Thursday, February 4, 2010

Valentine's and Pillow Fights

I'm thinking I may have stopped calling Marie a little too close to Valentine's Day. I thought the timing was perfect since it was a full three weeks before Valentine's. But she keeps on calling and texting me. I know it's bad of me to ignore her, but I honestly don't think we were dating long enough for me to be obligated to do anything more.

Sure it would be polite for me to tell her "I'm no longer interested", but that wouldn't do any good. I'd still be jerk. So, I do what I always do and ignore her phone calls and texts. (Calvin, you're such a d-bag.)

Luckily, I got an iPhone for my birthday. I briefly thought about transferring my old phone number over to AT&T, but then at the last second, I decided to just get a new phone number. I don't care enough about most of the people in my circle of friends and it also would solve the "Marie" problem.

Except on Sunday I found out that Marie had actually come over to my house looking for me. I guess three days without hearing my voicemail was just too much for her. Luckily I wasn't there. Lance was there (of course... since it was during church) and he told her that I was at church. Marie actually asked where our church was. Lance was quick enough on his feet to give her directions to a different church. Actually, with how seldom Lance goes to church he may have given her directions to Maverick.

So now I'm trying to figure out what to do. Valentine's Day is a mere 10 days away. Marie has to have gotten the hint by now, right? So what is she doing? It seems like she may be trying to force an uncomfortable confrontation. What's the purpose of that? Just to watch me stutter through a breakup conversation? That's just mean. I knew there was something wrong with her.

My birthday was lame. No smooches for me. Probably because I didn't have one of those sweet "Kiss me, it's my birthday" t-shirts. Lance tried to throw me a party, but it turned into a "Lance is awesome and knows a lot of hot girls" party. Most of them didn't even know that they were there for my birthday. So I was pleasantly surprised when Jake sent me a text saying his concert was over and asked if I wanted to "crash" the MG's (Missionary Girls) sleepover party.

We went to the store and bought a bunch of stuff and then drove over to the address where this sleepover bash was taking place. It was pretty freaky cause we wanted to drop off the package without being seen. We thought 1:30 am was late enough that it would be a breeze. But while we were sitting in the parking lot... staking the place out... we saw two different cars pull up and watched the female occupants exit their vehicles and walk straight up the stairs to the MG sleepover. We realized that if we had tried to drop off the package 60 seconds earlier, we'd have passed the girls on the stairs and our cover would have been blown.

Plus, the blinds were open and the window was cracked. So as we crept up to the door, we could hear them all laughing and giggling. None of them were talking about us, though... so that was kind of disappointing. Plus, they were all fully clothed and not having a pillow fight. It totally destroyed my illusion of what I thought happened at every single pajama party/sleepover.

But we successfully dropped off the package and high-tailed (thanks Dad, for the lingo) it out of there. Then we were worried that someone else might find the package and steal it, so we had to scrounge up a few phone numbers from Facebook and call them. It was one of the first times Jake and I actually felt popular. We tried to talk, but we couldn't cause all of the MG's wouldn't shut up. There was talking and screaming and laughing. I'm pretty sure they at least heard our voices, though, and can vouch for the fact that we're actually two guys (as if anyone thought otherwise).

If you want my new phone number so you can text me, let me know. Unless your name is Marie.

Calvin

68 comments:

Elysie Piecie said...

Marie sounds like a Creeper McCreepster. Just thought I would share. I think she should have taken a hint...although a little "I'm not interested anymore" would probably have helped.

Crystal said...

*raises hand* I want the new number. I didn't have the old number though so I don't know if I'm in the running.

I'm sure Marie has gotten the hint by now...at least I hope so. Because is she hasn't....good grief, what an idiot.

If you had gotten caught it would have been hilarious but kind of sad too. So I'm glad you didn't.

Shelby Lou said...

Marie sounds like a mad stalker.

Alexandria said...

First Tori and now Marie...Calvin, I think you have a thing for the crazies!

just sayin' said...

either that or you are 2 girls with really low voices and whiskers.

Katie said...

Poor Marie...actually not really, I didn't like her anyways. That's too bad your birthday party didn't turn out to be super awesome. But I'm glad that MG can confirm you two are indeed boys...that whole "awesomespice/lamespice, I watch the bachelor thing" was kind of making me wonder.

