When Jake and I started this blog we talked about how it was all going to work. We've spoken at length about how ignorant we are about computer/hyperlink/layout/format crap. Luckily, there are several people who have taken it upon themselves to help us out and we want them to know how much we appreciate it. Amy is the talent behind our buttons. She has actually made several buttons which you can find by clicking these four words. They're not set up to use on your blog because we're retarded, but if you're smart enough, I'm sure you can figure out how to steal them and use them as buttons. Good luck. Don't ask us for tips on how to do it, cause we don't know.We also discussed a plethora of things including the anonymity of the blog. We knew that the only way we could be 100% honest was if nobody knew who we were. But then Jake had a pretty good idea. He suggested that we find one of those "Cartoon Yourself" websites and create some animated images of ourselves that we could attach to each of our posts... kind of like an image signature.
We got distracted once the blog started up and the idea fell to the wayside. I recently stumbled across MyWebFace and decided to give it a shot. I created myself pretty quickly and then started working on Jake. I couldn't get it right so I gave up and emailed him what I had. He called me back and here is our conversation in a nutshell:
J: I don't like them.
C: Why not?
J: They're too avatarish.
C: What does that mean?
J: It's like they're trying so hard to be as realistic as possible, but really they just look fake.
C: Isn't it good that they look fake? I mean, if it was too real, then people might recognize us.
J: I guess so.
C: So what's the big deal? At least people will be able to have some sort of mental picture while they read our posts. Who cares if it's too cartoony?
J: I would rather it be more cartoony, like Garfield or Xmen.
C: Fine, if you don't like the ones I made maybe you could get Jim Davis or Stan Lee to draw some for us.
J: Uh... Sorry, dude it's not that you did a bad job drawing--
C: Whatever dude.
J: In any case I was talking to Lisa and we were talking about Twilight again. She told me how disappointed she was in who they had cast as Edward Cullen. She said she already had this fantasy about who HER Edward Cullen was and what he looked like and it was ruined by the actor they'd chosen.
C: (thinking) So... you're comparing us to Edward Cullen?
Calvin
42 comments:
You're way better than Cullin, you're not creepy stalkers who want to eat the girls you make out with.
But hilarious nonetheless.
Srsly. This blog would still be successful even if you two quit detailing your adventures in dating and just posted your conversations with each other!
Not that I am suggesting that you leave out the dating part...but my point is you two are hilar!
"So you're comparing us to Edward Cullen?" Win!
edward is om nom nom.
bottom line.
i'm not sure what else to say besides i love you, not out of obligation (from my post) but mostly out of, the fact that I do. I had a bad day... you made it better. That is love.
Shelby
P.S. Don't do the cartoons. Please, please please.
I agree with Alexandria I enjoy the conversations just as much as everything else.
I agree with Alexandria and Kristin. Your conversations are amazing. We could start up a Calvin/Jake sitcom. I wonder who we'd get to play you guys? Hmmmm....
Tough since we don't know what you two look like. Any ideas people? Ha.
You guys really have the best sense of humor. I bet your "pad" is freaking constantly laughing.
Uh... so where are the pics?
Haha. And by now, most people are in love with Robert Pattinson, whether he looks like "their Edward" or not.
So... the cartoons were a dud?
I wish I could just hear your guy's conversations (without seeing you guys). I'd probably pee my pants from laughing.
hahaha it's true people probably have this image of what they think you guys look like and if your cartoons are somewhat close to your actual looks they could be disappointed! But you should still totally do it!!!
The buttons are cute.. and Amy is pretty awesome.
Maybe it's the headache but I was lost for the rest of the post. Something about cartoons and Edward Cullen.
Wow it sounds like you guys have established quite the fan club, easy girls. I too laugh out loud at your posts and draw the attention of my roommates and strangers in the library, but I would miss the stories and insight - please don't just post convs. (Not that you actually contemplated it, but with so much encouragement I thought I'd be proactive!)
