone who isnt ready say they are ready especially to sanders who ALREADY has married someone who wasn't ready. she deserves the best version of you, so find it :)
p.s. if you don't blog, i'll miss you. i agree with almost everything you say. but it's okay i'll live and maybe actually do my homework like i should be doing instead of reading your blog. :)
p.s.s. dont judge its not a very healthy characteristic :)
You could write a post about the time you told Sanders that you are one of the writers of the MBP and her reaction.
Or you could write a post about the time you had to enable comment moderation on this blog because too many people know your real identities and you are scared of someone letting the cat out of the bag.
Sanders knows what sex is like and craves it since she is divorced. That is why she probably has lower standards than most mormons and likes sleepovers and dry humping.
She is starting to remind me of Britney (that girl Calvin dated that wanted him to sleep over and have sex all the time).
you deserve a break from the blog, jake. just post when you feel like it. :)
The next time Calvin keeps nagging you about writing a post on this blog, just close your eyes and imagine your wife nagging you about taking out the trash or flushing the toilet or to get off the couch and quit watching football or playing video games all day... and then you will pretty much know what it's like to be married.
No more sitting around scratching your balls and farting all day like a couch potato, you'll have to get up and work to take care of your 14 kids, whether you feel like it or not. Even if you are Mr. Mom, taking care of kids is just as much, if not more work than a full time job.
I am not saying that being married or having kids is a bad thing, they are both the best thing that has ever happened to me. But you will not magically change into a different person when you get married. You will still want to sit around and do nothing, that doesn't mean that you should.
Jake, I know we would all miss you terribly, but I think you need to take a break. Sometimes blogging just gets boring or too routine. No worries. The desire will {probably} come back.
Believe it or not life would go on for every person associated with this blog. Most people would probably be better off without it!
Do what you gotta do Jake. I'll miss your posts if you stop, but life will go on. Calvin can write his own blog, I'd still read that. I have to admit, my friend and I had a blog and I was always bugging her to write, so I can't condemn Calvin for that..haha. Take a break if you need to though! :)
Wrong... nope, don't stop blogging Jake. Don't listen to everyone else, if you stop, with your personality you'll never start again.
I beg you Calvin's the cutest guy, but I couldn't follow if it was just him or just you. It wouldn't work.
Wait? You guys started moderating comments because people were on to you?
Uh oh... careful boys, have you seen this blog?
www.exposembp.blogspot.com
i know people have already mentioned this, and if you really feel like you don't need to respect authority/go to school, what i say won't change a darn thing.
but what can i say, i'm a glutton for pointless internet interactions.
like a bunch of other people, neither my husband or i had "real" jobs or degrees when we got married. we didn't have a lot saved up. what DID have was a desire to work hard. even for crappy bosses. even for professors who were demeaning.
we worked really hard, and we finished school. we got jobs. we still "don't have our crap together." so we keep working.
you don't need degrees or jobs to get married. you do need a desire to work hard. stop being a prick who considers himself the ONLY person who shouldn't have to work a crap job, or take classes you don't like.
love and kisses,
stephanie, the mormonchildbride.
I keep going back and forth about whether I think this blog is real or fake. I am pretty sure that some of it is made up. But this post makes me realize that you are just a real person... you are insecure, defensive and lazy, but atleast you're honest.
Megan - are you the writer of that blog or something? You seem to keep bringing it up for some reason.
Jake - you should learn to appreciate your best friend.
Calvin - will you marry me? Oh wait, I'm already married. :)
That would be a dream come true if my husband were nagging me all the time to blog.
So now I just need to cross reference Utah purchases of Assassins II with the local purchase of button fly jeans and I should be able to pinpoint the Walmart you shop at.
People say "get your crap together" because we either are married and know what real life is like when you don't share the rent and utilities and putting that responsibility on your wife is a lot, or either because we are looking for a real man, not a guy that is achieving nothing in life and sits at home playing Video games.
It is always easier to see on the outside what things can be fixed or changed than when you are the one living it. That is a hazard of blogging for the world to read what is going on in your life, especially to people that have made themselves anonymous. We call it like we see it and are blunt, just as are you. If you can dish it, you have to take it as well!
-N
Can I just say I think this Carmen San Diego girl is crazy and needs to find something better to do with her time? I was totally creeped by her blog.
The more comments I read, the older I feel. And trust me I am friggin old.
But you guys make me laugh whether any of this is true or not, it's amusing for an ancient fart like myself.
And really? you kids still call it dry humping? I thought that was my era.
Now I hear levi lovin. Maybe that's out now too.
Anyhoo, being married 25 years, no one EVER has their crap together. We didn't get married in the temple, too busy partying, but smartened up after the kids. And still, there are tough times. You either love the person and will work through ANYTHING or you won't. Period. I'd comment on the whole Sanders sitch, but since I'm not convinced it's all real, I'll leave it alone.
And if you need a break from blogging, take a freaking break. No one's holding a gun to your head right? Or is Calvin armed?
Here's my two cents.
There are two classes of readers of MBP: 1) Those who think life is a romantic comedy (typically 18-20 yr. old LDS girls), and 2) Those of us who agree with Nikki and think most of the people who comment on this blog are incredibly immature but can't stop reading.
Jake- You'll do what you want anyway... but you need to figure out what you want in life before you decide that Sanders version of life is right for you.
The ideal courtship (as defined by the brethren) consists of a long dating period and a short engagement. Take your time dating and deciding if you want to actually get engaged. Once you do, make sure it is short because it sounds like Lisa is pretty randy.
Also, getting you crap together does mean having a job and getting a degree in our society, in spite of what all those that fall into category 1 above think.
i think you'll know that you love sanders when you tell her about the blog...
you know the "big fat Hawaiian guy" is dead right?? Not very respectful dude!
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