And ummm, I want your new number Calvin, text me! My number's on my facebook page ;-)

Kate Weber said...

Yeah, Marie is insane. Girls like her bother me.

I'm slightly jealous that I wasn't in the area for the MG sleepover...but I suppose I'd need to be waiting for a missionary in order to go...and thank goodness I'm not waiting. Been there, done that.

I would ask for your number, but I don't need another way to flirt with you. I think twitter, facebook and gchat are enough. (BTW, hope to see you on gchat soon.)

Christin said...

I know that the awkward break up conversation is something to be avoided, but it sounds like little Marie needs some closure. Girls just like that and it is actually a really KIND thing for you to provide them with. I would reconsider the dodging routine and just tell her what's up. Even though you may seem like a jerk for saying what you do, in the long run it's nicer.

And I about died when I realized there was an MG group. I personally don't think that "waiting" for missionaries is EVER a good idea. EVER!

Anonymous said...

Marie is a pyscho. How old is she? Dude, if you want to be able to have ncmo's, or whatever they're called, I suggest dating women how are mature and not in the "boy crazy" stage. Just sayin'. She was probably writing Marie "whatever you're last name is" all over her journal. Girls are dumb

Lachele said...

hahaha you're going to put up your number for ANY random mbp fan to text you? Wow.. Well Cal, sign me up! haha That sucks that your birthday was lame-o cause mine ROCKED! Sooo much fun! We'll have a belated birthday party in April when I come mmmk :)

P.S smooth move on changing your number, just wait until the next time she AMBUSHES your house when you're there...potentially with another girl. HA!

Ha, waiting for missionaries... girls don't do it. It's a waste of two years. Been there done that! Ugh.

megan said...

I hate girls like Marie. Good work getting out of the situation. You deserve better, I'm sure.

As for the number thing, I'd say we're all interested in having it, but Crystal had a good point, where we didn't have the old one, maybe we're not on the level of getting the new one...

And sorry to disappoint you boys (and boys in general,) but that's how sleepovers are... None of this pillow fights in our underwear business. haha

Elizabeth Downie said...

Wow, twisting it so it looks like she's the jerk? If I doubted you were real guys before, I don't anymore. ;)

B R I T N E Y said...

She's probably not as crazy as you think... She might just need closure more than anything. She should have gotten the hint by now - ESPECIALLY if you changed your number and didn't make sure to give it to her... haha. Oh well, Valentine's day isn't that big of a deal, she'll be just fine.

Rissy said...

Changing your number and not giving it to Marie is a very clear sign of two things.. 1) you are actually an a** (sorry I swore Id never say it) and 2) she has obviously not seen "He's Just Not That Into You."

There is no reason for you to be so immature about the break up BUT she's adding a flame to the "all girls are crazy" fire by stalking you out. MARIE! You are better than this! He obviously isn't the guy you want to be with if he's treating you this way. Ladies, don't we all just want to shake each other sometimes?!
I'm guilty of needing a little shake. I admit it

Now that Ive admited I am crazy, Calvin I want your number!

brie said...

dude, what's up with the lame MG slumber party? when i have slumber parties, we totally braid each other's hair and paint each other's toe nails and have very scintillating pillow fights wearing only boxers and tanks. maybe you should crash one of mine. ;)

Abi said...

Whether this Marie needs closure or not, she sounds stalker-ish to me.
And I would have died from laughter if you had been caught at the sleep over...nice timing! I can just picture 2 boys lurking in a dark corner of the parking lot in their car...except THAT sounds stalker-ish.

Grand Pooba said...

Does middle name of Marie count?

Anonymous said...

I dunno, I was kind of in Marie's situation, though I didn't go to the extreme of figuring out where my boy was at the time. I can tell you how much it really really sucks to be ignored. All she wants is confirmation. Just give it to her, and you can both be at peace... after she's cried for probably a while. I don't really think she's in the wrong, but I do think she should have been more chill about it... same with you.

Ashley Eliza said...

Calvin just need to be straight up with Marie. She is a big girl and can handle it..

ps. i am proud of you for buying tampons and midol. Shows your TRUE manhood.

Anonymous said...

seriously.. i was at the sleepover. and in the pictures, i'm holding the midol and tampons. just so you know we were very impressed that you would be brave enough to man up and actually buy those! haha funniest day of my life. i love how you give your number to random people. thats hilarious. well..i'm guilty i want it too ;) we're having another sleepover in a month. be ready.

