Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Interview

Here at the MBP we have been receiving a lot of email. More than anything we get questions from you readers about us. Sometimes we get caught up enough in our stories that we forget to fill you in on the little things. So we decided to respond to one of these emails with this post. (Thanks "S" for the questions.)

1. Do you guys care if the girls you date are smart? Are you interested in what they are studying?
J: Of course I care. I think the key word in this question is "date".
C: I want them to be smart, but not smarter than me. If they DO happen to be smarter than me, I need them to fake it just a little bit until we've been out a few times. I don't care what they're studying as long as they're studying me. BAM!
J: Ha ha, you know I would love it if a girl was smarter than me... I just don't think that's possible.
C: What... you don't think a girl exists who's smarter than you?
J: I'm sure there are like a bakers dozen in the world that are smarter then me. I just doubt the chances I'll meet them are good, and then if I do, the chances they'll be attractive are even worse.
C: Um... what about spelling and grammar? I think there are a bakers dozen in the world who are worse than you.
J: Well, yeah, but what does that have to do with them being smart?
C: I don't know dude. I don't know.

2. When do you start praying if a girl could possibly be "the one"?
C: If a girl gets past 6 weeks or so, I usually start trying to think ahead a bit.
J: If she fits 80% of my "Values for Wife" list and we have had a DTR, and the result of that DTR is that we shall date exclusively, and after having been exclusive for a few weeks she isn't annoying, and if I am willing to talk to her during a show that I am watching without requesting that she wait for a commercial break then, if I can find a time when I'm not very tired because if I'm tired, then my prayer would be worthless because I would probably fall asleep mid-prayer and wake up 6 hours later still kneeling by the side of my bed with a wicked gnarly kink in my neck... then, of course I would pray. I am Mormon.

3. Would you consider, or have you ever dated mormon girls who weren't white? Or is that all that they have in Utah?
J: I have pretty much every kind of "racist sounding fever" there is. I was so disappointed when I moved to Utah and every girl was white.
C: No. I haven't. I have dated girls who weren't white, but they were Mormon.
J: What?
C: Well, Jake, she's asking if I've ever dated a Mormon girl who was NOT white. I said that I have dated Non-Mormons who were white, but not vice versa.
J: Oh, ok. I get it.
C: Good. It's not that hard.
J: Wait. I still don't get it.
C: Have you dated Mormon girls who weren't white? ... I'm asking you that question.
J: Yeah. I have.
C: Well, I haven't. I've dated non-whites, but none of them were Mormon. So they don't meet both criteria in her question.
J: But you said, "
I have dated girls who weren't white, but they were Mormon." That's exactly what she was asking.
C: No I didn't.
J: Dude. I just scrolled up and I copied and pasted your answer exactly. That IS what you said.
C: Whatever.

4. If a girl broke up with you because she prayed and felt impressed you should stop dating would you believe her?
J: Um... I don't know. A girl has never broken up with me.
C: Yeah. Me neither. Sorry. Hypothetically speaking, though, I'd probably follow-up with her and try to find out exactly what she said in her prayer. I mean, maybe she asked "Is Calvin the one for me?" and she felt like the answer was "No". Well, what does that mean exactly... "the one for me"? Maybe I'm not the one to take her to Frightmares at Lagoon, but I might be the one for her to marry. Who knows?

5. Do you think it is cool if a girl can grapple (knows jui-jitsu)?
C: I'm not sure what jui-jitsu is exactly, but I'm sure it has a lot to do with flexibility and stamina. That's kind of intimidating. I think it's cool, though, so my answer to your question would be "yes".
J: Cool? I don't know...
Grappling is like wrestling which could lead to a gentle tussle and then possibly a um... I can't think of nice way to say it. A horizontal make-out. So, so long as she isn't always karate chopping me and sweeping the leg. Then I guess it could be cool.

6. Are you ever too intimidated by a girl's looks to ask her out or approach her?
C: All the time. I've always wondered what I'd be like if I was ever at one of those costume balls, like in the olden days when everyone wore those half-face masks that are all bedazzled and glittery and stuff. I think I'd be a womanizer at one of those things.
J: I pretend that I don't approach hot girls because I want her to "think" I am not interested... that I'm "playing the game," but truthfully I am terrified of them. I just say that so people wont know I'm a wuss.

