Born Gaye

Gaye came over again last night. We weren't hosting FHE or anything so it was more of a pop-in. It's gotten to point at our house, that the regulars don't even knock. They just walk in. We don't mind at all. In fact, there's something about the uncertainty of who is comfortable enough walking into our house that I find very intriguing. What does it say about a girl who just walks into our house? I've thought about this quite a bit lately and I've discovered that four types of girls feel secure enough in their relationship standing in our house to walk-in. The first type are the regulars. Usually those are the girls who have been in our house at least three times a week for over three months. There are quite a few of those. The second type are current love interests and/or girlfriends. Pretty much any girl who is dating a roommate or who has been horizontal with one or more of the roommates. They walk-in. The third type are the groups of girls. It seems like a group of three or more girls are more likely to walk-in than an individual. The fourth type are the social retards. The girls who are clueless when it comes to social etiquette. Most of the time they're the uglies who are under the impression that if they appear confident enough to walk into our house without knocking, that maybe one of us will swallow our pride and snog them for a few hours. Or maybe they think that if they "accidentally" catch one of us partially clothed, it might essentially be a foot-in-the-door type of thing for a future roll-around.

Wow... how did I get off on that tangent? Criminy. Anyway, Gaye came over with one of her friends from BYU or maybe some other community college in Utah County. I dunno. There were a few other girls over already and a couple of Jake's high school friends. We were all downstairs watching DVR'd Academy Awards. One of Jake's friends was getting a shoulder massage from some chick. He looked like he was really enjoying it. Gaye and her friend settled down on the couch and did a pretty good job of participating in conversations during commercials or the less than interesting Oscar presentations. Then, out of nowhere, Gaye's friend says, "Did you know that 50% of co-ed massages lead to heavy petting?" Nick says, "I believe that." I was like, "What? No way." This girl starts talking about one of her classes or something and some off the wall statistics. Then I said, "Well, I've given and received dozens of co-ed massages and it hardly ever leads to heavy petting? In fact, if it's really 50% then I'm jealous of all the dudes who get massages before me and after me cause they're the ones getting all the action." I was surprised with how many people had actually heard that statistic and believed it. BYU. They're a different breed.

A few hours later, people started trickling out. As expected, Gaye and her friend didn't appear to be all that willing to leave. At one point, the two girls went upstairs for a little while to powder their noses or something. Gaye came downstairs by herself a little while later and said her friend had hitched a ride home with someone else. Nobody was really listening cause we were watching Hot Rod. However, when Gaye came back downstairs, she snuggled up pretty close to Aaron on the opposite couch. Nick, Jake and I continued watching the movie. Lance was upstairs with a few other people and they were playing UNO or something. At about 2am, Aaron stands up and says, "Night guys. I gotta get up pretty early." He moseys upstairs and leaves Gaye on the couch by herself.

About 20 minutes later, I glance over to see if Gaye had fallen asleep on the couch, but she wasn't there. I said, "Where did Gaye go?" Jake said, "She went upstairs about 15 minutes ago." I honestly didn't think anything of it. I thought maybe she was hanging out with Lance and his friends or something.

Hot Rod ended and Nick was flipping through the channels when Gaye came back downstairs. She sneaked up behind me and whispered in my ear, "Can I talk to you for a second?" I said, "Sure" and she pulled me into Lance's room. I kind of knew what was going on, but I wasn't accustomed to a girl being quite so forward so I doubted my own assumption. Until she started making out with me. I had no idea what was going on or what had happened or what day it was or whether I was sitting or standing or what country I was living in. It happened so fast. Then it happened slower. And it happened for about three hours. It was pretty awesome.

I think something might be wrong with Gaye, though. She was saying some pretty weird stuff. Most of it I didn't really understand. But at one point, about an hour into our horizontalness, she said, "You make me feel so beautiful." I didn't know if I should say 'thank you' or 'you're welcome', so I didn't say anything.

So a few hours ago, when we saw light coming through the small bedroom window (which totally does not meet fire safety standards for a single family residence), Gaye said, "I should leave before everyone wakes up. I'll feel stupid if anyone sees me." I told her that I'd go upstairs and make sure she had a clear path to the back door. I crept upstairs and didn't see anyone. I waved her up and watched her slip out the back door. Then I wandered into the front room and saw Aaron and Jake sitting on the couch. Aaron was awake and ready for work and Jake hadn't been to sleep yet. They both looked at me. I couldn't help it. I smiled and motioned at the window. They both looked over and we all watched Gaye walking as quickly as possible down the driveway and get in her car. It was obvious she was trying as hard as she could to not let anyone see her.

In between bouts of laughter, Aaron said, "Did you guys make out all night?" I nodded my head cause I couldn't stop laughing. Then Aaron said, "You know I made out with her last night, too, don't you?" My laughing started to fade out. Jake's laughing started to get a little more intense. I said, "What?" Aaron then proceeded to explain how Gaye had followed him to bed and insisted on "tucking him in". Aaron had made out with her for about an hour. When he was done, Gaye had said to him, "Thank you for making me feel beautiful." It kind of creeped him out so he told her he needed to wake up early and essentially kicked her out of his bed.

So apparently, I got Aaron's sloppy seconds. But I'm not sure if it really counts as sloppy seconds if I didn't realize that Aaron made out with her first. That doesn't really seem very fair. But that won't stop Aaron from rubbing it in every chance he gets, no doubt.

Calvin