Autumn said...

I was pretty sad that I wasn't it Utah for that thing. I'm one of those "waited-for-a-missionary-but-it-didn't-work-out-so-now-Im-single-but-still-welcomed-in-the-group girls" Oh well. I'll get over it. I'm beginning to wonder if you've blocked me on gchat. Depressing if you did. I'll get over that too I guess.

If you wanna give me your number, I'll text you. email it to me if you feel so inclined. autumn.potts@yahoo.com

As for Marie, I think she's a tad bit crazy, but I think you need to tell her what's up. Girls don't like to be left high and dry. :] Go calvin Go.

Jocelyn said...

Sounds like a lame sleepover, but everyone knows that it's not til the wee hours of the morning, that the clothes start coming off. haha Every sleepover I've been to is full of streaking.

Maybe you picked the wrong sleepover to ambush?

ps. I can't beleive that Marie was willing to find you at church... that's a little obsessive. But maybe you should just shoot her a text saying, (perhaps not in lamans terms)"babe, game over. you loose."

Lisa Ann said...

We MG's will most definitely try to live up your expectations of semi-clothed pillow fights at our next sleepover.

BTW, I can testify that not only are the men, but their voices are delish. They must be hot.

Anonymous said...

Trust me, it hurts more for a guy to ignore you than to just come out and say "yo, i don't like you". If she comes over again and you're not there please just call her and tell her you don't like her.

Anonymous said...

Dude, just call Marie and let her know what's up.

Be a man.

Karma my friend, if you keep treating girls like this is definitely going to come back and bite you in the butt.

Marie might be a little crazy but she just wants to know what's up.

Lindsay Anne said...

Oh man. I'm married to the boy that I waited for when he was a missionary. Used to be an MG. Used to go to those sleepovers. And I can promise you that you wouldn't have found our sleepovers boring. :)

and for the record to other commenters....waiting is not a waste of time for everyone.

and marie sounds nuts.

Stephanie said...

If you make out with a girl...regardless of the length of dating time, you owe her an explanation. End of story. Man up, one conversation and it'll all be over. Then if she continues pursuing you can start blaming it on the crazy.

Single Ladies said...

Did she HONESTLY come looking for you?..Sorry about that Cal. Oh the joys of dating!

When WAS the last time you talked/texted her?

Let me know what happens.

hugs and kisses
-Lauren

Bailey said...

I am new to reading this blog and was wondering...
Do you seriously give out your phone number to possibly creepy and desperate girls that happen to read your blog?

Another reason why this blog is so true to Mormon culture in Utah. Love it. Keep up the good work, fellahs.

Bonnie said...

YEAH! MG! I was one of those, One of the ORIGINALS in fact! it didn't work out, because I met my husband, but waiting wasn't a waste of my time, Meeting the MGs was the biggest reason I think I even met my missionary!


It's funny, that little group became something so big, and now it's on MPB... crazy

Bonnie said...

I'm secretly jealous I wasn't at that sleepover, curse you, married life.

manda said...

haha sorry about the telephone call. I was the one you called and I was half-tempted to just go to the other room and talk to you guys by myself, (at least it would've been quiet then) but I knew the other girls would kill me. We did get a catch of your voices though....and they did sound pretty nice. ;)

ps, lookin forward to the next one!

Cassie Lynne said...

Lindsay.. o man, Our sleepovers were anything BUT boring.. waxing, 'special' talks.. haha o man.
Too bad you didn't crash one of ours.. your poor little ears might have been hurt though..

Rissy said...

I wish all the ladies would quit calling Marie nuts. Who's team are you on girls??? We need to stick together and be honest with Calvin. Tell him he's being immature and kind of mean. All the girls' girls, where you at?!

Nichoolar said...

I wish I could go the MG sleepovers! --
Still think it was pretty Awesome that Calvin and Jake crashed! haha.

& just for the record... those who think "waiting" for a missionary is a waste of time... I dont care what you think... and Im pretty sure the other MGs dont either =)

Crystal said...

Rissy has a point, and some of you have said that most likely Marie just wants closure.

So I take my first statement back. Give her some closure. But I still think the trying to find you at church is a tad much.

Drake said...

