Blue Man Group Cuddle

Last night we did our big movie night. Some dude in Claire's complex was able to score a copy of Avatar on DVD for us. I have no idea where the kid got it or by what means. I remember one of those old Mormon Ad's that my dad had taped up on the door to our garage titled "Gossip" that had these hands passing around black muck that (I always imaged was infested with something disgusting like the HIV virus or something, because otherwise it's just mud, and mud never hurt any one... but if you were passing around AIDS I think the metaphor would be a little more poignant.) had a smaller subtitle which read "don't pass it on". So I don't know where he got Avatar from and for me to guess and then to post that guess here on the world wide web would be like throwing a handful of the virus known as HIV in your eyeball, get it?

As planned there was about an hour or so of build up before the movie actually started. A period for people to arrive, for beverages to be poured, and for popcorn to be popped. This time was necessary for everyone to get settled and figure out who they were going to be snuggling with. So far, nobody in this group has really paired off yet. With the love tetra decagon discussed a little while ago the possibilities were vast... especially considering there were several other people from Claire's ward involved. So far, all five of the guys from my house haven't smooched a soul in our new grazing patch.

My plan was to cuddle with Claire thanks to my weak mention of cuddling during a planning meeting we had earlier in the week. I really like Claire, is that not clear yet? I wish, too, that I would have just asked her out instead of creating this big, out of control group that we have to manage... even if we do get to manage it together. So there were 19 people there last night. To maximize comfortable seating, we rounded up couches and Love Sacs from surrounding apartments to make it all work in Claire's living room.

Aaron and Lance both wanted to get with Daisy, which was pretty funny to watch because she knew it and I think their subtle one-up-man-ship turned her off. I was talking to a group of people and I could see the three of them, Aaron and Lance standing on either side of her while she sat on this hamper thingy. I heard Aaron say, "I was telling Lance how much it would mean to Sally if he cuddled with her tonight since she has a big crush." To which Lance immediately replied, "Yeah you said that right before you told me you and Shelly had made a deal to snuggle tonight, tell me and Daisy whats up with you two?" I realized during this blatant violation of our mantra that Daisy was staring at me. We made eye contact and I smiled. She rolled her eyes and smiled back. Then she said something to both of them I couldn't make out and stood up and came over and started talking to me and the little group I was entertaining.

Where was Claire? She was off entertaining, too. I noticed that her group slowly drifted to my group leaving her talking to New Guy. New guys name was Adam. He was new to the group, a friend of... someone. Anyway, I watched as their body language got more flirty. She was laughing a lot. I had talked with Adam only once, and unfortunately (because I kept wanting to imagine his head melting like that Japanese guy in "Raiders of the Lost Ark") he seemed really cool... and funny. I'm pretty sure he is better looking than me, too.

I wasn't worried about Adam, mostly because he is old. Adam is 31 or 35 or 50 or something. I mean, Claire turned 19 in January, so when I scouted my competition tonight he didn't even show up on my radar. I tried to avoid looking at them, but they were suddenly in their own little world... which reminded me of the time I met Claire.

I walked into the kitchen and started another bag of popcorn which gave me a second to strategize. The movie was about to start and Claire and I were supposed to be sitting together. I tried not to stare at Claire and Adam, but I did. He wasn't only cool, funny, and good looking, but the dude was also pretty smooth. I watched his hand movements and touches as they interacted and it made me jealous. I always say I don't get jealous... but I don't know how else to describe that twisting, tightening discomfort in that empty space inside between my xiphoid process and my stomach. I watched as Adam, in one fluid motion turned towards the screen and as he did his hand cupped the small of Claire's back and asked where they were going to sit. Seconds later they occupied the chair-n-a-half in the corner.

I hadn't come right out and said "I really just want to hold you in my arms tonight" or anything, but didn't Claire know I was interested? Did she even care? Did she forget our arrangement or was the Ring Reader in her just accommodating? I could relate to that... I guess.

