Saturday, March 6, 2010

Happy Birthday, Marci. Happy Awesomeness, Kellie.

C: Hey, Jake, look what we got today in our PO box. It appears to be a Valentine's Day package from people who actually love us and know how to prove it.


J: How thoughtful. Are those boxers both mediums?
C: Um... yeah... they are.
J: I guess you got two new pairs of boxers, Calvin.



C: I got dibs on Edward.
J: Good, cause Edward's a fag.
C: I dare you to say that to his face.



J: It looks like another fan who thinks we make out more than we really do.
C: Well, not with each other.



(simultaneously)
J: I'm just gonna grab this chapstick.
C: I'm just gonna grab this chapstick.



J: Whoops. That was an accident.
C: Yeah, I totally didn't mean to interlock fingers.
J: Me neither.



J: Did that come in the package framed?
C: No. I framed it.
J: Where did you get the frame?
C: Walmart.
J: You bought the frame just for that poem.
C: Yes.

Jake and Calvin

80 comments:

The Lady Girl said...

Judging your hands pretty harshly right now.

Katie said...

Ha! That's awesome. And your guys' hands are not as I pictured them...but yay for a picture. What's next? picture of your feet? Maybe I'll send you guys some shoes ;-) ahah

kel(LOVE)lie said...

Sorry we got the size wrong, Jake. It was our best guess + availability. Maybe next time.

Kellie said...

Aw.. hetero life mate hand holding picture.

Annie Citrine said...

Hmm... I feel strangely uncomfortable reading this blog now that I've seen your hands... very strange. I won't stop reading, of course. But I feel weird. That's hilarious though!

Nikki said...

Please tell me those are hired model hands folded snuggly and tight...they are TINY and Meek yet they know what is right. During all the long hours 'til daylight is through, there is plenty indeed for my two hands to do. yo.
Lady Girl said it. Judging. Harshly.

uuuuuuuuummmmmm said...

you are all fags, so it makes no difference.

disturbeddisturbeddisturbed said...

The only thing you just proved was how totally gay you are.

How long did you have to sit there posing for the hand holding shot?

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

I said it on Twitter and I'll say it here; if you cannot act a little gay with each other, what is the point of living?

Sometimes it is the spice of life.

Crystal said...

That was awesome.

Only thing is you'll need another chapstick because you each need one for your upper and one for your lower.

Yeah, that was a Chad Dylan Cooper quote. So what?

I'm liking the hand action, I've always had a thing for hands.

I swear you guys are hilarious.

And no I'm not begging for them to love me haters....shut it.

Beary Bee said...

Ba ha ha ha ha! Love it. Way to go Kellie and Marci!

Miss Meaghan said...

someone has chubby fingers.

btw totally not judging.

:)

hater said...

I am guessing Jake's the bigger one on top (and by bigger I mean the one with the bigger hand). And Calvin's the little hairy one.

p.s. I knew Sam was gay! hahahahahah!

Anonymous said...

I used to like you, now I just like making fun of you.

hater said...

Will you do an entire post about me if I send you a package proving how much I hate you?

Anonymous said...

Um...not only are both of you gay, but so are the two girls who sent that package. Also, little chubby hands. You know what they say? I would hate to see your feet.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha HATER. I love you! Also, what kind of stupid girl drops $8.60 on a stupid package to these guys. Lame and way sad. They are probably the same girls who think these guys have nice hands. All I see is pudgy little hands. SICK!

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Hater: You're on to me! Blast! Well I guess it is out in the open now. I just want Jake or Calvin to love me. Is that so bad? ;-)

Yep, I went there. said...

I wonder how far these girls would go to get a little recognition? I am so embarrassed for them. Not because they sent the package, but because they actually think it's cool. Being a prostitute doesn't just mean giving it up!

Anonymous said...

Sam,

If these boys jumped off a bridge, would you? IDIOT!

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Anonymous 2:49: If they jumped off bridges, I would jump off the same bridge too. I am pretty sure that is what she said too.

ROTFL said...

The poem sucks. BUT, it's ok because these girls are your most devoted NON MORMON fans. Those boxers are going to look hot over your g's!

Prick said...

All the anonymous haters are just mad Jake called Edward a fag.

losers

Anonymous said...