"Oh this really cute girl wants to know why I am suddenly ignoring her with no explanation." Sounds like a pretty rough life...

marthamaeloves said...

Um what the f is Missionary Girls?

annettechapman said...

Calvin, Marie might still be a little inexperienced...and may have foolishly assumed that you making out with her meant you actually like her. You need to squash that innocence quick so that she can learn to make it in the utah dating scene.

And...

Two of you girls say "Been there, done that" which means you obviously failed at waiting.

Fickle little girls like yourselves are the ones that give waiting a bad name. You know so little about yourself. Every girl in Utah seems to have TRIED waiting, but most are just too faithless to actually succeed.

So much for being a Utah cliche. I'm glad I live in CA.

LittleMissBritt said...

Marie sounds like a bit of a psycho. Hopefully she fully catches on soon...I would think the desperate, pathetic act would get old after awhile ;].

Anyways, since my name's Brittany and not Marie....you could always text this sane girl. :] Just sayin'.

Jade said...

Nice post Calvin, makes me wish I could have been down in Utah with the MG's though, that would have been pretty awesome. Nice job on not getting caught though when you dropped off the package, hope your that lucky again if you and Jake "crash" the next one.

Angel said...

missionary girls are girls waiting for their boyfriends who are serving lds missions around the world for 2 years.

Erin said...

Dude, you just need to have the unpleasant conversation with her. If she thinks you're a jerk for it, so what? Does it really matter, since you don't want to see her anymore? I think not. Just sayin.

oh... and i find it a little hilarious that you crashed the MG sleepover. as little as I like you a lot of the time, I still appreciate little touches like that.

Heather Guymon said...

Must be a Utard thing...MG's? Seriously? You all have parties to what, sit and talk about "your" missionary?

That's hilarious. I sent a guy off on his mission and decided waiting was over rated. I met my hubby and we got hitched and were doing the dirty LONG before the first guy got home...I made the right choice, because, well, you figure it out.

Anywho sorry you didn't get any smooches on your birthday. I get lots of smooches from little mouths, one of which drools constantly right now, and it's pretty much awesome.

Oh and Marie is nutso.

Autumn said...

To Jocelyn:
It's spelled "lose." L-O-S-E. If they said "You loose" to Marie, they could be charged for sexual harassment. Sounds like they'd be telling her she slept with one too many guys. Boys, make sure you spell correctly. It could make a huge difference. :]

Anonymous said...

Oh please, please, please, PULEASE can I have your number. Not interested Douche Lick.

Kristin Lee said...

My name is not Marie, nor has it ever been Marie. But I already have your number.














Are you now wondering if that is a joke or not? :)

Anonymous said...

After three unanswered phone calls/ texts I give up...if someone wants to talk to you they'll make an effort.

Marie sounds crazy. Being completely ignored (let's not forget the wild goose chase Lance set her on) should be closure enough...what other confirmation could she possibly need?

Beth said...

clavin seriously.you might think she may get the hint but you should tell her.even if its just a quick hey i dont really think we should see eachother or you could use the im just not looking for a relationship(that one always works) or you could just lie and say your seeing someone else. personally i would go with the relationship one lol

Ryan Holdaway said...

Calvin man,
You've got some kind of crazy magic voo-doo thing going on. I cannot believe the girls that read this blog actually want you to call/text them. I mean. You guys are funny and all, but you do come across pretty douchey a lot of the time. Unreal.
Keep it up man.

Anonymous said...

Ha! I love it when guys think you're a douche. I guess you guys aren't as "normal" as you think you are. Thank God there are some decent guys out there.

Drake said...

Yeah...I'm with Ryan there. The number of fangirls from this site amazes me considering how big of douchebags they seem to be. Not sure if I'm disgusted or just jealous?

That being said, I can't stop reading either, so they must be doing something right.

PS: To quote a great action hero, its time to nut up or shut up. Either man up and tell Marie you're just not feeling it or stop complaining when she doesn't get the picture and tries to get some closure.

Blazzer said...

It is hilarious how many people have requested your number who aren't sarcastically playing along. Or am I the one who's missing something? Is you're anonymity no longer the most important part of your blogs succes?

Don't tell Marie anything. She doesn't need "closure". If the Chippy down at shop ignores me three times I know we're done. Cowardly or not, she should have the presence of mind to know the end has come and gone.

