The Shell of a Woman

It seems like every guy I know wants Daisy. Remember the super hottie from The Heights? Daisy doesn't fit in because it just hurts to look at her sometimes - she's so sexy. So why don't I want Daisy? Well, the simple answer is because I want Claire. Claire is beautiful too, but if I am being 100% honest...

Well if Claire and Daisy were empty shells that didn't talk, think, or have a personality of any kind. If their only purpose was to cook, clean, massage my feet after a hard days work, massage my feet after sleeping in on a day that I didn't have to work, change dirty diapers, pick up dog doo, massage my shoulders after my soccer games, accompany me to social functions at which people would judge me based off of the shell that rested on my arm, oh, and to procreate. If all that were true I would pick Daisy, she is a better "shell" than Claire. Clearly Daisy ranks higher on the LOS than Claire does, because the LOS measures only the "shell" I described above.

Standing Claire next to Daisy is like standing Kristen Bell (now) next to Angelina Jolie (5 years ago). They are both beautiful women, but I guarantee that if you were to survey 10000 men, half of them wouldn't know who Bell was while all of them would know who Jolie was. If those surveyed were then given a choice, and I had to venture a guess, probably somewhere in the 80% range of them would pick Jolie. And why not? I don't think anyone could offer reasons that are not part of the OS.

When I add to Claire's "shell" all of the things that make her her, and I add all of the things that make Daisy Daisy. Claire comes out way, way, way ahead.

Claire is strong, sassy*, and sexy. She has the uncanny ability to make everyone around her feel like they are the most important person on Earth at any given moment. She's smart, and she has this laugh that gives me the warm fuzzies. I am familiar with this feeling. It's the same feeling I had with Andrea and the same feeling I had with Lisa Sanders. The "shell" is not the important part of Claire that makes me want her so bad. It is all of the stuff inside her "shell" that I adore.

Now, I know our blog has a reputation of soley existing to objectify [to treat as an object] and degrade [to drag down in moral or intellectual character] women and I'm happy to uphold that eidolon. Its true, I do want to lie (in the Biblical sense) with every girl that lives in Claires hallway. Without regard for a future relationship or their feelings for me. I don't know why? But, the desire is definitely there. (See, that's me wanting to treat women like objects, objects whose sole purpose is to please me) Except I don't want to lie with Wendy, because, well... she's (gasp!) ugly [offensive or unpleasant to the sight] and, for one reason or another, I have no desire to objectify ugly women. (See, there I am being degrading to women.)

So, I guess that right now my "want" of Claire outweighs my "want" to objectify, otherwise I would try and make out with all the girls in her circle of friends (except for Wendy). And by that same token, if I think that Daisy's "shell" is superior to Claire's, that makes Claire a degree of ugly below Daisy. Which demonstrartes that my "want" of Claire outweighs my "want" to degrade, otherwise I would leave Claire in the dust for the better model, Daisy.

Which all sounds awesome to me, except... Claire still doesn't know the good effect that my "want" of her is having on me. I recognize the need to change this, otherwise I might as well just make out with Wendy and call it a day.

Last night, like many nights, Claire and I were sitting in her living room, just the two of us, talking. As always we were on seperate chairs, the other people in our group had sifted off. We were planning a movie night that we would get a projector and invite a bunch of people over. We got off on a tangent about why, for the most part, girls like trash tv and guys like video games. Never really coming up with an answer we concluded that having two TV's in a married couples living room would be ideal for a sustainable and strong marriage so that while she was watching American Idol for the third night in a row, he could be playing Modern Warfare right there in the same room, both of them doing what they liked, but still sharing that time together.

Claire pointed out that one problem with our idea was that she liked to cuddle during American Idol and I boasted that I could both cuddle and play games simultaneously. She laughed. I said, "Clearly you are unaware of my cuddling prowess." She scoffed, "Clearly." I said, "Well then, on movie night, you and me will be cuddle buddies." She semi-sarcastically said, "Oh, Jake, I thought you'd never ask."

So... yeah it was pretty pathetic, but at least it's a foot in the door.

Jake

*In my post titled Sassy = Stupid I apparently did not do a very good job of explaining myself. I do not, nor does any man I know for that matter, think that "stupid" is automatically a trait associated with all sassy girls. In that post, I had a choice between a sassy girl and a sporty girl. I picked sassy, and that girl... that one girl... though she was sassy, was also stupid. Thus my disappointment, because a sassy, smart girl is a very sexy combination. Perhaps had I titled the post Sassy = Stupid? that would have cleared up a lot of the confusion.