The executive secretary has been trying to get in touch with me for awhile. When I say "awhile", I mean for probably a month. (The Executive Secretary is the individual responsible for scheduling appointments at the bishop's request.) He finally caught up to me on Sunday at church and asked if I could stick around for a few minutes after sacrament meeting to talk with the bishop. I said, "Sure. No problem." I figured it was probably because he wanted to call me to some other position in the church. I hoped it wasn't in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, but deep down I kind of thought it might.
When I got into his office, he asked if he could say a prayer before we started chatting. He said the prayer and then he sat behind his desk in silence for a few seconds. I started getting a little nervous. Then he said, "We've got a problem, Calvin." I replied, "We do?" My mind started racing. What did he know? R-rated movies? No. Porn? No... not recently. I had no idea. Then he started talking. He told me that he had received a phone call a few weeks ago from a bishop in another University Ward. Apparently someone in that University Ward had confessed some sins to her bishop regarding some (alleged) immorality. Her bishop had then asked her to give him the name of the person who took advantage of her... which she did, obviously, cause I was sitting in the bishops office. I instinctively asked, "Who are we talking about?" even though I knew he wasn't gonna answer me. Then I realized how that must have sounded. The bishop probably interpreted that to mean, "You'll have to be more specific, Bishop. I violate so many women I can't keep them all straight."
He sighed and said it wasn't important who had given him the information. Then he said, "I'm worried, Calvin, that you might be one of the predators in my ward." I said, "Predator? Really?" He explained that there are some male members of the church who prey (with an 'e') on the women in singles wards. They behave inappropriately and then promptly move or change wards when they feel like there's nobody left.
I reminded the bishop that I had recently met with him and had told him everything at that time. He said, "You're going to have to remind me, Calvin. I meet with a lot of people." I assured him that all of my sexual transgressions had been dealt with and that my conscience was clear. He apologized for his abrupt approach, but explained that he is very protective of the sisters under his stewardship.
After I left his office, I thought about a lot of things. First of all, who was it? It couldn't have been Gaye because I didn't do anything immoral with her... plus she was too recent. Everyone before Gaye I had already spoken with the bishop about. Then I remembered that he had said "University Ward" specifically. Tori. It had to be Tori at BYU-H. It had to be. Except we hadn't even done anything THAT bad. That said, I have no idea how things work at BYU. Her BYU bishop probably told her that tongue-kissing with anyone other than your Eternal Companion was evil. She most likely broke down into tears and told her bishop that a horrible guy named Calvin had kissed her repeatedly while she was laying down in her bed... a mere six weeks before flying to Hawaii. Why she failed to tell him about her weekend of horizontalness with Aaron, I'll never know. At least I had dated her for while. Aaron hadn't. Why the crud am I getting labeled the Ward Predator? Aaron is worse than I am.
Then I thought, "Did she really tattle on me?" I mean, I've never been asked by a bishop for names of girls I'd made-out with. Ever. Before my mission I had told my bishop about a few heavy duty make-out sessions and he told me to call each girl individually and apologize for disrespecting them... but he never asked for their names and addresses. Plus, it's not like I was forcing myself on them. It was always mutual... I'd even argue that, more often than not, it was the girl pushing ME further.
Whatever. Tattling isn't part of the repentance process. I think it's stupid to back a sinner into a corner and tell them they have to confess. How sincere will they really be in that scenario? How remorseful? How penitent? Sure, they'll be upset that they got caught, but I doubt they'll be truly repentant.