Thursday, March 11, 2010

Death Pact

I've always been a "one-friend" kinda guy. That's totally opposite of Jake. I don't really remember much from the first five years of my life in Arizona. I have a mental image of one kid I'd hang out with and I assume he was my Arizona friend. When I moved to Utah at age 5, I immediately made friends with a kid right around the corner from my house named, AJ. He was my best (and only) friend until the age of 15 when my family moved to Davis County. Within a few weeks of living in Davis County, I had another best (and only) friend, Randy. He was my best friend until I met Jake in Ireland.

I live in a house with four other dudes and only one of them is really my friend. I don't know if anyone reading this understands what I'm saying. It's like Lance, Nick, and Aaron are only my friends by association. If Jake is on a date or something, then I'm fine just chilling at home with them, but it's just not the same cause my best friend isn't there. I never go anywhere with any of them when it's just us. Ever. The only time I ever leave our house with my roommates is if Jake is there. I know that sounds totally gay, but that's just how it works with me.

Jake, on the other hand, has a billion friends. He tells me that I'm his best friend, but usually only when I force him to by saying something like, "So, Jake... am I still your BEST best friend?" He'll look at me with the most serious facial expression he can muster as he answers, "Of course, dude." I'll laugh really hard, and pretend like I was just joking and I really couldn't care less... but deep down he knows that I need that reassurance from him sometimes.

We were talking the other day about what we'd do if the other person died. I was fully prepared to discuss my inevitable depression and how long I'd probably wait until I could start searching for a new best friend who could share in my life goals and be my shoulder to cry on if I happen to be watching a sad movie like Brokeback Mountain. Before I could begin explaining my well-thought out series of emotions, Jake says, "I'd probably pretend to be Calvin for a while on the blog so that people didn't realize it was us writing it." I was like, "What?" Jake said, "Well, if you died and then all of a sudden, it's only Jake writing the blog, then everyone would know we were the authors of MBP... so I'd pretend I was you for a little while just to throw people off." Then I said, "So you'd just make up stories about Calvin indefinitely?" Jake thought for a second and then said, "Not indefinitely. Just until I could marry you off or have you move out or something." I was starting to get a little angry. I said, "First of all... that's exactly what indefinitely means. Second of all, you would pretend to be me for an entire courtship and engagement? And thirdly, you think you'd be able to move past my death so quickly that you could write humorous and witty post under the guise of 'Calvin' the day following my death?"

Our discussion got off on a tangent for a little while about how Jake's ability to rapidly get over my untimely demise was contingent on the manner in which I died. If, for example, I got a tanning pass for my birthday and decided to go tanning three times a week for four months and then... one night after an evening of cramming for finals in the campus library, I fell victim to a mistaken hate crime where the perpetrators were trying to kill a Mexican and accidentally killed me because of my awesome tan, well then that would just be hilarious and probably pretty easy to accept just because it was so funny. On the other hand, if I got hit by a car and ended up drowning in my own blood in the middle of the street... well... that would be harder. I totally understood what Jake was saying and it made sense.

I admitted to Jake that sometimes I get a little nervous when I can't get a hold of him. Sometimes I'll try to call him and he won't answer. I leave him messages that he doesn't return. A couple of times, he's decided to sleep somewhere else and I won't see him all night long. I told him that I get nervous that maybe he's dead somewhere and then I get even MORE nervous cause I start wondering how the notification process works in his family. Jake seemed to share my concern, but it's hard to tell sometimes if Jake is just humoring me. What if one of us dies, our parents get notified by law enforcement, but the information fails to trickle to the best friend for a couple of days? That would be horrible and super scary.

Ultimately, our conversation ended with a Death Pact. We promised each other that if one of us dies unexpectedly, we'd find a way (no longer bound by mortal limitations) to let the other person know we're dead. Maybe appear in the other one's dream and say something like, "Hey dude. Remember our death pact? Well, I'm dead... just so you know." or maybe even touch the living friend's spirit and just let him know through a feeling that the other one of us is dead. That might be harder, though, cause I can see myself watching Party Heat on Tru TV and all of the sudden I'd get a peculiar sensation in my soul and turn to Nick and say, "I just got a weird feeling. I think Jake's spirit just communicated with my spirit to let me know he's dead. But I might just have gas."

Calvin

101 comments:

Katie said...

Wow. Are you guys married or something? Your concern for him is heartwarming...but very, very strange at the same time.

