I'm lying on a couch in a dark room in Cedar City Utah which is about a 3 and a half hour drive from where I live in Salt Lake. I have stolen Lisa's iPhone. I am going to try and write this post on it. These thongs are pretty much the greatest thing I've ever seen. I remember when I workEed construction, ther was this guy who,, I sort of looked up to at the time because he would always talk about sex and drinking. (at 14 he seemed cool-I was easily impressed) he always used to say, "the most beautiful thing a man will ever, ever, EVER see is the naked body of the woman he loves" I bring up that memory because until I fall in love.., the iPhone is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
I'm too poor to own something like this, I got to play with this kid in my wards iphon, when he shoewd me how to use the facebook app to update my facebook status, other then that though I've never played with one. It is amazing tool! (no, Apple is not paying for this ad... unfortunately - if any of you is related to Steve Jobs, see if you can get him to read this first paragraphvof this post, and maybe he'll be impressed with "me" sohe will just up and give me his company, like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.)
I can't figure out how to zoom out. Or scroll up, or pretty much do anything so..... this could get pretty random.
Okay, I'm going to be extremely brief because this iPhone typing takes more getting used to than I thought it was going to.
Like a moron I decided to surprise Lisa (Sanders-i can't figure out how to make a link with this phone)and just show up in Cedar City. I was texting her, and asked if she had anything going on that night. She said, "no, I'll be doing homework." so I drove my butt down here. The whole time texting her pretending that I was in Salt Lake hanging with my roomies.
I Got here at like 8o clock. I knocked on the door and heard a lot of commotion. After a sec Her roomate answered the door, with a stupid look on her face she says, "oh my word." and then yells "Lisa!!! door!!! It's your friend Jake!" I hear more commotion, sounds like 20 people were in the other room. Lisa jumps around the corner, with a handful of "Apples to "apples cards in her hand. She looked excited and embarrassed and yelled, "Jake?" she ran over to me really fast and gave me a big hug. She was laughing and whispered in my ear, "nice surprise, Jake, I'm on a date." she looks at me, her eyes bouncing back and forth between mine looking for a reaction.
I can only imagine the stupid look on my face. Perhaps a cross between my 8th grade school picture where I'm leaning on that big white plastic 99 (the year duh) so my elbow was on the year - my arm was on the elbow - my fist was on the arm - and the chin of my stupid face was on my fist... So yeah that face, crossed with that other face I make a split second before I get hit in the face with something I see coming. (like this one time at lagoon,, when i looked up to watch a seagull poop mid-flight and then continued to watch it's assent and eventual explosion on to my right cheek bone.) so I'm there with this stupid face. Then her date walks around the corner. "Lisa?" Sanderf and I is still in hug position ,she pulls back and says loudly, "so good to see you!" them looks to this guy and says, "this is Elder Halifax from my mission. He just came to say hi. Uh Jake this is Beau."
perhaps I should have been upset. I mean, would it have hurt for her to say she was on a date? Probably not.
Then again I might havedone the smae thing in her position. Like, what are the chances I was going to pop in unannounced? Why say she has a date, when that could just complicate a thus far uncomplicated situation.
I was actually marveling at her use of logic. It was surprisingly very kind of hot. (I would try to explain how I felt about this to readers a bit better, but it ould take four more paragraphs, also if I don't move on I won't be able to see what I just wrote, and then I'll forget and then this post will make less sense then my usual.) Needless to say I found myself more attracted to her after the discovery of her deceit.
So I'm standing there and I look at Beau for a second and don't say anything. Then at her, then back at him. I'm kind of enjoy this moment because I know it's torture for her. Then I say "Nice to meet you." he invites me into the other room and introduces me. There were 6 couples. All on dates. Beau hands me 4 cards and says, "you know how to play?" I said yes, but said, "You know... as much as being a 7th wheel sounds like fun. I'm actually going to be in town for a couple days so I'll come back tomorrow or something. Is that cool, Lisa?" she blurts a quick laugh, catches herself and says "Really? um.,yeah that would be great." she smiled guiltilie, and I thought being a part of the inside joke was kind of fun.
Lisa walked me out to the door. "you mad?" she asks, "nope, but how soon are you going to be done with bozo in there?" I reply. She grins and says, "Depends on if I get lucky or not." I srarted to reply but she kissed me, then said, "I'll hurry." she kissed me quick again and then went inside.
I knew one other person in Cedar City. She was also a sister missionary that served in my mission. We were in the MTC together. Her name is Renee. I had been flirting with her for a few months. Her and Aaron had a little history together, but even he couldn't close the deal. All of that aside she was a really good friend who I hadn't seen for a long time. I called her and she was at a laundromat.
I went over and met her. She had lost weight (do sisters gain on their missions I thought? I decided I would need to do some sort of survey because every one that I know has lost big) she looked great. She is short and very blonde. She has a beard, but it was so blonde you have to catch the sun in just the right spot sort of behind her to notice it. I never cared about it. Her eyes were really her best feature. We talked while her laundry finished up then went and got some hot chocolate. It was really fun. She's funny, just like I remember.
So, I told Renee about me and Sanders. They didn't know each other well, but they knew each other enough. I figured them knowing would only increase my chances with both of them.
At about 10:30 Lisa called and said the coast was clear and I should come back over. I gave Renee a big hug. I think, pending I don't marry sanders, that I'm going to try and court Renee later.
After getting back to sanders place, we talked and made out. We decided we would get breakfast early so she wanted to go to bed. She wanted me to come with her. I told her I wasn't comfortable with that. Maybe I'm too soon off my mish, cause like I say, my room mates are all fine with sleepovers. apparently so was Lisa and a lot of girl. She didn't push though , and went to bed.
So here I lay on the couch, by myself, while Lisa sleeps in her own bed... I just got a "10%" battery warning so I think the iPhone's done. I can't be bothered to go back and try and proof read either so... Sorry to those of you who hate bad grammar/spelling. I'll see if Calvin is available to proofread. If not, I'll fix it in the morning.