Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Past Comes Back to Kiss Me

Introducing Sister Sanders... I met her on my mission. We served in the same Ward in a little burb of Dublin. No, we weren't companions, there was a set of Elders and a set of Sisters both serving in that Ward. Almost every night the four of us would end up at the same members house for tea appointments. This went on for the full three months that I served there. It was sort of like going on dates. I mean, if I asked you what a meal, conversation, some subtle (and very slightly inappropriate) flirting during afters sounded like? You would probably say "a date" right?

During the three months we were there we became really good friends and were very close. Nothing inappropriate ever happened (except once without thinking I put my hand on the small of her back as we passed through a doorway - and I consequently felt her turn to stone with shock, to which I flung my hand away smacking my companion behind me. It honestly was 100% accidental and resulted in all 4 of us bursting into laughter)

Unfortunately our comfortable rapport seemed to some members of our ward to be way too comfortable. So, of course one of those nosy, judgmental, crazy members (I'm sure we all know one or two - like some of the anonymous commentors on this blog) took it upon themselves to go to our Mission President and tell him that, Sister Sanders and I, were dating. Apparently, the nark did specifically use the word "dating." Which was absolutely a bald faced lie.

The mission President pulled us into his office and confronted us, separately. I laughed off the accusation, but Sanders took it pretty hard. I remember sitting in the lobby and seeing her walk out her face flushed red and her eyes swollen with tears. It sucked. Even though I'm sure he believed us, our President transferred us both to area's on different sides of the mission and I never saw her again until last week, when she invited me to the Jazz/Spurs game.

Sister Sanders first name is Lisa, but on the mish you pretty much refer to everyone by their last name, so I just call her Sanders. (I still have a hard time using Aaron and Calvin's first names for the same reason) I've always thought Sanders is good looking. She is tall, 5' 10". She has shoulder length wavy dirty blond hair, her eyes are a real-light blue, like the wrapping paper on Kirkland bath tissue that you get at Costco.

On our mission Sanders was one of only three Sisters that I thought were cute. She is also wicked awesome. Sanders is a perfect example of a girl who on the LOS is a 6 or 6.5 but she is so cool and has such a winning personality that it bumps her to a 9 on the OS. Since she's been home she lost probably 20 pounds which means she looks good, but that weight loss wasn't at all necessary for me to find her attractive. The more I got to know her the more attractive she got. Now I think she is sexy. So when she called originally I thought, Sanders is hot, but she lives in Cedar City. I figured it would just be hanging out with an old friend.

That comfortable rapport we got in trouble for came back to us easily. The flirting, now unbridled by Mission rules was pretty fun. We caught up, talked about the old days, and the future and all kinds of stuff. I found out she makes the trek up to Salt Lake once a week or so for work or something.

We hung out again Sunday, she came to the house and we snuggled and watched "UP". She went back to Cedar City Monday morning. I kind of dig her. Always have. Cedar City is pretty far away though so I'm not even going to say we are dating or anything. When I hugged her goodbye I figured I probably wouldn't see her for a while.

Then this morning I woke up to the smell of breakfast. Egg's, bacon, and cinnamon smelled so good. It was an aroma I haven't smelled for a while... never in this house since no one cooks. Today is my birthday, so I smiled and thought, maybe my Mom came over to make me breakfast. Then I noticed Calvin wasn't in his bed and wondered if maybe he was giving it a shot. Last night after our chat interview with busy bee lauren, Calvin said he had a surprise for me. Breakfast would have been a big surprise from him.

I stumbled out to the kitchen, and there were my 4 roommates, sitting around our table while Sanders cooked breakfast. "Happy birthday!" Sanders called out. Calvin pointed out how cute I looked in my undies. I realized I was still just wearing my garments and hurried back into my room to put on some clothes.

Breakfast was awesome.

Afterwards, Sanders and I, started walking to the library. We were crossing the grade school field and I was teasing her about how at her age making breakfast for a bunch of guys seemed a little motherly. See, Sanders is 27! That's right 5 years older than this now 22 year old RM. We joked for a minute or two engaging in some playful banter and she shoved me up against the backstop of the kick ball field and said, "I'm nothing like you're mother." I agreed and spun her around and kissed her. We made-out up against the chain link fence. It was pretty rad.

We never made it to the library. I had to go to work today so we parted ways. When I got to work, in light of my birthday and Veterans Day the boss told me to go home. Sweet!

Sanders is coming to my Birthday Bash tonight, which is good, because she is leaving for Cedar City again tomorrow. I'm not sure what to call "this". I guess she's just my old mission buddy who's hot, 27, and lives 4 hours away... but whatever it is, I like it.