I love that Jake would keep writing as you if you died...Wait, how do we really know that's not what he's doing right now?

Julie said...

Okay, I did laugh. I think I totally get what your saying, Calvin. However, at the same time, I am wondering if I will ever be able to recover the few minutes I lost of my life while reading this post. Not likely!

Nicole said...

awww, that's pretty sweet..
i find bromances to be just adorable, but please don't let it get too far.... hmm.. it's too bad there's not polygamy for women or else you two could marry the same girl and live together for, well, forever.

TLC said...

Awe.
Calvin and Jake...the "Bromance"
LOL


I'm coming to Utah in May. Salt Lake to be exact for two weeks and I have to admit that the thought of...
"what IF I was to meet the real Calvin or Jake?"....Keeps me pretty entertained. But, then again my girlfriends keep sayin your both really girls or one girl or some old perve...

Anonymous said...

Um, I would agree with Katie. It is very very strange...like, almost creepy. We all have besties, but I don't think most everyone gets so involved that they end up holding each other back from meeting a girl and moving on. It's probably a blessing in disguise though. While you two are shacking up, there are two girls who are dodging your bullet and meeting 2 other guys. Awesome!

Bad Horse said...

Are you sure you are not a girl Calvin?

Zona Bosted said...

WOW! Sometimes you're such a girl!

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

Sometimes?

-c

Zona Bosted said...

If this is a hint I don't want to take it!

Kell said...

Dude, this was depressing. Really depressing. But still. I've thought about that. It's weird to think you might not find out about someone you seriously care about dying until.. a day or two after.

So Gay! said...

What happened to the gay titles? One of those would have been more appropriate for this post.

"Let's hold wieners (I mean hands) and be best friends forever!" -c to -j

kayla said...

Wow Calvin way to show your sensitive side... a lot. So much.

♥,
Kayla

Annie Citrine said...

Okay, so this does sound kinda weird... but honestly if a girl were to say this, it really wouldn't be that weird. Which sounds like an insult, but it's really not. I think a lot of guys have a best friend they care about this much... they just don't express it like... this. hahahaha, I have to admit I laughed a little. But I dunno, it's not THAT weird. Don't worry, I got your back Calvin.

Laura said...

This was a hilarious post. I think you're my favourite. I kind of wish you'd served your mission in Scotland, not Ireland, because then maybe I'd have know you two as inseperable missionaries.

Rissy said...

I kinda feel the same way about one of my best friends.. yea I said "one of" I feel it's ok for me but not OK for my other friends. I actually wonder sometimes why she likes me so much... of course then I realize I am super cool.
And not to be debbie downer but when my boyfriend was killed his parents called his best friend who then called me... fortunately I didn't call back and found out face to face from my mom. I think Jake could be funny again in about 6 months so yea people would probably know.
Oh and guys tanning weirds me out

Anonymous said...

1. I find it hard to believe that you would ever watch Brokeback Mountain, since you're such a homophobe.

2. I have a best friend who I've known since we were like 6, and we aren't even like this. Weird.

3. I think Jake definitely humors you, because you're too much of a chick.

Anonymous said...

Let me get this straight (something you gay guys would know nothing about) - it would be hilarious if there were people going around committing hate crimes and killing Mexicans?! What kind of racist nonsense is that? I can't believe you guys can go around making these comments and no one challenges you on them. No wonder Utah has such a bad reputation.

Kristen K said...

You sound like me, Cal. Only one best friend and lots of acquaintances. I like the death pact idea. I've heard of it happening before, actually.

Brandi said...

I won't lie. I'm a little creeped out by the intensity of your bromance.

karlielsa said...

I used to enjoy reading this blog but something has changed. I can't put my finger on it but it's not as good. I'll think of it one day and let you know.

Anonymous said...

Calvin! You're not alone in how you feel. I feel this way about my best friend AND my husband. It's not "gay" it just goes to show how deep of a friendship you really can have with someone. Hooray for you for being MAN ENOUGH to admit it. Suck on THAT haters

B

Sarah said...

@Anonymous 9:46
Funny how you admonish them because hate crimes aren't funny right after you spout off homophobic ignorance yourself.
I <3 hypocrites!

Valen Hunter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valen Hunter said...

Karlielsa-

Maybe you're not enjoying it because there hasn't been much controversy in the posts and because the commenters aren't as vile.

I like it this way.

Michelle said...

I can't quit you!

