Monday, February 15, 2010

2 out of 5

Valentines Day came and went. Just like the last two Valentines I celebrated while on my mission, I enjoyed them chiefly amidst the male warmth I have become all too familiar with.

It's my own fault and I know it. I killed a good thing with Andrea. I faded a great thing with Sanders. I cowardly, but probably smartly, chose not to purse the Go-Go dancer. (as though I even have a chance) I have ignored the 3 or so not attractive girls that I know have big huge crushes on me. Yes, poor poor Jake.

Lance, has been seeing a girl for about two weeks. He met her online. I, we, still make fun of him for doing the whole online thing... but it brings home the betty's. This girl, April, is pretty. I'd say about a 7, but she is soooo dumb. She is so incredibly dumb that I avoid even having conversations with her. Last night Lance asked if he could use the downstairs for Valentines. He set candles up, had Robin Thicke playing on his iPod, and had set up a dimly lit picnic on the downstairs living room floor. I walked past after loading some laundry, and heard her saying to him, "...then he asked me what mountain range we were in and I said, 'the Alps' and he just started laughing. How was I supposed to know? There's like twenty mountain ranges." Alas, Lance was not seen from again last night so I think it's safe to say he got a Valentine roll around this year.

Aaron took a girl out Wednesday for the first time. She is pretty cute. Probably more like an 8. They made out on the first date, and apparently, (this is according to him) she has the longest tongue on the planet. They were in the kitchen yesterday, before going back to her apartment for some Valentine's dinner she had prepared (for their second date) and I asked her, "Mary, can I see your tongue?" She looked at me, looked at him, looked at me again and said, "Don't be a pervert." She then walked into the front room. Aaron laughed, patted me on the back and said, "Thanks for warming her up for me." Then headed after her. Aaron got home at 4am. I know because he left his keys here and I was the one he called to get in. When I let him in, he said, 'Dude, she is the best kisser!" I said, "I'm asleep. Tell me tomorrow."

Nick hasn't been on a date for a while. I think he spent Valentine's with his parents. He didn't come home at all last night because his parents leave a room for him at their place. I asked him if he had any Valentine's prospects. He said "Lethal Weapon". I said "huh?" He said, "We're watching Lethal Weapon tonight. It's Valentine's after all." I agreed that it was indeed Valentine's, Lethal Weapon made perfect sense... riiiggght.

Calvin, like me, didn't have any plans either. Yesterday the fruit cake he's snogging known as Marie calls my phone because Calvin hasn't been answering her calls. It was funny, but I'll let him tell that story. He and I were going to write a big post dedicated to Valentines Day, and even rate all the girls who have requested we do so privately... but we got lazy and ended up watching movies and eating carrots.

I had a 5 lb bag of peeled carrots, and since we didn't really have anything else in the house, and it was the sabbath, we just ate the carrots. Carrots are pretty good when there's no Doritos or raisins around.

So, no snog on Valentine's Day for me or Calvin. I don't know about Nick, as I'm not sure what type of kissing is acceptable in his family, but it would appear that Aaron and Lance were the best Valentiners this year.

Jake

33 comments:

Kellie said...

Hey! Don't knock the meeting online thing. Sheesh.

At least you spent your V-day with your hetero life mate. I guess that's cool.

Allison said...

Oh my, New Year's came with a BLAST, yet no smooches on Valentine's Day? Bummer... me too. :D

Kate Weber said...

Wow. Your Valentines Day sounds an awful lot like mine. I spent the night watching movies and drinking copious amounts of fluids. (I was sick.)

Even though you didn't get snogged, guaranteed you were wished a Happy Valentines Day by loads of attractive readers of this blog.

Little Lovables said...

crazy, what lucky girls... at least carrots are good b/c you don't get orange dusted like doritos

The Lady Girl said...

I say you should heavily flirt with the go-go! She seems willing enough to go on a date...I don't think she's a jerk. I mean, why couldn't you have a chance with her? Because she isn't mo mo and she wouldn't go for that? I'm just interested to see what could happen if you tried.