So anyway... no need to send birthday kisses... I already got some.

Jake

85 comments:

Lyss said...

I just wanted to be first. Happy Birthday Jake.

kelleidoscope said...

That sounds like a pretty sweet birthday present.. and she seems like a really great girl. Especially that "I'm nothing like your mother" remark. Ha, happy birthday Jake!

Heather said...

Ow ow! Go Jake! Good for you. And Happy Birthday!

Allison said...

YESS!! That was an AMAZING post. And happy birthday! Haha- is it sad that I know the exact color of her eyes because I use Costco toilet paper? Dang. I like this girl.

YMA said...

Is it just my computer or is the comment link soo small I almost missed it?..Tricky Tricky! Happy Birthday Jake! Sanders is a keeper!

Emily said...

Happy birthday, Jake!
I've been reading your blog for awhile now, but this is my first time commenting (meaning I'm not a hater. Actually I love you guys and think you're hilarious!)

I'm a little confused by what you mean by Sister. But anyway...older woman, huh? She's sounds great!

Jade said...

Man you walking out in your G's cracked me up, especially since Calvin pointed it out to you.

But way to go for the birthday makeout, it sounds like it was HOT!

Happy Birthday Jake!

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Happy Birthday dude.

whyimstillsingle said...

Happy birthday, Jake! This is an awesome story. I confess I also hooked up with some elders after my mission. Nothing sketchy during, though. :)

Shelby Lou said...

Can I get a "Hells Yeah"?! Seriously that is BOMB. No joke, I think that is so awesome. You are one lucky birthday boy today my friend! Happiest Birthday wishes, and I hope you get more birthday kisses. PLEASE tell me your kissing manuvers are all that slick, because you sound like a genius! Really, I would have swooned.

Brittany said...

YMA,
the comment thing is really tiny on my computer too!

Happy B-day Jake!

Brittany said...

YMA,
the comment thing is really tiny on my computer too!

Happy B-day Jake!

Ashley said...

Happy birthday Jake! Sanders sounds awesome. It seems like she might have a little bit of a wild side. Well as wild as RSM can get ;0)

"I'm nothing like your mother.." haha love it!

Mary said...

i really love that you related her eyes to the wrapping paper on bath tissue. bahaha.

oh and happy birthday!

That Chick said...

how touching that you compared this girl's eyes to the wrapping on costco toilet paper.:)

That Chick said...

And happy birthday!

Lauren said...

SHE WINS! She wins at best girl on MBP! Jake, I am so happy you had such an amazing bday.

Last night when you said Lisa was calling, I was confused and wondered if I was supposed to know who Lisa was. Haha, good times.

Happy Birthday!

Paula said...

Happy B-Day, Jake!

Very movie-ish what you thought when you woke up and the moment you entered the kichen and realised who was making breakfast. The cherry on top of the cake was Calvin remmembering you how you were dressed!

Good luck with your *coff*coff* buddy!

Autumn said...

Okay Jake. So after this post, I decided I will no longer try to go "Team Calvin" OR "Team Jake" This post was freaking amazing! You rock. I really like this girl. Not to "mormony" for me. And not weird like Tori either.. Well, kinda if she's 27 and not married. Us Mormon girls get married quick. but hey! That's okay! Because of that, you got a kick-A Birthday present! YOU BETTER GO CRAZY TONIGHT! If you don't take advantage of the fact that she's there, and its your birthday and she made the first move, I'm going to kick your butt!

Have a great rest of your birthday! And you FULLY, 100% redeemed yourself this time.

Kimkidoni said...

Bonne Anniversaire Jake!! That is a great story; it made me happy. I wish you the best of luck with her, as your birthday wish.

Amy said...

Whooohooo! She's cool. Hope you have fun! And Happy Happy birthday :)

Jody Lynn said...

Happy Birthday Jake!

The comment thingy is way tiny on my computer also and LOVE the new layout. :)

chao.

Kelly said...

Hey Jake! It's my birthday too! Happy Birthday and thanks for the birthday wishes on FB (if that was you). I just finished blogging about my birthday kiss. Only it's not so tantalizing since I have been married for almost 17 years. Still I think my evening may be 'luckier' than yours... TMI?

11-11 is such a great birthday btw!

Alexandra said...

You need to make the links at the end of each post bigger...I can't read them at all (like everyone else, I'm assuming), so I'm just clicking blindly and hoping it works.

Sanders sounds awesome. Kind of like my roommate, too...except my roommate was not in SLC recently.

TechieGirl said...

Sweet! Way to go man, and Happy Birthday!

KatOfDiamonds said...

