Thursday, November 26, 2009
I'm thankful to be Mormon:
Jake: Because no matter where I go, there's always more girls than guys... except for Elders Quorum.
Calvin: I love the sense of peace that comes with knowing I'm a member of this church. I heard somewhere that Mormon missionaries are the second most desired group of males in America... just behind Chip'n'Dale dancers. I assume it's because they're young and celibate. I think that makes them more desirable by default... you know... like a challenge or something. Maybe I'll put on a white shirt, tie and my old missionary name badge and just go to a dance club one of these days and see what happens.
I'm thankful that I'm a bachelor:
Jake: One day I'll be married. I'll live with a woman who will expect certain things from me. Right now as a bachelor, if I sleep on the couch with the TV turned up on top of a bag of frito's that I will most likely enjoy in the morning no one will have any issue with it. If I decide that rather than go to work or school, I want to call in sick so that I can study my opponent in Fantasy Football or play xbox for the better part of my morning that's okay. If I want to skip a day of showering, and just deal with the slight odor the deodorant just can't mask no one is going to say anything. In fact people seem to attach things like I just mentioned to the term "bachelor". It's like if there is ever a question like for example, "So you're saying that Jake grabbed that slice of pizza outta that box that has been on the floor in the corner for over a week and just started eating it?" Then the answer can always be, "Yep he sure did, but he is just a bachelor afterall."
Calvin: You know that saying "Good things come to those who wait?" I imagine that being the case with my future wife. If I got married right out of high school or if a girl waited for me while I was on my mission and I married her right when I got home, then I don't think I'd fully appreciate her. I think waiting for my wife, looking for my wife, praying for my wife, envisioning my wife... even dreaming about my wife, will make the pleasure and joy of FINDING my wife even better. That's why I'm thankful to be a bachelor. Because it's only temporary and I'm doing my best to enjoy whichever chapter of my life I'm currently living. I hope my future wife is praying for me right now. I hope she's praying that I can get all the girl smooching out of my system before we meet. I'm trying, honey. I'm trying.
I'm thankful to be living in a home commonly referred to as a "pad":
Jake: If it was called a "crib" well it would be harder for me to avoid the title of douche bag. If it was a "den" then it would automatically send off a "Jake is dull" vibe. If we called it the "cave" that would definitely give me an excuse to be even more of a slob, but... may give some girls the wrong idea. "Emporium" is too trendy. "Hacienda" is too politically incorrect. "Abode" is really hard for dyslexics to spell. I would really love to call it the Mormon Bachelor Arena... but that does stretch a bit outside the realm of "living quarters" and I would have to constantly explain it to everyone. So really I am thankful to be living in the "pad" because all the other options, really aren't... uh... options.
Calvin: I'm not quite the "social animal" that my roommates seem to be. I enjoy my alone time. I like to read... and that usually requires silence which is hard to come by. I don't like how people drink my milk and eat my food. I don't like how people park so close to me cause there isn't much parking around our house. I hate that people don't replace the toilet paper with a new roll when it gets low and I get stuck waddling out to the closet with my pants around my ankles about once a week. But I LOVE it when my roommates invite girls over to the house who I've never met. I LOVE the feeling of connecting with a cute girl. I LOVE walking by the door to our basement and seeing a tie draped around the doorknob, signifying that someone is in the basement and would rather not be disturbed. I LOVE that entire groups of girls randomly show up at our house at all hours of the day and feel comfortable walking in the house without knocking. I'm thankful for all of those things. I like our pad.
In closing, we'd like to remind you about our plans to mail out MBP Christmas cards this year and we hope you'll send us one in return. Just mail them to MBP, Salt Lake City, Utah 84102. We figure if Santa gets mail addressed to only "North Pole", then we should be ok, as well.