7. If your patriarchal blessings speak about your future wives, do you guys ever think about it when you are dating a girl, if she meets that criteria?
J: Certainly, I picture her in white too, sitting across the altar and all that stuff. They teach you to do that way back in Deacons Quorum so... I may be incapable of dating a girl without doing those things.
C: My blessing is pretty specific about my future wife so I use it as a mold for every girl I come in contact with. Not only girls that I date, but girls that Jake dates... girls that Nick dates... girls that Aaron dates. I don't do it with Lance's girls, though, cause I'm pretty sure my wife will need to be wearing white at our wedding.

8.
My last question, if I sent you guys some pictures would you "rate" me?
J: Actually, no need to send anything. We're now your Facebook friend so just let me quickly peruse your photo's. Hang on...
C: I've already looked at all of your photo's so I'm prepared to rate you right now. Let me check my notes... ok... you don't have hundreds of photos so my opinion could change if I was given more photos to look at... or maybe some video. It looks like in most of your pictures you're about a 7 or so. However, you have 3 photos where you're easily a 9. That tells me that you are either really hot, but take bad photos... or you're pretty hot with the potential to be really hot if the lighting is just right.
J: 7... and a half. 7.5 is my rating. That does not include personality at all. So there's a good chance if I got to know you and included your personality, you could end up a high 9 overall. However, since I don't know you really, there's as good of a chance adding personality could drop you to a low 4, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Thanks again for your questions "S". I hope we answered them to your liking.

-Jake
-Calvin

76 comments:

Alexandria said...

First!

Alexandria said...

Yep...first because I am lame and reading this instead of studying!

You two are a crack up! Srsly you guys bicker like a married couple...hilar!

Oh...and good plan to stay away from Lance's ladies. You don't want to catch the clap or anything....

kelleidoscope said...

Aw.. it's cute that you guys are 'intimidated' by hot girls. But I've gotta say.. get over it! Take a risk guys.. sometimes it won't pay off but sometimes it will. :)

And the rating.. gosh. I could never ask a guy what they'd rate me, I don't think I could handle being anything less than a 7! Is that shallow? Yes.

Allison said...

I love it. Maybe I'll leave some questions/a picture for you to rate... but I'm slightly afraid that you'll rate me lower than a 4.. hmm//

Nicole said...

I like this whole Q&A thing. This definitely needs to continue!

Mel said...

You guys almost make me wish I was Mormon, and 5-8 years younger.

Jade said...

You guys crack me up, loved your answers. The Q&A is a keeper, it gave me some good laughs.

Megan said...

Bwahahaha (sigh) "sweeping the leg"

Anonymous said...

ouch. No way would I want to be rated by a stranger. After reading your ratings for yourselves, I went to my hubby and told him I'm probably a 5. When I get way dressed up, I'm probably a 7. Maybe an 8 if we're talking super glamorous. He got ticked. "Whatever, you're at least a nine when you get all dressed up - and a 7 when you're not".
And that's why I married him, folks. He's a damned good liar.
-Emily

Jade said...

I have to agree with Allison and Emily though, I'd be scared to death to have you guys look at my facebook and rate me. I pull way to many faces to even get a decent score... "s" is a brave girl or whatever it is.

Kristin Lee said...

I love the Q&A thing.

I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and honestly, it doesn't seem to intimidate anyone...it's actually kind of depressing.

And I agree. You guys fight like a married couple. Maybe you've already found 'the one'. Haha.

Ashton Dene' said...

Love the Q&A and the fact that sometimes I have to read your answers more than once because I get confused...and I like to think I'm kinda smart!

Anyways, love this! and the laughs!

x, ash

Ash Att said...

Calvin and Jake, I love this! You should keep up the Q&A's for sure!
thanks for the good laugh

Melissa said...

Seriously. I love the banter between you two. Super funny. I like the Q/Aness. If you did it more often I wouldnt complain.

Lula! said...

I don't speak Mormon, so more than half of this was lost on me.

Patriarchal blessings?
Deacons Quorum?
DTR?

And here I thought I knew so much, what with watching Big Love and being BFF with BusyBeeLauren!

Autumn said...

