A couple of months ago, we received an email from an MBP reader and she asked some really good questions. We waited a little while to answer them so it didn't seem like we were so full of ourselves that we assumed everyone wanted to know everything about us. We're really not that interesting in real life. We're just able make ourselves sound that way on this blog.
1. You say Jake and Calvin aren't your real names? How did you pick the names then? Do they start with the same letter as your real names or was there some other special reason?
Calvin: We decided that the best way to keep people guessing would be to choose a name that started with the first letter of our real name... then pick a name that rhymed with the name we chose and then switch names.
Jake: Yeah, then we put them into an excel spreadsheet with the first names of every male character from a FOX sitcom, alphabetized them, and assigned them to a song from my itunes playlist. Then on iTunes we hit the shuffle key. We put numbers into a hat and drew them out. Calvin drew 34 and I drew 122. After shuffling iTunes, song number 34 was "Paint It Black" by Rolling Stones which on our excel spreadsheet coincided with the name "Calvin". Number 122 was "Breathing" by Yellowcard which coincided with "Jake". Thus history was written.
Calvin: (hearty chuckle) If you're gonna make stuff up like that, at least use a song that I like.
Jake: Sorry, dude. I don't have very many Bangles or Spice Girls on my iPod.
2. Since you are sort of like a couple I want to ask how you guys met - I know, on your mission - but whats the story? Is there a story?
Calvin: Oh, there's definitely a story. We met in Ireland. Jake went on his mission a little late so I was an "older" missionary. I had heard rumors of the infamous Elder Halifax, but I didn't really know much about him until I replaced him in one of our areas.
Jake: Yeah, I had heard about Elder Marler. That he was the funniest elder in the mission. I was nervous for the day we actually met. Then it happened, for a Zone Conference my companion and I had to travel and stay the night in Calvin and his companions flat.
Calvin: I don't think I was the funniest elder. Actually, wait... I take that back. Elder Harrop was funnier than me, but he went home right before you came out... so I guess I was the funniest elder. Anyway, Jake and I hit it off pretty well right away.
Jake: We talked late into the night in the kitchen, it was kind of like heterosexual love at first sight.
Calvin: We both realized that we had a lot of the same types of previous employers and a lot of the same interests. We were both shocked that it had taken so long for us to finally meet.
Jake: The funniest thing was the next day at Zone Conference we were sitting on the back pew of the chapel talking and our mission president walked by. He greeted us, and then did a double take. He stopped and said, "Uh, Elder Halifax,? Elder Marler? You guys know each other?" He seemed a little concerned as we explained our meeting. It was like he didn't want us to ever meet.
Calvin: Dude, I forgot about that. That's true. It was like he had been purposely trying to keep us apart for some reason and seemed simultaneously baffled and concerned that our paths had crossed. Maybe he knew that we both had the potential to be awesome missionaries, as long as we never served within 20 miles of each other.
3. Do you frequently get girls asking you to meet or to reveal your true identities?
4. Do you guys talk about your posts or do you just write them and say, "Did you see my new post?"
Jake: Most of the time we will tell each other what we are planning on writing about. Then we write it and it always seems to change a little while we are writing. However we almost always read each others posts before we post them. Calvin definitely reads mine to correct my shotty grammar and spelling.
Calvin: You mean "shoddy"?
Jake: Yeah. Thanks.
5. Calvin, are there some things Jake does that bug the hell out of you?
Yes. There are. The worst one, though, is Jake thinks that he's awesome at multi-tasking, but he really sucks. He's always trying to do other things while he's talking to me on the phone. I'll ask a yes or no question and then I'll sit there silently and wait for Jake to answer me. When he finally answers, I'll say, "What are you doing?" and he'll usually lie and say, "Just sitting here in the dark." (We've had the same discussion often enough that he knows that's the only answer that will satisfy me. He's essentially saying "There are absolutely zero possible distractions in my environment at this exact second.") And I'll ask, "Is the TV on or something cause you seem really distracted?" He'll lie again and say, "No. I'm just sitting here in the dark, dude. Relax." Then I'll start walking up the driveway and I'll see the TV on through the front window. I'll go inside and he'll be sitting there watching the Simpsons on mute or something. Basically, I need Jake's full, undivided attention when I'm with him and I seldom get it. It bugs.
6. Jake, are there some things Calvin does that bug the hell out of you?
Jake: Nope. Calvin is perfect. The only thing that bothers me is that he is not a woman.
Calvin: I knew you were gonna do that. Now I feel all guilty.
7. Have you guys ever fought over the same girl?
Calvin: No. We haven't. We were just talking about this the other day, funny enough. The only thing we have in common when it comes to girls is that we both prefer brunettes and she needs to laugh hysterically at everything we say.