Happy Bday Jake! =]

Bekah Buttons said...

love it. so fan ficy :)

which i hear you now know what that means..?

Jimmy Jones said...

Dude Jake, toilet paper? You have to be able to do better than that man! I will say this though...go for the older woman! Age means almost nothing! And trust me 4 hours is nothing! It only makes getting together that much more enjoyable after a long wait! You go man!

Angela said...

I don't think there's anything "weird" about a single 27 year old Mormon girl...as mentioned above.. to me she sounds great. Happy birthday, I'm glad so far you've had a great day.

Matt said...

The "comments" link on my browser is double the size of the text in the post.

Did you fix it? Or is my browser just diferent then everyone elses? I am using firefox FYI. Hope that helps.

Lisa sounds awesome.

Did you write this post while you were on the john? Just wondering because of the eye thing - guess I'm glad you didn't say "sky" like anyone else would have.

Megan said...

Nope it's not fixed matt.

I am using Internet explorer and the links are soooo tiny it's like a teeny unreadable line.

Change your layout on Internet Explorer if you havn't tried that already.

Loving Lisa BTW.

Happy Birthday.

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Sorry folks we're pretty dense.

Hopefully that's fixed. Thanks Megan - doing it in IE did the trick.

Zabes-Yap said...

I love your reaction to "I'm nothing like your mother."

Sheer brilliance on both of your parts.... *grin*

Sara said...

So I've decided that dating a 22 year old when I'm 27 is my dream... I'll have to work on that. Happy Birthday :)

Tara said...

Ugh. Jake, all the points you recently earned in my book {by watching Lost} have just been undone.

First of all it's sad that your first re-date with Sanders had to be to a Jazz game, and even worse than that- they were playing the Spurs. My two most hated teams in the NBA! I guess I won't hold it too much against you since you didn't buy the tickets, but I will have to hold it against Sanders.

Secondly, Why couldn't you just have said you got caught in your underwear? No, you had to throw out the G-word.

I think Sanders likes you a lot. {Even though I am sure you already assume that}. I am 27 and I still have a few single friends, and I don't know many of them who would go to those extremes for a guy they didn't like, much less a guy 5years younger...

Tara said...

Ugh. Jake, all the points you recently earned in my book {by watching Lost} have just been undone.

First of all it's sad that your first re-date with Sanders had to be to a Jazz game, and even worse than that- they were playing the Spurs. My two most hated teams in the NBA! I guess I won't hold it too much against you since you didn't buy the tickets, but I will have to hold it against Sanders.

Secondly, Why couldn't you just have said you got caught in your underwear? No, you had to throw out the G-word.

I think Sanders likes you a lot. {Even though I am sure you already assume that}. I am 27 and I still have a few single friends, and I don't know many of them who would go to those extremes for a guy they didn't like, much less a guy 5years younger...

Kristin Lee said...

I want a birthday like yours.

Sanders sounds awesome, except I keep thinking about Zacks oldest sister who dons that very last name now.

Happy birthday, you old man!

Ashley said...

4 hours to Cedar City? You drive like my grandma.

I do really like Sanders though!

Bethany said...

So Calvin told me happy birthday on my facebook and I was hoping you would post so I could tell you Happy Birthday!! That's right Jake we share a birthday!! haha I turned 23 today! Hope you are having an awesome party right now!

Julia said...

Sanders sounds like a Puma to me ;). She and I sound alike.

Brenn said...

"I'm nothing like your mother" Bahahaha -- that sounds like something I would say. I like her. Happy Birthday Jake!! Hope tonight is at least as good as this morning!

Mich n Dan said...

Happy Birthday Jake! The make-out session with Sanders sounded like it came right out of a movie!

Alexis! said...

Happy birthday Jake! Interesting situation you're in, hope the party was great :)

Nate said...

Nicely done! ;-)

I hate to say it, but I was always judgmental of couples that met on the mission - but only because of some missionaries in my mission that probably did go farther than they should have and it affected the work. I'll give you two the benefit of the doubt, for whatever it's worth.

Oh yeah, one more thing. I don't think I would compare her eyes to the toilet paper wrapper to her face. You may think it's a compliment, but I am not sure she would take it that way. ;-)

One last thing - I'm liking the new blog design (and that you guys finally figured out the mailto link)! ;-)

Nate said...

I'm a little confused though. How did you get an advance copy of UP? It was just released to video on Tuesday, so how could you have been watching it on Sunday? We watched it last night though - quite entertaining.

Anonymous said...

"her eyes are a real-light blue, like the wrapping paper on Kirkland bath tissue that you get at Costco."

Ha! Jake you are awesome!

