I realized while writing this post, that I make a lot of obscure Mormon references. We are planning on putting together our own MBP list of Mormon definitions, but in the meantime, please use this link.
While I was in a super boring Sunday School class yesterday, I started exchanging text messages with Tori. She was apologizing profusely for canceling our date(s) last weekend. She asked if I'd come over after church and hang out... maybe play some games with her family. I thought it sounded like a great idea... except for the "family games" part. I figured the chances were slim I'd get to make out with her while her parents and younger siblings were playing UNO around the same table. Sometimes I wish I was confident enough to do one of those "table sweeps" where I sweep everything off the table and then throw a girl on top of the table and start making out. Doing it in front of her family would be the epitome of confident displays.
I got home after church and was getting ready to change into my p-day clothes before I left to go to Tori's. Then I thought, "Uh oh. What if they're one of those families who wear their church clothes all day long so they don't forget to keep the Sabbath Day holy?" I really didn't want to show up to Tori's wearing jeans and a wife beater so I sent her a text that said, "What should I wear?" About 15 seconds later I got her reply, "Comfortable shoes." I couldn't decide if she was being funny or if she really wanted me to wear a certain type of shoe. Well, Tori lives in East Bountiful... kind of up by the temple so I figured maybe she wanted to go on a hike or something since she's at the base of a mountain. So I changed into some hiking clothes that could also pass for Sunday Afternoon kickback attire and left.
When I got to her house I was invited in by her little brother. He said Tori was downstairs and that I should go ahead and go down. I pretended I wasn't familiar with the basement as I got to the bottom of the stairs. To my left, there was a TV room and it looked like most of her family were sitting in the chairs watching TV. Tori was in a different area of the large TV room and she was wearing this sleeveless shirt and some Track Bottoms... you know those bottoms that have button snaps up and down both legs? Her dad looked over from his chair and yells, "You must be Calvin." I thought about going over to shake his hand, but he was already staring back at the TV and didn't look like he was interested in standing up so I just yelled, "I am. Nice to meet you."
Tori and I engaged in some small talk for a little while during her stretching. It was pretty arousing to just sit there and watch her stretch. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to be doing. Then she started explaining the names of her stretches. After a few more minutes, Tori said, "Can you help me with this one?". I said "sure" a little too loudly and fervently, cause her dad looked over to see what was going on.
Tori laid on her back and put her arms out to her side, palms down. Then she lifted her legs up so her body and legs are at a 90 degree angle. She asked me straddle her body (standing up, unfortunately) and slowly nudge her legs to the left or right or straight. Apparently, the idea is that she doesn't let her legs touch the ground, thereby giving her abs a workout.
As I stood there pushing her legs from side to side, I noticed her Track Bottoms were sliding down her legs, exposing her bare calves. After six or seven pushes, I was actually grabbing onto her bare legs with my hands... and I'm pretty sure my hands were cold and clammy. Blast. Her legs were smooth, though. I hope she didn't notice the moistness of my palms. Or maybe she did and was flattered that I was nervous. Who knows?
What I DO know is that her dad kept glancing over as I was light petting his daughters legs below the knee. I stalled a few times while I was holding her legs, pretending I was thinking about an answer to a question. Really, I was just stalling so I could hold onto her legs. I'm pretty sure she noticed.
After 20 reps, Tori says, "Your turn!" Oh man. I laid down on my back and tried to position my hands the same way she had. Then I hear the TV turn off. I was like, "Crap. What is everyone doing?" Her mom and sister turned around on the couch they were sitting on and started watching. I tried to lift my legs up like she had, but I could only get them to about a 45 degree angle. This is when I started to get embarrassed. I am sooooo not flexible. Tori says, "Is that as high and you can get them?" I say, "Yeah. That's it." She told me to bend my knees a little bit in order to get my legs up higher. Once my legs were as high as I could get them, Tori nudges my legs to the right and I totally flipped over. Not only did my legs hit the carpet... I couldn't even get them off the ground to the original position. Her mom and sister started laughing and then I heard her dad say, "What's so funny?" and I heard his freakin' Lay-Z-Boy chair fold up.
So now the whole family is watching Tori shove my legs as hard as she possible can (at least it felt like it) toward the ground. After about three of them, it felt like Andre the Giant had punched me in the stomach right after I'd eaten a huge dinner on a Fast Sunday. I wanted to die. I think I did a pretty good job of laughing at myself, though. I said something like, "Man this makes me wish I'd driven instead of running here. I guess I must be tired or something."
After I had been sufficiently mortified, Tori tells me that we're going for a jog and that's why she'd told me to wear comfortable shoes. We went outside and started to jog toward the Bountiful Temple. Before we even got out of her subdivision (and I'm not exaggerating), we passed three different guys who carried on 5 minute conversations with her while I was standing there... not being introduced. They were all her friends who just happened to live on her street. And they were all pretty good looking dudes, in my opinion.
When we finally got some time to ourselves, she explained how she'd grown up with all of those guys and they were all either waiting for mission calls or turning in their papers for their mission. Even though they're all leaving soon, I still found myself slightly intimidated by all of the attention she was getting from them. I guess I should be prepared for competition and spontaneous work-outs and exercising, right? I mean, she's a BYU-H cheerleader, after all.
Things got much, much better after we got to the temple and slowed things down a bit. We walked around, held hands, and kissed for a while. Luckily, I had some of those Liquorice Altoids in my pocket and she likes black liquorice so it was significantly more pleasurable than the Greek food and Sprite. It was a good thing we were in a situation where we couldn't be horizontal, though. Those button snaps aren't enough to hold me back.