Sunday, April 4, 2010

Blusher

I've made a little headway with Mikaela. I skipped a couple of classes just before Spring Break and she's missed a few classes this last week, so our paths haven't crossed as often as I'd have hoped.

Just before Spring Break, we had to give oral presentations in front of the class as part of our midterm. Oral presentations are interesting for me. They give me an opportunity to be funny in front of the class, but I dread them. They're like talks in sacrament meeting. They scare the crud out of me. But somehow, simultaneously, I love to stand in front of a bunch of people and say borderline inappropriate things in order to make them laugh. I always think it's hilarious when I'm saying it, but when I'm reliving it later and I remember something I said... I also remember how nobody laughed and then I blush. Seriously, I'll be watching T.V. all by myself and I'll remember something I said three months earlier and I'll get embarrassed and start blushing. It suck so bad. I have to purposely put the memory out of my head so that the blood can go to other places in my body other than my freakin' ears and cheeks.

I've been late quite a bit to my Geography class. A couple of weeks ago, I came in late as usual and found a seat rather quickly. The teacher looks at me and she says, "Nice of you to make it to class, Calvin." I say, "Sorry. I kept getting lost." I felt my face starting to get red as three or four of my peers looked back at me. Then the teacher started to look back down at her notes, but then I saw her head jerk back up and stare at me again. Then she said, "Oh look. Calvin is a blusher." The other 20 or so students cranked their heads around so they could see "the blusher". Criminy. How embarrassing. I wanted to slash her tires. Luckily, that wasn't the class Mikaela is in. I'm only known as "the blusher" in that class now. I can be other things in my other classes.

Anyway, so as I prepared my midterm I felt like it had some pretty humorous nuggets strategically placed throughout the report. Even through my intense fear, I sensed a hint of excitement that Mikaela would be able to see me shine in front of the entire class. Unfortunately, Mikaela wasn't there on the day I gave my report. So I ended up presenting my report and surprising the whole class with how cool and funny I am... except nobody else mattered. Mikaela wasn't there so it was all a big fat waste.

This last Friday, though, Mikaela and I were both in class. It felt pretty good sitting next to her again. I didn't know what to say, though. I was out of funny. About halfway through class, I hear her say, "Psst." Then "hey". I hoped she was trying to get my attention, but I didn't want to be overly eager like when a hot girl waves from across the room and the guy eagerly waves back before he realizes she was waving at the hot guy behind him. So I just waited until she said my name. I figured that was a pretty safe bet.

Then I heard her say, "Psst, Kevin." A part of me hurt a little bit inside that she was trying to get Kevin's attention instead of mine... whoever Kevin was. Then I felt her tap my right ribcage. She was talking to me. I cranked around. "Hey, Mikaela. What's up?" She said, "Do you live around here? Like close to campus?" I reply, "No. Not really." She proceeded to ask me if I drive to school or take the bus. I told her that I try to avoid taking the bus after the time the gang of homeless guys stole my shoes and Bubblicious. Then Mikaela said, "Do you mind giving me a ride to work after this? Unless you have another class or something, then don't worry about it." I did have another class, but I told her that I was planning on skipping it anyway and I'd love to take her to work.

I thought about a couple of things during the last 20 minutes of class. First I thought about what we were gonna talk about for the walk to my truck followed by the drive to her work. I thought about taking a few quick notes about topics of conversation. I wished Jake was there as my wing-man. I always do better when Jake is around. Then I thought about the type of person that asks a (almost complete) stranger for a ride somewhere. She has no idea if I'm a rapist or if I plan on slipping a roofie into her Powerade while she's putting her backpack behind her seat. Then I thought, "She thinks my name is 'Kevin'. Hasn't she called me by my real name before? I don't remember. If she thinks my name is 'Kevin', that is something I need to remedy as quickly as possible."

After class ended we started walking to my truck. In Single's Wards you meet a lot of new people all the time. There are a lot of introductions, a lot of new names, and a lot of forgotten names. I've been in a lot of situations where I'm fairly certain that a girl I'm interested in has forgotten my name. The last thing I wanted to do is let her call me the wrong name too many times until someone else corrects her or embarrass her by saying, "What did you call me? Oh, my. That's not even close to my real name." So I've devised a little strategy that works perfectly, and I decided to use it on Mikaela.

I didn't know how certain she was that she knew my name. She may have only thought that 'Kevin' was my name so she took a chance. I've done that before. My strategy is to wait for an opportunity to tell a story, real or fake, and make sure I say my name as many times in that story as possible and make it clear what my name is. Sure enough, Mikaela asked, "Is this your truck, right here?" This was my opportunity.

"Yeah. This is it. It used to be my brother's but when he left on his mission he told me, 'Calvin, I'll just let you take over the payments on this truck, ok, Calvin?' and I was, like, 'That sounds great.' Then my mom said, 'Calvin, don't forget to get gas when it hits a quarter tank. You don't want to run out of gas, Calvin.' Then I said, 'I got it, Mom. Thanks.' Then she said, 'You're welcome, Calvin. I love you, Calvin.'"