I definatelly think this should be a weekly thing. Although I agree with the girls. I couldn't handle you rating me, partly because I'm a redhead, and I don't take amazing photos. Redheads always get lame scores. Ever notice that? *sigh* Oh well. Your answers were great. And I don't see either of you as "douche" bags. Jake, I went though today and read all your posts. I can't believe you were afraid to kiss Andrea. But when you did pull her out of her shell, dang! haha. That's the thing, if you boys get us out of our shells, things change most of the time. Keep em coming. And keep arguing with eachother. It's funny.

Autumn said...

*definitely. I knew I it looked weird.

Kami*Sue said...

You guys have the best blog. Ha ha seriously I laugh every time I read. I love it. I agree with everyone that the Q&A should continue!

Lauren said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tara said...

Yeah, will you guys do a non-Mormon Q&A for us "nons"

whaddo we just email you q's?

Amy said...

I like this. Do this EVERY week boys!

By the way, what qualifies someone to be an interviewer?

Fun stuff.

Cyd said...

Now I want to know what you think of me on facebook, but I am sctually just too scared to ask

Natalie said...

The whole time reading that I kept reverting to the thought:

wow the font colors they chose are making this trippy 3-d effect, where the blue is in front of the red..

no drugs, kids. no drugs.

you should just make a post and rate every single commenter. just like that.

Calvin said...

Tara: Of course we'll do a non-Mormon Q&A. It might end up being significantly less funny because we'll be talking about details surrounding our beliefs. Ahhh, who am I kidding? I'm sure we can be kinda funny.

Lauren: Are you sure? Cause sometimes our ratings can be a hard pill to swallow.

Lula: I'd love to answer that question for you.

M and C said...

I want to be rated!

I think you guys should do more of these. I liked this post.

TechieGirl said...

Nice guys, this was surprisingly a lot of fun to read. Well done. =)

Autumn: I know this is going to sound weird, but I've never met a girl red head that wasn't damn good looking. I'm not bi, but I definitely can appreciate a good looking girl, and red heads are hot. =)

Sara said...

This is slightly demeaning and yet I don't seem to mind. Weird. You two could probably get away with a lot more than you should. At least don't rate a girl unless she asks... although, you might be able to get away with that too, just don't rate me ;)It has a good flow. Nice blog.

Autumn said...

TechieGirl. That's quite a difference then the rest of society. haha. Maybe it's just the boys that think that then? :]

Buggsby said...

you should do a Q&A about how the rating system goes... I mean... what do you base it on. I've always wondered as I head guys talking about rating girls... what exactly they are judging...

Buggsby said...

part of me wants to be rated, but then again maybe not... and I kinda have a thing about friending random people on FB..

Buggsby said...

meaning I don't do it usually

Kelsie said...

oh Rate me! I want the honest truth!

Kaylen said...

thoroughly enjoyed the Q&A-- and i didn't comment on Calvin's date, but want to let you know that i thought the patriarchal blessing plan was SOOOO funny.. oh man! & Did you keep a straight face while telling her not to look because it might say something about her?? i wouldn't have been able to do it. I would've busted out laughing for sure.. That is SO classic! Good work- she digs you for sure

Ashley Lin said...

Looks like you guys are going to ilhave to start a rating system. Maybe you can rate one girl (who asks) daily. You guys could end up breaking a lot of hearts...

Lorelei said...

Have you guys seen this? Perfect ranking system!

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/125361/dwayne_perkins_ranking_method/

cheers
lorelei

~kiMbeRLy~ said...

You guys never disappoint! The Q&A was fun. @Lula... the Mormon language is tricky, don't give up! You will catch on and then all of this will be even funnier (I mean no offense to my religion..y'all have to admit that its funny sometimes. As for being rated...I will just believe the lies of my sweet husband!

Shelby Lou said...

I'm dieing. I'm laughing so hard. This is the best. I want to be rated!! Tell me tell me! You wont hurt my feelings. I just want to know.... you already know who I am, hopefully. Anyways.

So I think the smarter then you question was spot on, exactly what I was thinking you would say, both of you.

Neither of you have been dumped? I've been dumped twice, but I've dated like 7 or so guys and I've always been the one doing the dumping. I think thats ridic. You both must be REALLY good looking, and awesome or you are just too good to stick in it even though you know the ship is going down.