Schneiderdoodle

Anonymous said...

Once a douche, always a douche!

Calvin is a fictional writer and you are a douche.

Happy birthday anyway, douchebag.

*E

Ryan Hadlock said...

Happy Birthday dude, November is a great month to be born in!

Anonymous 6:58, what was douchey about this post? I'm guessing jealousy that you can't get an attractive woman to throw you up against a fence and kiss you? (BTW Jake, how big is this girl that she can throw you around? Or are you just a little guy?) Don't be a hater cuz you can't get as much play as the MBP guys. Why don't you get some game of your own and make your own dating stories? Ohhh yeah, that would require putting down the xBox live headset and controller and leaving the house - aaaaahhhhhh the sun, it's blinding and it burns the pasty white skin!!!! Come on precious, straighten up and get a life.

Brit O'Connor said...

If she is 27...and you're 22...how were you on missions at the same time? Unless she went late...which I guess is possible...

Alice said...

Whoop whoop!! You go Jake! And Happy Birthday (day after) :)

Lula! said...

Please call her Sanders.
Even after y'all are married and her surname is no longer Sanders.

Especially call her Sanders while in the sack.
Yes, I said that.

'Cause it's HOT.
Happy birthday.
You youngster.

Amy said...

Yup, hot. Can't wait to hear how the birthday bash went! Happy belated!

kelzone said...

you guys should have made it to the library....
making out in the isles + trying to not get caught by the librarian=fun

Lauren said...

She is totally into you! And she sounds great. I hope you had a great birthday!

Megan said...

Careful Jake, If you watched "UP" on Sunday that means you downloaded it off the internet through BitTorrent or something... not exactly legal eh buddy?

Ha ha, I did it too, in fact I have had "UP" on my computer since August! If you want we could watch Zombieland, scored that one yesterday.

Just be careful posting that stuff on the internet... someone might catch you.

Anonymous said...

I think getting caught for downloading movies off the internet illegally is the least of their worries. Just saying.

samnhal said...

Happy late birthday! Haha, that is awesome that she saw you in your garments. If she let you kiss her, I guess that means she likes what she saw. Some girls think garments are attractive, I personally do...hopefully for you she does too.

Anonymous said...

You guys AND BBL bug. Get over yourselves.

Lauren said...

Anonymous @ 12:12 - I wish you weren't anonymous, so we could be friends.

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

I wish they weren't anonymous so I could duct tape their face to their hips.

-c

TechieGirl said...

Loved your comment Ryan!

Anonymous 12:12 - Seems kind of strange that you have to tell BBL and MBP to get over themselves. Leads me to believe that you can't get over yourself, seeing as you spend your time being mean to people you don't know and claiming you don't like their writing. Grow up and leave them alone. You aren't required to read their posts, and if you don't like them, then don't come back. Or if you do, be prepared to be berated. I've found most of the fans on here are pretty damn good at putting you in your place.

Fan said...

Nice work on the post mish make-out. By the way... your interview with BBL was hilarious. Your knowledge of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers just bumped you up to an 8.5 in my book. Well done :)

Your New Theme Song:
Goin' courtin'
Goin' courtin'
Doodin' up to go and see a girl
Oh it's fun to hunt and shoot a gun
Or to catch a rabbit on the run
But you'll find it twice as sportin'
Goin' courtin'

Nikki said...

I dated some of the Elders from my mission and on my mission. As a matter of fact I am not gonna lie, there were some PPI's that I was thinking "What Elder? Do I obey the mission rules? I mean, kind of...can we just lock the door and get after it?" This was of course before the raised the bar. Now most Elders are nerdy and fugly. I am visually assaulted regularly seeing them on their bikes riding around town. I refuse to have ugly Elders over for dinner, seriously lets lower the bar so we can get some candy in the ward and over to the house for some hoagies.
I am just glad that Sister Sanders really was attractive and it wasn't some horny mission goggle illusion. It happens folks. Being stranded on a desert island with no water makes you see things rather bass ackwards. Just sayin.

Saydee said...

You guys are most likely NOT great and you looking want a girl OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. Go figure. Oh and nice way of putting MORMON in your blog title, so that anytime someone wants to know information about the church, they can google Mormon and your blog shows up - and you are the representation. How tasteless. Maybe you should change your blog name.

Saydee said...

You guys are most likely NOT great looking and you want a girl OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. Go figure. Oh and nice way of putting MORMON in your blog title, so that anytime someone wants to know information about the church, they can google Mormon and your blog shows up - and you are the representation. How tasteless. Maybe you should change your blog name.

Fan said...

