Friday, May 1, 2009

Supplemental - CALVIN

Primary writer of this blog. I've decided to propose to the first girl who scratches my back during Sacrament Meeting without being asked. Some guys like really short skirts. I don't. I prefer long dresses that have one of those slits that go up to about mid-thigh. I like the "teasing" nature of catching a glimpse of skin about every fifth or sixth step. I think it's really easy for a girl to be "too skinny". I prefer curvier women who have dark hair and always smell like shampoo.

APPEARANCE
height: 5' 9" weight: 152 lbs..
hair: blonde eyes: green
genealogy: Irish Norwegian
attractiveness: 6.5
coolness: 9

FIRST DATE Q&A
from: Spent elementary and Jr. High in Northern Utah. Moved to Davis County for High School.
family: Older brother and a younger brother... and a tomboy younger sister. Parents together.
high school: Layton High School
mission: Dublin Ireland 2/07-2/09
church calling: Sunday School Secretary
school: Part time.
job: Low stress desk job.
when he grows up: Seminary Teacher or a male escort.
favorite movie: My Life
music: 80's Girl Bands like Roxette, Joan Jett, Pat Benatar or The Bangles.
motto: "I might as well save some time and just duct tape that doughnut onto my ass."

RATE THE FOLLOWING PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS IN THE ORDER MOST IMPORTANT IN AN ETERNAL COMPANION:

1. smile/laugh
2. complexion
3. legs
4. butt
5. shoulder width
6. breasts
7. hair
8. eyes

19 comments:

Bethany said...

Calvin you are totally my favorite...you are hilarious and I feel like if everything about you is true we would be great friends! Also post about Lance more he cracks me up for some reason!

Buggsby said...

So, I have a question, for the both of you, or anyone really. I've always been curious, how do you guys rank girls (and guys even). On the scales you always make. What makes one girl a 5 while another is a 9?

Buggsby said...

both of you meaning jake and calvin

The Blog Stalkers said...

Seriously? A seminary teacher? Don't.

Anonymous said...

Here's a question. There's a lot of talk about rating girls on here. You've also rated your roommates, so it appears you can do that without having any sort of homophobia about it. So...would you rank GUYS on here as well? The reason I ask is NOT because I'm gay (I'm not). It's just that...you rate yourselves as pretty average in the looks dept yet you seem to pull chicks pretty well. Someone might read this and think, "he rates himself as a 6, but, relatively speaking, I must be a 3 on their system because I don't think I have their level of game." So, you could actually do a great service to guys if you rated them. A guy who might think he's a 3, b/c he's not bagging the ladies like you are, gets a 6+ rating from you and - BAM - he now has confidence to get out there.

Just a thought. I'm married to a hottie and she digs me, so I don't need your....services.

thanks

Anonymous said...

You should NOT be a seminary teacher.

Anonymous said...

when he grows up: Seminary Teacher or a male escort.
... haha i love it!

Ann-Cheri said...

Calvin. You are totally My favorite! Anytime I need a good laugh I read your posts. Thank you!

April said...

you make me laugh.

April said...

you make me laugh.

Hannah @ The New Black said...

Layton!?! Buddy, that's my hometown...only I hail from NHS. ☺

Kari said...

Pretty sure this blog just made my life! So funny!

emz said...

I think you know one of my friends. He should be from wherever you are and he went to the same high school you did...

Zona Bosted said...

Daughter of a Seminary teacher, trust me you really don't want to do that.

Wendy said...

I wanna be on you.

Wendy said...

wait..that came out wrong...

The sexy godess of ogden. said...

Calvin! I'm so in love with you, we're going to meet someday, and we're going to get married! I want your babies calvin!!! Marry me!!!! I already have most of our wedding planned out, its going to take place in the salt lake temple, on 11.11.11. Then we will head off to a hotel so we can do the dirty hehe, then we're going to maui to lay on the beach and make out. We can do that because we'll be married! Oh Calvin! I cant wait until the day arrives when i show up on your doorstep.

Anonymous said...

FAGGOTS.

Anonymous said...

Yay I went to the Ireland dubln mission too! Left in the summer of 07, so I wonder if our paths crossed. I'm Sister Durrant, but now I have a new last name. What areas were you in?? I miss it.