No, Claire didn't seem to notice I was even there anymore. As far as I could tell, I didn't exist after Adams second funny joke coupled with a one of his three fingered brushes across her shoulder. I felt sick. I thought about going home, I thought about calling Calvin, but then I thought, "Okay, it's not like they're getting married, or even going to kiss tonight. They are just going to watch a movie together. Besides Calvin is on a date and wouldn't answer anyway."

I felt a little better and the 20th Century Fox fanfare from the DVD drowned out all the chatter. That's when Daisy walked into the kitchen grabbed me by the arm and said, "There's one seat left next to me." which was the bean bag inconveniently located directly in front of Claire and Mr. Wonderful. As we walked over, I noted that both Aaron and Lance were still standing looking for a place to sit.

So... there I was cuddling with Daisy. A situation which would most likely be called a cock-block later on by Aaron and Lance. Aaron and Lance both found another girl they could rub ankles with. Aaron with Shelly, and Lance with another girl from the ward that was there. All the while, the girl I wanted was back on the Chair-in-a-half with another dude.

I spent pretty much the first half of the movie listening to every single sound, no matter how faint, coming from behind me. It was awful, and I suggest no one else try it... ever. I heard cloth rubbing softly which in reality was probably her own elbow brushing her own stomach as she scratched her nose... but in my mind, Adam was behind us all mounting Claire and taking from her all that we, as virtuous Mormons, hold dear.

To try and get my mind off of it, I thought about making a move on Daisy. We were spooning and the bean bag made positioning perfect so that I could see right past her ear and over her neck. Daisy's hair was pretty short, but she had pulled it up. I lay there and looked at her neck. I've always felt I am a pretty accomplished cuddler. I've discovered that treating a cuddle like a slow, less intense shoulder massage on every part of the body that I can touch (without feeling like I have to talk to the bishop about it) drives pretty much all women wild. I was gently rubbing my fingers down Daisy's neck, on to her shoulder, down her arm and then back up. She occasionally let out a little whimper that was so quiet the first few times I thought it was coming from somewhere else (like behind us).

I didn't want to make out with Daisy. Furthermore, I don't think she wanted to make out with me. I think that she needed a rescue from my two hormonal pals and I needed a spot to lay and feel all jealous. Sure, on a strict 0 to 10 scale, Daisy may be a better choice, and it's not that she is dumb or stuck-up either, but I knew that I wanted Claire. Not just to roll around with. I want to have that feeling I have when I am with her all of the time.

Avatar is long and boring in parts (sort of like this post), people started getting up and leaving. Some fell asleep. The room really started to thin out. We got to the part where all the characters in the movie are blue, and I heard a little more than an elbow brush. Claire's hand touched my shoulder and she whispered, "I think we're out." I nodded and watched her and Adam walk back into her room. You thought my imagination did some damage when I heard rustling behind me?

Daisy rolled over and said, "Everyone's going to sleep." Then she nuzzled her face into my neck. I finished the movie and when the credits rolled, Nick sat up, looked around, and said, "See you guys." Aaron and Shelly were gone, and Lance was fast asleep with about four other people on the far side of the room. I started to get up but Daisy clung onto me and made a whispered, "uh un" sound. We laid there till the credits were over.

Her lips were on my neck, and I was imagining Claire in her room making out with Adam, which is totally not like her. The room was lit blue from the DVD menu light. I looked down at Daisy's body back-lit by that glow. I just decided to kiss Daisy. I mean, I hadn't kissed a girl since Sanders and.... Claire...? "Eff Claire." I thought. We went back to Daisy's apartment, where we found Aaron and Shelly in their room. So we made-out for a bit on the sofa until she fell asleep. By the way, (for the seven guys who read this blog) Daisy really is so hot, I mean she smokes of hotness and she's a great kisser. (She was so objectifying me though, I mean how incredibly disrespectful and disgusting right?) I drove home feeling terrible, jealous, and rejected. Making out with the hottest girl in the room made no difference.

It gets worse.

Before you go jumping all over Claire... I found out today that her and Adam did not even kiss. They didn't come anywhere close to my wild imagination. She does like him though... whatever that means.

Jake