Actually the MBP insignia on those shirts under tge chap stick is 8" across and the little hand is clearing that diagonally... if what they say is true,

I'm a bit turned on.

Yeah I said it. I will stalk and then rape you guys if you're ever exposed. Just sayin! :))

Anonymous said...

Jake did say he would go gay for Calvin.

Love makes you do strange things.

hater said...

Sam, Sam, Sam now don't get your panties in a wod!

And by jumping off a cliff/bridge don't you mean you would do a threesome?

SUCKITSAM said...

Buruuuuuurrrrrrnnnnnn SAM! You just got owned.

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Blast, you know about my pink frilly laced panty collection! You know too much!

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

Sorry, I don't suck strangers. Even if it has that zesty, spicy, burn-in-your-mouth type taste. You know how it is.

No hard feelings? There may be others willing to suck it though. You could try them.

Anonymous said...

Sam you're a fag. Go back to your own gay blog and write on that. No shock that you hail from Provo.

Anonymous said...

if you're going to act gay, you guys could at least moisturize.

the bigger hand looks like it has dirty nails too. tsk tsk. and yes, i enlarged the picture to check.

all in all, i prefer the littler, hairy hand with the sleeve showing. so if that's calvin, i'd totally hold your hand calvin.

Elizabeth Downie said...

I've never given any thought to what your hands might look like, but if I had, this isn't what I would have pictured.

Heidi said...

what if someone had a huge hand fetish and showing both of your hands turned them on incredibely??

Just sayin. It's like...porn to some people.

How I Met Your Mother said...

"Your hands are monsterous!" -Barney

"What did you expect? You've seen my penis" -Marshall

Amy said...

Hey people with extra money to throw around! Send C and J more packages because this post is righteous, dudes.

Bahahahaha! "me neither" *starting to stroke*

Little said...

bahahaha.....this was completely random, but....not surprising. lovin' the hand interlocking action ;)

ethan_marston said...

Haha, does anyone else find it funny that two post-mission Mormons were sent boxers? Ah, well. I guess you can keep them for memories and such.

Crystal said...

Wait, wait, wait...are Mormon guys not allowed to wear boxers post mission?

I'm learning so much.

Anonymous said...

Crystal,

are you an idiot?

Hailey said...

I can't believe you bought a frame, that is so gay!

here's a poem for you said...

the bigger the feet, the bigger the socks.

the bigger the hands, the bigger the...

Anonymous said...

Ummmm anonymous don't be rude to Crystal. Us non-mormons have no idea about all of your rules.

Why can't they wear boxers?

Crystal said...

Anon 10:21,

Believe it or not the entire world doesn't know the rules of the Mormon faith. Just because I read this blog doesn't mean I'm obsessed with the religion of the writers.

Thank you Anon 2:00. I appreciate the support. :)

Jenny said...

It's so funny to me that these "non members" are so intrigued with this blog, yet they don't even know about the faith. Why would you be so intrigued with supposed virgins who do everything but the deed....that we know of. If you aren't obsessed with the religion of the writers, then why do you jump on the bandwagon and constantly pat them on the back for being fence sitting mormons? I've seen Crystal comment on more than one post. They can't wear boxers because they wear garments. If you don't know about them then maybe you should send Jake and Calvin a package and coax them to write a post explaining the sacred clothing. I guarantee you both boys are dumb enough to do this.

Crystal said...

I don't recall ever denying that I read this blog. Therefore, I tend to comment on the posts. I comment on every blog I read. But I don't find it necessary to know everything about the people/person just because I enjoy their posts.

Truthfully, I find that there is more going on in this blog than religion. And it's highly entertaining. I also read Busy Bee Lauren's blog....she also happens to be Mormon. I don't read her posts because she IS Mormon but I respect her beliefs and am always open to her view point on things, no matter how different they may be from mine.

I don't pat anyone on the back for their beliefs, it's called respect and tolerance.

whitney said...

baahaha awesome.

Edward is so not a fag.

Elizabeth Downie said...

I'm no expert on Crystal, but I don't really get why people are being harsh on her. Give her a break!

Anonymous said...