-Blazzer

Anonymous said...

Shame on all of you! You are supposed to be RMs. YOU are the ones that make that title seem less important. How dare you write this kind of degrading crap towards women. In Jacob 2 we learn that God counts the tears of women and that those that caused those tears will be held accountable. I hope you are prepared for that. THIS website is a perfect example of why you are single. You will stay freaking single while writing this crap. I am so disgusted. And waiting for a missionary is NOT waste of time. You're just pissed you got Dear Johned because you are a huge douce bag. I'll pray for your soul.

Bonnie said...

I became an MG when I was living in VA and I don't think any us originals were from UT. It's not like we just hang out because of our missionaries, these guys are my best friends, I didn't even marry my mish! I just love my MGs.

madison said...

text me! I would lovee your phone number :) p.s. the whole thing on marie, aren't you glad she's gone? Seriously-someone that clingy would SUCK in a relationship.

Emily Sue said...

i secretly think the love between mgs and mbp is kinda funny. i mean you guys can't really get any of them considering they have boyfriends. but, i think it's funny how you guys are good friends. marie is a tad crazy but, it sounds like she just wants you to be honest with her. that's all i think.

B said...

Annonymous @9:23pm: you made me laugh, thanks for your comment.

And, I'm the same as Bonnie, I didn't end up marrying my missionary either, but the friends I made (aka MG's) are still some of my best friends.

And Calvin, although Marie does sound pretty crazy (although I wouldn't doubt that you are overdramatizing some things) you do need to at least have a conversation with her. Suck it up.

Anon 12:59 said...

I agree with Blazzer, screw Marie. It's not your fault she can't take a hint. Hinting is a perfectly acceptable form of ending a relationship.

Hypocrytical bad speller guy said...

I don't know if you noticed Anon 9:23, but they don't put anon comments in the side section anymore.

Get a name and then rip on them so that your hate can be fully glorified.

Anonymous said...

Finally Some girls that sound like they have brains up in here! I totally agree with both anon 9:23 and B. We are all used to reading the usual comments from the dumb girls who throw themselves at these tool bags through their stupid ass comments. You know the ones like "call me Calvin" or "Screw you anonymous, you're just jealous of Cal and Jake" or my personal favorite "Calvin, if you reveal your identity, I will give you a happy birthday...Marilyn Monroe Style" Bahahahahaha, freaking sad. Calvin and Jake are probably not the best people to take dating advice from. I mean, really...how do we know that the two of them aren't shacking up together? All this snogging talk about Marie and the other various "women" could really be Jake and Calvin snogging together. Bless their hearts! Two years is a long time to be lonely in Ireland and I am sure their canteens ran dry very quick hence the homosexual adventure. Sketchy. Hahahaha, Marie is Jake's code name.

Cassee said...

I hope you guys are ugly. It would just be the icing on the cake with all of these groupies of yours, you rock star gods you.

Rock stars who don't do drugs, drink, or have sex.

Oh, but there's plenty of Momo jello for everyone.

Awesome.

Paige said...

Question. Would you honestly give your number out to random girls? Ha.. I am not sure I believe you would do that. Seriously. What if the girl was a freaking man? Although... That would be incredibly funny and I would get to say I told you so. So on second thought... Go for it.

Nalvy07 said...

Okay I am jealous that I was not at that MG party...although I do have to say that thinking they would be asleep at 1 or even 2 is kinda ridiculous...yeah that is the peak hour for craziness usually.

MG's girls no pillow fights or juicy conversations? *sigh* I am definitely making it to the next one haha y'all need to know how to do a slumber party right! XD

Pretty sure I would text or call or whatever but mainly because I think you two are interesting haha.

Anonymous said...

why do you people read this stuff if it bothers you so much?

Lesha said...

UGH.... I left to early! dang it! but I did come back to hear of the imfamous MBPs and see the lovely package you sent us!!!

Hope to hear from you guys at the next one, and I know we will be talking about you guys then!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

hmmm, first... I'm jealous of the MG's secondly, cute...and i know you manly men hate the word "cute": but to go make a package and give it to a bunch of girls pixie style... yes very very cute thing, but of course I do mean cute in the manliest way ever ... and third...if only you were slightly serious about handing out your new number...*sigh* ... but if you areeeeeeeeee.... you know where to find me haha