If that made any sense at all.

Eppy said...

Never been broken up with? What a cushy life.

Don't worry. Someday a girl will come along who will beat you to the punch, and make you go "Aw dang."

Or something like that.

Calvin said...

I'm not counting Mindy. Do you guys think she counts? Honestly.

whyimstillsingle said...

This is hilarious! You guys are gonna have your own hotornot going on here. Btw, my co-blogger and I discussed you guys this past weekend. We determined that you are sitting on a goldmine. Basically, you can keep building up all these girl fans for as long as you feel like it and THEN! (when the time is right) you can drop the anonymity and have a steady stream of dates for at least the next year!

Surely you've already thought of this? ;)

Melissa said...

Technically you dropped her but she did try to date your "engaged" roommate before you dropped her. Tough call.

Mmm but I totally have a friend that made the HUGEST rating scale. It gives a compatibility percentage at the end. Based on like Twelve categories that are weighed based on how much they matter.. maybe i'll see if he'll send me it. Tho technically he doesnt know I know about it... still it'd be worth getting a hold of.

Andee said...

I WAS going to ask you to rate me, but then I decided I didn't want to feel worse about myself.

It's good that you're honest though.

and I agree with everyone else.
You should keep this going.

lifechick said...

Hilarious post, guys. I got the same headache on #3 that Jake did.

I was actually going to say there's no way some girl asked you guys to rate her. What's the point? Unless she wants to date you guys.

Then I clicked on the comments, and saw a bunch of other girls asking to be rated by you. I can't imagine they all wanna date you, too. No offense. ;)

It's just funny to me people want people they can't see rating them. How much stock can anyone put in such a rating? Of course, maybe I've got it all wrong, and it's because you guys are now anonymously famous (both a paradox, and an achievement!).

Maybe MBP ratings are the wave of the future. They'll be required listings in Facebook/MySpace/dating profiles, so that 4's know better than to try for 7's, etc. You'll be providing a public service to the world!

caitlin said...

So when I read this I think, "wow, they're kind of shallow...but, also kind of honest and mostly funny." I don't know why, but reading about your love lives is addicting...and a great way to procrastinate. Also, we're Facebook friends and I know you perused my photos so rate me, and be honest gentlemen.

darlene said...

you must be having real fun with question 3. lol.

aubrey said...

wow! i love this blog... how do i get some of my questions answered??

Living In Your Letters said...

I've got an idea for you...you should do a feature, maybe on the sidebar of your blog, where each week (or however often you want) you feature a girl you think is a high rating (say, 7 or above)? I would find that quite entertaining.

Loved the post. Can't wait for the future Q&As...

Heidi said...

You guys are hilarious! Loved the Q & A!

Alexandra said...

Is your rating on the normal scale or on the Sliding Mormon Scale of Hotness?

(Not that I'd ask to be rated, or anything. Because I'm so not in possession of a self-esteem to be comfortable with that. )

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Ladies, we have received your requests to be rated. We will oblige you... however to quote the immortal words of The Dude,

"...look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, ...you know, given the nature of all this new shiz, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?"

So be patient and we will sort you out.

-j

Kathleen said...

See... being rated sounds somewhat terrifying. I'd love to, but I'm scared. My self-esteem could probably not take it.

Hilarious post though, as usual.

Nate said...

Hmm...I haven't gotten much out of these last two posts (but obviously I am not the target audience). The first date with Tori sounded strange, and this interview segment was...different.

Oh well, can't please everyone I guess.

TechieGirl said...

Major kudos for quoting The Dude!!! My respect for you guys just went up a good 10 points! Man I love that movie... =D

Bekah said...

Dude- I got so distracted b/c I have no idea what the freak a Patriarchal Blessing is that I didn't even laugh at the joke about Lance

Anonymous said...

Why do all these girls care about what a couple of random guys think about how they look and what they would be rated?! Especially the ones that are married!
Why are these strangers' opinions so much more important than the the opinions that come from the ones they love... and especially they're OWN self image.
Am I the only who see's a problem with this?!

Bekah said...

And I just read Lula's comment and died b/c we're totes on the same wavelength in our confusion about Mormon language.