You guys wear boxers? I thought you've been on missions.....temple? Uhm smart girls for sending you boxers you'll never use.. (duh)

Prick said...

Anonymous 10:21am you are an idiot. You're a moron, you can not read. You are no doubt ugly too.

Jenny, the only thing uglier than you stupid face is you horrific personality. I can't wait to point and laugh when I see you fall on your fat ass.

Leave other people alone and be a good Mormon you sick abusive losers.

Crystal. I'm sorry that those two are ass wipes.

As I understand it Mormons wear special underwear when they go through their temple. They are a symbol of promises that they make to God, similar to the prayers that Jews put on their doorways and to catholic priests collars.

Another Anonymous Person said...

Hello! I am an anonymous person and thus I feel the privilege to mock and insult anyone I feel like! Go me!

Anonymous said...

I believe guys can still use boxers post-mission.

For example, some guys wear the "sacred undergarments" to the gym. some wear something else.

personal choice. that's it.

Gibson said...

As a temple garment wearing Mormon. There are many opportunities to wear regular boxers. Sports and very dirty work.

Also when married, wearing boxers during sexy time foreplay is not inappropriate.

I'm really ashamed of all the Mormons on here making fun of non-Mormons who are taking an interest in members of our faith. Instead of using this as an opportunity to teach they are using it as an opportunity to mock. I hope you're all as lucky as Alma the younger and get thumped by an angel.

Anonymous said...

I'm really embarrassed that Prick compared garments to the collars a catholic priest wears. Are you kidding me? Awesome, another idiot. hahaha. And I'm gonna go ahead and post this anonymously just for the prick.

Anonymous said...

I'm really embarrassed that Prick compared garments to the collars a catholic priest wears. Are you kidding me? Awesome, another idiot. hahaha. And I'm gonna go ahead and post this anonymously just for the prick.

Tara said...

Steve Young, a practicing Mormon, did not wear his "garnments" during his football games.

Unless he went commando, I'd expect he was wearing other undies.

This post is hilarious by the way.

Your homo-erotic humor is outstanding.

Nikki said...

I am in love with Prick.

Prick said...

Really anonymous 9:12, why are you embarrased?

Do you know anything about Catholics or did it just feel good to make an ass of yourself without explaining why?

Brittnay said...

You know what they say about big hands ;)

Anonymous said...

Prick,

I was born and raised Catholic. Christened, made my first holy communion and even went on to the confirmation. I converted to the lds church a while back. This is why I am confused as to why you would compare the sacred garment to a collar that a catholic priest wears around his neck. Did you know that most diocese don't even require their priests to wear the collar anymore? The diocese is the priests jurisdiction. The intentions of the collar were never near to the ones of the garment. You have a web of knowledge at your fingertips and a blog with 2 supposed lds authors...please use it.

Prick said...

Nikki,

How old are you? You look about as old as my mom. Not interested.

Prick said...

Nikki, that wasn't me. I love you and don't care that you're as old as my mom.

Anonymous 8:36pm I see a whole lot of writing but tour just blabbing saying it's a bad example without saying why. Which hardly matters because all I can think about is how bad you smell you silly broad.

I am catholic.

Catholic is a religion.
Mormon is a religion.
Collars are worn as a symbol.
Garnments are worn as a symbol.

Sorry that's so embarassing you smelly fart. You have a wrath of logic and common sense at your disposal. Use it. And take a shower. With soap. Lots and lots of soap.

Anonymous said...

But not the same symbol prick. Also, I would rather smell bad than be named Penis. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

And it's garments, not garnments. You are a penis who can't spell. hahahahaha.

Prick said...

Smelly,

ididnt say that garnments where exactly the same thing as collars, clean the boogers out of your eyes.

Now I can see why you're embarrased, by your logic:
Garments are to collars as prick is to penis.

Get an education, go take another pill for you bi-polar disorder and trust me on the shower.

Anonymous said...

Catholic is not a religion. That would be Catholicism. Owned, once again. I could go all night Penis. Also, I am no broad. Just a guy...with a prick...like your name.

Prick said...

Mormon isn't a religion either. The only thing you've owned is your ass wipe. And thanks for admiring you smell. I was guessing based off you stupidnesses.

Since your avoiding the subject again, why was the comparassion wrong?