Jocelyn said...

thank you so much for entertaining me during my painful prep for marriage class... it was torture and you made it all worth it. that is so horribly sad and i've definitely worried about that before! i can just see jake writing about a made up courtship... wow... i love both of your guy's wit...

Shelby Lou said...

I really like this.

Wanna know why?

Because, I am JUST like this. Really.

Drake said...

I gotta know...do you get a commission or something every time someone implies that you and Jake are gay in the comments? Because it seems like you are really going for the gold on this one, moreso even than the 'let's buy a house together and put up pictures of us holding hands' posts.

Nothing more hillarious than a racist hate crime/murder. Good call...?

Mormon Bachelor Pad said...

I try really hard not to do this, but I can't help myself.

Drake... you're an idiot.

-c

Tiffany said...

I tend to freak out if I cant get a hold of my friends for more than a day.

I am pretty sure it goes back to two years ago when I called my baby sister for 3 days straight and could not get a hold of her only to find out she had died and had been dead for 3 days in her apartment until someone found her.

So my friends know to immediately return my phone calls.

I miss her.

Ashley said...

I loved this post!

Yes it does make you sound a little femme but that's ok. Guys have feelings too people!

"I just got a weird feeling. I think Jake's spirit just communicated with my spirit to let me know he's dead. But I might just have gas." - best line EVER!!

Andee said...

My best friends Aunt called me.

I am seriously creeped out by you. Not because of the "homosexual vibe" you're trying to send out, but because everytime I read your posts, I am thinking about somethig similar right before.

Like this one for example, I Just BARELY got off the phone with my best friends mom. My best friend that died. and I was just sitting here thinking about how she made sure to have his aunt call me the night he died because she didn't want me to find out another way.

Not that you care about any of this or anything. I just think it's creepy.

Erin said...

you're right. this does sound pretty. gay. but i guess i can respect that.

and i don't think it would work if jake wrote posts for you. he has atrocious grammar and spelling issues sometimes.

Hailey said...

I'm that way about my husband. I like to make sure he is safe and protected at all times. Cal, you are definitely the woman in this relationship. LOL.

And P.S. there is nothing wrong with being gay. I don't judge.

Amanda Jenkins said...

my best friend is a guy and he's very similar to you, Calvin. We actually had this discussion one day, on what would happen to the other person if one of us died, and how the "best friend" would get notified.
but.....I definitely laughed my way through this, because I am very similar to Jake in this way - and thought the whole thing was hilarious! great post :)

Anonymous said...

that was the weirdest, probably worst blog i have read on your entire site. wow. i am done reading.

Anonymous said...

dude, I get how you feel. I'm the one-best-friend-at-a-time person too. I'm not sure which is better, to have one best friend, or lots of good friends. Whatever!
No I don't think it's gay, and who's to say it is? Stop hating people. Really. You CHOOSE to read the blog.

-Jess

hater said...

B - you're retarded. suck on what? that he's man enough to admit that he acts just like a girl? that doesn't make any sense.

you feel the same way about your BFF and your husband, because you are a GIRL, (or gay and married where it is legal). Either way, that is just stupid!

besides, calvin loves being told he's gay, that is why he says things like "a shoulder to cry on while watching brokeback mountain." he wants comments, good or bad.

if you want to keep the hate coming your way, just keep it up. I have plenty more insults.

hater said...

Jess - Dude, calvin purposely says things to set us up to mock him about being gay. he likes it, trust me!

I choose to read this blog, and comment because it is entertaining.

I can hate it if I feel like it, why don't you go back under your sheet and make a vlog telling everyone to leave brittany alone while mascara is running down your face, you stupid idiot!

Kate Weber said...

Aw. I love it when you guys let your gayness show. Touching. *wipes a tear*

Honestly, I've thought the whole: "If my best friend died, how long would it take before I knew." Fortunately, I'm very close with my best friend's family, and I'd like to think they'd call. I'm going to leave my parents a note of where to find my Facebook password, so that they can leave a status update or something if I were to randomly get hit by a toilet seat cover falling from the space station.

I'm with Hater! said...

I can't lie...I seriously read this blog more because I want to see what Hater will say. I love it. She/he may seem harsh, but the truth hurts. The dumbest thing about this blog is not the posts, but the annoying comments from stupid girls. I marvel at how many times so many girls comment and encourage Jake and Calvin to be more stupid with every post. Like I seriously think if they wrote a post saying they hit a girl or something, that some idiot would comment and say something like "don't beat yourself up boys, she probably deserved it." SO LAME! As a girl, I would rather be thought of as a biotch than a push over which is what most of the girls on here seem like. Ladies, trust me...there are so many guys out there who treat girls better than this. Why settle?