I feel the same way, about Edward Cullen, as Lisa. I mean to say that, I have images of both of you in my head. If you made yourselves into cartoons and gave me something to look at then I would only picture a cartoon telling me a story. I don't like that.
That is all.
it's always funny when boys talk about edward cullen.
hard to describe but somehow reminds me of when i see guys get dragged into victoria's secret. they feel like they should be cool with it but really it's just uncomfortable for everyone.
bahaha. that is awesome. i think you should still use the ones you drew, and then when you make new ones you can change them.
I agree with Alexandria, Kristin and Amy! hehe
And like Tera asked: where are this pics!
Also, Lisa and I are now fighting. I am Team Robward for Life! lol
So I've spent the past few weeks reading this blog. Love it. My friend and I have stolen your idea and created our own confessions. Check it out. I realize many other girls have done this...but I promise, ours is gonna stick.
I wanna see these pictures though.
I like your current updated pictures to differentiate your posts. For the older readers, it's neat. :)
Yeah, I laughed while reading this post. However, I am still shaking my head at the randomness. You win!
I agree with Sam. You don't eat the girls you date and you don't defy all the vampire lore that has existed for centuries. Random post, man. Really Random. =)
Oh, this is gonna be a long one... I apologize in advance.
Peeing my pants. Hilar!. Laughed out loud. Really girls? I didn't really find it funny. I'm sure it was a serious convo for Calvin and Jake shot him down. Not really a LOL moment. I certainly didn't have to run to the bathroom for fear I'd empty my bladder uncontrollably. You all sound like Valley Girls. However I did read all Twilight books... then sold them to a used book store and never read them again. Lame.
Another thing, not to be a Debbie Downer here, because I truly am deeply madly in love with Fake Jake, *cough* *shakes head back and forth*. I was mentioning this little, slightly not peeing my pants worthy blog to a friend at home in ear shot of my uncle who happens to work in the Honor Code Office at BYU. (Not specifying Utah, Idaho or Hawaii. Although if I were from Hawaii I think I would state it just cause who wouldn't be jealous right.) Anyways. He barges in saying, in his deep gruff voice, "Those boys should be very careful. Our office can find out who they are very easily. They are walking a fine line and could get put on probation or be suspended..." blah. blah. blah. I kind of tuned him out. Not sure the rest. I know. I know. Hate to be all depressing and I'm sure I'll be called dirty names. Some might even pray to Capital G that I be struck down for ruining their fun. Big deal. I mean. We don't even know if these boys go to BYU and signed the Honor Code. They could be living the life in some podunk town in the midwest for all we know.
I just wanted to put this out there. I honestly like reading this web site, it's makes me want to NOT be like that. I was going to email this to you guys but thought, what the heck, I'd like to throw in a bone and let your little Valley Girl Wolves hit me with their best shot!
In the event you never signed an Honor Code at your school... well then... By all means, carry on. Brethren. Carry. On.
I'm sure they appreciate the warning, Debbie. But considering that Calvin and Jake are both fake names, all names on here are fake, and they use a completely anonymous e-mail address, it'd be hard for the HCO to find out who they are, even if they're in the BYU Library updating their blog.
One more thing. I know. I've worn out my welcome, but I just had to add that I really like this blog and only put that up in hopes that under the Fabrication or Falsification section of the Honor Code that they would have to state their true names and such because I really to like Calvin. I heart him.
Really I was just being funny. Ha. Ha.
I know Sam. Just a joke.
It's clearly too early in the morning for me...
Why worry about the Honor Code Police when they are already compromising their eternal salvation through horizontal make outs and associating with girls that wear tank tops? ;-)
As for Edward Cullen (or at least the actor who plays him) - I don't get it. He has hair that looks like it hasn't been washed in weeks, is in serious need of a tan, and is super scrawny (although his vamp powers somehow make him stronger without giving him extra muscle mass). Why is he apparently so attractive?
