Twi-tards

Yep I did it. I went to a midnight showing of "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" I went with Aaron, and Calvin. We met up with these girls that we hang with often - most notably Becca and all her friends. Calvin brought Tori who of course knows a few of the girls... for a very slightly below average looking cheerleader, Tori is incredibly popular.

The hour before the movie started was exciting. The seating was assigned and yet still somehow there seemed to be disputes between Twi-moms and their Twi-teens scattered throughout the theater.

After an early scan of the theater I figured there were at least a dozen other men in the packed 300 seat theater. It became clear that our mistake was going to this movie with girls. Since Aaron has a body like young Jacob Blacks, Calvin has the same brooding sensitivity as Edward and I have more wit, confidence, and charm then every male character in the entire Twilight saga, I think we could have scored some serious digits.

Instead we went with girls we knew, which was still fun. I ended up sitting next to Becca of course. I was no longer interested, but hadn't really made that known, so... anyway the movie started, and man did it suck. "New Moon" was like the bastard child born because "The Happening" and "The Day After Tomorrow" decided to fornicate... after one of them contracted the virus known as HIV... It really was that bad.

To be fair, I have not read the books. It seemed pretty clear to me that having done so might have helped but man this movie was sucky.

Yeah I knew going in to it that it would suck. I tried to suspend my disbelief. I tried to overlook the blatant disregard for eons of vampire and werewolf lore which have been ignored in the movie. I tried not to be bored through the extremely slow build up. I tried to ignore the fact that not only was it a piece of crap but that it was an extra long piece of crap going over the customary (and courteous I might add) 2 hour running time. Then they managed to actually have worse special effects then they did in the first movie. The werewolves looked so terrible. "The Dark Crystal" had more convincing special effects.

Luckily, Becca loved it - and I think was a bit turned on. About 5 minutes after Jacob sheds his shirt she put her hand on my leg. The armrest between us was up already. I was eating popcorn so we weren't exactly snuggling hard-core or anything at first. Throughout the movie she was aggressively putting the moves on me. If I leaned forward she would scratch my back. When I leaned back she was rubbing my thigh, tickling my arm, and was just going with the cuddling. At one point I actually thought, "Why am I fighting this?"

After the movie, Aaron and I went back to Becca's. Yeah it was 2 in the morning, but we weren't tired. We hung out in her living room for a bit, arguing about the movie, and slowly Aaron and the other 3 girls went elsewhere. Once we were alone Becca and I started kissing. I fell asleep at one point. I'm not sure when exactly, I'm pretty certain it wasn't like my lips and hands just went limp mid-smooch, but I don't really remember deciding to go to sleep. I just know it was dark, late, and we were lying side by side on the couch... and then I woke up, and I woke up alone.

I look around and Becca was nowhere to be found. There was no smell of breakfast and no sounds. I went to the bathroom and was purposely kind of loud - shuffling feet and closing the door loudly and clearing my throat and stuff. I was hoping if Becca or Aaron was awake they would hear me stir and come out of wherever they were... nothing.

I texted Aaron to see where he was. His response, "Jill gave me a ride home after you crashed and Becca went to bed." I figured she was in her room asleep, so I left.

I feel a little bad... I guess. Because I had already decided that I wasn't into Becca... but what's a guy to do? I personally don't know that I could have done anything. I blame Jacob and Edward for the sexual tension they promote.

Jake