Saydee-

When I google "mormon" I get lots of sites on the first few pages... official lds site, solid doctrine sites, a bunch of hard core anti sites, but no MBP. I don't think MBP is many peoples source for religious information... so feel free to relax and un-bunch your panties.

Joelle said...

That is sad that someone felt like they had to tell on you and sis. Saunders even though nothing had happened, but at least the transfer kept you guys from ever getting to a point where it might get too comfortable.
She sounds like a sweet girl.

Melody said...

So first Calvin uses his PBlessing to pick up chicks and then Jake throws in that he "walked out" in his Gs. You guys have no reverence for sacred things do you?

You were right Jake. Andrea doesn't deserve you.

Kayla said...

bahaha. I love that people are either in love with you, are think you are "douches" haha..
Mostly I just think we'd be homies.
I love the chain link ..im not your mother..make out.
Bangin.

Anonymous said...

the phrase is actually 'bold face lie' not bald face lie. just so you know.

bd said...

Anonymous 7:17- I've heard the phrase 'bald faced liar' several times. My favorite is in the movie Fargo. Once again the anonymous bunch proves that they are not smart enough to keep their mouths shut.

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
-Proverbs 17:28

Dave Allbee said...

Just a word of hope... My sister was living in Cedar City (where I actually live now myself) and met a guy who live in Taylorsville. They eventually started dating and now they are married with two sons. So don't let the distance get to you. Oh, and congratulations.

Karina said...

OOOH :).Happy Birthday Jake!!

Sanders sounds amazinggg :)

Jacki said...

yeahhh happy birthday jake!
and also, when you described the color of her eyes, is it sad that i know which color nlur you are talking about? i must go to costco wayyyyy too much

Molly said...

Aaah. Garments. Exactly what you want a girl to see you in.

Loved your interveiw with Lauren! It was straight up legit!

Tara said...

Just read the interview. And I think I may have to stop reading this blog altogether. If guys don't see the absolute humor & talent of The Office...I just don't know what to do about this.

Jake, I'm not surprised. But Calvin, I'm really disappointed, too busy to watch it? Seriously?

Anonymous said...

Oh yes we used to call those double date districts... my favorite!

Alexandra said...

Nikki- I'm sorry the ugly Elders get sent to where you live...we must have taken more than our fair share where we live! ;)
(True story, one of the Elders who taught a friend of mine was distractingly handsome. Holy smokes.)

Julia said...

Joelle it's Sanders, not Saunders. I have to correct you for her. Not a big deal, but when people call me Saunders it makes me want to scream just a little bit.

Nate said...

Jake -

So is Lisa/Sister Sanders the same girl you mentioned and called Renee last month in Finding, Dating, and Marriage Pools (excerpt below)?

"Again, because of my pseudo commitment to Andrea, my dating pool is pretty bleak at the moment. I pretty much have Harper, who I've told you about. Holly, the girl in our ward who has shamelessly informed me that she has a giant crush on me. And, Renee, a sister from my mission that I have a little bit of history with.

However, Harper is a bit of a loon. Holly has braces and shorter hair than me, which by themselves aren't unattractive, but combined with her overall average looks makes her altogether unattractive. And, Renee, she lives in friggin Cedar City, that's a little far to go to see someone on a regular basis."

Yes, I have too much time on my hands and too good of a memory. As many girls as come in and out of these posts, I get confused... ;-)

seanm said...

Finally at the end of these comments! Sorry I'm so delayed, I've been in Brazil for two days. Got back today. -- that's why i don't have a social life, I'm going someplace every week.

So I agree with, I think it was, Nate - who is disturbed by the met on the mission thing. I always had that impression, too.
Also, 27 is weird, but I really think she's a good girl, not strange, nor a player, but watch out if she wears a tank top - you might just get her prego too soon, and you'll be stuck with her. ...just saying
ps- you might want to consider reimbursing her for her gas at somepoint
pps - how long has she been home from her mission? This is kind of a critical factor bc I'll explain after you answer.

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Good looking out Nate, actually Renee is a different Sister from my mission. Our history together has to do with us being in the same MTC district and going through the whole mission together.

Calvin and I have decided to make supplemental posts for all girls mentioned on our blog. However the post you referenced was before that decision. I'm sure I'll get to her but not much but texting each other has gone on since I posted that.

-j

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Seanm- Sanders got back from her mission 5 months before I did. SO just under a year.

-j

Nate said...

hmm...what is it about Cedar City? ;-)

Heather said...

That's hot. Seriously. Sucks though, the mission politics and crap. My hubby dealt with the same BS in Brazil. Glad you had such a great birthday though.

And I LOVE Busy Bee Lauren.