Anonymous said...

Hey Jake what position do you play for soccer??

c a n d a c e said...

Robin Thicke? Man, that Lance is a smoothey... but that April chick sounds ridiculous.
Mostly - I'm happy that you both will have amazing eyesight from the heinous amounts of carrots you consumed.

c a n d a c e said...

p.s. I cannot wait to hear the Marie story. I can't believe she's calling Jake!! aaack. She needs to get a clue.

Erika said...

I hate a steak dinner....

... With my sister and her husband... yeah...

megan said...

eh, Valentine's Day is overrated anyway. Wouldn't you rather have a spontaneous snogging mate some other day? I feel like it's all forced on Feb. 14th... haha

Mary said...

a 5 lb bag of carrots? hahaha. well i hope you and calvin had an enjoyable time watching movies (and eating carrots) together on valentines day.

Anonymous said...

mormonbachelorpad.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.

Crystal said...

I don't remember what I did on Valentine's Day because it was a day like any other. Oh yeah, I played the Food Network Cook or Be Cooked game on the Wii. It was fun. I've never been much into Valentine's Day, even when I was engaged. Just not really my thing. Sounds like y'all had fun though. :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe you aren't a douche lord! If you were you could have filled you empty Valentine void by calling one of these awesome groupies that comment about how amazing you are!

singlemormonchick said...

this year was weird. doesnt seem like anyone really had a remarkable valentines day and no one seemed to care all that much. for about 2 seconds i thought about calling mr jack mormon to be my nicmo valentine, but thought better of it when i remembered your previous chastisement. ;)

Anonymous said...

At least you'll have good eyesight, right?

Shelby Lou said...

is it bad to say i'm glad you guys went dateless on Valentines?

in church on sunday my bishop got up right before the end of sacrament and said.

"Happy Single Awareness Day!....(as he looked around with a huge frown.. then he goes..) SAD!"(and sits down and smiles to himself.) baha

Shelby Lou said...

is it bad to say i'm glad you guys went dateless on Valentines?

in church on sunday my bishop got up right before the end of sacrament and said.

"Happy Single Awareness Day!....(as he looked around with a huge frown.. then he goes..) SAD!"(and sits down and smiles to himself.) baha

Shelby Lou said...

is it bad to say i'm glad you guys went dateless on Valentines?

in church on sunday my bishop got up right before the end of sacrament and said.

"Happy Single Awareness Day!....(as he looked around with a huge frown.. then he goes..) SAD!"(and sits down and smiles to himself.) baha

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Hey, I must confess, meeting girls online is the best. ;-)

Dara said...

holy crap. did you turn orange from eating all those carrots?!

Elizabeth Downie said...

I have to say, I am honored to be on your wall of mean comments. It was almost too easy! ;)

Erin said...

You guys are sooo adorable!! You can rate me anytime.... wait, that came out wrong! ;-)

Rissy said...

I think you should have included the Marie story.. spice the post up...
I mean I like carrots as much as the next girl, but I was bored. You've created high expectations so live up to them, please.

Anonymous said...

Sorry you V-Day sucked so bad.

hater said...

it is your own fault. quit trying to anticipate what all of us haters are going to say!

bd said...

Nikki!!! Where is your comment? I look forward to reading them more than the posts from our favorite double dudes that write this blog. FYI- double dude is not a compliment.

Autumn said...

Sounds like my Valentine's day!

Anonymous said...

April sounds like one of those girls who went the college just to get a husband.

Sad.

Amy said...

snore... But Hey! I met my husband online, and we all know how awesome I am. :)


Oh, and he's pretty cool too.
and yea, I totally get the carrot thing. Last resort yumminess.

Amy said...

Snore.... :) Oh Hey! I met my husband online and we all know how awesome I am.

Oh, and he's pretty cool too.
I totally get the whole carrot thing. Last resort yumminess.

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Heather Guymon said...

I didn't get any on Valentine's Day either...it's the pitfall of being married for 7+ years and having 2 kids.

I met my hubby online =)