Anonymous said...

JESS- We CHOOSE to read this blog, just like we CHOOSE to comment however we want. These boys probably aren't even real and you're getting your panties in a wad. That's what's more entertaining than anything.

Bree said...

I think that everyone should stop saying "retarted".... seriously people. Not cool. Grow up.
Work in Special Ed. That is all.

Prick said...

Hater, and I'm with Hater...

You two bungholes are obviously the same person.

Blah blah, I'm with me, and I'm so awesome.

ha ha ha ha

Also, gay? Do you know what that means? It mean two members of the same gender have sex with each other.

Calvin is just really girly is all, and that has nothing to do with butt sex.

I suppose any two guys who love each other are gay in your minds... who says stupid stuff. You do.

I also find it hilarious that you are saying girls are falling all over these guys. For what being best friends. Oooooh good one, if the insults you got plenty of are silly and without merit like that then please keep them coming. baa

Britt said...

Dear Prick,

It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Love, Britt

singlemormonchick said...

i have never really been on the "mbp is fake" train. until today. i am so sad to think you guys might be totally fake instead of just anonymous and cool. IF you guys are for real, i have a question: do guys really act like that now? its just weird. bordering on creepy. maybe i need to resolve my own issues so that i can be comfortable with men who are obviously in touch with their sensitive sides.

Crystal said...

I had friend I was like that with....I ended up thinking I was in love with him but I wasn't. It was just this weirdly intense relationship.

Until I scared him off. We are buddies again now but it took like 2 years. Sometimes you just find a person that you feel that way about...sometimes the person is the same sex.

Don't scare Jake off Calvin. I think it's sweet though. :)

Allison said...

I love LOVE this post. Not because of the racist (but FUNNY) killing jokes- but because that's exactly how I feel sometimes! Maybe I shouldn't say it here- because what if my best friend reads it and freaks out! But I definitely know where you're coming from. And I think that if you're comfortable and "sensitive" enough to admit this, Jake and you must be really close. And I really love that! (Not in an I'm-making-fun-of-you-because-two-guys-as-friends-are-gay, but in an I-genuinely-appreciate-friendship way.)

Love it.

Blazzer said...

I think this is all the rave with the younger generation. My little brother and his friends try as had as possible to make each other feel uncomfortable by acting a little homosexual. Long hugs and putting their hands on each others thighs and stuff. Which results in a lot of laughter between them and those around them because its so obvious they are not gay.

Me and my guy friends never touched each other growing up, but I'm 10 years ahead of these guys so what do I know.

Funny stuff guys.

-Blazzer

Waiting in the Wilderness said...

alright I totally love this calvin. along with all the other less flattering opinions I can sometimes have about you, botttom line, totally love you.

Anonymous said...

Prick -

for your information gay means same gender attraction, it does not mean that you have to do the deed just to be gay. How do you explain people who say they have been gay since they were a little kid? Are you saying they were having gay sex at the age of 5?

Calvin and Jake say plenty of things to lead us to believe that they are pretty gay, and by gay I mean they are attracted to eachother and act like two gay guys. It has nothing to do with them being stupid.

Besides it is freaking hilarious so why don't you go find some gay blog to talk about gay sex on.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:35...THANK YOU! Very well put! I picture Prick as a lonely, messed up little guy (who's obviously hitting for the other team) who only comments on this blog because he is bored with his own poor excuse of a life. He seriously blows everything out of proportion on like every single post on here. Sad.

Anonymous said...

polyandry.

{Jesica Huffaker} said...

If I hadn't read all the posts about the fact that you actually have girls in your life occasionally, I would say you guys were gay. Cute, but gay.

Abi said...

I think everyone feels like this and most people are just too afraid to admit it.
I liked the post :)
Especially: "I think Jake's spirit just communicated with my spirit to let me know he's dead. But I might just have gas."

Good stuff, Calvin

WTFreak said...

I am shocked that you did not post my comment, but you posted prick's.

Prick is talking about butt sex and you let it through, but mine you reject? I don't get it, what is the criteria for getting a comment posted or rejected?

I am pissed!

Hailee said...