Nate: He's so attractive because girls think Edward is being all romantic around Bella, when really he's just trying to prevent others from grabbing his steak and eating it. Like a college boy who thinks his roommates are going to sneak into the fridge and steal his juicy, tender steak. It's his. And he wants you to know that. End of story.
Sam: Clearly. Now hush. *whispering* you're gonna ruin my fun. Oh sorry, I typed that wrong...
*whispering* *twirling hair pieces* *pouting* you're, like, gonna ruin my, like, fun, Sammy. Now, like, hush.
There. I fit in.
I don't know - having some sort of picture of you might be a good thing. I'll admit that in my head I've created images of what I think you and Jake look like - and it's not very pretty - it would rank a high 3 to a mid 4 on the LOS. If you are sure you actually do rank higher than that - than some sort of picture could only improve your status.
haha I agree with Lizz. My image of you guys is not very high up on the LOS.
And to Nate--The guy who plays Edward is freaking ugly. That was definitely an epic fail on castings part.
Nate, nice call on the tank tops. And I'm PRETTY sure these guys are up at the U (or they're really good at the back story, which is possible), which further retards their Eternal Progression. And if people got kicked out of BYU for horizontal make-outs, the place would be empty. ;-)
Lol Thank you Nate and Sam and Ryan for making my Monday better with your comments and banter. =)
So I was talking with a friend last night about this blog..of which I just discovered yesterday. We live in AZ..so I think it's hilarious that you have such a huge following. My question is, you say this blog is anonomous but how long can you keep it up? Because lets face it sooner or later one of the people you write about IS going to recognize you and your cover will be blown. Then all of the not so nice, crude and "honest" comments will be linked to you. I know one of you said you wish that somebody would suspect you..but I don't think you really would. Think of the ramifications this blog will have for you once everyone finds out! I really think you'll end up regretting it..but you know what, you'd deserve it. ;-)
Not that I don't love this blog...it's ballsy. I just think you're crazy.
So basically what a lot of these girls are saying is:
they have an images in their heads of what you two look like and if their image is destroyed by a cartoon image that represents what you really look like, then they may be severely disappointed and not be as interested in you guys and your blog?
Or maybe they are saying that they think of you two as their Edward Cullen?
Okay, I'm officially 'weirded-out' by your fan base.
P.S. GO UTES!!!
I don't know about anyone else, but when I read posts from Jake, I picture him as having dark hair, a red shirt, and black shorts - perhaps like he is coming home from soccer practice. I picture Calvin as a short scrawny kid that runs around in his underwear with spiky blond hair.
I hope you guys don't ruin my internal pictures of you... ;-)
I like to picture Jake with a Tuxedo t-shirt, which says he wants to be formal, but he likes to party, cuz I like to party and I want Jake to party. And I picture Calvin as a bum on the street and I want to punch him because he's a dirty bum, but then I'm like wait a minute, there's something special about this guy...because he's Calvin.
Abracadabra Holmes.
Nate - great idea! Better than having any sort of picture posted we can share our mental images, because mine are nothing like yours or Ryan's. I picture both Jake and Calvin as having a white pastyish look because they are on the computer or watching TV too much. Jake I picture as tall and lanky with light brown hair that looks kind of like straw. I picture Calvin as medium height and about 15 to 20lbs over weight with black bushy hair, a unibrow, and prone to acne. (this is why i'm still not convinced that Tori is a cheerleader - because why would a cheerleader be willing to date someone who looks like that?)
Thank you Nate and Katie. I think that actor is so ugly and the Edward in my mind was a million times hotter. Terrible casting call.
Ha ha ha ha! Funny Nate.
I agree that I don't want real-ish pictures.
I like how Calvin has the whole Calvin and Hobbes thing going on, and I think it'd be cool if Jake had something like that. The only thing I could think of though was American Dragon: Jake Long, which is kind of lame. So I don't think Jake needs to change anything, unless if someone comes up with something better.
Maybe this makes me really nerdy, but I have to say it, Stan Lee wrote for Marvel. He was paired with artists, he didn't draw.
Fun fact!
www.simpsonizeme.com
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