As I told that completely fictitious and boring story, I tried to see if Mikaela was absorbing what I was saying. I think she got it cause when I dropped her off at Lens Crafters 10 minutes later, she said, "Thanks for the ride, Calvin. I owe you one." Actually, Mikaela, you owe me a couple.

-Calvin

53 comments:

Jade said...

After saying your name so many times in your little story, I'd hope she got the point that your name is Calvin.... I'm going to laugh though if she brings you starburst's to repay her "I owe you one" haha that'd be awesome!

Anonymous said...

hahaha loved your name strategy Mr. Blusher.

Anonymous said...

She owes you a couple? Why does she owe you a couple?

singlemormonchick said...

i am a blusher too and it SUCKS. i can totally keep it together-my expression will be fine and my tone of voice just great, but my face freakin catches on fire! i hate it. guys seem to think its cute so sometimes i roll with it, but it is such a giveaway to what i am really feeling. hate that soooo much.

Kat said...

oh i feel your pain, fellow blusher. although my whole face turns beat red, i dont know if that still counts as blushing...

ethan_marston said...

Blushing definitely sucks. It doesn't even have to have anything to do with me, if someone calls attention to me or puts me in an awkward situation I always blush. It's especially frustrating when someone asks me something like "Do you like her?" or "Are you lying?" And then they think I'm lying. Totally lame.
Oh, and I'm stealing your name-remembering strategy. If anyone notices I'll admit the source, though...and I'll probably blush.
>_<

Autumn said...

Is it bad I'm excited I made it to the sidebar twice?

Taren said...

i hate this blog. so much.

brooke said...

i am SO the same in remembering something i said or how i put my foot in my mouth hours or days later and then feeling terrible about it...i am SUPA sarcastic (well i like to call it witty) and sometimes i forget that folks may not take things as i really intend them...so then i usually end up texting them about it only further making myself look like a bum when they either a.don't even remember (lame...you should ALWAYS remember the awesome things i come up with) or b.totally got it and think i am ratard for trying to explain the awesome thing i came up with...so i've started to just accept that my brain produces awesome thoughts which turn into verbal out pours usually before i can filter them and just go with it...i think you should do the same...unless blush is a good color on you and then eh.just go with that...

as for the name game story...whoa buddy...the only thing that would have been going through my head if i was mikaela wouldn't have been realizing i had gotten your name wrong but thinking about how confused i was about why i was listening to some crazy detailed story you were telling me about how you came to have your truck...
but it sounds like it all worked out in the end so hmm.what do i know...

Crystal said...

I'm a blusher too. I wasn't always though, not sure when it started. I hate it.

Mikaela said...

It still trips me up to see my name, especially since it's not a common one. Weird.

Anonymous said...

I love how Autumn says she's done reading, but CLEARLY she's not. She's obsessed...

wish I were a fly on the wall inside your brain said...

"ya, so this was my opportunity to remind her of my name...

who cares about the fact that this may have been my only chance to make a good impression on her, and I totally blew it by boring her to death.

the good thing is - she knows my name!"

really?

S said...

I have an unusual name so I know where you're coming from.
I've done something like the story thing before too.
It works.
Or I just embarass the guy because I'm mean like that:)

Liz said...

Just a few too many "calvins" ;P

c a n d a c e said...

Glad she caught onto your name after the story...
I hate it when people point out you're blushing... ugh!

c a n d a c e said...

Glad she caught onto your name after the story...
I hate it when people point out you're blushing... ugh!

Autumn said...

I already admitted AFTER I posted that sidebar comment, that I was addicted. So how bout you shut the hell up. :) K. Thanks.

Jason said...

woah.. Anger issues Autumn?

WilWheaton said...

Does Mikaela have nice legs?

I was luckily given a very easy name to remember, in fact I'd bet everyone says my name on a daily basis, it's a pretty sweet deal.

Sam, The Nanti-SARRMM said...

So are you going to give us the details of the date you were on the night Jake scored a make out from Daisy?

Anonymous said...

for some reason, I can't vote on your latest poll. but I will still tell you what I think.

yes, I would totally trust that you could pick out the cutest dress...

a- because you could get some advice

b- because both of you are pretty gay. especially since you have a blog that you post on regularly.

and c- because this blog is pretty trustworthy! :)

Rain Man said...

Another post by a couple of men who like to entertain people. Nothing new to see.

Pssst Calvin said...

who says "Pssst"?

except for fictional characters in a book.

so pissed off! said...

you lying sack of crap! I can't believe you changed my comment!

I was pissed that you didn't post it to begin with, but it isn't the first time you have rejected my comments so I was just going to let it go and not say anything. Then when I saw an edited version of my comment with a later time stamp...

oh my gosh.

you are so full of dog poo. I think I am even more upset than autumn right now.

T A S H M i i A A said...