Anonymous 6:32 is right, for whoever said it towards the top. A girl marrying multiple men is called polyandry.
you two might want to petition the brethren to get it instated
just a thought

Unknown said...

I feel like that with my best friend, too. She's a girl, but still, she's my best friend, nothing romantic at all. I think it's because we moved around a lot as kids, Calvin. I went to 5 different elementary schools, and I met my best friend the second half of my freshman year of high school. I do have tons of other friends, and even multiple "best" friends, but at the moment, she's the only one I feel like that for. Anyway, I think I feel like that because I don't really have much of a hold in her life. We only met 4 years ago, and our other friend knew her since they were in kindergarten. How am I supposed to compete with that? If I didn't hear from her or she didn't respond to my texts I'd get a bit nervous, but after we had this conversation about how we couldn't imagine having our group of friends together with one of us missing, I realized that she needs me as a friend as much as I need her, so I'm good, now. And I totally plan on visiting my friends as a ghost. I've definitely thought of that, too, haha.

Brooke said...

wow its really surprising how seriously people take this blog. they write what's on their minds and inject "funny" things simply for the sake of humor and wit. you can't honestly believe that they are 100% serious about every single line that they write on this blog. to all the readers i just have to say: LIGHTEN UP, take a chill pill and just take it for what it is

Anonymous said...

Drake: I think you're on to something. nearly 30 comments about how 'gay' they are. it does seem like he's going for some kind of record

Anonymous said...

this blog is getting boring.

colleenroselle said...

my brother is probably the exact same. his best friend got accepted to byu-hawaii and will be leaving him and I totally bet he went to his room to cry.

Anonymous said...

AWWWW!!!
Is it your time of the month or something?

BTW: A great cover to hide being gay is by pretending to be ubber obsessed with girls.

Nikki said...

I love talking about gay people. Especially with 20 something year olds who are part of this spoiled rotten entitlement generation. Nobody can ever say anything mean about anyone or all hell breaks lose and we all become a bunch of friggin haters. Yea I am a hater. I pretty much hate all the retarded commenters on this blog. Yea I said retarded. RE-TARD-ED. Also, man love is a beautiful thing and most men do want to spoon one another if they dig the same man shit. It's just perverted by today's oversexed hypergay society. Am I a homo-phobe? Hell yes and hell no. I could kick a gay guys ass but never would because let's face it girls what woman doesn't want a Will or a Jack in their life. But if you are a lesbian...yea I am a phobe. Butch dyke lesbians scare the pee-pee out of me-me, I am not gonna lie.

Nikki said...

oops accidently sent my comment on another thread...old.

brooke said...

i am like you in the sense that i prefer to have a few quality friends rather than a quantity of random ones...and of course usually one of the few is my number one go to gal...

but i take issue with pretty much one thing in this post...how the freak could someone watch brokeback more than once?

Anonymous said...

I usually enjoy reading your blog. This one is GAY.

Angela said...

My best friend and I have had the same conversation. I don't think it's weird at all. I loved this post.

Lindsay Anne said...

hahaha....you guys are hilarious.

Scared of Nikki said...

Nikki, you scare the pee pee out of most of us. I don't understand how someone the same age as my mom can spend so much time on here. Also, the way you talk as if you are all tough and stuff makes you sound a little butch yourself. However, I doubt that you could fight your own way out of a brown paper bag!!

Anonymous said...

Nikki-you make me sick! The fact that you get some sort of sick enjoyment out of using the word retarded is enough to make people want to vomit. What if your child were retarded or disabled? I bet you wouldn't use that term so loosely then. It's my belief (and most people's) that a child that is retarded is the closest thing to perfection! The people that are blessed with such kids are the lucky ones. Who else can say their kids came into this world perfect, and left it the same way? It's one thing to let it slip every once in a while without thinking, but it's another thing to purposely use it. You are a disgrace and seriously should be ashamed of yourself! I hope you are not a mother and if you are, I pity your kids!

Anonymous said...

Dead? What happens if Jake gets married?

Oh, wait, it's Jake. Never mind.

Nikki said...

I don't think disabled kids are retards, I think YOU are a retard anonymous 1:18 and it is people like you who are pathetic sanctimonious morons. Anonymous do you call special needs children retards?? If you do then you are missing serious brain cells. I am glad I make you sick. Go vomit somewhere.

Nikki said...

I love it when the thread takes a turn toward me. It really is my objective to see who I could incite to comment. I win.

Anonymous said...

