My older brother, Rod, has been married for about two years. He got married while I was on my mission so the only memory I have of his wedding are the photos my family mailed to me while I was in Ireland. His wife's name is Molly and she is pretty freaking awesome.
When my family mailed me the photos I remember thinking, "Wow. She's really not attractive." I passed around the photos to other missionaries to make sure it wasn't just me. It wasn't. She's actually bordering on being ugly. Which is odd because my older brother is a pretty good looking guy. He's hilarious, as well. His sense of humor is more crude than mine is, but he's always making everyone around him laugh. I don't feel threatened by him, either. I think it's because (since his humor is so often off-color) people get sick of him rather quickly. Usually, people laugh hysterically at first. After 10 or 20 jokes, the laughter starts to die down and it turns into "courtesy", awkward type of laughter. But when he keeps on telling the gross, bodily function, personal hygiene types of jokes, people usually get irritated and leave the room. That's when I used to step in and steal all the attention.
When I was in Ireland, around my 18 month mark, my family put together a video of everyone in my family. It was amazing. I got to see how everyone had changed since I'd been gone. But it was also pretty awesome to see my brother and his new wife. Rod was video taping her, asking her questions and it was obvious they were in love. There were lots of inside jokes and Molly's laugh was adorable. I could tell from the video why he had chosen to marry her. She was perfect for him. He even made a "period' joke on the tape and Molly cocked her head to the side and said, "Roooooodney!". But she was smiling and it was obvious she was doing it out of obligation and that she really thought the joke was funny. She was perfect. Except she was ugly.
I got home from my mission and met her for the first time. It was weird meeting a new member of my family that everyone else had known for an entire year. I noticed she had a big butt. Not just "round" or "hippy". She had a big, unproportionate rear end. I watched Rod cuddling her on the couch and tickling her. She was kicking and giggling. It was cool to see them interacting... in person.
Rodney is my go-to man for dating and marriage advice. I'm not sure if he should be cause he's only been married for about two years, but it's two years longer than me so I know he has something to teach me.
I went to my parents house for dinner on Sunday and Rod was there with Molly. I pulled him aside and asked him what I should be looking for. I asked what I should expect. He knew what I was asking even though I couldn't didn't know exactly how to ask it.
He said when I was ready, I would just know. He stressed that it's different for everyone, but assured me that if I was sensitive to the Spirit, I would know her when I met her.
I asked Rod how important it was to hold out for the hottest girl possible. He glanced around quickly, like he was preparing to tell a racist joke and wanted to make sure there were no Asians in the room. Then he said, "Listen, Calvin. Molly isn't the hottest girl in the world. In fact, she's only about a 6... but she's amazing. It shouldn't matter how hot your wife is, as long as you know you can be happy with her."
Even though Rod's advice is sound, I haven't been able to get over the fact that he told me his wife was just barely above average (depending on his own personal scale of attractiveness). Then again, if his wife was super hot, his advice wouldn't have been quite as meaningful to me. I'd have just thought, "So you're telling me I should be comfortable marrying an ugly? That's easy for YOU to say." But since his wife isn't hot and he admitted to me that she's not hot... I dunno... it just makes his advice mean a lot more to me.
For the record, when I get married I will never ever... ever tell anyone that I think she is less than a 10. Can you imagine what could happen if Molly ever found out that Rod only thought she was a 6?
I think I'm going to start wearing a button on my shirt that says something like, "Who is Keyser Soze?" or maybe "There can be only one!". If a girl approaches me to tell me how awesome my button is, then I'll just propose to her right there... where ever we are. Wait. First, I'll ask if she's Mormon and if she'll scratch my back during Sacrament Meeting.