Yur write penis's cnt sppel. When you see one you'll learn that.

Anonymous said...

I have a degree from our church's private college. When did I say that garments were to collars, as penis is to prick? I never did. I am smelly, but you are blind. If you look up your name (Prick) in the dictionary, you will see that it is another form of the word penis. Well, I'm done talking to you now...I have to go pop my bipolar meds. See ya Penis.

Cassie Lynne said...

G's (aka garments)= all the time

Accept the three S's...

Sweat
Swimming
Sex.

Plenty of boxer action

Anonymous said...

Agreed with Cassie. You will put the boxers to use sometime boys. That is, if you fit into the mediums. lol.

Prick said...

Oh, oh. You have a degree, and you corrected my spelling. I take it all back. You're right smelly, you are right. I am wrong and anyone else who recognizes that the collar worn by catholic priests and the garnments (I like my spelling better, if you were so smart you could deal with that) worn by Mormons are both religious symbols is a complete and utter idiot (I added "complete" and "utter" for effect) I'm glad "your church"es school teaches you to be a superior human being.

I would have walked away too without ever actually responding to what I said, or explaining what it was that made me an idiot.

Oh I remember, my name "means" penis. hahahahaha.*

*should there be spaces in this typed out laughter? I wouldn't know I don't have a degree from a private church college.

You thought you had a pubic hair... Till you peed out of it. Ha ha ha ha ha

Jeanna said...

Not to take sides but prick you sound like the bipolar one. You were doing ok until the last post. You're all over the place. I still love both you and anonymous.

Prick said...

Not that there's anything wrong with being bi-polar, eh Jeanna?

Thanks for the love.

mouthwash works too said...

"It looks like another fan who thinks we make out more than we really do."

Or another fan who thinks you have bad breath and chapped lips.

Natalie said...

I have to agree with Prick on this one. The garment represents a strong commitment to God and can be likened to the clothing worn by clergy of other faiths. Boyd K. Packer talked about this very thing in his book The Holy Temple: Those who have received their endowment know what the garment symbolizes and the sacred nature of the covenants connected with it. But it is important to satisfy the inquiry of those who are legitimately interested, to the point at least of having them understand that this is a matter of very deep significance to us in the Church.
To the chaplain who made the inquiry I responded with a question: "Which church do you represent?" In response he named one of the Protestant churches.
I said, "In civilian life and also when conducting the meetings in the military service you wear clerical clothing, do you not?" He said that he did.
I continued: "I would suppose that that has some importance to you, that in a sense it sets you apart from the rest of your congregation. It is your uniform, as it were, of the ministry. Also, I suppose it may have a much more important place. It reminds you of who you are and what your obligations and covenants are. It is a continual reminder that you are a member of the clergy, that you regard yourself as a servant of the Lord, and that you are responsible to live in such a way as to be worthy of your ordination."
The chaplains all seemed to consent to this approval of the value of their own clerical clothing.
I then told them: [...] we draw some of the same benefits from this special clothing as you would draw from your clerical vestments. The difference is that we wear ours under our clothing instead of outside.

If you read this whole comment, thanks! Hope that helps a bit to clear things up.

Anonymous said...

ROTFL @ mouthwash works too!

Lauren said...

Natalie,

I see what you mean and I see what Elder Packer was saying in his talk too. However, if you've been through the temple you'll remember that the symbolism is nothing in comparison to that of the collar. I don't think Prick and anon should have been talking about the garments on here anyway. Too sacred ya know?

Vanessa said...

Hahaha I love this! & Marci! & that hand holding pic!

Jessica said...

The anonymous comments around here are getting OUT OF CONTROL.

By the way, the hands are being analyzed. you know it.

Craig Barlow B. said...

My goodness. Someone wrote you a poem.

Anonymous said...

Wow. This discussion with the faiths is rude, crude, and inappropriate. On both sides. Honestly, I am appalled at both of you. Non-members normally don't know better, and should look it up on lds.org or mormon.org, but members should be respectful. Not crude. Get a life. Both of you.

This blog is for the boys, and their fans. Not for two immature ones to argue back and forth and make pointless comments that in reality will never not have another comment to be made.

Holy cow. :/