The Heights

When I first called Claire a couple weeks ago I made what may have been a fatal relationship error. Instead of asking her on a date, I pitched her on a "unite the clans" idea, where she had girl friends who were cool and I had guy friends who were cool so we should get them together. Pretty basic socializing.

This has worked out really well for our "clans". Claire lives in a large apartment complex near the U called The Heights. It is mostly occupied by students. Claire lives in a two bedroom apartment with another girl, Ginger. Then, across the hall from them, there is an apartment with 4 other girls. Down the hall about two doors is another 3 girls. So, 9 nubile hotties within a few dozen yards of each other. Pretty ideal.

I think that their entire Singles Ward lives in The Heights. So my roommates and I aren't even confined to just the 9 girls in Claire's hallway.

We've been hanging at The Heights almost every night. The only downfall is that Calvin has night classes 3 nights during the week, so he misses out on a lot of the action. So we go over, hang out in their complex, bounce from apartment to apartment trying to meet all the girls we can and make some lasting impressions on them.

Amidst this large pool of single action, Claire and I have been hanging out together a lot. This is mostly because we both tend to play "ring leader" in our respective groups. That makes it really easy for us to get something going that has a lot of people and a lot of fun. As mentioned, this all works very well for our respective groups of cool friends. Unfortunately, it puts me and Claire into almost a professional relationship. It's kind of like we are really good friends that work together... friends who flirt a lot with each other but who, by virtue of our (self imposed) leadership roles are often flirting with and getting to know new people, too.

I wish that when I made that first phone call I would have just asked Claire out. Then after nurturing a little romance we could use our combined ring leader prowess to generate all this fun for others while being all lovey-dovey and stuff simultaneously.

Instead we spend a lot of time hanging out. Planning and plotting. We talk on the phone all the time, but almost every conversation starts with something like, "What are we doing tonight?" or "Who all is coming to (insert social gathering details) from your group?" or "I'm thinking it would be so fun to do (insert Mormon-approved recreational activity)."

I want to just ask her out, but it's weird, I may have missed my boat. I know a lot of guys prefer the "hang-out and make-out" process that seems so popular amongst youngsters these days. I am terrible at it, though. I have to take a girl out, make her laugh, work my way from gentle touches, to hand holds, to a doorstep scene - granted that can all happen in one night - but just making a move while in a group setting... I don't have a clue.

Claire and I (I think) have a real connection. On two or three occasions we have stayed up just talking, deep heart-to-heart kind of stuff, late into the night. It's awesome. Usually I can't talk to girls longer than a few minute without thinking they need another 7 years of school before we ever have another conversation. Like Andrea and Sanders, the ability to just talk is a big factor for me.

Right now, Claire's OS rating is off the charts. So... what seems to be the problem? I guess I am scared. Scared, that since we've been great friends up till now, that perhaps that's all Claire would be interested in. Scared that if I express a more romantic interest that she would be like, "Oh Jake, I didn't mean to lead you on, I just don't think about you 'that way'." As confident as I pretend to be, that would kill me. Had I asked her out originally and she would have rejected me, that's one thing. Now, though, there would be all this weirdness and the 'big group' environment we are creating would be hard to avoid.

Yeah, yeah, dig in and berate my cowardice. Whatever. I know I need to "Man up" so if that's your best advice, save it.

There is this small part of me that thinks if I just keep doing the friend thing that we will just end up becoming so close, and our bond will grow so strong that our (Claire and I) story will just become that REO Speedwagon song -

"...what started out as friendship has grown stronger.
I only wish I had the strength to let it show.

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever.
I say there is no reason for my fear.
'Cause I feel so secure when we're together.
You give my life direction, you make everything so clear...

...Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore.
I've forgotten what I started fightin' for.
And if i have to crawl along the floor.
Come crashing through the door.
Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore."

Jake