Stop getting your feelings hurt over the word retard, it's retarted! I would never call a disabled person a retard, I only call idiots that make stupid comments retards!

Anonymous said...

You're still a 65 year old wannabe cougar who gets her jollies off reading about the promiscuous near sexual exploits of guys young enough to be your grandkids. And I'm not. I win. You lose. Game over.

Prick said...

Okay okay, I'm not scientist but I think that everyone should take note that there is only one person on this planet who HATES this blog.

One person who is so upset that they think they will tear down the blog with their stupid... stupid comments.

Why do I make suck a claim?? Well if you read the "you suck", and "I'm with you suck", and "my fake name is" and I second every thing the first two sucks said you'll notice that they all happen in the same 30 minute period.

Not once in a while, but every time. Who could be so mad that they are pretending to be a legion of angry, offended, dunces?

The Supermodel guy? Maybe that photographer chick, or one of the girls that got rated and couldn't take it? I don't know, but take note people. Because now instead of seeing 3 hate comments in a row the dork will space them out so it's not so easy to tell.

It's pretty obvious on the last three posts since I started reading.

Also a Prick said...

Oh man Prick, you're right. You are so right. I think your amazing, so does every one else.

Anonymous said...

Prick is right, I can't believe I was so fooled.

Whose the goose!?

Hater commenters that have no point but to hate are lamespice!

Tiffy said...

THANK YOU Anon 5:23 and Prick. Thank you for speaking the truth. How refreshment.

Prick said...

Yes, how refreshment! hahaha.

Sexy hot busty mormon willing to change religions for funny smart-asses named Prick said...

Oh Prick, you're so charming and cute sounding LOL and funny :)

My favorite part of this blog is you and you witty amazingness.

The funniest part ever was like the three times that hater changed their name or something to anonymous after typing something else in, and you said, Anonymous stay out of this, and they totally didn't get it and got back on and yelled at you for being so dumb

(sigh)

So super duper cool.

Britt said...

So does that mean that Prick, Also a Prick and Anonymous 4:23 and even Tiffy are the same person, since all 4 comments happened within 6 minutes of one another?

-Britt

Nikki said...

I think boob nazi is in town. How do I know? Total retard freak out and I the I am younger than you neener neener comment. Both some of my faves from the boob.

Prick said...

Also, Nikki, again... you rule!

Nikki said...

I love prick(s).

Prick said...

You rule, but you're still old.

Nikki said...

I know. I'm ok with it.

Anonymous said...

Why don't we ask Rainman? He practically bankrupt a casino and he was a ritard.

Chantel said...

wow. just wow.

*shudder* said...

I think nikki and prick are about to start making out.

Valen Hunter said...

I must have been sleep typing again at err 11 a.m. when I said that the commentors aren't as vile lately. They're back.

Anonymous said...

hahaha Shudder. I agree and I also agree with The Lady Girl. Go find another blog to talk about homosexuals and to make fun of retarded people. Seriously, why are you even on this blog?

Valen Hunter said...

anon 7:32

Thanks for agreeing with me but I don't agree with you. I love talking about homos, and I don't mind making fun of retards either. By "retard" I don't mean handicapped people. I think the time has passed that society refers to the handicapped as retarded. "Retard" is a word meant for idiots. It is in no way demeaning to the special needs populous, and no longer refers to them. Unless you were indeed meaning to make fun of them. (and what person in their right mind would do that?) There is no harm done here. Chill.

Lauren said...

Lady Girl, your personality is almost as ugly as your face. I am guessing you are single judging by that huge honker of a nose! Oh, I didn't mean that to be demeaning, no offense. There is no harm done. Chill. YOU FREAKING IDIOT!

Valen Hunter said...

almost as ugly? Phew! Thank goodness my personality isn't completely uglier than my face, how in the world would I live? Some one must love my nose, I am married. Although I don't know how husband deals with it, he must cry every day b/c he has to look at me. I'm sure someone payed him off to marry me. That big ole nose of mine.....

Joie said...

I usually read this blog to get a laugh or something, some kind of relief from my day at work but now with all these comments it's like dragging me down. Why do you guys have to be so negative? Chill!!!

Heather Guymon said...

I just peed myself a little.

Anonymous said...

He must close his eyes or turn the lights off.

Valen Hunter said...

Anon: 2:09

You nailed it on the head.

Its a Breezy thing said...

Calvin.. I enjoyed your comments on ksl about the 14 year old driver, especially the pink bike idea.