Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving from MBP


I'm thankful to be Mormon:

Jake: Because no matter where I go, there's always more girls than guys... except for Elders Quorum.

Calvin: I love the sense of peace that comes with knowing I'm a member of this church. I heard somewhere that Mormon missionaries are the second most desired group of males in America... just behind Chip'n'Dale dancers. I assume it's because they're young and celibate. I think that makes them more desirable by default... you know... like a challenge or something. Maybe I'll put on a white shirt, tie and my old missionary name badge and just go to a dance club one of these days and see what happens.

I'm thankful that I'm a bachelor:

Jake: One day I'll be married. I'll live with a woman who will expect certain things from me. Right now as a bachelor, if I sleep on the couch with the TV turned up on top of a bag of frito's that I will most likely enjoy in the morning no one will have any issue with it. If I decide that rather than go to work or school, I want to call in sick so that I can study my opponent in Fantasy Football or play xbox for the better part of my morning that's okay. If I want to skip a day of showering, and just deal with the slight odor the deodorant just can't mask no one is going to say anything. In fact people seem to attach things like I just mentioned to the term "bachelor". It's like if there is ever a question like for example, "So you're saying that Jake grabbed that slice of pizza outta that box that has been on the floor in the corner for over a week and just started eating it?" Then the answer can always be, "Yep he sure did, but he is just a bachelor afterall."

Calvin: You know that saying "Good things come to those who wait?" I imagine that being the case with my future wife. If I got married right out of high school or if a girl waited for me while I was on my mission and I married her right when I got home, then I don't think I'd fully appreciate her. I think waiting for my wife, looking for my wife, praying for my wife, envisioning my wife... even dreaming about my wife, will make the pleasure and joy of FINDING my wife even better. That's why I'm thankful to be a bachelor. Because it's only temporary and I'm doing my best to enjoy whichever chapter of my life I'm currently living. I hope my future wife is praying for me right now. I hope she's praying that I can get all the girl smooching out of my system before we meet. I'm trying, honey. I'm trying.


I'm thankful to be living in a home commonly referred to as a "pad":


Jake: If it was called a "crib" well it would be harder for me to avoid the title of douche bag. If it was a "den" then it would automatically send off a "Jake is dull" vibe. If we called it the "cave" that would definitely give me an excuse to be even more of a slob, but... may give some girls the wrong idea. "Emporium" is too trendy. "Hacienda" is too politically incorrect. "Abode" is really hard for dyslexics to spell. I would really love to call it the Mormon Bachelor Arena... but that does stretch a bit outside the realm of "living quarters" and I would have to constantly explain it to everyone. So really I am thankful to be living in the "pad" because all the other options, really aren't... uh... options.

Calvin: I'm not quite the "social animal" that my roommates seem to be. I enjoy my alone time. I like to read... and that usually requires silence which is hard to come by. I don't like how people drink my milk and eat my food. I don't like how people park so close to me cause there isn't much parking around our house. I hate that people don't replace the toilet paper with a new roll when it gets low and I get stuck waddling out to the closet with my pants around my ankles about once a week. But I LOVE it when my roommates invite girls over to the house who I've never met. I LOVE the feeling of connecting with a cute girl. I LOVE walking by the door to our basement and seeing a tie draped around the doorknob, signifying that someone is in the basement and would rather not be disturbed. I LOVE that entire groups of girls randomly show up at our house at all hours of the day and feel comfortable walking in the house without knocking. I'm thankful for all of those things. I like our pad.

In closing, we'd like to remind you about our plans to mail out MBP Christmas cards this year and we hope you'll send us one in return. Just mail them to MBP, Salt Lake City, Utah 84102. We figure if Santa gets mail addressed to only "North Pole", then we should be ok, as well.

23 comments:

ChloƩ said...

haha you guys crack me up. i love the whole thing about the bachelor pad and all the other names you could have called it. and Jake? i hope you find the girl that will let you do those things. i found the guy who lets me so.. i guess anything is possible.

20 Something said...

You guys are awesome. I am glad your grateful for those things. I am grateful you guys keep writing and entertaining us. Thank You !

Seneca said...

I teared up a lil.

Mary said...

good luck getting the christmas cards...
and i have to admit, calvin, you are my favorite.
happy thanksgiving, guys.

Alexandria said...

Okay honestly Jake I think you fellas should rename the 'pad' the Mormon Bachelor Arena..because it just sounds epic...and like some serious throw down happens inside it's four walls.

Calvin, the toilet paper thing...sorry but that is straight up hilarious.

Jen said...

So you have girls coming in unannounced and you waddle around with your pants around your ankles. No wonder you get so worked up over the toilet-paper issue.

Kristin Lee said...

Aw I loved this entry.

Bekah Buttons said...

I'm thankful you crack me up!

Jessica. said...

I feel like my like for Calvin goes up everyday....I used to be a Jake fan...but I don't know anymore.

Karin Katherine said...

Finally! The answers to my questions! LOL

Amy said...

Oh what would I do without you guys in my life? I really don't know.

Sara said...

I'm thankful for my crush on Calvin. Some day, Calvin. Some day.

Tara said...

Awe, great post.

I hope your having a good Thanksgiving Jake even though all the girls commenting are basically saying your best friend is better than you. That's gotta kind of suck. Don't you want to just say once in a while, "I'm standing right here."

love you guys!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Melissa said...

I'm gonna have to agree with Alexandria - Arena. mm so awesome. MBA might not have the same ring MBP does though. And might get confused with a business degree.

Paige said...

Mmm...so I'm a little confused about the Christmas cards. Am I supposed to send you my address or email? Ah, whatever. Here is my email and if you want my address I guess you can email me for my address?
Paige.Olivia.Designs@gmail.com

Andee said...

I think I've developed a small crush on Calvin.

Heather said...

"I hope she's praying that I can get all the girl smooching out of my system before we meet. I'm trying, honey. I'm trying."

Haha I love that.

I hope you guys had a great Thanksgiving!!

Katie said...

Oh my heart, I love this. You guys are awesome!

"I hope she's praying that I can get all the girl smooching out of my system before we meet. I'm trying, honey. I'm trying."--Best Part.

Hope you guys had a good Thanksgiving!

Maggles said...

Awesome post, as usual. A piece of advice for Calvin: keep the extra toilet paper in the bathroom instead of the hall closet. Surely it'll fit underneath the sink or something...

Sierra said...

I love this post

Ryan Hadlock said...

OMG you guys gave out your zipcode, your anonymity is in jeoprady now!!! Only a matter of time boys, only a matter of time...

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Ryan, you make me want to laugh so hard I turn purple.

Alexandra said...

Haha good things to be grateful for!

So true about there always being more girls than guys in the Mormon church. I swear my singles ward has a 5:1 ratio.