Jake: Dude you always say I prefer brunettes and that isn't true... I have no hair color preference I just seem to end up with brunettes more often.
8. Since starting your blog have you run into fans/followers that you didn't know beforehand in real life?
Jake: Not yet. I'll definitely blog about it when it happens.
Calvin: I don't think so. I do think it's funny when I go to the store or something and I see a hot girl. I'll usually try to smile all awkward like, and she'll give me a courtesy grin and walk swiftly the other direction. I think to myself, "It would be so awesome if she reads my blog. What a hooker. I hope when I write a post about this that she feels like a pile of dog doo when she realizes it was me she scuzzed off."
9. What "big" callings in the Church have your Mom's and Dad's had? Currently and when you were growing up?
Jake: When we lived in Seattle my Dad was in the Bishopric and my Mom was Relief Society President. Right now my Dad is the Scoutmaster and my Mom does Stake activities or something.
Calvin: My dad was in the Young Men's presidency when I was in the Young Men's program. It really kinda sucked cause he made me go on the camp outs and stuff.
10. How nervous are you, or how important do you think it is that your blog remain anonymous?
Calvin: Our anonymity is kinda like Santa. He'll bring you presents if you believe in him... and he may still bring you presents if you ever stop believing him, but the presents are always a little bit cooler when you think Santa came in your house while you were sleeping.
Jake: Calvin is far more nervous than I am about us getting "caught". It is pretty much the only thing that we seriously argue about lately. I think that bloggers think that everyone reads blogs, but everyone does not read blogs. In fact, way more people don't read blogs than do. I really doubt our measly 400 or so followers comprise a large enough pool for us to be concerned about getting caught. That said, I think that our anonymity is paramount. Without it I don't think the blog could exist.
Calvin: I'm definitely the more cautious of the two of us. Jake is pretty fearless when it comes to our blog. It's like that story about the cliff's edge and the guys talking about how close they can get without falling off. That's Jake. I'm the guy who says, "I stay as far away from edge as possible."
Jake: No. You're the guy who refuses to apply for the job because you heard a rumor that there was a section of road that might be dangerous.
Calvin: (laughing) Whatever, dude.
11. Are you the kind of "best friends" that have everything in common?
Jake: Ha ha, we have so few things in common it's amazing that we can talk for hours and hours and hours.
Calvin: When we were on our mission, I was shocked with how similar we were, but since we've been home it's become much more apparent that we are nothing alike.
12. Do your roommates know about this blog?
Jake: They don't even know that it exists. It's not even that they have heard of the Mormon Bachelor Pad and don't know that we write it. They don't even know that MBP exists.
a) If so, how can you trust them to keep it quiet? You can be pretty hard on them, what do they think about that?
Jake: So do I need to answer this one?
Calvin: No, dude. You only answer it if the answer to the previous question is "yes".
Jake: Yeah, I can see that. But why even put it on this post if we are not supposed to answer it?
Calvin: Don't you think it would be confusing if we just skipped to "b)".
Jake: We could just change "b)" to "a)" so people didn't wonder where "a)" went.
Calvin: But if there's no "c)" and we're skipping "a)" can't we just leave out the whole lettering system?
Jake: Yeah. Let's do that.
Jake: Yeah. Let's do that.
b) If not, how do you keep it from them? Are you worried they'll figure it out?
Jake: We don't have to do anything, like most men, they don't care about blogs. No, I am not worried.
Calvin: Our roommates are morons. It's really not that hard. I guess the biggest worry is that a girl will get suspicious and plant a seed in their head or something. But, again, the soil isn't all that fertile so the seed would probably shrivel up and die within about 20 minutes.
13. Do you prefer blondes or brunettes? If you made a list which have you dated more of?
Jake: As stated above I do not have a preference. However, every girl I have had a significant crush or relationship with was a brunette. Except Sanders, her hair is light brown or dark blonde.
Calvin: I think that means you prefer brunettes, dude. Whether you're scared to acknowledge it or not.
Jake: Ok, Calvin. I'm scared to admit I prefer brunettes. You're right. Geez.
14. So far you have dated mostly younger, fresh out of High School girls (which is fine, I was dating RMs as old as 25 right out of High School) do you shy away from or avoid older women? What would you say your age cap is?
Jake: I picked this girl up I was set up with right after my mission. She was 18. Her mom was 36... my date was okay, but her mom was smokin! I really want to go out with her mom, she is single... but I worry she wouldn't ever take me seriously. Too bad.
Calvin: I don't think I look old enough to date anyone older than 25, even though I secretly wish I could date an older woman. My age cap, though, is 16. Definitely no younger than 16.
Jake: I think she was asking about the upper cap, Calvin.
Calvin: Really? Oh. Um... I don't have one of those.
Jake and Calvin
Q & A Part 1