Death Pact

I've always been a "one-friend" kinda guy. That's totally opposite of Jake. I don't really remember much from the first five years of my life in Arizona. I have a mental image of one kid I'd hang out with and I assume he was my Arizona friend. When I moved to Utah at age 5, I immediately made friends with a kid right around the corner from my house named, AJ. He was my best (and only) friend until the age of 15 when my family moved to Davis County. Within a few weeks of living in Davis County, I had another best (and only) friend, Randy. He was my best friend until I met Jake in Ireland.

I live in a house with four other dudes and only one of them is really my friend. I don't know if anyone reading this understands what I'm saying. It's like Lance, Nick, and Aaron are only my friends by association. If Jake is on a date or something, then I'm fine just chilling at home with them, but it's just not the same cause my best friend isn't there. I never go anywhere with any of them when it's just us. Ever. The only time I ever leave our house with my roommates is if Jake is there. I know that sounds totally gay, but that's just how it works with me.

Jake, on the other hand, has a billion friends. He tells me that I'm his best friend, but usually only when I force him to by saying something like, "So, Jake... am I still your BEST best friend?" He'll look at me with the most serious facial expression he can muster as he answers, "Of course, dude." I'll laugh really hard, and pretend like I was just joking and I really couldn't care less... but deep down he knows that I need that reassurance from him sometimes.

We were talking the other day about what we'd do if the other person died. I was fully prepared to discuss my inevitable depression and how long I'd probably wait until I could start searching for a new best friend who could share in my life goals and be my shoulder to cry on if I happen to be watching a sad movie like Brokeback Mountain. Before I could begin explaining my well-thought out series of emotions, Jake says, "I'd probably pretend to be Calvin for a while on the blog so that people didn't realize it was us writing it." I was like, "What?" Jake said, "Well, if you died and then all of a sudden, it's only Jake writing the blog, then everyone would know we were the authors of MBP... so I'd pretend I was you for a little while just to throw people off." Then I said, "So you'd just make up stories about Calvin indefinitely?" Jake thought for a second and then said, "Not indefinitely. Just until I could marry you off or have you move out or something." I was starting to get a little angry. I said, "First of all... that's exactly what indefinitely means. Second of all, you would pretend to be me for an entire courtship and engagement? And thirdly, you think you'd be able to move past my death so quickly that you could write humorous and witty post under the guise of 'Calvin' the day following my death?"

Our discussion got off on a tangent for a little while about how Jake's ability to rapidly get over my untimely demise was contingent on the manner in which I died. If, for example, I got a tanning pass for my birthday and decided to go tanning three times a week for four months and then... one night after an evening of cramming for finals in the campus library, I fell victim to a mistaken hate crime where the perpetrators were trying to kill a Mexican and accidentally killed me because of my awesome tan, well then that would just be hilarious and probably pretty easy to accept just because it was so funny. On the other hand, if I got hit by a car and ended up drowning in my own blood in the middle of the street... well... that would be harder. I totally understood what Jake was saying and it made sense.

I admitted to Jake that sometimes I get a little nervous when I can't get a hold of him. Sometimes I'll try to call him and he won't answer. I leave him messages that he doesn't return. A couple of times, he's decided to sleep somewhere else and I won't see him all night long. I told him that I get nervous that maybe he's dead somewhere and then I get even MORE nervous cause I start wondering how the notification process works in his family. Jake seemed to share my concern, but it's hard to tell sometimes if Jake is just humoring me. What if one of us dies, our parents get notified by law enforcement, but the information fails to trickle to the best friend for a couple of days? That would be horrible and super scary.

Ultimately, our conversation ended with a Death Pact. We promised each other that if one of us dies unexpectedly, we'd find a way (no longer bound by mortal limitations) to let the other person know we're dead. Maybe appear in the other one's dream and say something like, "Hey dude. Remember our death pact? Well, I'm dead... just so you know." or maybe even touch the living friend's spirit and just let him know through a feeling that the other one of us is dead. That might be harder, though, cause I can see myself watching Party Heat on Tru TV and all of the sudden I'd get a peculiar sensation in my soul and turn to Nick and say, "I just got a weird feeling. I think Jake's spirit just communicated with my spirit to let me know he's dead. But I might just have gas."

Calvin