Except Lula- DTR? Are you serious? You went to Liberty- and a DTR is a staple in Christian school language! They make you take a test before you get accepted!

I KNOW you know who SCC is!

Anonymous said...

I thought this post was a little boring. I think you guys are trying to be cooler than you really are by some of your answers. I thought the point of this blog was to be honest and be yourself and not pretend to be something you're not...?

Ryan Hadlock said...

I love the serious comments about this post. The people taking any of this seriously are the same ones who think "The Bachelor or Bachelorette" is a great way to meet and fall in love with your soul mate. If someone wants a random guy to rate their looks, why does that bother you? If you don't think they MBP guys are entertaining, I'm sure there are "Biggest Loser" reruns on somewhere.

I think the guys are hilarious! The only thing I take exception to is the not dating smart girls stuff. Really guys? Grow a pair and date girls who can challenge you a little (at least when you're ready to settle down ;-) ) There are a lot of hot, smart girls out there. B-)

Anonymous said...

Yup Ryan... you pegged us to a tee... how do you do it? (sarcastically)

Erin and Paul Anderson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

P.S. People who make generalizations sound like idiots!

Ryan Hadlock said...

Oh no, anonymous posters getting their panties in a wad!!! Imagine that. Why don't YOU sack up and post under your name? Afraid your Elephant-man like features will get a low rating from the MBP boys? And, and I thought you didn't care. I'll take you seriously when I know who you are. :-) Oh but wait, you don't care what others think, so we're good right now...

As Sistas In Zion said...

Heard a joke today that made us think of your fabulous blog!

Question: What's the difference between taking a bath in dirty water and dating one of the guys from Confessions from a Mormon Bachelor Pad?

Answer: The dirty water leaves a ring!

Lauren said...

You guys rock! You never disappoint and I love reading all of your goodies.

It was hard for me to get past question 5 about sweeping the leg, because all I could think was "Put him in a body bag, Johnny!!!" Good stuff :D

Alexandria said...

lol at Ryan's comments! You are funny my friend! love it.

Lula! said...

Yes, I went to Liberty University (RIP, Jerry Falwell...how I loved ye...)

No, I have no idea what DTR is.

And DUH--I've seen "SCC" in concert...THREE TIMES, baby!
"This is the great adventure..."

p.s. MPB fellas--please forgive us evangelicals...clearly we're nutso.

TechieGirl said...

Ryan you're on my list of favorite people. I'd tell you to cherish the spot, but that'd be pretty cocky so I'll keep my mouth shut.

Brittany said...

I have never commented before but I've read your blog and I LOVE it! I look for new posts everyday lol...I also would like a non-mormon Q&A! I had TONS of mormon friends i was really close to in HS but im still lost. And i also think it would be interesting but scary to be rated!

Tiffy J. said...

please facebook stalk, and rate me...and I will think about sending you an email.

Anonymous said...

Well, I once loved your blog.. and i still do! But this post was retarded.. serioulsy. I too would be afraid to have you rate me.. you guys are kinda mean when it comes to that!I guess you guys are just being honest right.. except I talked to my freind.. who is a boy. You guys are like to the extreme.. I am pretty sure not all RMS are like you. Atleast I hope not!!

Desiree M. said...

This doesn't really have to do with the post...I just wanted to announce that I have given in and am officially following this blog. I may even look you guys up on facebook. I don't want to find this blog interesting, but I do.

I don't know why so many are afraid of being rated...it's not like your opinion matters, we don't even know who you really are. I think it'd be hilarious to be rated.

Besides, we're all God's children and we're all beautiful. Or we will be. One man's 4 is another man's 9 and such.

Brittany said...

are you rating everybody based facebook?

Craig Barlow B. said...

I can support this Q&A session. This post has my support.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha.
I know who S is. :)

Elspeth said...

Haha! I really love your guy's interactions with each other I think you would make a good sitcom. Also, I totally agree with you Jake about the whole waiting until commercials to talk... almost nothing else is as annoying as missing some action on the t.v. because someone wants attention.

Physcokity said...

"I think I'd be a womanizer at one of those things." lol!

"cause I'm pretty sure my wife will need to be wearing white at our wedding." ouch! ;)