I just recently became a follower && i'm like totally diggin your blog !:)

KatOfDiamonds said...

i have never considered "blusher" a euphemism for something naughtyish but i do now.
"I'm a blusher"
think about it.
or don't.
haha, i know that Calvin enjoys my dirty mind.

A Better Woman said...

You probably play D&D 1st Edition in your spare time too.

Anonymous said...

I didn't even know there were editions. you guys should play together.

Nikki said...

A few things. Stay away from this girl. She is probably hot and hot girls like to use guys. Not that you aren't hot enough to be her LOS equal, but in the world of men and hot women, she will use you and abuse you and it won't include make-outs. Usually the one who cares or lusts the most in a relationship has the all the power and the Delilah's of the world have always been able to convince you Samson's to cut your hair, give them a ride, copy your notes, take them to dinner, move their dresser yadda yadda yadda. I had a friend like that and she could make a man do whatever she wanted and rarely was it ever worth it for the poor sap. She isn't interested. Just sayin. Move on. She read you like a book and it's time to turn off the charm and give her the cold bastard shoulder. She will love that...:)N

PS. I think it is funny that the comments have gone down and I know why. People are so retarded. It is the fear of who you guys are that is driving that unfortunate ship and the hilarity of it is that those who fear your true identities are insecure morons with small dicks or chicks with daddy issues. Man up commentors and stop acting like you were just jilted by a long-time lover. It's so creepy. It's like divorcing someone you were never married to...
Love you guys. Whoever you are.

Molly McAllister said...

Blushing must be terrible.. How do you hide anything?

Asian Man said...

Your voting system is rigged! I has been a voting many times cuz I donnot think a pair of men can pick out a cute dress. You probably vote on it yourselves too!

Asian Man said...

So what's up with this?

Anonymous said...

You deleted the two posts revealing the truth about this blog. Cowards. Pussies.

lyKe OmG said...

o0o0o0 DrAmA above!

hahaha.

Anonymous said...

Please do a post about how annoying Nikki is. Freaking get a life grandma.

Nikki obsessed said...

Enough about me, let's talk about me!! I wish I were an anonymous loser trolling MBP. That is the life I dream of.

grandma Nikki said...

I want to snog with grandma Nikki. Nikki. Oh Nikki. I love Nikki. Nikki is so old and grandma like. I don't have a grandma. Make me cookies and cradle me grandma Nikki. Do a post about Nikki. Nikki. Nikki. Nikki. Oh Nikki your so fine you blow my mind. Oh Nikki. A girl named Nikki walked into a bar....

Anonymous said...

Ho now?

Really boys? Are we all going to act like tiny tiny 5 year olds because poor little jakie and Calcal dont want their precious viewers to know they revealed themselves?

I still wants to snog with you both. If'n that be ok.

Mary said...

Can I call you Janet and Clarissa instead, since you have a certain disdain for other names?

Cuz thatis how're you are acting, like little girls. That I wants to les-snog.

Pretty please?

Asian Man said...

Ok. I apologize for antagonizing you two. Whoever you are, whether geezers or college students in their low 20's, you are legit hotties who write a fantabulistic blog.

I apologize for the resentment caused. Keep writing ladies.

Anonymous said...

what is this gay blog. its seriously the stupidest thing ive read. I heard the guys that run it are two FAGS .... is that true?

OJ said...

Dang people need to stop drinking that haterade.

dear c and j said...

well i guess that's one way to get more comments...

just comment on your own blog, again and again.

and if you don't like someone's comment, just change it.

you're idiots!

Sarah Day said...

your post is too funny! please believe i thought i was the only one that thought about embarrassing things i've said in the past and blushed about it! good to know there's someone else out there that has that same problem. haha

Masked McKenna said...

Did you take down all the controversial 'revealed' posts? I was wondering how many comments they'd gotten up to and they were vanished.

If a guy repeated his name that many times in a boring story, I'd zone out. At least she got a ride out of the deal.

Datin'Kait said...

McKenna and I are sad for you.

C'est La Vie said...

wow. i don't know how i just found you but wow. this is going to bring some entertainment to my work days...

Brit said...

I am rotfl right now at Dear C and J above. hahaha, it is SO TRUE! Also, Nikki? Quit embarrassing yourself and go tend to your grandkids.

Immajustbeinhonest said...

You guys make Edward Cullen look like a freakin' Romeo. And Edward Cullen is an abusive stalker boyfriend. What does that tell you?

alanna said...

haha i canNOT believe how angry people are getting in the comments! i do stuff like that all the time, especially since i have a name people usually mispronounce.

although people knocking nikki's advice are kind of dumb...i have no problem asking a guy for favors even if i'm not interested in him. it's called having *friends*.

Immajustbeinhonest said...

Imma Just Bein' Honest, in case you didn't realize.

Autumn said...

I'm LOVING how people think I'm pissed off. Oh the power of the internet. You have some great followers who just so happen to be a bit off their rocker guys. Ha.