Judge Mikaela

You know how sometimes in a relationship there comes a point where you realize the particular person isn't who you thought they were? It can be a good thing occasionally, but most of the time it's a bad thing. Well, that happened with Mikaela. It really sucks, as well, because I feel like we've developed a really honest and loving relationship over the last few months. I know I've only talked to her four times, but I thought we had a connection. I mean, I don't know anything about her... other than she's hot and she works at Lens Crafters. But she's hot. I enjoy looking at hot women. It's like we were made for each other.

But all that changed today. I got to class a little bit early and the other class hadn't let out yet, so all of the students were hanging out in the hall waiting for the other class to end. I always hate situations like that cause I feel pressure to conversate with my peers. I don't really want to. What are we gonna talk about? The class? Glee? Homework? None of those things interest me. I thought about taking my iPhone earbuds out and putting them in my ears so it appeared as though I was jamming to my sweet tunes. Sometimes I even go so far as to move my lips ever so slightly so it looks like I'm singing along to a really awesome song, when in reality I'm eavesdropping on two or three different conversations.

Before I had a chance to get out my headphones I felt someone touch the back of my arm. It felt really good before I'd even turned around. (Looking back, I'm glad it wasn't a dude touching my arm or else I might have felt dirty) It was Mikaela... and she remembered my name. "Hey, Calvin." It was an awkward conversation... so for me it was pretty normal. I didn't have time to prepare at all for it and I felt like I was floundering. I was paying way too much attention to how I was standing. I was erect (as in 'vertical'), but leaning up against the wall on my right shoulder. I had on both of the straps on my backpack. I wondered if she thought that was weird. I glanced around quickly to see if other guys had on both of their shoulder straps. Every male in a 20 foot radius was either sitting down on the floor or holding their backpack in their hand.

I thought briefly about my mission. That was why I used both shoulder straps. With all the walking we had to do, it was definitely the most comfortable way to travel. Apparently I had subconsciously chosen to sacrifice "cool points" for comfort. Then I saw a kid come around the corner and I immediately noticed he was wearing both of his shoulder straps just like I was. I felt some of the tension leave my upper torso and I immediately felt better about my posture and my outward physical appearance. Then I noticed that the "two strap" kid had a tube coming out of his backpack emptying into his mouth. The kid was wearing one of those freakin' camel water pack thingies... walking around the Social Science building. I'd had an experience with all of the stairs previously, but a camel backpack? Really? I decided I didn't want to be anything like that kid.

As I was contemplating how I could subtly slide one of the shoulder straps off without looking too much like I was trying to be hip, I remembered that I was supposed to be engaged in flirtatious banter with Mikaela. I had been talking to her for a couple of minutes and I could barely remember what we'd been talking about. Then I heard her say, "You should totally come. Have you been to very many raves?" I kind of remembered her talking about going to a rave, but didn't think much about it because of my stupid obsession with my backpack straps.

"Um, no. I've never been to a rave? Are they fun?" Mikaela started telling me about how awesome they are, but I was thinking, "Rave? They still have raves? What year is this?" The only thing I know about raves is that people sell balloons full of dentist gas or something. And I'm pretty sure there are rock bands. Also, I've always thought raves were like one huge drugged up mosh pit. And I'm also pretty sure that people get hurt when they go to raves.

Instead of asking Mikaela if all of my preconceived notions were correct, I just silently judged her. I let her talk about how awesome raves were for a few minutes while I decided she wasn't Mormon and probably did drugs and slept with random guys while at her Happy Gas Rave Parties.

I don't like her anymore.

-Calvin